Something about Vegas
Confusion
His eyes flickered open slowly. Facing the window with the partially open drapes, he squinted in the harsh morning glare. It was oppressively hot in the room and had been all night. The air was stale and thick with humidity, his body slick with sweat. He heard a persistent clinking sound and it took him a moment to realize it was coming from the air conditioner and the sound, along with the stifling heat, could only mean that it still wasn't working properly.
Stretching out his back as best he could in the cramped space, he bit back a groan so that he wouldn't wake the blonde asleep in his arms. This might just be the most uncomfortable mattress he had ever slept on, he thought, which would account for his aching back this morning. The two of them ended up sleeping in the middle of it, where it sagged the most under their combined weight. Calleigh, however, seemed oblivious to the discomfort or the heat and continued to sleep peacefully in his embrace.
Her head was tucked under his chin, her legs tangled with his and her arm was draped across his chest. Despite the less than agreeable surroundings they found themselves in, as well as the confusion surrounding their current relationship, he liked waking up with her in his arms. 'I could get used to this,' he mused, allowing a rare smile to play on his lips for a moment.
She squirmed in her sleep, pressing further into him and in response he tightened the hold he had on her waist. He yawned, feeling as tired as he did when they had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep last night. He glanced in the direction of the night stand clock and while straining to make out the numbers, he wondered exactly how much, or how little, sleep they actually got. Chuckling silently, he thought to himself that if he and Calleigh continued sleeping together, they were going to have to work on the actual sleeping part. His demeanor changed a moment later when he realized the likelihood of that ever happening again. They should have avoided sleeping together last night and would have if either of them had been thinking clearly or thinking at all.
It was difficult to say for certain why they hadn't used their heads last night. Obviously sharing a bed had been a mistake, but how was he to know the motel room would have only one bed in it? He never thought to ask, he just assumed all rooms came with two beds. Without a doubt, he knew that even sharing a bed with Calleigh, he never would have touched her if she hadn't kissed him quite the way she had. Even though the close proximity to her was likely to kill him, he never would have made an advance without her consent. She had been quite clear about not wanting to sleep with him again and his intention was to respect her wishes. Now he was afraid she would end up hating him when she woke. That realization made him groan and this time he was unable to stop it from escaping from his lips.
In retrospect, he probably shouldn't have accompanied her on this road trip she insisted on making. She proclaimed it was to avoid flying, although he suspected it was a bit more complicated than that. He understood she didn't want or need him with her, but that couldn't be helped, for there was no way he was going to let her make this drive on her own. She was stuck with him till they got home. He'd worry too much about her, no matter how capable she was, or sometimes just thought she was. She had grudgingly accepted his company yesterday, but it wasn't supposed to include sharing a bed.
His mind turned over memories of their night together. When she kissed him there was no mistaking her intent, nor his, when he kissed her back. What changed her mind? he asked himself hoping for an answer, but came up empty.
All day long they had danced around each other, tentative, awkward, uncomfortable, each uncertain how to behave around the other. He stole a quick glance at her hand, she still had her ring on, as did he, but he had no idea why. The relationship they once shared, as friends and colleagues, no longer existed, since they had crossed all previously existing boundaries. Even if they could recover from simply getting drunk and sleeping together on a whim, they'd gone and gotten married! He still didn't know what to make of that, let alone how to recover from it.
Their new relationship, as husband and wife, wasn't one they admitted they even wanted. Hell, when he thought about it, he realized they had avoided talking about it completely. Yesterday, he assumed it would be something they quickly dissolved when they got back to Miami. He certainly wouldn't blame her for wanting to put the whole thing behind her, he just wasn't sure that was what he wanted anymore. But what did he want?
The only thing he knew unquestionably, was that the more time he spent with her, the more he wanted to be with her. Which left him wondering, was marrying her that night just an act of drunken lunacy, or was there something else going on? That was neither here nor there he supposed, right now they needed to deal with the morning after, or more accurately, another morning after. If alcohol fueled their decisions in Vegas, last night was fueled by something else entirely.
Perhaps this was just a physical thing between them. That would explain a lot. Last night they were both hot and sweaty, having trouble sleeping and the obvious crucial detail, they were already sharing a bed. They were simply reacting to the electrifying tension that had circulated around them all day. It hadn't taken much to ignite their latent passion and once lit, it burned red hot. Their lovemaking had had a frantic urgency to it, different than it had been the night before, but just as amazing and even more satisfying.
Still, he asked himself, was there really nothing more between them than a physical connection? He thought there might be something deeper, something that went beyond friendship, longing, or physical proximity. She was just so open to him, present in a way she had never been before and not just because they were naked in bed. But maybe he was guilty of reading too much into their night together. Her words and actions during the day gave him one message, her behavior last night, another.
He was at a loss and now he couldn't predict how she was going to react this morning. He didn't want her to be embarrassed if she had regrets about last night, that would be uncomfortable for both of them. After giving it some thought, he decided it would be best if he left and she wouldn't have to face him and their mistake when she woke. They wouldn't even have to talk about it if she didn't want to.
Why did everything with Calleigh have to be fraught with such conflict? Even the simplest decision was no longer simple when you were naked in bed with someone you wanted to be with, but you didn't know if they felt the same. Maybe he should have rethought that opportunity about presenting his paper in Vegas, a place he wasn't too fond of in the first place.
'What is it about that place?' he asked himself. 'People do crazy things in Vegas, who knew I would, too?'
Decision made, he carefully extricated himself from Calleigh without waking her and covered her with the sheet, even though it was as hot as hell in the room. He watched her sleep for a moment, disappointed they wouldn't wake together, but it was for the best. Quickly grabbing his stuff, he padded into the bathroom, turned the shower knob to cold and gratefully let the forceful spray numb him.
Showered and dressed, he quietly took the room key and made his way outside. The coffee shop was an easy walk from the motel, which in the light of day was even more rundown and desolate than it looked last night. He decided to grab coffee, a paper and something for Calleigh after he finished checking out. The place was dingy, but the manager was an amiable gentleman, genuinely grateful for their business. He spent a long time detailing, for Tim, the region's weather forecast, which included severe thunderstorm warnings and tornado watches.
"Just look at that sky," the manager told Tim, "it's not a day for undertaking a long drive." Tim looked outdoors, it did indeed look foreboding, but they had no choice, they had to get on the road. He assured the man they would be fine, said 'goodbye' and headed for the coffee shop. He looked at the storm clouds looming large and sighed heavily.
"Shit," he said aloud. "Nothing about this trip is going to be easy."
He got his coffee and made a gallant attempt to fix her tea the way she liked it. He wondered if he brewed it too long, then he wondered how and why he knew what she liked. He wandered back to the room, inserted the key and quietly went inside.
She was sitting up in bed, wearing her tank top, the one he had removed and tossed last night. Unable to see her expression, he had no clue what she was thinking.
"Hey," he said simply. She turned toward him, subdued and pensive, not at all how he expected her to be, but then he didn't know what to expect. He handed her the tea which she accepted, regarding him cautiously. "I hope it's OK," he added.
"Thanks," she said softly. She took a sip and winced at the taste, but swallowed it anyway.
"Sorry, I may have let the bag sit in the water too long. Need more sugar?" he offered from his spot across the room. She shook her head and took another sip, this time without making a face.
He wanted to explain that he hadn't deserted her this morning, that he was only thinking of what was best for her, but realized it might look to her eyes like leaving was what was best for him. She sat sipping the tea, unsmiling and distant. He wanted to reach out to her, but he knew that wasn't the wisest move. One of the things he knew about Calleigh was that she could only be reached when she opened the door and right now, the door was firmly closed. They had been sleeping together the past two nights, but hadn't been dating prior to that. They had gotten married, but he wasn't sure if they were still friends. They were traveling together, but weren't really talking. It was just too complicated. He watched her and wished she would say something.
"Should I be apologizing to you?" she asked and looked at him pointedly, but gave nothing away with her expression, her face a blank.
Jarred from his reverie, he hadn't realized she was talking to him and had no idea how long he had been lost in thought. "What?" he questioned.
"I said, should I be apologizing to you?" she repeated, her voice now sounding stressed.
"For what?" It never occurred to him that she would think he needed an apology, she did nothing wrong, he was confused.
"Never mind. I'm going to get ready, I'll be but a minute," she informed him, her voice curt. Like a shot, she zipped into the bathroom with her bag and he was left staring at the closed door.
'I'm the one who probably should apologize. Could this get any more confusing?' he asked himself.
tbc
