Amnesia

Tristan drank heavily that night. He fell asleep in his bed having just drowned a bottle of wine and three mugs of ale. The whole time thinking of Evan and how he wished that night he had more than kissed her. He wanted to make love to her and claim her as his. He was angry at himself for letting her run away. 'I should have followed her.'

He slammed his fist down on the bed angrily and drowned the last of his ale before falling into a heavy sleep.

The next morning he woke up with a painful head ache. With a loud groan he rolled onto his side and felt around on the floor in his clothes for his pipe. He lit it quickly and began to look around his messy bed for a sign of alcohol. He pulled off his tunic and walked to the window with his pipe in between his teeth before putting his fingers through his messy hair. He may be a quiet man but he was going to win her…even if it took his whole life.

0-0-0

I decided to give life fresh start when I woke up after the storm. Arthur told us we would be leaving within a day or two. Stephan persisted me in front of everyone. I dodged going around him most of the time because he would never loose the chance to flirt with me in front of the Knights; especially Tristan and Arthur.

Tristan did not really notice me for the next few days until we left the fort. I rode beside Dagonet at the end of the line and we chatted lightly the same as we usually did. But there was something different. He seemed saddened slightly.

'Are you alright?' I asked him curiously.

'Yes,' he said giving me a brief smile. 'I am very well.'

'You seem sad,' I said caringly. He must have noticed the feeling in my voice because he looked at me deeply for a moment; causing my breath to hitch in my throat.

'I am not sad….just…in thought,' he said looking at me with piercing eyes.

I felt it best not to persist as I felt that he was being 'thoughtful' about something private. I gave him a brief smile before looking ahead.

We were going home, I hate to say it but…I really wanted to get back to the wall. I wanted to sleep in my bed and talk to Vanora, Elanore and Nani again.

0-0-0

We are one days ride from the fort. I was beginning to feel like my friendship with Tristan would never be the same again because he seemed even more distant now to when he was before. All the Knights seemed to be acting differently. I couldn't quite understand why but the way some of them would look at me made me angry.

It was not until we were sitting beside the fire one night when everyone was in a tight silence that my patience reached its end. 'Excuse me!' I said standing in the middle of the group. 'Do you people have some sort of problem?'

All of them looked upset and downcast at being spoken to like this. 'Would you all please get your act together because your attitude the past few days had been less than welcome.'

Still none of them spoke and with a huff I stomped off toward my horse leaving them to fix their attitudes. Why did they have to be so odd? They were never like this before! It seemed as if everyone of them had something to hide from me.

0-0-0

'She's right,' Bors said. 'We've been treating her badly.'

'I agree,' Dagonet said nodding.

'Ain't given me the latest gossip in two weeks,' Bors said. 'Usually I would be hearing about everyone's latest news but she's been on a drought. I want the old Evan back so fix your problems…all of you.'

'I haven't got a problem!' Galahad said looking greatly affronted.

'Me either,' Gawain said. 'What did I do?'

The rest of the Knights looked at one another angrily and it suddenly dawned on each of them. 'You're all in love with her aren't you?' Gawain asked pointing to his fellow Knights. Galahad slapped his knees and laughed. 'You…and you Lancelot….and Dag…and Arthur?'

'Oi,' Bors mumbled as he rubbed his neck.

'Four of you?' Galahad asked looking at his brothers. 'Can you imagine if she was still pretending to be a man?'

'That would be strange,' Lancelot mumbled. 'I'd be having difficult thoughts at the moment.'

0-0-0

I stretched as I began to feel sleep come over me. I was leaning against a tree on a nearby hill. I could see the Knights clearly. 'One..two..four..six. Where is the seventh?'

I pulled my tunic a bit looser and sighed as I watched the fire.

'Tired?' asked Tristan's voice.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to be calm. 'Yes,' I said after a moment.

'You should sleep then,' he said matter-of-factly.

'I know.'

'So why don't you?'

'Because you're here,' I said as I looked up at him. He was calm but tired…I could tell these things. 'You all confuse me.'

'You confuse me,' he said calmly. I scowled loudly and rose from the ground and looked at him angrily. I was in no mood to hear him patronise me. 'What do you want from me exactly Tristan?'

'I already told you,' he said leaning on the tree slightly.

'I'm no bed warmer,' I said crossing my arms over my chest. 'I'm not going to be your floozy.'

'If I wanted that I would have bedded a barmaid,' he snapped. 'It doesn't suit me. After a while its not enough.'

'So you've done it?' I asked angrily. 'No matter, ha? Casual partners are good until you realise it won't last aren't they?'

'Touchy subject?' he asked me. I felt tears coming to my eyes and began to walk away when he grabbed my arms and stopped me from moving. 'Stop acting like a child,' he said as his eyes flashed with frustration.

I stoped moving and looked at the ground as he held me at arms length. His grip loosened slightly but it was still tight on my arms. 'I…I don't want a lie. I've been through it before and it hurt,' I said keeping my eyes on the grass. I felt a tear run down my cheek and I brushed it away. I looked up at him feeling the pain of my last relationship come through. 'Don't hurt me Tristan…I want to person I share my bed with to love me…and not just think I'm only good for that.'

What he did next surprised me beyond anything. He let go of my arms and hugged me. It was not desperate or unfelt…it was caring. He held me to him with his arms around me stroking my hair and back. I buried my face in his neck and wrapped my arms around him as his lips brushed my jaw. 'It okay,' he said softly. 'I had no idea…I-'

I cut him off by kissing his lips lightly. I pulled back and smiled slightly. 'It was years ago…now kiss me again like you did on the wall.'

0-0-0

Bors stood watching the scene in awe. He heard every word she spoke and watched how Tristan comforted her. He could see Tristan's love for her as he kissed her. He kissed the way he fought his battles. With precision and deadly aim. He looked away as the scouts hands drifted to places he would rather not see and made his way slowly back to the camp.

He suddenly felt a pang of guilt for his friend. Dag would be heartbroken at learning she had taken up with the scout. But Tristan never said he loved Evan. Tristan was never one to say these things out loud but did he love her? There was no doubt in his mind that after watching her cry and beg him not to break her heart; Tristan loved Evan.

0-0-0

Tristan pinned me against the tree as his hands clutched my backside. I kissed down his neck as I undid the ties on his tunic. I trailed my bottom teeth along his Adam's apple causing him to grunt loudly and move to undo the front of my breeches.

It occurred to me that maybe I should have told him I had never bedded a man because I had the distinct feeling that I came across the wrong way.

I kissed his lips as he picked me up and put me to the damp grass. I looked at me with lust filled eyes as I panted on the ground.

'Are you sure?' he asked breathlessly.

I nodded. 'But I…never…not even in my last-'

'You've never done this before?' he asked me.

I lifted an eyebrow and shifted under him slightly. 'We never got around to it. I'm sixteen Tristan…it wasn't on my mind.'

He kissed me tenderly as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He proceeded to kiss my neck when we heard a distant horn blow. We both froze and listened for the sound again. 'What is that?' I asked when it blew again.

'Picts,' he said as he got off me. I tied the front of my breeches quickly and he smirked down at me before helping me up.

0-0-0

'Watch out!' I yelled at Dag as a Pict shot an arrow toward him.

I was still on my horse cutting down Picts as I went. Most of them were dead but the few that remained wouldn't die! I killed one that was trying to stab me and another came toward me with a spear. My mare jumped back on her hind legs and I fell off hitting the ground hard. I saw nothing more.

0-0-0

'Evan!' Tristan called.

He saw Fru Fru lying down on the ground prodding a figure. He ran toward her quickly and saw she was lying unconscious on her back. He touched her face calling her name but she did not wake. Her mare prodded her with its nose again letting of a sound of frustration when she did not wake.

'Arthur!' Gawain called when he saw Evan lying on the ground.

'Let me see her,' Dagonet said. Tristan moved slightly as Dagonet checked her for wounds. After a moment he shook his head and looked up. 'She had no wounds. She's been knocked out.'

'Thank God,' Arthur said as he leaned on his sword.

'Look at her horse,' Lancelot said pointing to Fru Fru. She was still sitting beside Evan but she was putting one of her front legs on her chest and shaking her. 'She's trying to wake her.'

'Ever seen a horse do that?' Bors asked as he watched the mare shake her head violently and give off an angry neigh. 'Lets get the poor lass into a tent.'

0-0-0

I groaned as I clutched my head. Slowly I opened my eyes and found myself lying on my back. A hand took mine firmly and I groaned again.

'She's awake! MEN!'

'Don't shout please,' I said as I pinched my nose. 'My heads spinning right now.'

6 men walked into the tent and stood around me. I thought they looked familiar but for some reason I didn't know where I knew them from. 'Are you feeling better Evan?' asked the one with long blond hair.

I frowned deeply as complete confusion set into me. 'I'm sorry….but….who are you all?'

The men looked at one another as I silently stared at them. Who are these people?