DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Except Kav (I claimed him), Jenna, Sarge, and Dr. Milena, all of whom are making a brief visit. Not beta-ed so all mistakes are mine. Somebody warned me once (threatened to go to the mods actually) so I decided to put a blanket thing on all my stories (het, slash, gen,) Please, bring an open mind. Remember, everyone's life is not the same.

A/N: This idea came to me while I was taking a shower at university. This is the third part of the Meetings Can Be Fun series. (I'm officially calling it Atlantis Can Be Fun.) You don't have to read the first two to get this one as they're a series of stand-alones. (Though I wouldn't mind if you did.) Just know that the series is about the fun of being on the Atlantis science team.


John hated the communal showers. He knew he wasn't the only one; the photographer who hung out with the foreign sergeant complained about it loudly and often. That didn't make him feel any more comfortable.

The floor wasn't exactly tile and the shower head wasn't exactly a shower head so much as a hole that spat the water up into the air. Warm, salt water and that didn't sit to well with John either. To be so smart, the Ancients really didn't understand hair care. Or that you were supposed to be able to brush your teeth while you showered. The part that disturbed John the most was that anyone with the Ancient gene could open the door at any time and walk right in. John took extra care to think "LOCK" at the door, just in case; he was fairly certain Dr. Milena was having him on about the people who wanted to see him naked.

At least, that was what he thought before he heard the click of the door behind him.

He stopped and listened for a moment before deciding it was paranoia. He shouldn't have been thinking about Dr. Milena in the shower. John went back to running shampoo through his hair when he felt hands spin him around. The stranger reached out and pulled John closer before kissing him thoroughly. The pilot had a brief moment to realise that the strong hands and stubble meant "guy." Which meant his career was pretty much over, but...damn somebody could kiss! The Colonel opened his eyes to see his mystery attacker...

"ARGH! AH! MY EYES! MY EYES!" Apparently, John's good friend, Shampoo, had decided it didn't like being forgotten.

"Well, now I didn't think I looked that bad!"

"NO! It isn't you! I got shampoo in my...Carson!" the pilot yelled in shock and agony.

"What are you going on about, Lad?" the doctor muttered affectionately.

"I opened my eyes to see who was molesting me and I got shampoo in my eyes."

"Hold still. Hold still!" the Scot said as he maneuvered the taller man's head into the spray from the shower head/hole. "There you go." John opened his eyes and blinked at Carson. "Now what is this about molesting?" John at least had the decency to look sheepish.

"Um...your eyes are really pretty. Has anybody ever told you that?"

"Aye," the Scot said with a mischievous grin. "Don't think that I'm letting you off the hook." The American cast his eyes around the tiny shower stall for a moment before making an executive decision and kissing the doctor.

John's kiss was softer and much more experienced than the one Carson had lain on him earlier. Carson moaned softly as he parted his lips just enough for the extremely talented pilot to sweep his tongue inside. John began to move the doctor back toward the wall as he tried to figure out the logistics for doing this in such a small stall. He had just gently bitten Carson's bottom lip when the other man shrieked and slid. So that's where the soap went to.

"Carson? You okay?" The American assumed the groan that issued forth was a 'no' and got down on his knees beside his would-be-lover. Carson looked up at him before listing his complaints.

"My arse hurts. My back hurts. My head hurts...I sound like Rodney."

"Just a little. Are you okay? Do you need to go to the infirmary or–?" Carson reached up and pulled John down to him. As they broke apart, John panted, "I'll take that as a no." He threw the offending bar of soap as he positioned himself over Carson – –

"What the frak?"

"Chikusho!"

"Sarge! What the hell did you do?" The three scientists looked up at the offending soldier from where they sat around a monitor. Jenna hadn't really needed to ask what Sarge had done (it was fairly obvious since she was holding the power cord) but felt like giving her the benefit of the doubt. The foreign soldier just stared at the photographer. "Okay, so it may be wrong to have put the camera in the shower, but.."

"It took me three weeks to build the damn thing! And another two to figure out how to run the video stream to this monitor! What the frak were you doing? Do I go around and destroy your experiments?"

"Kav. That's not the best question in the world. Especially, since this may be revenge for you messing up her experiment." Sarge just glared at her lab partner. He stood up quickly.

"I don't have to deal with this! I'm going to my lab." Kavanagh touched his forehead to the back of Jenna's head before turning around and leaving quickly (i.e. running for his life). Jenna sighed heavily.

"Since I doubt you're going to let us watch the end of the BeckShep Show..." she paused hopefully, but Sarge just narrowed her eyes. The photographer stood up and took a picture of Sarge before walking out of the room. Presumably to take photos of the new viral lab SAR had found that morning.

Sarge turned her stare at the only member of the trio left. It was obvious that she wanted to know why the sweet, innocent scientist had went along with Kavanagh and Jenna's nefarious plan. The woman in question shrugged.

"I like to watch." Sarge thought about that for a moment before plugging in the monitor back in and walking around the desk to join Miko.


A/N: "I like to watch." is from the movie Being There. I'm still writing for the "AFI 100 Year...100 Quotes Challenge."

"Chikusho!" is the Japanese word for "dammit." I don't know if Miko is Japanese (I haven't seen Letters... in a long time) but the name sounded like it was and its fanon that she is.