Disclaimer: If you honestly believe that I own 'The Phantom of the Opera', then I would also like to inform you that my name is John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt. Also, I am a millionaire.

Sorry for the late update. I went away for four days to Vermont, so I wasn't able to update or write for awhile. And to RubyMoon2: yes, you can use quotes from my stuff if you want. Just remember to credit them to me! Anyway, here it is: the next chapter!

That night, Christine slept in the daroga's guest room while Raoul and Erik slept on the floor in the parlor. At around midnight, all that could be heard was quiet breathing.

Erik, not entirely comfortable sleeping outside of his normal coffin, glanced around the room, trying to ignore the vicomte sleeping across the room. The Persian's house was definitely of the exotic variety, displaying many of the furnishings typical of Persia. However, this did not translate into typical French décor. As a result, the room had an otherworldly aura about it, as though they were all thousands of miles away from the house on the lake, even though it was only a few short blocks away.

Erik's musings were interrupted by Raoul, who began mumbling in his sleep. "I wanna puppy...why can't I get a puppy, Phillipe?"

Erik groaned with annoyance and hit the vicomte over the head with a pillow. Raoul woke up with a start, and then glanced around a little until he realized that Erik was the one who had hit him on the head. "What was that for!"

"For your incessant mumbling in the middle of the night. Even when you're asleep you can't stop talking."

"Is that my fault? I can't help what I do when I'm asleep."

Erik snorted as he stood up and grabbed his pillow. "You can on my watch." And with that, he crossed to the other side of the room, lay down, and tried to go back to sleep.

A few seconds of silence paused before Raoul hissed to Erik: "You snore."

"What!"

Even with his eyes closed, Erik knew that Raoul was smirking. "You heard me. You can even ask Christine or the Persian or Darius tomorrow. They'll all back me up."

"That's absolutely ridiculous!" Erik shot back angrily, annoyed that he was being deprived of his sleep.

Raoul, however, remained smug. "Oh, really? How is it ridiculous?"

"First off, I think I'd know by now if I snored. And secondly, I don't have a nose to snore with!"

Raoul shrugged. "I don't know how exactly you manage to raise the rooftops; all I know is that you do."

Erik opened his mouth to reply, but he fell silent when he heard an odd noise. It sounded like a horse whinnying, but that didn't make sense to Erik. Why would any horses be out this late at night?

Raoul heard it as well. He frowned slightly as he heard another noise. It started off quietly, then began to increase its volume. At first, Raoul thought the voice reminded him of a lark rocking its babies to sleep on a cold winter's night; however, he and Erik soon realized what it was.

"Mary Sue!"

And with that, the two began grabbing furniture as quickly as they could and shoving it up against the door. Chairs, coffee tables, and cabinets were quickly moved in order to impede the Mary Sue's entrance into the Persian's house.

Erik stood back after they had finished their mad furniture scramble and examined the barricade that they had just constructed. "There...I think that should hold her off."

"Um...what are you guys doing?"

Raoul and Erik whirled around to discover the Mary Sue standing directly behind them. She blinked, wide-eyed, and stared at them as they looked at her in horror.

Raoul spoke first. "How...how did you get inside the house?"

The Sue shrugged. "The back door."

Erik sighed in annoyance, then looked down at the innocent-looking Sue, who stared back at him with her mesmerizing Eyes of Feigned Coyness ™. "So, what exactly are you doing here?"

The Sue rolled here eyes and pouted indignantly. "I've already told you. I need you to teach me how to sing, just like my daddy promised me before his tie got caught in a paper shredder, strangling him to death as I looked on helplessly."

Raoul's brow furrowed. "Couldn't you just turn off the paper shredder?"

"Um, hello? It was a paper shredder of DOOM, sent to curse me through all my years by my evil stepmother, Satana."

"But didn't you just say yesterday that your father was eaten by squirrels?"

The Sue rolled her eyes and sighed with annoyance. "Seriously, Raoul, how stupid are you?" And with that, she flipped her hair huffily. "Aaanyway, I knew you guys would go somewhere else, because you were thrown by my strong personality that women aren't supposed to have. But don't worry. Erik, you will soon grow to love me for my independent thinking, and come to see that strong women are much more preferable than weak ones. After that, you'll renounce your chauvinistic ways. But Raoul, you will continue to hate me while simultaneously lusting for me. Eventually, you'll try to rape me, but Erik will rescue me and kill you, and then we'll live happily ever after underneath the opera house." She smiled happily. "I oughta know. I am the authoress, which means I know everything there is to know about you two."

Erik and Raoul looked at each other, astounded by just how stupid this Sue was and how badly she had just raped and murdered their canonical personalities. Erik had plenty of experience with strong women, such as the sultana in Persia, and had never adopted any chauvinistic attitudes towards women. Raoul loved Christine, and wouldn't dare think of another woman like he did her. And WHY couldn't she shut off the paper shredder?

The Sue, unaware of what the two men in front of her were thinking at that very moment, smiled coyly at Erik and batted her mascara-laden eyelashes. "Sooooooooooo...when can we start my singing lessons?"

Erik felt a migraine coming on, and frantically tried to remember where he had put the Punjab lasso. "Mademoiselle, it's very, very late at night..."

"...and you need some sleep? That's OK! You can go get some sleep, and I'll just watch you until you wake up." And with that, she plopped herself on the ground and proceeded to stare at Erik intently.

Needless to say, this made Erik slightly uncomfortable. "Mademoiselle, this is not your house, and you don't have any right to barge in like this..."

The Mary Sue made a tsk-ing noise. "You and your chauvinistic ideas."

"WHAT!"

"I mean, really. In your own little world, if a woman walks into someone else's house, it's a crime, but if you, a man, do it, then it's alright."

Erik, his hands tightened into fists, responded angrily. "This happens to be the home of a friend of mine..."

The Mary Sue blinked. "You have friends?"

"Yes! And, unlike you, I happen to have permission to be here, so I would advise you to leave before I am forced to strangle you!" And with that, Erik whipped out the Punjab lasso, aiming it directly for the Sue's neck. Once he had, he tightened its grip, hoping to frighten the Sue.

It was then that he realized that he had missed the Sue completely, and that the Punjab lasso hung limply in the air.

Erik frowned. This was unusual. Not once in the last twenty years had the Punjab lasso missed its mark. Recovering his composure, Erik whipped the Punjab lasso at the Sue again, taking extra care to get the Sue.

Again, it missed.

Erik was slightly shaken by this. What had happened to his aim? Was the lasso broken in some way? Again, he whipped the lasso at the Sue, who stood there calmly as though nothing odd had occurred. This time, Erik watched carefully as the lasso went directly towards the Sue's neck...

...and was deflected by some unknown force.

Erik stared at the Punjab lasso, bewildered as to what the hell was going on. Raoul seemed confused as well, having seen the Punjab lasso in action before and knowing full well how skilled Erik was with it.

The Sue, however, seemed to think that there was nothing odd going on.

"So, are you going to show me to my room, or what?"