(Sequel to Winner)

Drabble Six: Loser

One month had spanned to two months of absolute torture to Ed from Roy with smirks. Living with the man was fine, Roy cooked, didn't mind the books, let Ed sleep on the couch, didn't talk much and didn't seem to expect much. Probably because everyday he would force Ed to wear the mini-skirt edition of the military uniform, cat ears and two gold bands on each ring finger. How did the Colonel manage to get Ed to do this?

Blackmail.

"It's this, or you can go work things out with Winry and Al." Roy would say with a smirk. Ed would be furious, but would shakily snatch the things from Roy and storm into the bathroom to put it all on.

It had been going on for far too long now, though. Ed was going crazy, his reputation was completely shot down and kicked until it not only stopped twitching and bleeding and breathing, but a few more times for good measure. It. Was. Torture. That. HAD. To. Stop.

Edward, not sleeping well as of late anyways, decided one night to get revenge on Roy for this abuse. He formed a plot as soon as the older went to sleep, and made a phone call or two to make sure things went according to plan.

In the morning, Ed acted as annoyed as usual about his chosen out, and Roy didn't really suspect anything. Or so Ed thought, not knowing that Roy had sleeping difficulties as well, and had heard his little phone calls. The one to Al and Winry and the one to Riza. Yes, Roy knew something was up. Unfortunately, the calls had been a bit vague so Roy wasn't sure exactly WHAT.

He didn't really care. He his plan had worked, Ed had confronted Al and Winry. They were even stopping by in the afternoon. Roy felt secretly accomplished. Not only did he get to torture Ed for a good reason for two whole months, but he also got to live with the boy and get the shorty's life back to being a bit more enjoyable. Even if he did take the long route on that last one.

So Roy was calm through the day, did his job as usual, didn't mind when Riza would sometimes glance up at him as if he was acting odd. She was in on the plan, she probably just wondered if he knew. The day was going fairly normally for Mustang's crew. Ed, having not been aloud to do anything while under Roy's watch, sat leaning against the Colonel's desk reading up on some sort of Alchemy, ten to one at least. Yup, just another paper day at the office.

Boring as hell. Roy finally admitted to himself. Maybe he should go out for an early lunch. He looked to the clock, realizing it was about eleven thirty. Yes, lunch would come early today. He would leave Ed at his desk today though, he wanted to buy the boy a leash and collar to enjoy for the last little while he had the boy in his clutches. Then when Al and Winry showed he could be very, very cocky. Not just very cocky, as he had originally planned, no. Very, very cocky.

Once back from lunch Roy hooked the collar around Ed's neck, clipped the leash to it and put the handle of the leash around his chair arm before getting back to work. Ed ignored him.

Around three was when Winry and Al showed. Winry was letting herself go, Roy commented to himself before remembering she was about four or five months pregnant now. He looked up at them with a bored expression, waiting for an explanation.

"Hello Colonel Mustang." Al said cheerfully, as usual.

"Good afternoon Alphonse, Winry." Roy said with little expression. "Come to speak to Fullmetal? Because you have to ask me first."

"Oh, we're here to talk to you, actually." Al smiled. Of course, Roy mused.

"Yeah, stop treating Ed like a dog!" Winry huffed.

"Actually, we just ask you take good care of brother." Al said rather quickly. "Since you two are living together and get along so well and such."

"You two have been getting awfully close." Riza added. Roy laughed inwardly. Was this as good as Fullmetal could do? Make all his sick dreams reality?

Ed shot up, choking, readjusting his collar and then glaring at the three.

"I SAID GIVE HIM THE PARCEL!" Ed yelled. Al blinked.

"Oh, right, and brother sends you this. He had me pick it up since he's been so occupied with you." Al smiled, handing Roy the gift. Ah, so it was probably actually Riza behind this scheme. She was smart enough to figure out Ed's plan and turn it into a confession. Darn, now there was no knowing what Ed really thought. Though knowing Riza, Ed had previously confronted in her, or she had figured it out, and was now twisting his revenge plot for the "better". Or more of, to get more work done, seeing as Ed had been useless for awhile now and Roy hadn't been great recently either.

Roy took the package, unwrapped it and stared at it's contents.

"Why Fullmetal, how did you know?" Roy asked in a sarcastic tone. Ed gaped.

"I DIDN'T." Ed yelled, then went to stomp off, only to get choked again and fall flat on his butt. Roy chuckled, watching as Ed got back to his feet, grabbed the leash and started dragging Roy's chair out with him. Roy laughed the whole way, getting quite a few looks.

Halfway to wherever they were going, Ed realized he didn't know where they were going and stopped. Why had he bothered to drag the Colonel so far anyways? He looked back at the raven-haired man, who was looking across the street with a smug look. Ed glanced in the general direction Roy gazed, not seeing anything of interest.

"So I guess Al didn't completely win." Ed said, more to himself than Roy. Roy blinked, looking at the blonde. "Though I did completely lose."

Roy smirked, pulling on Ed's leash to bring the boy closer, pressing their lips together for only a second before unhooking Ed and standing.

"It's been real. I expect my chair or a proper replacement back behind my desk by morning." Roy stood, then walked off in the direction of his home, in no mood to go back to work today.

Ed paused, looking down at himself. Finally he was free.

Wait.

"YOU HAVE MY CLOTHES!" Ed yelled, running after the Colonel. Hook, line and sinker, Roy chuckled to himself.

End drabble six.

My cats are typing something in the hallway, I swear. They're probably planning world domination.