Hawkeye leaned against the car casually, looking over the Californian map that he had spread across the hood. Trapper and Father Mulcahy were talking amicably to one another off to the side and Charles was standing alone behind them. The entire party was going on a day trip to a California state park somewhere south of San Francisco. At the moment the women were packing a picnic lunch and everyone else was...well it really didn't matter.
Margaret walked outside with Peg and Patty to see him standing beside his black Ford Thunderbird. He was wearing a pair of worn blue jeans and a white T-shirt. Margaret found the look very becoming. Hawkeye had his left hand jammed into his back pocket as the other traced various highways along the map. She couldn't help but notice how different he looked in civilian clothes. He was wearing his watch with the face sitting on the underside of his wrist and a thin silver chain around his neck. With the dark sunglasses and combed hair she almost didn't recognize him.
Hawkeye turned around and leaned backwards against the hood, he still had his hand in his pocket. Margaret noticed his gaze was following her as she walked over to the Hunnicutt's Station Wagon. She wanted to walk over to him and kiss him, but that would look conspicuous. Hawkeye grinned slightly when he caught her eye. She was making eyes at him and following him as she walked.
Hawkeye had been too busy watching her to notice BJ walk up beside him. Only when he spoke did Hawkeye realize he wasn't alone. "I'm sorry Hawk." A little startled Hawkeye turned his head and looked at him. Usually he didn't let people sneak up on him like that. "Erin's having a small temper tantrum, I think it would only be fair to you if she rode with her mother this time." It had been decided the night before that Erin was going to ride with Hawkeye, but it didn't appear that that was going to happen.
He had been surprised at how easily she had attached herself to him. They'd only been there three days. "Oh, well that's alright." Hawkeye looked over to see Erin crying in Peg's arms. She didn't look happy at all.
"Maybe on the way back?" BJ put his hand on Hawkeye's shoulder.
"Sure." Hawkeye smiled gladly, he had grown awfully fond of her himself.
"Great, I'm sure she'll be over joyed." BJ patted his back. "Now I have to move someone out of Peg's car and move them into yours." He scratched his head. "But who?" After a moment he walked over to the station wagon and began talking to the three ladies sitting in the back. Hawkeye couldn't see who had volunteered, but it was obvious it was the person sitting on the end. His chest started to pound when he saw BJ help Margaret out.
Charles made his move before she even reached them. "Ah, look who's come to join our little bunch."
"I hope you don't mind," she told him, looking rather at Hawkeye.
"Of course not Margaret, in fact, I'm delighted." He opened the back door and stepped aside.
"Now just a minute," Trapper pushed it closed and moved to stand before it. "You're going to make a lovely woman like that sit in the cramped back seat?" He gestured to Margaret.
Charles realized where he'd gone wrong. He shook his head. "How thoughtless of me." He moved to open the passenger door. "Although, she'll be forced to sit beside him." He pointed to Hawkeye who was standing with his arms crossed.
Margaret looked over at him. "It's not a long drive. I think I'll manage." She couldn't see his eyes through his glasses, but she knew they were dancing. Quickly she winked at him before climbing into the passenger seat. Charles shut the door and smiled at Trapper.
"Okay everyone, I think we're ready to get going!" BJ shouted before he climbed into his Sedan. Charles, Father Mulcahy, and Trapper each got into the back seat. Hawkeye stood where he was, looking over his map once more. Finally, he folded it up and walked around to the driver's side. Margaret watched as he opened the door and sat down beside her. Setting the map on the dashboard he pulled his keys from his pocket.
"Hawkeye!" Father Mulcahy was calling him from the back.
"Yes Father?" He looked at the other man through the rear-view mirror.
"This is remarkable, how did you get these?" He held up the lap belt.
"My father had them installed. It's the latest technology in car safety."
"I've only known one other person with seat belts in his car, and he too was a doctor." The Father was fascinated. Carefully he examined the buckle.
Hawkeye smiled. "That seems to be the trend." He looked back at the other men. "Well most doctors."
"They're quite expensive Pierce...where ever did your father come up with the money?" Charles asked skeptically, he hated when he was put on the spot.
"Then you shouldn't have a problem acquiring some for yourself Winchester," Hawkeye retorted. He had purposely avoided the other man's question.
Margaret looked over at Hawkeye; his jaw was firm. She looked back at Charles; he was examining the safety belt. Margaret reached around and buckled hers securely; she liked the idea of having them in cars. After seeing so many people die from car accidents, she welcomed the new security.
"So Margaret," Father Mulcahy was talking to her now. "How did you get the push out of the other car and into this one?"
Margaret smiled, Erin had been so fussy. The poor thing was exhausted. "I was sitting in Erin's favorite seat."
"Ah, of course. The little babe, isn't she darling?" Father Mulcahy beamed, he loved all children.
"Oh isn't she?" Her face lit up. Erin was just as darling as BJ had described her, if not more.
Hawkeye turned over the engine and pulled out behind the small caravan, they were a small ways ahead of him already. He shifted into gear and sped up to catch the other cars. Margaret put her hands over her hat to keep it on, he was driving fairly fast.
"Pierce..." Charles was calling to him from the back seat again. Hawkeye didn't bother to look at him, instead he studied the empty road behind him through his mirrors.
"Yes Charles?" Hawkeye shifted gears again.
"What type of car is this?" His hand ran over the leather seat.
Hawkeye grinned, he knew that question was coming. "It's a Thunderbird." He said simply.
"This must have cost a pretty penny. You surely can't have anything left after making such a purchase." Charles sounded confident. Hawkeye never would have been able to pay for something like that.
Margaret looked at him, waiting to hear his answer. He looked a little insulted, but she couldn't really tell with those glasses on. Finally he said, "I bought it when I got home, sort of as a present for myself. I figured I needed to have some fun after all that hell." Again he was avoiding the direct question.
"It's very nice Hawkeye," Father Mulcahy commented. Trapper stayed silent, he knew all about the car. He'd even driven it half way across the country while Hawkeye slept.
"I've seen these cars before," Charles added. "They're not cheap. How did you pay for this?" He sounded skeptical. Hawkeye didn't like that, it made him sound dishonest.
"I am a doctor Charles."
"Ah," he sounded triumphant, "But you said so yourself that you're not working."
"I never said that."
"Oh, I believe you did." Charles knew what he was doing, he was trying to twist his words to avoid the question.
"No, I said I wasn't working in a hospital, I never said that I wasn't working period." There, he'd gotten him. Margaret was looking at Hawkeye now with great intensity. If he wasn't working as a doctor, then what was he doing?
Charles started to press further, "Then what pray tell..."
Hawkeye cut him off before he could finish, "Margaret could you look at the map and tell me what highway we're getting of on." He reached over and picked the map up off the dashboard and handed it to her. Margaret took it gladly and opened it. Trapper knew Hawkeye had done that on purpose, he didn't want to talk about his personal life. Quickly Trapper decided to change the subject before Charles pushed too far.
"So Father, someone mentioned it once before, but what was it you're doing now?"
"I'm working at a center for the deaf just outside of Hannibal." Father Mulcahy gladly told Trapper.
"Oh? How did that come about?" No one had told him about what happened to him at the end of the war.
"Well, you see..." The Priest began.
After another half an hour, the group finally arrived at their destination. Candlestick Point, a rather large recreational park located on the bay. Hawkeye pulled into the parking lot and parked in a shaded area not too far from where the others were already beginning to unload. As soon as the engine was turned off the three men in the backseat quickly unbuckled and got out. Before Margaret could say anything to him, Hawkeye had already gotten out and started to make his way across the parking lot. She still had the map in her hand and wasn't exactly sure where to put it.
"Hawkeye, can you give me a hand with this table?" BJ called over to him. He was in the process of unloading a small table from the back of his car.
"Sure." Hawkeye walked over and took the other end as BJ pulled it out. "Where are we going?" Hawkeye asked once he had hoisted the table on his shoulder.
"There's a small clearing through the woods with a let down to the beach about half a mile from here," BJ gestured to a small path ahead of them.
"Half a mile?" Hawkeye asked in disbelief. "You must be kidding?" He adjusted the table; it was digging into his shoulder.
"Oh come on Hawk, it's not that far," BJ jested.
"Fine," he huffed as they started to walk into the trees.
Margaret looked over at everyone else, they were unloading baskets of food and lawn chairs. "Margaret, come hold this wine will you?" Peg called to her, she was juggling too many things in her arms.
"Coming," Margaret called back. She looked around quickly for a place to put the map, not wanting it to get misplaced or ruined. She pulled the glove compartment open, that was good place to stow it. As soon as she did that though, a bottle fell into her lap. Startled, she picked it up and looked at it. There wasn't a label on the outside or anything indicating it's contents, but Margaret had a good idea of what it was. She unscrewed the cap and poured a handful of small white pills into her palm.
"Margaret!" Peg yelled, causing Margaret to almost spill the entire bottle. She looked up to see Peg struggling to hold on to the things in her arms. Hastily she dropped the pills back into the bottle and threw it and the map back into the glove compartment.
"I'm coming!" She jumped out the car and ran to help the other woman. Margaret grabbed the three bottles of wine before they crashed to the ground.
Peg let out a delayed breath, "Thanks."
"Anytime," Margaret breathed, they had almost lost the wine all together.
Mildred and Edna walked over to them. "We've got the food and the men have the blankets and so fourth," Edna informed the
"So we're ready to go?" Peg asked.
"I believe so."
"Alright then, let's go." Together everyone walked down the trail and into the woods. After a few minutes they reached a small clearing with a picturesque view of the water. BJ and Hawkeye were standing in the middle waiting for the rest of the group when they got there.
BJ helped Peg by lightening her load and Hawkeye walked over to Margaret who was standing nearest to her. "Let me help you with that," he said as he took two bottles of wine.
"Thank you," she smiled at him. Margaret suppressed the sudden urge to kiss him, she had been thinking about him since last night. He had taken off his sunglasses so she could see his eyes, which only impelled her to step closer to him.
Hawkeye knew what she was thinking, he wanted to kiss her too. After having those feelings and always thinking she was interested in Trapper or Charles, it was wonderful to know she wanted him. "Sure," his eyes twinkled.
Together everyone set up the picnic site and grill and then decided to go their separate ways. The women were going to go for a hike through the woods while the men went fishing in the bay. Margaret stood alone by the table, she wasn't exactly sure what she wanted to do. The men had already left, so it was just them. She needed to think and sort out her thoughts, hiking with the other ladies wouldn't be the best way to do that, but how could she get out of that without being asked a lot of questions?
"No!" Erin screamed beside Margaret as her mother tried to pull her along. "I don't wanna go!" She was fighting as hard as she could.
"Erin, we're all going together. No one will be here, you have to come with mommy," Peg told the little girl.
"No! No! No!" She yelled even louder. "I want to stay with daddy!"
"Daddy has gone fishing, you have to come with us." Peg pulled her along.
"Noooo!" Erin kicked and pushed, she'd been feisty all day.
Peg looked at the others, "I'm sorry, but I can't go. She's tired, it'll be better if we just stay back."
Suddenly Margaret had an idea, "Peg, why don't you go. I'll stay with her." This was the break she'd been waiting for
Peg looked at her with thought, but decided against it. "No, no, you go have a good time. I don't mind staying back with her." She shook her hand and picked up her daughter.
"It's really no trouble, I love children. You must be exhausted, why don't you go and have a good time. I don't mind at all."
Peg looked at her, "Are you sure you don't mind?"
"Positive," Margaret smiled and held out her hands to the little girl. Erin went gladly into her arms.
"Well," Peg still felt a little bad, she didn't want Margaret to miss out. Then again, she was offering out of the kindness of her heart. "Alright." Peg agreed happily.
"Great." Margaret smiled at Erin, she looked very happy.
"All right then. Bye sweetie." Peg kissed Erin on the cheek. "Thank you Margaret." She smiled at the other woman before she walked away.
"No problem."
"Bye mommy," Erin waved to her mother. Peg waved back and so did the other women. After a few minutes they disappeared into the woods.
Margaret looked back down at Erin, she looked very content. "So what did you want to do?"
"I don't know," she said in her high little voice while holding up her hands. "What do you wanna do?"
Margaret set her on her feet, "What I want to do and what I can do are two totally different things."
"Why?"
"Because things are too complicated right now," Margaret sighed while looking at the sky.
"Why?"
"Because..." Margaret looked down at the little girl; she caught herself before she spilled her doubts about her love life to a three-year-old. "What's with you today and all these questions?" Erin shrugged her shoulders. "I'm sure."
"Let's go play," Erin pointed towards the water.
"I'm not sure, can you swim?" Erin nodded her head. "Oh, really?" The little girl smiled brightly. "Can you out swim...a shark?" Margaret asked coyly. Again Erin nodded yes. "I don't think so," Margaret said in a playing voice and picked her up and spun her around. Erin giggled and laughed; Margaret was a lot of fun.
Together the two played like that for a little while longer, Erin was such a joyful little kid. After a while though, Margaret decided it was time for a break. She spread out a blanket they had brought and together her and Erin lay down. It didn't take long, but after five minutes Erin was out cold. With Margaret able to sit in the solitude she was finally able to think. It was the most she'd been alone in over three days, something that was long over due.
In Korea, Hawkeye had been flamboyant and outgoing. He loved the sound of his own voice and never turned down the chance to make it known. Between the jokes and pranks, singing and sarcasm, he was one of the most nerve rattling people she'd ever met. He drank and cursed and yelled and carried on, but this man she'd met here, this wasn't him.
This Hawkeye was quiet and kept to himself. He didn't laugh and didn't joke; in fact he hardly talked. His mannerisms were strange in the fact that he didn't drink and rarely talked about himself. Its not like he really had before, but Margaret hadn't the faintest clue where he had been or what he had been doing. On top of that, something scared her even more, those pills in his glove compartment. What were they? They surely weren't aspirin; they were too small and too smooth. Why was the bottle unmarked? What was he hiding?
Margaret lost her self in thought for a good hour, thinking only of her and Hawkeye. She was worried about him and planned to find out what he was hiding. He'd said he'd loved her when held her on the beach the night before, Margaret didn't doubt that. That was the only part she could still recognize, his kisses, the taste of his lips, and the comfort of his arms. She knew he loved her, she could see it in his eyes, that was all that really mattered, right?
Erin sat up some time later, she looked around confused, until she spotted Margaret. "Maggie, let's go play!" She quickly jumped to her feet and pointed towards the shore.
Margaret looked at her; she wanted to go so badly. "Well, only if you stay close. I don't want you getting lost, you're mommy would be very angry." She stood up as well.
Erin grabbed hold of her hand, "Lets...go." She began pulling Margaret along with a passion towards the water. Together they walked down to the shore. Margaret removed Erin's shoes and socks and let her wade in the shallow water. "Fishy!" Erin cried when she spied a small group of tadpoles swimming along the sand.
Margaret sat herself down on a nearby rock and watched with close attention to the baby. Erin was trying her hardest to catch one, but they were just too fast for her. After several tries she ended up soaked, but Margaret didn't think anyone would mind, it was a hot day and they had brought along a change of clothes.
Margaret felt another body sit beside her and press against her back just then. She whipped her head around to see Hawkeye sitting there.
"Did I scare you?" He asked coyly.
Margaret shook her head and smiled, "No." She looked back at Erin to make sure she hadn't gone far, then turned back to face him. "I thought you were fishing with the other men."
"I was," he said. "But I'm not used to Pacific fish. I guess they heard a New Englander was coming and decided to give me a rough time."
"So you didn't catch a thing?" She asked, still smiling. It felt weird and yet electrical to be sitting that close to him.
"Not a thing," he repeated. "What are you doing? You didn't want to go on the hike?" He pointed to the little girl playing in the water.
"Oh..." she looked at Erin, "She was feeling restless and didn't want to go, so I offered to stay back and keep an eye on her."
"That's sort of how I felt last night," he said in a lower tone while moving slightly closer to her.
Margaret looked into his eyes. "Me too, I think Patty missed just as much sleep as I did." He leaned his head in and she moved to meet him half way. They were just about to touch lips when Erin let out a squeal. Margaret pulled away and turned around. She had fallen into the water and was giggling. Margaret let out an exasperated breath, the cry had startled her. When she had turned back, Hawkeye had moved away a little bit. "So, you're done fishing for the day?" She asked, suddenly everything felt awkward.
"Yeah." He looked away.
"So..."
"So..."
"Well, I think I better take her back up. She should change before we eat." Margaret stood up quickly.
"I'll go with you," he stood up behind her. Margaret felt his hand on her bare arm. She looked up at him. Before she realized what he was doing, he had swiftly and gently leaned down and kissed her tenderly on the lips. When he pulled away, they were both grinning.
"Erin," she called, turning quickly before she reciprocated with a deeper kiss. "Come on sweetie, its time to go dry off." Erin listened to Margaret and ran over to the two.
"I'm hungry," she said looking up.
"We we're going to get you changed for lunch."
"Okay."
Erin looked up at Hawkeye, she hadn't seen him join them. She held up her arms, letting him know that she wanted him to carry her. "I'm such a softy for a pretty face." Hawkeye leaned over and picked her up. "Besides, I'm already wet," he said when he realized she was soaked.
Margaret was walking in step beside him, she reached over let her hand run across his back. "You are wet, what happened?"
"They pushed me in," he said looking at her.
Margaret let her fingers play with the wet fabric of his shirt, "You're kidding."
"Trapper set me up and Radar and BJ pushed." He said, Margaret laughed.
After a few minutes they were almost to the cars, they could see them through the trees. "Did you bring a dry shirt?" She asked.
"There might be one in the car." He tried to hand Erin off to Margaret, but she didn't want to leave his arms.
"Alright here, give me your keys, I'll get it. You can get hers." She held out her hand.
Hawkeye's hands were full so he turned his hip, exposing his pocket. He was playing with her, thinking she might gasp at his intention. Without hesitation however, Margaret dug her hand in and pulled them out, she knew he was being fresh. "What's with all the keys?"
Hawkeye shrugged, he was surprised she actually did that. "I have a complicated bike lock."
Margaret smiled at him and rolled her eyes, "Peg said there's a change of clothes for her in a bag on the floor. The car's unlocked."
"Alright." He walked over to the Hunnicutt's Station Wagon and found Erin's clothes.
"There's nothing in the trunk," Margaret said when she walked back over to him.
"Oh well. I'll dry." He set Erin down on the seat.
"Do you need help?" Margaret asked the little girl.
"No," she said. "Privacy...please..." Erin asked in that sweet high voice. It was so cute, she wanted to dress herself.
"Alright, we'll be over here," she took his arm and led him around to the back of the car. Margaret turned to face Hawkeye when they were out of her sight. "Why don't you take this off and let it dry," she said to him. She could see the outline of his chest through the wet shirt.
"It's not too bad," he said looking at it.
"You know it would dry faster if you let it set out," she touched his shoulder.
"I'm fine."
"You're cold," Margaret said looking at his chest. With the dampness of his shirt, she could see she was right. She couldn't understand why he refused to take off his shirt though.
She let her finger graze across his chest and looked up and into his eyes. They moved towards one another slowly, touching noses and then kissing with gentility and precision. Margaret's hands moved to his neck as his wrapped around her waist.
They were so engrossed in each other that neither noticed Erin walk around the car and over to where they were standing. Margaret had her hands traveling up and down his back while Hawkeye had one resting on her hip and the other cradling her head.
Erin walked over and tugged at her shirt, "Mar-get, look, me dressed." She announced. Being three, she didn't care as to what they were doing, and really didn't notice. They tore their lips away from each other at the sound of Erin's voice, yet kept their arms wrapped securely around the other and looked down at the three-year-old.
"Yes sweetie, you are," she laughed. Hawkeye laughed as well, Erin had her shirt on backwards. She fixed her shirt and then leaned her head against his chest again, she loved the feeling of being in his arms. Despite the fact that he was damp.
"I'm hungry," Erin said excitedly and jumped up and down.
"Me too kid," Hawkeye smiled down at her as he rubbed Margaret's back. It felt heavenly to hold her in his arms. For four years he'd dreamt of her wanting him and now it had come true. Things were finally starting to go right.
"I'm hungry too, but I don't want to leave this," she mumbled against his chest.
"Me neither," Hawkeye whispered in her ear. They both knew that once they rejoined the group, they could no longer be together.
"What time is it?" She asked.
Hawkeye lifted up his wrist and looked at his watch. "Almost two thirty," he told her.
Margaret looked down at Erin, she was trying to catch a butterfly. "We should get going. They'll be down there soon."
"I think we have a few minutes." Hawkeye lifted her chin so she was looking at him, tenderly and gracefully he kissed her again. Margaret's arms raised to his neck and back as she kissed him in return. Neither wanted to pull away and join their friends, they wanted to stay like that.
It wasn't until Margaret's wondering hand found the hem of his shirt and moved to touch his stomach that he suddenly and abruptly pulled away. Hawkeye took a step back, causing her hand to slip out of his shirt. He looked back at her, his eyes were wide and he seemed unnerved.
"Wha...wha...what's the matter?" Margaret didn't understand, he seemed to be enjoying it.
Hawkeye's hands we gripping her shoulders, quickly he let go. "Nothing." He adverted his eyes and looked around. "I uh...uh...thought I heard someone coming." His hands jammed into his pockets again as he looked back at her. Margaret still looked confused. "I guess it was the wind or something."
"Yeah..." she nodded. Margaret could understand that, neither wanted anyone to know about them, but he was acting too panicky.
"Well I guess we should get going then," he took another step back. "Erin, come here darling," he started walking towards the little girl.
Margaret strayed back for a moment, something was very wrong. Normally she would have bought his story, but it was a cloudless, sunny day; there wasn't so much as a breeze.
By the time the three of them reached the picnic area most of the group was already there. Hawkeye was carrying Erin on his shoulders and Margaret was walking beside them. He was acting a little more like himself, but that still didn't make her feel one hundred percent better. By now she had decided that he was keeping something from her, and it had something to do with his refusal to take off his shirt. Somehow, someway, she had to get it off.
"I believe this belongs to you," Hawkeye said as he walked over to BJ.
"Hi daddy," Erin giggled, she thought it was hilarious that she was taller than her father.
BJ looked up at his daughter. "Hi sweetie, did you have fun?"
Erin nodded, "Uh huh."
"Yeah?"
"Me go swim and see fishy!" She clapped and laughed loudly. "Dis many," Erin held up ten chubby fingers.
"Wow!" BJ exclaimed in excitement. He looked at Margaret, "Was she good?"
"She was an angel."
"Good." He held out his arms and lifted his daughter off of the shorter man's shoulders. "Daddy missed you," he held her in his arms. Erin cuddled close to her father and began to suck her thumb.
Margaret rubbed her back, "She had a busy day."
"I don't think we'll have a problem falling asleep tonight." He smiled while leaning back to look at her face. Her eyes were still open.
"Is the food almost ready?" Hawkeye broke in.
"Yeah, it's being unpacked as we speak."
"Hungry..." Erin mumbled from her father's shoulder.
"I know honey," BJ rubbed her back soothingly and kissed her head.
"BJ!" Peg called him over to her.
"I'll be right back," he told his friends before walking over to see his wife. Hawkeye and Margaret looked at each other, they were alone now. Quickly he looked away and took a step in the opposite direction.
"So uh..." Hawkeye started while scratching the back of his neck.
"Yeah..." Margaret had no clue what to talk about either. She wanted to talk about what had happened to him after the war and his life now. She wanted to know why he wouldn't take off his shirt, even for her, and what the hell he was doing with an unmarked bottle of pills in his glove compartment. What was keeping him awake at night and why was he being so quiet? Margaret didn't understand any of it.
Hawkeye was watching her, she seemed lost in her thoughts. Her eyebrows were narrowed and she had a bewildered expression on her face. Margaret didn't even seem to notice he was standing there, she was in her own little world.
"Margaret?" He touched her arm.
Quickly she turned her head and looked at him, "Hmm?"
"Are you okay?" He asked her.
"Oh, yeah. I'm fine." She suddenly realized she been daydreaming. Hawkeye was searching her eyes, he knew she was thinking about something that obviously bothered her.
BJ walked over to them again, he hadn't noticed their lost expressions. "Here, I got you some wine." He handed them each a glass.
Hawkeye reluctantly took his, he looked from BJ to Margaret and back to the wine. "Thanks."
"Sure, here you go Margaret." He handed the other to her.
"Thank you," she took a sip.
"How long until we eat Beej?" Hawkeye asked, he still hadn't touched his.
"Any second. Speaking of which, I need to go get the napkins from the car. That's what I forgot," he added before quickly dashing to the parking lot.
Margaret chuckled, "I really love him." She took another sip.
"Me too." His glass hung in his hand by his side. He felt really uncomfortable.
"Aren't you going to drink yours?" She noticed he wasn't drinking. Hawkeye Pierce never turned down alcohol.
Hawkeye didn't know what to say, "I uh...um...I'm not very thirsty at the moment." Obviously he knew she wasn't going to believe him, but he couldn't think of anything better. Margaret just started at him, it was clear that he was lying.
"Come and get it!" Peg called suddenly.
Hawkeye took that opportunity to change the subject. "I'm starving." He started walking towards the table. Margaret followed and got in line behind him. She slightly touched his back and felt him tense up. It had been so long since another person had touched him in an affectionate way, even it was just on his back. It didn't even matter that her hand wasn't moving and that she kept it planted. Just that little touch had made him relax; it was nice to know she was there.
Hawkeye couldn't keep his eyes off Margaret the whole way through dinner. She had ended up eating with the Potter's and Charles on their blanket while Hawkeye got stuck with the O'Reillys and Trapper. She was incredible to him, how she was warm, and soft, and affectionate. He hadn't let a single woman into his life since Korea, and even then they were just warm bodies to keep out the cold. No woman had really ever held him and stroked his hair, with the exception of his mother and Carlyle. Margaret looked liked the type of person would do that, after all, he'd heard her say she loved it.
There were so many things that he wanted to tell her, that he needed to get out, but how in the world would she understand? Margaret had caused him so much angst over the last four years; it would be stupid to tell her. And then there were some things that he knew she could never understand. All he could hope for is that she would be patient with him. In times past, it tore him apart that they weren't together and that he didn't fit into her future. Now that he was, he was terrified of losing her.
"Pierce..." Someone was kicking him lightly in the back. Hawkeye ignored them and kept his eyes closed. "Pierce..." They kicked him harder. "We'd like to get going, and I'm not about to fish in your pocket for the car keys." Hawkeye heard that and opened his eyes to see Charles standing over him.
"Hmm..." He moaned, looking bleary eyed at the taller and more robust man.
"Keys?" Charles held out his hand, gesturing to his pocket.
"What?" Hawkeye yawned.
"We're leaving Pierce. If you want to stay here, be my guest, but the rest of us would like to get home."
Hawkeye looked around. Everything was just about packed and being carried up to the car, except for the blanket he had fallen asleep. "How long was I out for?" He stood up and picked up the throw.
"Two hours," Charles told him.
"What?"
"You'd think you hadn't slept the night before," Charles added before walking up the trail. Margaret and Trapper met them when they reached the parking lot.
"Have a nice nap?" Trapper asked.
"Was I really asleep for two hours?" Hawkeye couldn't believe he had slept that long.
"Yeah," Trapper patted his back.
"I don't even remember lying down."
"Well you know Pierce," Margaret cut in as she climbed into the car. "He loves his sleep." Trapper chuckled, as did Father Mulcahy and Charles, who were already in the car.
"Yeah..." Hawkeye trailed off. He hadn't had a good night sleep in such a long time. He'd give anything to sleep ten hours in a row.
"Now you're going to be up all night," Father Mulcahy commented.
"You don't know how right you are..." Hawkeye said lowly so no one else could hear.
"What was that?" Everyone knew the good Father couldn't hear very well. He scooted closer and cupped his ear.
"I hope not!" Hawk shouted louder.
"Oh," he nodded.
Margaret starred at him, she had heard what he said, even if no one else had. She suspected that he hadn't gone to bed even when she told him to. Now he had an insomnia problem? If only she could have some real time alone with him. They needed to get to know one another and just be together. How were they supposed to do that when everyone else surrounded them?
It was a rather quiet ride back to the Hunnicutt house. Everyone was tired after a busy day and half asleep. Margaret and Hawkeye however, were each thinking about the other. They wanted to be together to talk and kiss and touch. Hawkeye wanted to tell her what was going on, why he was probably coming off as very strange, and everything he was feeling. None of that would happen however for a very long time, he and Trapper were driving back to New England and she was flying back to Boston with Charles. There wasn't any way of getting her in the car without someone or everyone finding out about them.
Hawkeye parked the car in the driveway behind the others. It was seven O'clock, people had to pack, tomorrow everyone was going home. He felt a slight pang in his heart, he'd be leaving his friends and most importantly, Margaret.
"Coming?" She asked him, he was the only one left out side besides her.
"Yeah." He was feeling a little distraught.
"Are you okay?" She stood beside his door.
"We're leaving tomorrow."
"I know. I'm sad about it too." She rubbed his shoulder.
"What about us?" He looked up at her.
"As soon as you get home, I promise we'll see each other."
"That's two weeks away," he said sadly.
"I know." She didn't want to be separated from him that long either, but it was sure better than a year. Margaret had inched her way down a little bit so she was resting on the door. Their faces were rather close now as he looked into her eyes.
They were just about to kiss when Margaret said, "I don't think we should be doing this. Someone could see."
"I know." His eyes were begging, but he knew it too.
Margaret pulled back before something happened. "Will I see you inside?" She gripped his shoulder discretely and gave it a loving squeeze.
"Yeah, I'll be in soon." He patted her hand.
"Okay," she left him and walked back to the house.
Hawkeye sat in the driver's seat and watched her until he was positive she was inside. When he was sure she wasn't coming back, he reached across the car and popped open the glove compartment. He pulled out the bottle he had expected to find, along with something he hadn't been planning on. The map fell onto the floor with a thud, causing a look of dread to spread across his face.
With a look of dismay he sat back in his seat. He could just picture what she had been thinking when she opened the compartment. With a feeling of trepidation, he unscrewed the top of the bottle and poured two small pills into his hand, suddenly the pain in his stomach had just doubled.
"Hey, what happened to you?" BJ asked when he finally walked into the house. A few people were in the dining room and kitchen making plans to leave the next day.
"I had to check the tire pressure for tomorrow," Hawkeye said while looking around the room. Potter was on the phone talking with the airlines while the Klingers and O'Reillys were going over flight plans. "Where is everyone else?"
"Packing," BJ answered simply.
"Ah."
"Are you ready to go?"
"Just have to throw my junk in the back and leave."
"Glad to hear it."
The two men turned to look at each other. "You guys are going to have to come out sometime," Hawkeye said.
"I think that would be nice, I'd love to visit Crabapple Cove," he smiled. The two men talked for a little longer, they hadn't had much time to chat the whole weekend.
"Well," Colonel Potter got off the phone. "Everything's set for tomorrow."
"Good to hear," Mildred commented. "We take off at eight thirty."
"Alright, so now we just need to pack." Together the couple headed up the stairs.
"You want something to drink?" BJ headed to the refrigerator.
"Um...I'll just have a glass of water."
"You don't want a scotch?" BJ asked.
"No. Water's fine." Hawkeye sat down at the table, opposite of the other couples. They were all discussing flight numbers and times.
Just than the phone rang, disrupting the noise of chatter. BJ walked back into the dining room and set Hawkeye's water on the table. He picked up the phone off the hook, "Hello?" Hawkeye took a sip and set the glass back down. He wasn't looking forward to driving back to Maine, he just wanted to get home. "Hawk..." BJ was speaking to him.
Hawkeye looked at him, "Hmm..."
"Where's Trapper?"
"Out back I'm guessing."
"Could you go get him? Tell him his wife is on the phone."
"Sure," Hawkeye stood up and walked to the back door. He called the other man inside, telling him that Louise was on the phone. Trapper followed him back into the kitchen and took the handset from BJ. "What was that about?" Hawkeye asked as BJ sat beside him.
"I don't know. She just told me to get him, I think it sounded urgent."
"Hmm...I wonder what that's about."
"Well, we'll see won't we?"
Margaret walked back into the dining room and sat down beside the two men. "What's going on?" She whispered. BJ and Hawkeye shrugged their shoulders.
Trapper was huddled in the corner over by the phone, he had one finger in his ear. "Louise, I can't here you. Where are you?...The hospital? Wha...You're kidding...Dear God...What happened?...Well is...are they all right?...Are you all right?...No, I can't...I'm...no..." He slumped his shoulders and let the earpiece fall away from his ear for a second.
"Trapp?" Hawkeye stood up, "What's wrong." His friend was in obvious distress.
Trapper held out his hand to Hawkeye, causing him to halt and brought the phone back up to his ear. "What?...You're going where?...Louise..Louise!..." Reluctantly he hung up the phone. He turned to face the others, they had all heard the commotion. "They were in an accident on the way home. Louise is fine, she just bumped her head and strained her neck, but the girls...Becky ruptured her spleen and Kathy broke her leg," Trapper said rather weakly.
"Aww, Trap," Hawkeye put his hands on his friend's shoulders. Trapper put a hand on the wall to brace himself.
"Oh, how terrible," Margaret exclaimed with a gasp. The whole room let out a sound of sympathy.
"Yeah, and the worst part is," Trapper let his hands flail. "It's going to take us two weeks to get back to Boston." He slumped his head dejectedly. Margaret stood up and put her arms around him, pulling him into a tight embrace. Trapper hugged her back, he needed something to hang onto.
"Everything is going to be just fine," she told him in a soothing voice. Hawkeye smiled, he loved it when she talked like that, he even felt better hearing it.
"Two weeks..." Trapper muttered.
"Well guess what, I have a solution to your problem."
Trapper lifted his head, "What are you talking about?"
"I want you to take my plane ticket and fly back to Boston," she told him. "Pierce was planning on driving there anyway, I'll ride back with him."
Hawkeye's eyes widened in surprise. "No Margaret, I couldn't do that to you." Trapper shook his head.
"No, please. I want you to take it. Go home and see your daughters, they need you."
"But...but what about your job? Aren't they expecting you back at work?"
"I have some leave time I need to take, that won't be a problem, what do you say?" She smiled with a tilt of her head.
Trapper looked at her, he never would have believed that Margaret Houlihan would do something like that for him. "Thank you Margaret." They pulled into another hug, "Thank you so much."
So it was settled then, Trapper was going to fly back to Boston with Charles while Margaret and Hawkeye drove. Neither minded at all, in fact, they were both very happy. "I can't believe you did that," Hawkeye whispered to her later on that night. They were both sitting at the table looking over the map.
"Well his family needs him," she told him while leaning on her elbows.
"I know, but you were awfully quick to offer your ticket. Are you sure you can last being in a car with me for two weeks, night and day?"
"That's something we need to talk about," she turned to face him a little better.
"You want the car all to yourself?" He asked.
"No. I heard that you guys drove strait through, I can't do that. We're going to have to stop at a motel to sleep." Her voice was very soft. She didn't want anyone to hear.
Hawkeye raised his eyebrows, he nodded as a sign that he understood. "I think we can do that."
Margaret smiled, "Good, because I'm not anything without my sleep. Speaking of which," she stood up. "I'm going to bed, we're getting up early." She walked around his chair and paused before quickly looking around the room and then leaning over and lightly kissing him. "Promise me you'll try and go to sleep." Margaret grabbed the collar of his shirt.
"I promise," he told her.
"Good," she smiled and let him go.
He squeezed her hand. "Sleep well."
