Disclaimer: I own nothing….

Author Note:

Beautiful Enigma: I'm a sucker for a gorgeous guy too. Thanks…I've written about 5 more chapters for this so I'm pretty ready for more. I also have another idea for another story so I'm on a creative spur at the moment.
MistakenLove: Thanks. I wanted to add humour in this story because I'm not really a funny person but knowing everyone found that bit funny is cool. I'm putting a lot of heart felt drama in this and I'm pretty sure you're going to love the next chapter I post. In this chapter 'La Tortura' I think everyone is going to feel a bit sorry for Dagonet, because this is a TristanOC.
KnightMaiden: Thanks. Here it is….

Wow. I went on my stats this morning and I'd just like to say thankyou to all the people who've put my story on their favourites and alerts. I'm truly happy about that. Lets get on with the show….

0-0-0

La Tortura

'So, Dag and Vanora have been helping you through all of this?' Arthur asked me.

I saw sitting by the fire in our camp as Dagonet tended the wound on my arm. The Knights sat around me, now fully aware of my gender, listening to my story. They took it just as Tristan said they would; even Arthur. It was like they were looking at me for the first time. I sat with my hair loose and my posture as that of a female, I even wore a light tunic which showed off my curves; bad move. 'It was my stupidity that they found out in the first place but yes,' I said as Dag wrapped a bandage around my arm.

'Cool,' Gawain said with a grin. 'Of course we knew all along.'

'I said it first,' Lancelot quipped quickly.

'Ah ha,' I said looking at my arm. 'Sure. You all knew but you just didn't voice you opinions. How noble.'

0-0-0

Tristan sat back patting his hawk as he watched the scene. His eyes racked over Evans body and noticed how undoubtedly feminine she was. He realised how hard it was for her to keep a male compose around people. As Arthur told her he found nothing wrong with her being a woman Dagonet sat down beside him with a sigh. Arthur told her Rome would not know anything, just to be on the safe side. Bors laughed and exclaimed that he now understood why she would not drink ale. Evan cringed and said it was an awful drink and she would be kind and leave it all to Bors.

The Woad that Evan had been captured with disappeared into the trees quickly after the battle after giving a quick nod in goodbye to Evan.

0-0-0

I lay back in my tent completely exhausted. My mind was reeling with the days events and I could not sleep until I understood all of it. I was happy the Knights accepted me but for some reason I was sad because Tristan did not say anything to me. I shrugged and rolled onto my side falling asleep instantly.

Another year past and I turned 16 without complaint. When I arrived at the wall as a woman it a came to everyone's mild surprise and Vanora's great relief. The cobbler, Henry, told me he already knew but he didn't want to say anything because he shared the same fear as I. All I could do was thank him kindly.

Vanora dragged me off to her room and made me some skirts and feminine tunics with two of the barmaids; Elanore and Nani. They were a giggling bunch around me but I was happy about it all the same. Nani had a great time styling my hair as Elanore made beaded jewellery for me. I tired on a yellow skirt with matching top which Vanora was putting together for me. There was a huge difference in me now. For the first time, I looked like a woman.

I thanked all of them and they said it was more than a pleasure to help me.

That night as I lay in my bed my mind drifted to Sarmatia. Would Jirdan have a family by now? Would he still be thinking of me?

I rolled out of bed a walked to my dresser and pulled out some parchment and ink. I would send a message to him telling him I was alright and happy where I was. I missed him a lot as I did my mother and father. The night was in full force outside. Drinking and dancing was happening and lovers were relishing in their love. Love. Would I ever have that? I certainly didn't know what it was. I didn't think of men in that way because I was too busy trying to be one of them. Would any of the Knights love me?

I shook my head and pushed the thoughts from my mind. This was not the time to think about that.

When I finished writing my letter I climbed out of my window and climbed onto the roof of the inn. I could see everything from up here. It was an amazing view and for the first moment since coming here; I felt free. I crossed my legs underneath me and sat listening to the music. It suddenly occurred to me at how lonely I was. True I had friends but no one to love me. There is that love again. I wanted someone to kiss me and just say stupidly romantic things to make me happy. I don't think I ever will know what love is. The thought makes me sad.

'Is falling on your sword to plain a death for you?' said a voice behind me. 'You want to go with a bang and jump from the roof top?'

Dagonet sat down next to me and smiled. 'No,' I said rolling me eyes. 'I don't have any intention of killing myself.'

'I'm glad to hear it,' he said looking at the people on the ground. 'So what are you doing up here?'

'Thinking,' I said simply as the wind blew past us. 'What are you doing up here?'

'Looking for you,' he said.

'Oh?' I was curious to know why and he smiled at me.

'Aren't you happy that everyone knows now?'

'Of course I am!' I said. 'I'm just…taking things slowly.'

'It has been almost a year since everyone found out,' he said matter-of-factly.

'I know.' I looked down at my hands and sighed. 'Now that I think back….I wish I had told everyone sooner. But I couldn't have known everyone would have been fine with it.'

'It is true you could not,' he said nodding. 'Are you happy though?'

I sighed and watched the dancing going on in the village before looking at him. 'Yes,' I said. 'I'm happy.'

0-0-0

'What is it?' I asked.

Tristan motioned for me to stop riding. We were just ahead of the Knights as we rode toward Londinion to meet with the Roman leaders there. We were halfway through our journey. Fru Fru stoped walking as I put my hand on her neck. Tristan looked around us quietly and whistled for his hawk. It came flying down and landed on his outstretched arm. 'What did you see?' he cooed. The hawk nipped his finger and flew off ahead. 'There is something out there,' he said turning to me. 'Its following us.'

'For how long?' I tired to see what he was seeing but it was no use. Everything ahead of us was clear and green. We would be journeying back to the wall in the winter because it was now the end of summer and we were expected to stay for a number of weeks until the Romans were pleased with the progress of Roman cavalries arriving in Britain.

'A while,' he said turning his horse back to the Knights.

I sighed loudly and followed him. It was close to sunset now and Arthur thought it best to make camp in a close area where we and see incoming attackers. Tristan suggested we ride a few more clicks until we were on the next hill. He rode ahead again. 'Want to talk about it?' I asked Arthur casually.

'I'll never understand your women's instincts,' he said smiling.

'They are yet to let me down,' I said. 'So tell me what clouds your usually clear mind.'

He frowned as he watched ahead of us. 'There are rumours that Rome is thinking of leaving Britain.'

'Isn't that a good thing?' I asked him.

'Yes…but I do not know for sure. Rome is a great place Evan. It has order and laws. If those rumours are true why are they bringing in more Romans?'

'Maybe the rumours are false,' I said with a shrug. 'You can ask when we get to Londinion.'

0-0-0

'What is it Dag?' Bors asked as he took a drink from his water skin.

Dagonet snapped his eyes away from Evan and looked at his best friend. 'What is what?'

'You ain't taken your eyes off her since we left,' he said. 'Something you want to tell old Borsey?'

Dagonet sighed and moved his horse closer to Bors' horse. 'Ever since she was twelve…since I found out she was a girl…I can't help but…its never going to happen so I should just forget it.'

'You're in love with the vixen aren't you?' Bors asked him. Dagonet nodded silently. 'Dag…I won't deny it…the woman is beautiful. It would make your non existent hair curl if you knew how some of the men back at the wall talk about her…and she's a great gal. Completely different to what she was when she was pretending to be a man but are you sure you love her? Is it love or lust? If you just want her to warm your bed you'd better quit while you're still intact because she ain't a bed warmer. She's wife material.'

'It's everything Bors,' he said. 'I can't explain it.'

'You just did,' Bors said. 'Just go slow Dag…but I'll tell you one thing. You ain't the only one of this bunch who's in love with 'er.'

'What do you mean?' Dagonet asked. His heart thumped in his chest as he wondered which one of the other Knights was in love with Evan.

'I see these things Dag,' Bors said calmly. 'You're in for a battle.'

'Who else?' Dagonet asked.

Bors shook his head and closed his mouth tightly.

'Who else?' Dagonet asked firmly.

'Arthur and Tristan.'

'What?' Dagonet asked. 'I thought maybe Lancelot or Gawain.'

'Na,' Bors chuckled. 'They love her like a sister. Sure they thought of bedding her at first…but they know she ain't like that.'

0-0-0

When we reached the top of the hill I unmounted Fru Fru and helped Bors bring wood for the fire. Tristan and Galahad went hunting for food as I pulled on my jacket. Dagonet had been quiet all day today. He had hardly spoken a word to me and looked deep in thought. As did Arthur and Tristan.

'What's with the pensive look?' Lancelot asked me.

'I'm not the pensive one,' I said with a laugh.

'True,' he said with a nod. 'Arthur is more quiet than usual. So is Dag.'

'Why?' I asked sitting down next to him. I rubbed my shins as the chill set into my legs. Lancelot shrugged. 'Who knows.'

'Something very strange is going on,' I said looking around.

'I'm officially frozen,' Gawain grumbled as he sat down on my other side. 'I can't feel any of my extremities and I mean any.'

'That wonderful to know,' I said smiling. 'Don't expect the same naughty words from me.'

'Well now I'm feeling the chill from all sides,' he said as he warmed his hands. I rolled me eyes and put my knees up to my chest as Tristan and Galahad came back to the camp with Arthur and Bors.

They looked at the three of us. 'Well if it isn't the lazy bunch of us,' Bors laughed.

'It freezing,' said Lancelot with a scowl.

Tristan put his kill, four rabbits, by the fire where Gawain and Dagonet started to skin them.

I went to sleep early that night. I wrapped a fur around myself in my tent and curled up into a little ball. My mind wandered to Arthur. He had been silent the whole night. He only spoke when someone spoke to him but the rest of the time he watched us; watched me more like it.

The next morning I woke early and had everything packed by the time Dagonet had breakfast ready. 'You'd think with me being the only female that I would cook around here,' I said smiling at him. He smiled at me and handed my oats and fruit which I inwardly cringed at. I never liked porridge or oats but I took it from him gratefully.

'I don't know how to cook though,' I said as I sat down. 'I've never been one for domestics.'

Tristan walked to us and sat down beside me before taking a bowl from Dagonet. I put my half empty bowl down on the ground and saw Dagonet and Tristan exchange a look. 'What is that about?' I pretended not to see anything but the tension around us was building and seemed to reach a scorching height when Arthur came out of the tent. Gawain walked to us and sat down on my other side while everyone exchanged silent greetings. 'What's going on?' Gawain asked me out of the corner of his mouth.

'I have no idea,' I whispered.

Gawain saw Arthur and Tristan swap a glance as Dagonet looked at Evan from the cornet of his eye.

0-0-0

'There is something going on with Arthur, Tristan, Dag and Evan,' Gawain said to Lancelot. The flirtatious Knight chuckled.

'Of course there is,' he said. 'She's completely oblivious to it but there is something not right.'

'You…you don't think all of them…are in love with her do you?' Gawain asked as he watched Evan speaking to Arthur.

'I don't think,' Lancelot said. 'I know.'

'And the worst part is,' Galahad said from beside them. 'They all know it.'

0-0-0

As I rode Fru Fru beside Bors an old song from Sarmatia came to mind. It was a song that would be used at times of celebrations and when teenagers were being cheeky. It was called 'La Tortura'. It meant The Torture. It was a song about love and being in pain because the person you love isn't with you. There was a dance to this song, but it was never danced in front of people unless it was in a group. I had been taught the dance by my mother who was a dancer as well as my grandmother who was also a dancer but I had never danced it in public. The song was beautiful and as I hummed and mumbled it I thought of home again.

The next few days passed normally. Our travels were not halted because of the cold and luckily for us, we arrived in Londinion just as the rains began to settle in. We were all welcomed by the Romans after they got over their shock about seeing me. You'd think a woman was poison at the way they go on about seeing women.

The first thing I did when I arrived in my room was call for a bath. A plump dark haired woman came up followed by two Roman men ordering them about in Latin. They were soldiers who did not look at all happy about being ordered about. I thanked them kindly and spent a long time in the barrel. I spread lavender and vanilla oils over my skin and dried my hair with a dry cloth before pulling on leggings and a long skirt with my boots and a long sleeved tunic.

'Evan!' Lancelot called as I walked around the fort.

'Hmm?'

'Arthur wants to see us all in the meeting rooms in half past the noon hour,' he said.

'Where are them meeting rooms?' I asked him as a bunch of Romans walked by. 'And it's almost that time.'

'I know,' he said as he took hold of my elbow leading the way. We ran up the steps to a grand building down a long dirt road where Dagonet and Bors were waiting with Tristan, Arthur and Gawain. 'Where is-'

Galahad came panting up behind us. 'Half past the noon hour?' he asked Arthur. 'Could you have made the time more indecent?'

Arthur opened the doors and we all followed him into the building. It was made of wood mostly and decorated in Roman style, which I did not mind very much. Lancelot put his nose up at it.

'Ah Arthur and his Knights,' said a tall man in a thick accent. He saw me and for a moment looked at if I had insulted him but then turned back to Arthur as if nothing had happened. I blinked before silently rolling my eyes.

0-0-0

I walked into the meeting room beside Dagonet and stood aside as the many men in the room looked at us. A short plump man walked over with his arms out welcoming us. Lancelot made a gagging motion behind Dag and I giggled lightly but stoped when the man shook Arthur's hand. I looked at men and I lifted an eyebrow at him in silent warning not to come near me. He stepped back and looked at us all.

'Well,' he said as his eyes racked over each of us. 'Shall we get down to business?'

I spent the next few hours zoning in and out of the conversation at the table. Many of the men looked at me many times but I ignored them completely as I tried to concentrate on what everyone was talking about. The conversation was now on Arthur and how many times we could escort cavalries to the wall from the shore. He told them they had bigger things to be getting on with and explained about Woads and the safety of the villagers around them. 'Who'd want the tedious job anyway?' Gawain mumbled.

I smirked and let my eyes wander the room before they rested on a man with short hair and dark eyes. My heart froze in my chest. My worst nightmare was back to haunt me. He stared at me intently as I leaned back in my seat and looked away from him. I immediately put my fingers to my mouth as I tried to rid myself of the memories of him.

Shortly after the meeting was called to an end and I quickly walked out of the room toward my bedroom. I closed the door and fell to the floor as tears rolled down my cheeks. 'Stop crying,' I told myself. 'Its not worth it.'

I thumped my palm against my forehead and wiped my face with my skirt. 'Don't cry…keep cool…keep calm.'

I breathed out deeply and opened the door to my room. He was there, leaning against the door frame looking at me calmly. I chocked on my breath and made my face passive. 'Hello Stephen,' I said calmly.

'Evan,' he said in his raspy voice. 'It's been a while. I see you've decided to show the world your true gender.'

'What do you want?' I asked him.

He leaned his elbow against the wall beside us and put his other arm on the other side of the door closing me into the room. 'Just to say hello.'

'Well you've said it,' I stated calmly. 'Now get out of my way.'

'You're a lot tougher than you were that last time we met,' he said leaning his face close to mine. 'Remember that?'

'One of my more forgettable memories,' I said. 'Do you have a reason for following me?'

'None really,' he said stepping back and unblocking my way. His cocky smile playing on his lips. 'Unless you're-'

'No,' I said cutting him off. I closed the door to my room and began walking down the halls. 'I have no reason what so ever to be even speaking to you so go away.'

'Well you're here and I'm here and-'

'You are beginning to annoy me a lot,' I said as he took my arm. 'I got over you a long time ago, there is no point in digging up old graves.' I yanked my arm from his grip and began walking away again. I managed to walk all the way down the stairs when he called my name again.

'I'm sorry!' he said from the top of the stairs.

I smiled slightly and put my hands together. 'Big lesson learned isn't it? Apologies come too late for me. You should have known you're self that the grass is not always greener on the other side.'

I walked away smiling to myself.