A new introduction
I sat staring at the seven men in front of me as they looked at a loss for words.
'Evan?' asked the eldest one. He was bald and very muscly and all I could think of was that he was the father like figure of the group.
'I know that's my name,' I said looking at him. I waved my finger around at the men around me. 'But who are you?'
'Were the Knights,' said the one with Roman armour. 'So are you.'
'But I'm a woman,' I said as if he was lying. For some reason I felt like he wasn't.
'But you're a Knight,' said the blond one. 'We've been together for four years now. Were all from Sarmatia! You went undercover as a boy until we found out you were a woman.'
'Ha?' I asked nasally. 'Why would I do something so stupid? Did you kidnap me?'
'What!' asked a handsome one. 'No we did not! Don't you remember anything?'
'Er…I know my name is Evan…and…I um…,' I racked my mind for information about myself but everything was a blur. 'Who's Jirdan?'
'Your brother,' said a giant Knight. He sat down beside me as I tried to remember him. 'Don't you remember anything?'
'Um…no,' I said simply. 'Do…do you think you could tell me your names?' I felt stupid asking but I couldn't keep thinking of them as Roman and Father of the Knights and Giant man.
'I am Arthur, your Commander,' said the Roman.
'I am Lancelot,' said the handsome one.
'Gawain,' said the blond man.
'Dagonet.'
'Galahad.'
'Bors.'
'Tristan.' When he said his name I frowned inwardly. Why do I think of kissing when I look at him. 'I am so perverted.'
'Ok…,' I said uncomfortably. 'What am I doing here?'
'We all live at Hadrian's Wall,' Arthur said. 'We have lived there for just over four years.'
'Ok….I remember fighting….my horse…using a sword….and a little fat Roman man…mind you….I hate most Romans,' I said chattily.
'She can still be chatty,' Galahad mumbled.
'What is the last thing you remember,' Arthur asked me.
'I'm not exactly going to tell you that,' I said as a blush crept up my cheeks. 'Lets just say not much.'
'Oh,' Bors said, pinching his nose. Then he laughed and slapped Tristan on the shoulder. I was utterly confused and very tired. They left to let me rest. I closed my eyes as I pulled the covers over my body and fell straight to sleep.
0-0-0
'She hit her head,' Dagonet said sadly. 'She remembers some things which is a good sign. She'll get her memory back quickly but I think we should let the healer at the Wall see her.'
'How long until she gets her memory back?' Arthur asked.
'It could be days or weeks. We need to keep giving her information so her mind keeps working. We should keep moving on the road but until we know for sure she will be comfortable with us she should not go on any missions,' Dagonet said. Arthur agreed and gave orders to be back on the road with in the hour.
0-0-0
We arrived at Hadrian's Wall by nightfall. I knew where we were and I knew why I was here but I did not recognise any of the people. A red headed woman ran out toward us and hugged Bors tightly before moving to me. I couldn't place her in my mind. She looked so familiar but I just didn't know her. Bors pulled her aside for a moment, I knew he was explaining what happened to me because the woman put her hand over her mouth and gasped. I was really out of place. A tall blond man came out smiling and asked me if I wanted to take my horse to the stables or he. Tristan tapped the man on the shoulder and whispered something causing the man to look at me wide eyed and then nod. Tristan took the reins from my hands and gave the horse to Jols.
I felt like a child. The red headed woman who introduced herself as Vanora showed me to my room. As soon as I opened the door a lot of things came rushing back to me. 'You helped me pretend I was a boy,' I said as I stared at my trunk.
'Yes,' she grinned. 'I sowed your clothes and did your hair.'
'I feel a bit odd,' I said as I played with the hem of my tunic. 'Could you tell me if I…me and one of…'
She smiled at me. 'Its complicated with all of you. You have never slept with any of the Knights but…there is a small something there with a few of them.'
'A few?' I asked. 'So not just one?'
'Yes, dear,' she said. 'Do you want me to tell you who they are?'
'No,' I said. 'I'd rather just…go with the flow for now.' I smiled as I remembered something. 'I remember Dagonet training me at night. When we first came here. We'd practise while you sat watching and sowing my clothes.'
Vanora laughed. 'Oh…I'm so glad it's coming back. Now…let's get you into a bath.'
0-0-0
Vanora sat down beside Bors. She had just put her two children to bed and was ready to do so herself. Bors was rubbing his chin thoughtfully his mug of ale was fully in front of him. 'What is it Bors?' Vanora asked him.
He took in a deep breath and looked at his mug. 'Just before Evan fell off her horse she and Tristan were kissing. At the fort they had taken a step but she became scared and ran from him. I thought he said something stupid but it wasn't that at all. It seems that…she had been in a relationship before and ended up getting seriously hurt. I've never seen him so gentle with anything his life, maybe his hawk, but right when he realised he was in love with the woman she has this accident.'
'Oh Bors,' she said as she took his hand.
'That's not the worst of it,' Bors said looking at her.
'What could be worse than loosing love after an accident?' she asked.
'Arthur, Lancelot and Dag…all of them Van…they are all in love with her too.'
'Oh my Gods,' Vanora sighed. 'That poor girl.'
'Tristan's in a state,' Bors said. 'Went to see him just before. Smokin' like a chimney and drinking. He doesn't know what to do. Should he tell her…should he leave it? Finally admitted he loved the little vixen…and he won her over…I thought he was gonna go mad after a while but…just breaks my heart.'
Vanora kissed his cheek and sat on his lap. 'They'll be alright Bors…if it is meant to be it will be.'
0-0-0
It had been three days after arriving at the Wall.
Tristan sat on his bed with his head in his hands. He was confused about what to do. It was the middle of the night and everyone was asleep. He rubbed his hand over his bare chest in deep thought and eyed his pipe. No, he could smoke anymore. He had already smoked it three times and it was getting to be a bit much.
Right now…he needed someone. He wanted to kiss someone and hug them. He needed the feel of someone beside him at that moment. He was 19. He was a man. A man who was in love with a 16 year old woman who had stolen the hearts of three other Knights. But she kissed him. She begged him not to break her heart and was about to make love to him before the battle came. What was he to think?
He snapped out of this thoughts when he heard the door from across the hall open and then close. 'Evan's room.'
He pulled on his tunic and slowly opened his door. He listened for sounds and heard lightly footsteps walking up to the roof. He followed and reached the roof top after climbing the side of the wall and found Evan sitting on the roof in a night dress. A yellow, knee length dress and nothing more. She was looking down at her hands sadly and playing with the hem of her dress.
Tristan watched her wavy hair blow in the light wind and a tear flow down her cheek. She wiped it away quickly and sniffed before putting her head in her hands. He walked further onto the roof and she did not move. 'I remember you,' she said, not moving. After a second she looked at him and looked away. 'It's fuzzy but its all there.'
Tristan sat down beside her and watched the tears shine in her eyes. She laughed sadly. 'It's quite funny when you loose your memory for a while and then you have to think of everything all over again.' She looked down at her hands again. 'I even remember why I came here,' she said in a sad voice. 'I still have received no reply from the letter I sent. I guessed it would take a while but then I keep asking myself why I didn't send one sooner. And then I came up with the answer. I really don't want to know. You see…when I took my brothers place…I lied and said I would come back.' She finally looked at him with shining eyes. 'I'll never go back. I'll never see my family again and I'll never see my village again. Because for you….and for everyone else here, what I did…was supposedly honourable. But for them…maybe not my parents…but the village…I shamed them.' She gave a short laugh and looked at the bright moon. 'But its all back.' She tapped her head. 'Vanora's prodding…Elanore's gossip…and Arthur's 'shot talks' all made it come back. But the last thing that came back to me was about you.'
'Maybe I should have said something,' he said looking at her.
She shrugged. 'They still don't know anything so…if you were in my position I would have done what you did.'
'You still talk a lot,' he said smiling slightly.
'I'm balancing you out,' she said smiling. 'You don't talk enough. But I don't mind that…you talk when you need to.'
'You said that two years ago,' he said. 'I still love you.'
She looked at him silently.
'But so do many others….in the same way I love you,' he said.
'I know,' she said. 'I never said anything because it would have been awkward. But I chose you. Right before the accident…I told you I want the person I slept with to love me…I still want that.'
'You knew about them?' he asked her. 'Lancelot….and Arthur and Dagonet?'
She nodded. 'Woman have ways of concealing things. And I love them too.'
His eyes saddened slightly and he sighed in defeat as he looked away from her. She took his face in her hands. 'But not like I love you.'
0-0-0
He was carrying me to his room. My legs were wrapped tightly around his waist as he kissed me lovingly. He blindly opened the door to his room and kicked it closed before dropping me onto the bed. I gave a yelp before he leaned down and kissed me roughly. I pulled him on top of me by his tunic and pulled it of him.
I really wanted to do this. I wanted him to love me. His soft lips kissed down my neck as I felt his hands lifting my night dress. 'This is the right thing.'
I could not think anymore as my senses ran wild. All I knew was that I was making love to the silent scout who I loved so much. Love came up and slapped me when I least expected it to. I broke my own promise to myself. I let myself fall in love and I broke other hearts while doing it.
Hours later I woke up with the feeling of something on top of me. Tristan had his head on my chest and one of his legs wrapped around mine. He was fast asleep. His hand held one of my hips as his other held my hand. We spent many hours making love. He knew I was a virgin and made sure to be careful but I had none of it. I wanted to be able to let him be free; because I was tired of being treated like a sick little child.
'Morning,' he mumbled, not moving at all.
'How long have you been awake?' I asked him as I moved his hair from his face.
'A while,' he said burying his face in my chest further. I giggled as his beard tickled my skin. 'This is the first morning in 5 days that I haven't woken up drunk and needing to smoke.'
'Really?' I asked him. 'You never used to get drunk.'
'I didn't have a reason to,' he said slowly.
I closed my eyes knowing it was my fault he did it. I knew he didn't want to put blame on me but I felt bad all the same. He kissed my lips just as I was falling asleep but I did not move any part of me except my eyebrow. He kissed me again and I smiled. 'We just finished a few moments ago…you want to go again?'
'Yes,' he said pulling me down the bed further causing me to yelp. 'We are setting a new record.'
'Number 6…,' I said with a grin. 'And it's not even sunrise.'
He gave a short evil laugh as he killed down my stomach…..
0-0-0
Galahad walked into the stables looking like he had not slept all night. He gave Tristan and I an evil glare before walking to his horse. 'What's going on?' Lancelot mouthed to me.
I shrugged and Tristan had a smug smile on his face. We knew Galahad's room and Dagonet's room's were next to Tristan's. Galahad rubbed his eyes as he walked past is holding his horse's reins. 'Wow,' I mouthed as I followed him.
Arthur and Bors seemed to be in a bit if a huff as well. It seemed that all the Knights had a problem or two. All except Tristan and I. Lancelot noticed that Tristan's seemed happier, if it were possible for him to seem happy.
At mid day as the Knights ate I stood in front of Fru Fru rubbing her chin as she put her nose to my face. 'You're a good girl aren't you?' I cooed happily. 'I heard about you trying to wake me up…ha? You're such a good girl and when we get back to the Wall I'll get Jols to give you a thorough brush.'
I flicked my long hair over my shoulder and saw something in the trees. I squinted and took one step to the side of my horse trying to see it again. Fru Fru turned around and faced the same way I was. 'I know girl,' I said watching the woods. 'There is something following us…or someone.'
We rode through the plains all day. Every now and then I looked toward the forest for a sign of something following us and saw nothing. That was until sunset. Tristan stoped his horse suddenly and watched all around us. 'There is something following us,' he said looking into the woods.
'Where?' Arthur asked.
'The woods,' he answered. 'It's no animal.'
For a moment I saw a flicker of blue. 'What the-' I stoped talking when a familiar figure came into view for a split second. 'Guinevere,' I said to myself.
'What?' Gawain asked.
'I know who it is,' I said getting off my horse. 'She's harmless.'
I ran into the woods quickly as the Knights exclaimed about not understanding women and Lancelot said he wished we would give specifics when we did something.
I ran two feet into the woods when Guinevere jumped out of the trees. 'Evan!' she said smiling. She hugged me briefly.
'It has been a while,' I told her with a smile. 'You could have come out…they would not have hurt you.'
'I know,' she said with a nod. 'But Merlin says now is not the time for us to meet yet. I will meet your Knights soon. I am glad to see you still remember me. Rumours of your loss of memory spread quickly through the lands.'
'Well with the help of the Knights I managed to get it back.'
She wiped her hair from her face smiling. 'And so much more,' she said with a grin.
I smirked. 'Tell me…why am I seeing you so far from your home?'
'I came to tell you that…travellers from your home are headed this way. I watched them for many days and they do not seem to good.' Her face seemed unhappy.
'Not to good for what? Health or are they bad people?' I asked her.
'They are not good people,' she said. 'Some of them seem as if they are….angry while others stay silent and weary. When you meet them….be on your guard.'
'I will,' I said.
She looked toward the open plains through the forest trees and smiled. 'They wait for you. Be safe my friend.'
'And you.'
0-0-0
'So Sarmatian's are coming here?' Lancelot asked after I told them what Guinevere said.
'It would seem so,' I said thoughtfully. 'It would have taken them a while to arrive though.'
'They would have had to leave when the falling season was ending,' Galahad said.
I pulled my jacket tighter around my body and felt something fall on my nose. I blinked and looked up to see snow falling from the sky. 'It would seem the cold season is in full motion,' Lancelot said with a grin.
I looked ahead and saw a wooden gate with buildings behind it. We had arrived at our destination. The village 'Cesar.' It was a small Roman settlement for soldiers in high ranks. Lancelot glared at the place; he hated all things Roman.
'I don't understand you,' I told him. 'You gamble with them practically every night yet you hate the sight of their settlements.'
'I does not mean I have to like them,' he said calmly.
'Okay,' I said with a sigh.
He looked at me from the corner of his eye and grumbled when he realised I was purposely looking ahead wistfully. I wanted to give my opinion.
'You might as well spit it out,' he said. 'I know you have something to say.'
Bors chuckled and mumbled about me knowing how to keep them all in line.
'Well..' I began earning Lancelot's rolled and a dramatic sigh from Arthur. 'Hey! He asked for my opinion and I'm going to give it! Not all Romans are bad; case in point.' I pointed to Arthur who gave me a sour look. 'And…some of them can be quite nice if you only said 'hello' like a man. I'm saying this to all of you.'
'Not the last time,' Lancelot scowled. 'That Roman was ready to engage in a fist fight. Which I would have won.' He added the last bit with pride.
'He wouldn't have wanted to kill you if you hadn't slept with his sister,' I said matter-of-factly.
'I did n..,' he stoped when a dawning look appeared in his eyes. 'Oh.'
'Yes,' I said, completely satisfied at winning my point. 'I'm not saying that are all nice I'm just saying caution on all your parts would do you some good.'
'You're starting to sound like Arthur,' Dagonet said.
'Oh Gods no,' I said with a laugh. 'I'm just saying what I see. And I see and hear a lot. Even if I don't say so.'
I don't know how they took the last of my words. All of them seemed deep in thought when I finished speaking. Arthur seemed to understand. I felt terrible about hurting him but I couldn't pretend to love them when I loved someone else differently. Not more…just differently. I couldn't say I loved them all the same and had affairs with them all because then I would be no better than the barmaid who warmed their beds when their lust reached its peak. I would for no reason lower myself to that, and I know they would not want me to either. I may be a woman, but I am their equal, their friend, their sister and someone who would love them no matter what they did.
