Author's Note: Only change made to the line-up is that Victoria is now a queen.

Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

After The Jellicle Ball

Chapter Seven: Fear

Morning smiles

like the face of a newborn child innocent unknowing

Winter's end promises of a long lost friend

speaks to me of comfort

but I fear

I have nothing to give

I have so much to lose...

The Annual Jellicle Ball was over. It had gone almost smoothly, but strange things occurred and uninvited guests seemed to enjoy happening about whenever they thought it fit. In the end both were dealt with, the most unnerving unwanted guest of course being Macavity, his plan had almost worked, but in the end it hadn't been enough to get what he wanted the most. In the end good won over evil. However most of the tribe figured that The Hidden Paw was still out there and of course still wanted and at large.

Demeter and Bombalurina had to stand and watch as their Mother, Grizabella The Glamour Cat became the chosen Jellicle to see the wonders of the Heavyside Lair and Jemima discovered who her Grandmother was and after it was all said and done her quote death took the hardest toll on the kitten, she had felt such a connection to the old once beautiful queen and when she was told who that queen was... it was to late for anything. For everything. With this revelation more resentment began to cloud her mind and heart because of a lot of things she didn't understand and the fact no one, not even her own Mother had tried to explain them to her.

Another cat had watched in the shadows as Grizabella left the world to one day be reborn. Her eldest daughter Griddlebone. Unlike Demeter and Bombalurina, Griddle held no remorse or affection for her mother. It was her fault that she turned out as she had and it hurt her that her two younger sisters didn't even know they had an older sister, or that Jemima and Plato had another aunt. It hurt deep, but there was always Macavity wasn't there? Not really. Deep down Griddlebone knew all she was to her Boss was a whore, a means of curing his boredom and lusts towards Demeter. The one queen he could never have. In a way the white Persian felt sorry for the Hidden Paw, like her his siblings cheating him out of everything. Maybe one day revenge would be theirs... maybe.

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Victoria wasn't so sure about this being a queen now business. It was so much different than being just a kitten, in fact it wasn't even fun to be perfectly honest. Time after time the youngest queen found herself staring off towards the kittens, her old friends playing tag or some other game down in the junkyard square. With a sigh, the white cat quickly reminded herself that she had more important things to worry about now like... finding a mate? Yes, that was something to focus on, but who? Who would think she was good enough for them? After all most all the adult cats were basically paired off anyhow weren't they?

" Vicki! Vicki!" Electra looked up at her older sister with a smile, she wanted her to play tag with the rest of the kittens but... Vicki wasn't a kitten anymore, but she could still play with them right? Sometimes Alonzo and Tugger played with them so why couldn't her sister? Electra was now fully committed to unboreding her eldest sister," Come play with us Vicki! Pleeeease!"

Victoria slowly rose a brow, play? With kittens? Could she...," I..." Her pretty blue eyes looked over the group, and she was rather surprised to see Alonzo joining the fray," Sure." The white queen smiled and bounded down to join the game, why had she never noticed Alonzo till now anyways? Hadn't he always played in their games? Well yes, him and Tugger, but who didn't notice Tugger? Alonzo was such a nice tom, especially when he smiled approvingly at her.

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He had saved her. She had nuzzled him and cleaned his wounds so... what was the hang up? Why weren't they together? But that wasn't his problem now was it? No. It was his brother's problem. Rum Tum Tugger had matters of his own to attend to, such as his current self brought on hiatus from Bombalurina. But in helping his brother snag Demeter couldn't he win brownie points with the red queen? Could be a workable idea, Tugger thought to himself while pacing his about his humans' humble abode.

" Hello son."

" Wha--" Tugger jumped, turned around and looked up to see the large form of his Father peering at him from atop the kitchen counter," Oh hey Pops...you gotta be so freakin sneaky like that? Almost scared what few spots I got off!" With a graceful leap, the mostly black tom settled by his Father on the counter.

"You seemed deep in thought. Something troubling you?" Old Deuteronomy knew exactly what was troubling his middle son, he was having queen troubles which for this particular son was unheard of. Munkustrap had queen troubles not Rum Tum Tugger.

"Well... um... see I screwed up with B-- a queen I really like or well at least I t--"

"Bombalurina. Yes I know all about you two, and all about your as you put it screwing up." Deuteronomy interjected with a knowing smile," Reminds me of someone that was once your age."

Tugger rose a brow, about to ask who it was that he reminded his Father of, but at the last second settled on another question," So... what should I do ? You're all old and wise... I need some Dad advice."

The older maine coon chuckled amusedly at his son for a moment and then took on a thoughtful silence. After a moment or two he spoke," I think you need to talk to her. Stop avoiding her and make the first step."

"That's what I was afraid of you saying..." Tugger sighed," She so difficult though... hard to talk to. And stubborn as hell... she might toss me into next week or grab me and make pas--" The middle son of Old D gave a sheepish grin and shut up very quickly, he was not about to finish such a sentence in front of his Father.

" Sometimes the thing which we need to do is what we fear the most my son." With that the old cat stretched and lept down from the counter," I have a cream date with Gus this afternoon. Such tales he'll spin if I pay, best of luck." With that Deuteronomy excused himself and was gone.

" Right. Thanks... I think." Tugger was not looking forward to what he had to do at all really.

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She had taken to being even more alone since the Ball. It had been to much, she never should have gone. She should have known he would have tried what he did. First he took Old Deuteronomy to make the mating ceremony he had planned for her and him official. Then he came back for her, had it not been for Munkustrap and Alonzo, Macavity would have succeeded.

Her world was falling apart now bit by bit. She had begun to ignore everything from food to her own son and even her sister. Demeter spent her days and nights now holed up in the closet, towards the back and in a fortress of blankets. She knew Macavity was angry for his plans being undone and she knew he was probably planning his revenge. Before he had cut the power he had plainly said he would be back, that she would always be his.

"Deme... why don't you come out? It's such a nice day, Plato, Jemi and I were thinking about going on a picnic. Munkus might go too." Bomba was growing close to finding her wits' end with her sister's behavior.

"No... no. You all go on and have fun. I... I'll only endanger you...ju--just leave me-- me alone p--p--please." She was trying so hard not to cry, but it wasn't working at all.

"Come on Demeter. You can't stay in here forever, he isn't always going to be after you!"

" No. Go and leave me be." It had taken some effort, but her words had left in a manner of anger.

Bombalurina stood at the door a moment, the look upon her face a hurt look. Had Deme just snapped at her like that? So she had... someone really needed to reason with that girl, someone stronger than her. Without a sound the red queen turned and left the closet closing the door softly behind her.

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" Is she coming?" Blue eyes met the brown ones of Bomba.

" Nope. Heavyside Munkus she snapped at me. Me! of all people her sister!" Everything was coming to a head now, it was going to drive her nuts and she knew it. All the rejection, the anger, everything that had taken preference over her life right now as threatening her very sanity.

Munkustrap shook his head, his eyes moving sadly towards the door of the closet and back towards the red queen before him," She's been through a lot... let her go for two more days, if she hasn't come out by then... I'll go talk with her." He understood Bombalurina's anger, in fact he was growing angry at the gold queen himself. After what had occurred at the ball he knew he loved her, but did she even care? He was tired of not knowing anymore, he was tired of being lead on.

" Alright. It's only her and I living there now anyhow. Jelly took Plato for good pretty much, Demeter almost attacked the kit when he had asked about his Father." Bomba did her best to hide her tears of pain for her sister, someone in their family had to be brave and she knew that someone was her.

End of Chapter Seven