Setting: Hallway, fourth floor, by the tapestry of Dan the Deluded (yes, that means you)
Chapter Three: Progress
AN: This is shortly after Christmas, and Ron is still snogging Lavender on a regular basis. Hermione has stopped speaking friendlily to him.
Cough.
Cough.
What do you want, Hermione?
I need to go to that way.
. . . You're free to go (?)
You're blocking up the hallway.
Oh.
(Hermione moves to her left, Ron his right. Hermione just manages to squeeze through.)
Thanks . . . Won-Won . . .
OUCH—watch where that hair is flying!
I am terribly sorry to have inconvenienced you with hair that is not as sleek or as straight as Lav-Lav's.
I don't call her Lav-Lav.
I do.
(Ron snatches at her hand) AN: I'll use blocking when I absolutely need it. Otherwise there's a problem with continuity.
Wait—
What?
Why are you acting like this?
Let go of my hand.
What's the reason for shooting your canaries at me?
Let go of my hand.
NO. Why are you mad at me? Most times I know what I've done wrong or I've deserved it. Not like this.
You know what's wrong and you deserve this.
NO, I don't.
Thank you for kindly releasing my hand. Please move out of the way.
Damn it, Hermione!
(Pause)
Take that wand away from my face.
Ron, you have just squashed me to the wall with your own body. I'm not a witch for no reason.
I won't let go of you until you tell me what the problem is.
You're nagging hold on our past friendship is quite touching. NOW GET OFF OF ME!
WHAT'S SO BAD ABOUT ME GOING OUT WITH LAVENDER!
EVERYTHING!
(Silence with so much tension you could cut it with that McGonagall glare reserved for Forge.)
You almost jabbed my eye out with that wand of yours. Now could you please go on? I think we're making progress.
Progress.
Yes. And I also need to know why you went to Slughorn's party with that prat.
McClaggen is no—never mind.
SEE? Even you think so too!
He's nowhere near the prat that you are, Ron.
(Ron releases Hermione.)
Forget what I said about progress.
I could throw your question back to you: what's so wrong with me going to that party with McClaggen?
Everything.
HAH!
Do you know what I think? I think that you just don't like the idea that I'm snogging Lavender.
What is that supposed to mean!
I don't like the idea that you've snogged Vicky, either. Let's just leave it at that.
No.
What?
Me kissing Viktor is completely different from you practically smothering Lavender.
I do not smother her!
Oh yes you do. Even the Fat Lady's noticed.
What in Merlin's beard are you talking about?
Don't tell me you haven't figured it out. Tell me, what's our new password?
Abstinence—oh that is just wrong, Hermione.
You guys are tangled up everywhere, even in public. It's making the whole of the first years uncomfortable.
What kind of person do you think I am?
Someone who snogs Lav-Lav.
Now let me through.
No.
No?
We've been best friends for six years, 'Mione!
Don't call me 'Mione.
Don't call me Won-Won. Why do you hate me?
(Silence)
I don't hate you, Ron.
Well you sure act like it!
I just don't want you ruining yourself over a girl like Lavender.
Oh, so you think I'm ruining myself?
Yes; quite frankly, you guys are wasting your time. And lips.
And what makes you think that you saying anything will make a difference?
(Silence yet again)
This is why I've resorted to canary-attacks.
So you think that I'm so thick the only message that will get to me is violence? Bloody hell, Hermione, I have scars!
Too bad for Lav-Lav, then.
(Pause)
Thank you very much for getting out of my way.
(Hermione walks a few paces off)
. . . But then, I prefer your hair to Lavender's.
AN: This last was definitely not heard by Hermione, or else . . . book six would have been a lot different. I realize I'm skipping whole chunks of the book, but there are only so many interesting conversations they can have, especially if Harry's in the way.
I probably won't continue using narration. Makes my job too easy.
Thank you, my reviewers; R/Hr Fan—You're right. That's just whatis the problem, that I wrote both of thema little immature. Very helpful.
