Something About Vegas
Questions
Hands full, Calleigh placed the beverage cups on the floor, the brochures under her arm and inserted the key into the lock, hoping to get inside before Tim woke. She knew what it felt like to be left alone in the morning and not know why. It hurt, a lot more than she expected it to and she didn't want to do that to him. Fumbling her first attempt, she dropped all of her papers, but managed to get the door opened on the second try and quietly made her way inside, after gathering up all her stuff.
She breathed a sigh of relief, he was still asleep and she smiled automatically at the sight of him. He would probably grouse about the fact that he was still sleeping while she was already awake and out of bed, but he was exhausted and needed the rest. She could see the fatigue on his face, even though he'd never admit to it. He hadn't exactly gotten a lot of sleep the past few nights and she knew she was the reason why.
She padded over to the bed, placed the cups on the night stand and crawled over to the spot she had vacated a short while ago, careful not to disturb him. The plan had been for both of them to sleep in, then hit the road, but she woke early, full of energy and as much as she wanted to stay under the covers with him, she was too awake to lie still. It was better to get up rather than risk waking him. After all, she had a day to plan. Tim didn't know it yet, but those plans didn't involve heading out of Kansas.
Watching him sleep, it took all of her restraint not to reach over and caress his stubbled cheek, or wind her fingers in his messy hair, but she knew he'd wake in an instant at her touch, so she held off. She sighed deeply, memories of last night filling her head. Her life had changed profoundly, unexpectedly and maybe, irrevocably, due to this man and she wondered if she had finally given up trying to fight it. Holding her hand up, she examined the simple gold band on her ring finger, remembered the night he had put it there and realized she was now unwilling to remove it.
That was a revelation she couldn't quite believe. She thought about marriage sometimes, but had begun to think she was married to her job and would never be willing to make the necessary sacrifices marriage and family would call for. There was also the little detail of first needing to let someone get close enough to even begin to entertain the notion of a serious relationship. Trusting others was difficult for her to do. It was easier to keep people at a distance rather than risk being hurt. At an early age, she learned to rely on herself instead of counting on others. Keeping her guard up was second nature, or at least it was until Tim came along and in one night began to break down the walls she had built around herself.
Calleigh never planned to have a serious, romantic relationship with anyone she worked with. As far as she was concerned, even casual dating was out. Once in the past, she dated someone from work and it ended badly, which made future working together uncomfortable for both parties. She wanted to avoid repeating that mistake in the future, her job was stressful enough without the added tension. It was better all around to keep her personal and professional lives completely separate.
So how could she explain the unexpected ring on her finger from the coworker she was currently sharing a bed with? Someone she was beginning to think she wanted permanently by her side. Someone she let get close. Someone she now trusted unequivocally.
She couldn't explain it. She simply couldn't.
It was difficult for her to comprehend any of her recent behavior, for it was completely at odds with the way she normally proceeded through her life. It was as if the emotions and desires she normally repressed had rebelled and sought freedom, leaving her with no options but to give in to them or go back to the way things were. More and more she realized the way things were, was no longer what she wanted. Letting him in felt good. Allowing him to get close to her, felt even better. He made her think about what her life was missing, what she could have if she was willing to take a chance. What she wanted was him.
She had proven, over the past couple days, to have very little willpower when it came to Tim. It was startling for one so used to being in control of every action, every emotion. The feelings she had developed for him over the last couple of days threatened to overwhelm her with their intensity, which certainly made her curious about how long they'd been lurking about in her subconscious in the first place. That was a question for another day, the more pressing question was what to do with them now that they were out.
Did they truly belong together? They had plunged headfirst into a relationship they were completely unprepared for and with little regard for the consequences. It could easily fall apart and then where would they be? The fact that they worked together was an additional complication they hadn't considered. It was impossible not to think of everything that could go wrong and how much it would hurt when it did.
Getting married had been a surprise, something neither expected or desired before that night. There was simply no way that this could work out. No way. Except, that maybe it could and maybe they both wanted it to. And that was the biggest surprise of all.
tbc
