Disclaimer: Arr, I be not a-owning friends. Don't sue, says I. Okay, says you.
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THE ONE WITH THE STORY ABOUT THE CAMPING TRIP
Chapter Eleven: Somewhat Happy Reunions
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"Oh my God!" Rachel exclaimed. "The path!"
Monica smiled and nodded while Ross moaned something that might have been an exclamation of happiness. "See? I told you guys," Monica said.
"And we never doubted you," Rachel said with a smile. It was actually the path. The path! "I can't believe it! We made it! We made it we made it we made it!"
"Well, not yet," Monica said. "We still have to find either camp or people."
"Oh, that'll be easy," Rachel scoffed. "I'll go one way, you'll go the other, and we come back here when we find something."
Monica's face broke out into a big smile as well. "You know, that might just work. Actually, I think it will. So Ross, you can stay here, and we'll come back after we find something, or, say, and hour? That work?"
"Sure," Rachel said. Ross said something like "Mmnngrn kay." Monica took it to mean yes.
"So let's go!" she said, suddenly filled with amazing energy. Forget that she was starving. Forget that she spent last night sleeping on the leaves with only her brother's jacket. This would be good, no, this would be great, and all because of her. She'd seen the path, she'd thought of the plan to get them here, and now they were going to find people, and get out of here,
"Mon? Mon," Rachel said. "We going? You're just standing there."
Monica grinned. "Sure!" she exclaimed.
Ross and Rachel traded glances and then the girls left. Ross settled down on a rock next to the path to wait.
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"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God," Chandler said. "Hey Joey, Phoebe, OH MY GOD!"
"Chandler," both Joey and Phoebe said at about the same time. "Chandler calm down," Phoebe continued. "We'll find them. And if we don't, someone will. You don't need to freak out."
"Oh who's freaking out? You're here to save the stupid day and Joey I don't even know why he's here but now he's hungry and he's bored and we still haven't found them and Oh my god what are we going to do?" He paused to pant and then take a deep breath. "Oh yeah we're going to save the day sure right we're gonna save the day—"
"Chandler?" Joey said.
"Yeah huh what?"
"I have to pee. Do you mind stopping for a second?"
Joey wasn't entirely sure what Chandler said next, but it seemed like some kind of 'yes', so he nodded and grinned in thanks and ran off to the side to find a good bush.
Phoebe watched Chandler with concern. He was pacing frantically back and forth along the path, staring at the ground, and not really breathing. She decided to initiate contact. Sort of like what they did with aliens on TV. Take me to your leader. She smiled. Saying that to Chandler might not be the best idea. So she said:
"Chandler, talk to me. We'll find them, it's okay."
"No, we won't," Chandler stated, turning to face her and ceasing to pace. "We're never going to find them. Ever. These woods are big. And there are bears. Bears!"
Phoebe snorted. "Really, Chandler," she said. "How many stories in the newspaper are about campers lost forever or eaten by bears in upstate New York? Ever heard of Bear Mountains on the news? And you know they love to report things like that."
Chandler looked like he had some sort of response, probably sarcastic, but instead he sighed. Well, at least he was breathing now. Maybe this would be a good time to be asked to be taken to his leader. Then again, maybe not.
"Well, well, maybe you're right," Chandler said. "But how ARE we supposed to find them? I mean, it IS hopeless. Maybe they WERE eaten by the bear."
"If we don't, someone will," Phoebe said resolutely. "And what bear?"
"You know, the one from last night that we all ran away from like idiots?"
"Chandler, that was probably a really fat squirrel. We don't know. So just stop freaking out. Come over here. Let's hug."
Chandler shook his head, stared at the ground, then agreed. "Okay."
Phoebe wrapped her arms around him and they stood for a moment on the path. He put his head on her shoulder and sighed.
"Hey, hey, what do we have here?" Joey interrupted, zipping his fly as he walked back up to the path.
Chandler wanted to comment about how gross that was, but instead he just let go of Phoebe and said, "We have nothing here. Let's go."
"Okay then," Joey said, confused. Well, it didn't matter. He was hungry. He wondered if those berries over there were edible.
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Ross was very surprised when Rachel appeared back by his rock. "Okay, Ross, I just wanted to say, before we find someone, that we really can't talk about this, okay?"
"Huh?" Ross asked. "Oh. Yeah. Sure."
Rachel bit her lip. "I mean, people will hate both of us if the word gets out. And I didn't want to pretend that this never happened, but we really can't say that it did."
"Right. Okay," Ross said listlessly.
"Oh I'm sorry!" Rachel broke out. "I mean, I'd go out with you but I'm already going out with Chip and he hates you so please don't tell anyone. If he found out he'd dump me, and might hurt you or something... so don't say anything, please?"
Ross shrugged.
She sat down next to him and took his hand. "I'm really sorry," she said. "You're great, but I think this has to stay in the woods."
"Hey, hey, what do we have here?" someone interrupted.
Rachel jumped. up. A handsome guy of about her age was looking at her.
"Whoa," he said. "How you doin'?"
Before Rachel could respond, Phoebe and Chandler came into view. "Oh my God!" Rachel exclaimed as she let go of Ross, jumped up, and ran to hug Phoebe. The other girl seemed a bit surprised, and Rachel remembered that she really didn't know Phoebe that well. Then again, it didn't matter. They weren't lost anymore. They were even reunited with the others. This was so great so great so great!
"Dude, what happened to you?" Chandler asked Ross.
"I fell out of a tree," Ross said. And Rachel's never gonna talk to me again, probably. He wasn't sure which hurt more.
"I really don't know what to say to that," Chandler responded. "But are you okay?"
"No, not really," Ross said. "Mind driving me home, 'cause I don't think I can."
"Well, of course I don't mind," Chandler answered. "But uh, don't we need Monica? Where is she?"
"Oh, she's just looking up the other side of the path for people," Rachel cut into the conversation. "She'll be back any minute."
"See," Phoebe said triumphantly to Chandler, "They didn't get eaten by a bear."
Chandler half smirked at her with no humor then turned to Ross. "So what did happen to you guys?"
Ross, with plenty of help from Rachel, who was eager to tell the story, began to relate what had happened since the group had split at the stream. It seemed like a long time had passed, but it had been less than a day. Even the story didn't take much time to tell.
"So pretty much we just have to wait for Monica?" Chandler asked when Ross was done.
"Mm-hmm," Ross nodded.
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Monica did, of course, come, and shrieked in happiness as she saw the group. She threw her arms around Chandler, who was closest. to her. He looked a bit scared and carefully tried to transfer Monica over to Rachel. Monica didn't protest too much.
Chandler and Joey for the most part helped Ross stumble back to the campsite. A lot of this seemed like a blur, just more painful walking with his stupid injured foot. Anyway, half of his mind was focused on Rachel.
He would definitely miss her. He wondered if she'd still pierce him with those I-hate-you stares when he tried to talk to her, and whether she'd still laugh when she heard about the new thing that Chip had done to him. Would she change at all when they got back?
She already seemed like she was getting back to normal with her "Let's never ever talk about this, Ross" speech from earlier. She'd basically told him that Chip is once again God, you're once again crap, and I'm ashamed of ever having stuck my tongue in your mouth. So make sure no one ever knows I've sunk to that level.
It just wasn't fair. Nothing was fair. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Ross felt the tears start coming. Why now? he wondered. Why now when I'm surrounded by the only people I really respect, why now why now why now?
Monica came and kneeled down next to him. "Ross, what's wrong?" she asked.
He shook his head. Go away! Go away! Go away!
"Does your foot hurt?" Monica asked.
Ross shrugged. He couldn't exactly explain what was really making him cry.
"Okay, well we'll be home soon," Monica said comfortingly. "Don't worry."
Ross shrugged again and she went back to packing. He buried his head in his hands and it felt like he'd been sitting there for an eternity when Chandler came up and tentatively tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up. What did Chandler want? Well, not like it mattered. Rachel hated him.
"You hungry?" Chandler asked. "'Cause we've got some food now."
"Can't we just go home?" Ross asked.
"We are, in a minute. But Monica and Rachel are starving, and they said you probably would be too."
Ross wanted to make a comment about Monica always being starving, but she had given up her only food last night to him, so it didn't really seem appropriate. Also, the mention of Rachel's name only made him more depressed.
"So do you want something?" Chandler asked again.
Ross shrugged. "Sure."
As it turned out, Chandler had finally gotten over Joey's hot dog comment, and he'd roasted (with some help from Joey) hot dogs for them all. When he thought about it, this really hadn't been all that bad. Sure, he'd freaked out a little bit, but other than that it had been kinda fun. He'd have to do this some time. He speared the first ht dog and offered it to Monica. She took it gratefully.
"Chandler," Phoebe said when he'd tried to give her a dog, 'I'm a vegetarian. Don't you have anything but dead roasted animals?"
Chandler thought for a moment. Well, there were the hamburgers, and the hot dogs, and—
"Phoebe," he said, "I heartily recommend the s'mores."
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