Chapter Eight: The Receiving End

Setting: Just outside of the Gryffindor boys' dormitory, while Harry leaves find Slughorn's memory after taking a swig of Felix Felicis.

A/N: I finally tore myself away from digging through years' worth of HP fan fics. Seriously, have any of you read some of these? But it takes so long, and quite frankly, it's easier to sit and read than to hunch over my keyboard and write.

Lovely reviews again, thank you! Sorry it took so long . . .


Ron . . . Ron!

(Later)

Well.

Are you okay?

Yeah—I'm fine now.

You aren't going to follow her? She's crying really loudly right now . . .

Oh—right—

(Pause)

Um . . . you're still here.

I know.

And you've just sat down in an armchair and put your feet up on the table.

I know.

You're not at all . . . upset . . . by this.

Trust me, 'Mione, I'm feeling exactly the same as you are.

I'm upset for you, not because she spit at me.

Don't flatter yourself (or me, for that matter). You've never looked better.

(Pause)

Er—

I mean you've never looked less not-upset.

Not a good actress, am I.

No, sorry.

So . . . you aren't sad? Or angry?

Are you?

No . . .

(Pause)

This isn't something that you just cross off of your list and whistle happily away with, Ron.

Oh? Then what am I supposed to do?

I don't know—feel a healthy amount of pain, maybe?

Tell me, Hermione: do you want me to come blubbering to you and say that my heart's broken? It's not, by the way. I'm not so immature that I'd cry over some stupid relationship while Harry's off trying to kill not one You-Know-Who, but four.

Oh.

You also don't have to tiptoe around the bush.

You're relieved, then.

Of course. I was hoping that she'd break it off before I had to.

But it was all over a misunderstanding.

Actually, I was going to ask you guys to set up a sort of situation where she'd have to get angry.

And here we stumbled upon it, ready-made.

Yeah.

(Pause)

She's getting the wrong idea, though! If she'd only given you a chance to explain—

I couldn't have even I wanted to. She's going to make a great Howler someday.

You just stood there, looking over her shoulder to some point in the wall behind her. You could have taken advantage of that one time she paused to take a breath.

I just wanted it to be over. She kept going on and on and on, and if you'd have been closer you would have seen that she was taking out her wand when she took that breath.

But she thinks that we—in the dormitory—we were—

We were what?

Oh, you know—and she's going to tell Parvati, who's going to tell everyone else.

Well, I'm sorry but I had to take that chance.

But we weren't!

You and I both know that, but she doesn't.

Exactly! What will everyone think?

Since when did you care so much about what other people thought?

I don't. I just really, really hate it when something reminds me of that Skeeter cow.

The scarlet woman incident, eh?

Yes.

(Pause)

Is it so bad that she thinks we were together in the dormitory alone?

Honesty is the best course.

Ah—there you go again.

What?

You say something vague and all-encompassing to answer a question. And more often than not the question isn't answered.

I don't like being the center of a rumor that is false.

Me too.

So . . . ?

(Pause)

I am not going to make that rumor true, Ron! Honestly!

I wasn't saying that.

I'm not Lavender! I have a smidgeon of self-respect, you know.

I'm not asking you to march back to the dormitory and sleep with me just because some girl thought we did, and because we want to keep the sanctity of "telling the truth."

Because then it will in no way keep the sanctity of everything else.

Right.

(Pause)

It would be funny, though, to see Harry's face when someone tells him that we're going at it behind his back. His two best friends.

And you're willing to let Lavender start something like that for the sake of a laugh?

Well—

My reputation is a mite cleaner than yours. Don't drag me into this.

What d'you mean, you're reputation is cleaner than mine?

(Pause)

Sorry, the eyebrow-thing won't work this time.

Fine. I won't say anything.

(Pause)

Since you're obviously dying to know, me and Lavender didn't do anything—er—beyond what you saw.

(Pause)

I believe you, Ron.

Good. Seriously, would you want to sleep with Lavender? I mean—she'd probably talk through the whole thing.

(Pause)

I still believe you, but those six years are doing a lot for you.

No, really—now that I think of it, how did I get her to shut up long enough to snog me?

(Pause)

When Harry isn't here, please don't think I take his place.

I don't think that you're Harry.

I hope not, but it's getting a tad awkward to talk about this. This is guy-conversation material, and I'm the feminist.

This isn't stuff I only talk to Harry about. Half the time he tells me that he doesn't want to hear, and the other half someone we know or one of us is dying.

I don't want to hear any more than he does.

Great friend he is, too . . . you should have seen him going on about Cho.

He didn't 'go on' about Cho. He turned positively red every time we mentioned her!

It was bad enough.

(Pause)

You know, you're very honest.

You make it sound like its bad.

It's very good, especially in a guy, but you should think about the person on the receiving end.

What?

I'm glad to hear that nothing—well, fully inappropriate happened between you and Lavender, but I don't need to know what it would be like.

You don't want me to be honest?

I want you to be honest, but more with a filter. What if I spent twenty minutes detailing Krum?

I see your point.

Bad example. Dean and Ginny, then.

Ginny is my sister.

(Pause)

It's nice to know, though, that you will always tell the truth.

It's nice to know that you will always believe me.

Ron!

No, no, I've got your Hogwarts, A History with me here—

(Pause)

Um . . . Hermione?

Yes, Ron?

Is there some sort of rule that says that whenever I do something stupid and get into trouble, and I happen to be lying down, you have pounce on me like that?

My Hogwarts, A History, please.

I'd give it to you, but I'll hurt myself if I try in this position.

You don't need that much oxygen to move your arm.

And I'll hurt myself—er—somewhere else if I moved at all.

Fine—I'll get it myself, then—

No!

What?

Please don't do that.

If you won't give the book to me, why can't I get it?

Honesty, right?

Er . . . I suppose so.

Because you'd have to crawl over me to get it. My arm somehow ended up dragging on the floor.

Don't be ridiculous—you're arm isn't that long.

I wondered if you'd notice that when you jumped me, the chair fell over.

Oh.

(Pause)

Er . . . are we waiting for a brilliant idea?

Ron.

Yes.

Ron!

What?

Be quiet.

(Pause)

Why did you do that, anyway? You could have gone around the chair to grab the book. There's no point in us staying like this.

(Silence)

You said you wanted to have a laugh about this at Harry's expense, right?

Uh . . .

Well, anytime he walks in here, you'll have that laugh.

Oh.

(Pause)

'Mione?

What.

This is weird.

Why?

You have a very strange look in your eyes, like evil and funny mixed together.

I'll put it this way. It's the same reason why you're voice just reached a higher octave.

Re—really?

(Pause)

Hermione . . .

Yes.

I lost feeling in my legs.

(Silence)

You know what? I don't think Harry will be back anytime soon. We should get to bed.

Bed?

Separately.

(Pause)

Ow—my fingers cramped on your book—

(Pause)

Great solution, that was. Ripping the book out of my hands and dislocating half of my joints in the process.

What the hell else was I supposed to do, Ron?

Wow. You said 'hell.'

Ron . . . please shut up and go away.

What? You're angry at me again?

When you grow up and unclog your head of Quidditch, you'll understand.

(Silence)


Poor Hermione. Even as I write this, I feel like Ron is five years younger than her. If you read in between the lines, you would have understood that she was trying to show Ron how much she liked the idea of both of them being single again, if you know what I mean. But either he's frightened by her advances or uncertain as how to react. It's a theme I saw running through the HP books, and hopefully, I incorporated it in here.