Title: The Unofficial Hogwarts Student Journal

Author: P.L.S.

Rating: Eh, I'm saying Mild to Medium Store Brand Salsa

Disclaimer: I do not own the ideas and well everything taken from the Harry Potter Books and Movies.

Summery: Lillian Dursley is a typical wizard's kid, who happens to take after her father (a hippogriff-sun bull breeder and the Man-Who-Killed-Voldemort.) Her best friends are the techno-geeky Weasley Triplets, Professor Hagrid, and her hippocampi. This is her and her friends' version of their story. Of course, if you talk to Deputy Headmaster Snape he'll tell you a whole different story which actually seems to be the truth.

(Chapter Two- Irreparable Plot Twisting)

'Maybe it wasn't a good idea to get picked so early on for the house team', Lil
thought as Patrick Olivander carried her up to the hospital wing. It
was only the first game of the season, and she had become seeker just
a month ago. Now she had been bludgeoned by the bludgers but still won
the game. She caught the snitch in her mouth on the way down, after
she fell from her broom. Dizzy, she blacked out as the warm air of
the castle wrapped around her.

When she came to, her dad and the triplets were around her bed.
Stormcloud, her dad's best racing hippogriff was standing by an open
window.

"Hey, Daddy." she said softly.

"Hey, Sweetheart. The trio flooed me, and I just had to get here as
soon as I could. Your mum wanted to come but Freyja has a bad
illness. I don't think the matron knows I'm here yet." he said with a
light chuckle.

"Yeah? Thanks, guys. I'm super happy you got my dad here." said Lil
and all three looked embarrassed.

"It was nothing." Ryan started.

"Yeh, we know yeh'd do th' same fer us." said Brian.

"True. Besides, you won the bloody game, you earned gettin' ta see
yer da." said Brad. Lil's dad laughed.

"They recorded your first match and sent it over, I watched while
Stormy flew. You are really more like me than I thought." said the
grinning man, "Did I tell you about my first quidditch match ever?"

"No. Are you going to, or are you going to tease me?" asked Lil.

"My broom was hexed and as I fell I caught the snitch in exactly the
same manner." said her dad and they both laughed. She knew her dad
had been a first year too, but she didn't know that.

"Family curse?" asked Lil. The triplets all laughed with the two
Dursleys. They knew who her father was, but now she was amazed that
they really acted like it was normal.

"Ah, I thought she was yours, Mr. Potter." said a very familiar voice
from the shadows. Professor Snape left them and Lil's dad smiled at
him.

"Wonderful to see you again sir. How is everything?" asked the
hippogriff breeder.

"As well as it ever is, Mr. Harry Potter, or is it Mr. Dursley?"
asked Professor Snape.

"Jim Dursley, that's Stormcloud, one of the finest hippogriffs you'll
ever meet." he nodded to Stormcloud who was now laying on a bed,
looking bored. Snape nodded to the beast who nodded back.

"I'm sure Poppy will be ecstatic to see that image. And I'm sure that
there are hundreds who would be ecstatic to know that the Boy-Who-
Lived has a family now." Lil's dad looked worried.

"Eh, I'm hoping you can sit on this, sir. Lil really doesn't deserve
that, does she?" Lil's dad laughed nervously. Snape smirked.

"Ever the reluctant hero, eh Potter? Never the less, I have seen to
it that not a connection has been made." Snape said.

"Really? Wonderful to have our favorite professor in on the
conspiracy, right Lil?" asked Ryan, Lil grinned.

"Yes. I told you it was a good idea not to even try to bug his
office." she said and both adults looked shocked as the boys agreed.

"You are bugging offices?" asked Lil's dad, "How? Electrical items
don't work here."

"Well, guys this is your secret." said Lil. The boys nodded.

"Ma, she created a charm," started Brian.

"Or seven that alter muggle devices to run on the same stuff that our
magic uses." said Brad.

"Right brilliant too." said Ryan, "We brought a bunch of stuff that
we charmed, and some of them are bugs, Mr. Dursley. Professor, please
don't write Ma. She really doesn't need to know about them."

"True, and our Ma is right scary."

"What with the encyclopedia of curses that's in her head,"

"The major sadistic streak that she harbors,"

"And that mouth,"

"Oh yeah, that too."

"Aye, once her yells at us were heard all the way across London."

"Imagine that amplified by a howler."

"Oh, dear God, don't think such thoughts."

"Too late."

"Then there's Da, he'd just confiscate all our hard work."

"Turn it over to one of the MLE's,"

"Who might be interested in our work,"

"But since we're underage, and Ma and Da both work for the Ministry,"

"True, we'd get no credit,"

"Or pay."

"That too."

They stopped the eerie three way conversation as Lil's dad
laughed, "Oh, my. You three truly are just like your uncles. Fred
and George, they used to talk like that all the time." The triplets
looked surprised.

"How?" asked Ryan.

"Oh, I went to school with them, your Uncle Percy, and Aunt Virginia.
Oh, and your Mum and Dad." said Lil's dad.

"You did know that your mother and father were Mr. Potter's best
friends for all seven years at Hogwarts?" Snape asked the triplets.

"Nope, Ma and Da never said a blooming word." said Brian.

"Yeah, tight lipped and all that." said Ryan.

"Aye, yeh'd think tha Hogwarts was part of their pre-Auror training,
for all they talk about it." said Brad. Lil's dad frowned.

"Really? Geez, I used to make Lilsy's bedtime stories up based on
this place." he said.

"Yes, like the one about your friend's dad's flying car that still
lives in the Forest and how you guys flew to here in it and crashed
into the whomping willow?" asked Lil.

"Yes. Only it seemed like the tree crashed into us." said Lil's dad
with a rueful smile. Snape glared at him and he grinned, "Don't you
guys ever do anything stupid like that, try to land on the lawn
instead." he added the last bit with a wink.

"Mr. Potter." growled out Snape.

"What? I'm only doing as my dad would have done for me."

"Encouraging my students to break rules as carelessly as you and your
father once did is not something I will condone." the teacher snapped
at the former student.

"It's not like I'm giving them my old cloak, map, or other tools. You
have to admit, I've been pretty good about that." Lil's dad said.

"And you're not planning on coaching them to become illegal animagi,
legelimancers, or whatever else you got up to?" asked Snape and Lil's
dad looked thoughtful.

"You know I hadn't even thought of that, but Patty would be the best
teacher for the animagi thing. And you know you were a wonderful
legelmancy and occlumancy teacher, maybe I could pass on those tricks
to this generation." said Lil's dad with a smirk.

"He taught you the legelmens stuff?" asked Lil and as her dad nodded
she scowled at the professor, "So it's your fault that I could never
prank Daddy!" she accused.

"So you both kin read our minds?" asked Brian, and both nodded.

"Oh, so no wonder you knew about camera 3. You totally made us have
to scrap a month of observation in that corridor." said Brad.

--

Lil, bored and ready to fall asleep, kicked Ryan who gave her a
questioning look. 'You wanna sneak out of DADA?' she mouthed to him.
Brian was in the hospital wing with a really bad flu, and Brad just
plain skipped class to rework a few last bits of his code for his new
program that would get them an internet connection, so they could
start the 'Un-Official Hogwarts Student Journal' web page.

Ryan nodded and looked up at Professor Davies, who was talking in
monotone about some really dull creature called a Red Cap. Ryan
already gave her, Brian, and Brad a rundown on what the textbook
covered, so they all were safe during exams. Together they ducked
under the table they shared and cast disillusionment charms on each
other. Nearly invisible, they crept out of the room, down the hall,
and started to go under a tapestry which was a short-cut towards the
Gryffindor Tower entry.

Lil was glad that she now shared the dorm with the triplets. There
were seven girls sorted into Gryffindor with her, and she didn't
enjoy being around the gossips. But with the boys, she felt more at
home and part of something big. Luckily, Professor Rogers, their
head of house and the Muggle Studies teacher, was oblivious to the
new arrangement. The other first year girls kept silent about it
because it meant more room for them, and less danger of unwittingly
testing pranks for the quartet of mischief-makers.

As they went to their room they heard the telltale sounds of Brad's
victory cheer.

Opening the door, Brad assaulted both with bear hugs and chatter about
how fast the connection turned out and how soon he wanted the first
edition of the UOHSJ out and ready to read.

"Oh, and I asked Ma for four PDA's to mess around with, to see if I
could figure out how to get them to use magic. Brunhilda, just
brought them, and I finished the last charm. All three are wireless
and connected to each other and the PC." He drug them in and put a
small rather flat black box in both of his roommate's hands. "I dub
thee, Un-Official Hogwarts Student Journal reporters and newsmakers."
he said goofily. Lil watched as Ryan turned on his and pulled the
stylus out of the side.

"They use graffiti, that writing style we taught you." said Ryan as
he started to write. Lil followed his example and was soon over the
moon about how easy it was for her how that she knew the way to write
and knew the basics of how to use a computer.

--

November 15th, 2015

THE UNOFFICIAL HOGWARTS STUDENT JOURNAL

PROFESSOR HAGRID STRIKES AGAIN!

On Monday, in the fourth form combined Ravenclaw/Slytherin class it
was reveled that the glowing furred arachnid with a fire crab shell
and scorpion tail is none other than a successful hybrid of a
manicore/re-em hybrid and a fire crab/mackled malaclaw (for more
information on the creatures, see the FANSTATIC BEASTS LEXICON
(www. uohsj. uk. edu/ resources/ fbeasts /index. htm) or your copy of
Fanstastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander.) This new
breed of beast is lovingly called by the professor a Golden
Acrostation and has yet to be determined if this creature will indeed
breed new generations of it's kind. The tail holds a poison that not
only is a neurotoxin, but a acidic substance as well. The beast also
breathes fire and has herd instincts which makes it a rather deadly
beast to get angry. Fortunately the monstrous beast is a vegetarian
and once you get in the alpha female's good graces, the herd will
protect you as well.

If one could tame the creature, or at least teach it to follow
commands, the Golden Acrostation could become useful in magical law
enforcement and in the guarding of dangerous criminals or goods that
would be targets for theft. Until then it is suggested that one keep
away from the new creature, unless you are in Professor Hagrid's
fourth form classes, where you will be spending the year raising the
monsters. Good luck, and Professor Hagrid wants the Journal to remind
all fourth formers to bring their dragon hide gloves and their notes
from last class.

BWW

HIGHLIGHTS FROM HOGWARTS, A HISTORY

As every student knows our home away from home has a mind of it's
own, but is the castle sentient? When the foundations were first
laid, a curse was placed on the stones to render the building useless
to the four founders by a rather irate French wizard who lost a bet
to Slytherin on a Stichstock game (more on Slytherin's gambling
addiction in the next issue.) Ravenclaw was the one to salvage the
project by appeasing the foundations with a sacrifice of two winged
boars (now an extinct creature.) The two boars are represented now
at the front gates and welcome all who come to the school.

The castle was built quicker than was planned and two years after the
school was first opened the first staircase moved. Over the years the
castle has slowly grown more prone to change, i.e, doors hiding as
walls, walls pretending to be doors, staircases switching about,
rooms that only appear at certain hours, and so forth. One room even
responds to what the person entering needs at that moment. There are
even a few hints through history that shows the castle altering
itself completely in order to protect the students in times of need.
Several accounts give examples of gargoyles coming to life to save a
student outside of the castle walls, and still more tell of getting
feelings and emotions while in a corner or by a wall, feelings that
aren't their own.

Is the castle a thinker as well as a place to learn?

RAW