Part Two: Fumbling Towards Ecstasy
After The Jellicle Ball
Chapter Nine: Adia
Adia I do believe I failed you
Adia I know I let you down
don't you know I tried so hard to love you in my way
it's easy let it go...
It was time to get answers. Munkustrap had told her nothing, or really only what he knew which was nothing. She had a right to know didn't she? Yes. And she didn't care how troubled her mother was, despite only being a kitten, Jemima could handle herself easily without any problems," Mother?" No answer, the black and red kitten slowly moved forward," Mom... we need to talk please." Still no answer, the kit felt herself growing impatient," Answer me please."
" Go away. I don't want to hurt you... I don't want him to find you and hurt you." Demeter's voice was barely audible, her throat dry from lack of water and her stomach empty from lack of food. Slowly she rose from her fortress of blankets and adjusted her eyes to look upon her daughter," Please. Leave, ask Jelly or Jenny. Even Old Deuteronomy. They'll tell you what you wish to hear..."
"NO!" Jemima back pedaled, startled by her own voice yelling. She had never yelled till now, till she had felt so confused and lost," Sorry, I didn't mean to yell... but no. I want to hear it from you, my Mother. Please don't I deserve to know?"
Demeter stared long and hard at her daughter. The more she looked at her, the more she realized that she really did not look much like her Father at all really, but more like her, like her mother. She even acted like her too, and had a voice like her Grandmother's," You're right. Are you angry... are you angry at me?"
" I.. well. Yes and no." She moved forward again, settling herself before her mother and looking her over. Her beautiful fur was dirty, and clinging to her very thin frame. She had heard that she was starving herself and doing nothing but sleeping, but Jemima had not expected such a sight like this one," Honestly... I don't know how to feel. A part of me is very hurt and angry, but all in all I just want answers to my questions."
The gold queen nodded. She would feel the same if she was in Jemi's place... funny thing was in a way she had been in her place once. Her own mother had left her and Bombalurina to die basically and then just this last ball had they learned the truth," Okay, what are your questions?"
So she wasn't going to protest? She wasn't going to refuse... the kitten had honestly expected her to, but maybe in answering her questions her Mother figured it might make up for past mistakes, and maybe it would, depending on the answers," I... I wanted to know who my Father is. Let's start with that one."
"Are you sure? You might not like the answer I have to give you Jemima. In fact you probably won't like it at all."
" I understand that the things you'll tell me I might not like Mom, but they are things I need to know. I need my piece of mind." Her eyes pleaded for the answers which her soul desired.
" Okay. I'll make this simple and straight forward, your father is Macavity." Her body gave a cringe like movement at saying the name which had brought her so much pain in life and yet... so much joy as well.
Jemima nodded, " I somehow figured that... I am red and so is he. For a long time I once believed that my Aunt was my Mother... till I saw you."
The queen gave a smile," She would have been a better mother. Better than me."
Jemima shook her head, she felt tears forming behind her large brown eyes," No. I-- I'm glad you're my Mother honestly. But my next question hurts me most of all... why," The tears began to fall," Why did you abandon me? Why did Plato get the joys of being raised by you!" Each word was choked by a sob," It's not fair... I deserve you as much as he does." The kit buried her face in her paws and sobbed.
Demeter did not know what to do. Should she comfort her? Tell her she knew what it felt like to be left behind to not know or be raised by her mother either? Or did she already have that figured out, her daughter was a very smart girl," He.. your Father would have killed you if I hadn't. He wanted a male for an heir, not a female." Speaking the words, Demeter slowly gathered the small frame of her daughter into her arms and gently ran her paw over her mane," I abandoned you because... because I love you and I wanted to save you, I hope you can understand that please."
The words sunk in, each one Jemima absorbed thoughtfully and worked them over in her mind. She had no choice, had her mother not left her she would have died most likely. But couldn't she have stolen away often to see her? It was a lot for the kitten to take in as she let her mother hold and comfort her, it actually felt good for the queen that was her mother to be showing she did care," I understand Mom, I understand." She told Demeter as she felt the queen's own tears begin to fall.
And so they stayed for the longest time, and when Bombalurina finally returned to the place she and her younger sister called home, she was pleasantly surprised to see Mother and Daughter fast asleep in each other's arms.
End of Chapter Nine
