Disclaimer: I own nothing. I feel nothing. Not the wind on my face, nor the salt of the sea, nor the warmth of a woman's flesh.

You'd best start believing in ghost stories, Ms. Turner. You're in one.

(Okay, I am officially random, to the point where I can't even claim ownership for my disclaimer.)

!'

The Sues muffled protests could be heard continually coming from the corner of the room, but everyone else ignored her. Thanks to the Persian's intervention, the Sue had been subdued long enough that Erik and Raoul had been able to gag her and tie her to a chair, where she sat and, every ten minutes, tried to escape.

"MmfmfmgrmfmHM-M-M-M-M-M-M!"

Erik, in the middle of speaking, ignored the Sue's protests and continued. "So, anyway, that's when she started lunging furniture at Raoul."

Raoul, who was sitting to the side with some ice on his injured eye, nodded miserably.

The Persian nodded, having listened carefully, before he spoke. "The question is, how on earth did she find this place? I doubt she even knows who I am, much less where I live." He looked at Erik. "You didn't leave a map or something in your house, did you?"

Erik shook his head. "No. At least, not in any language she might understand. I figured that it would be fitting to write a Persian's address in the language of Persia. So unless she speaks Arabic (doubtful), that's not how she found out."

"Well, is there someone else she could contact that might know?"

"Not that I can think of."

Damien sat quietly off to the side, watching the proceedings. Christine sat off to the side as well, watching over Raoul carefully and eyeing the Sue suspiciously for any more outbreaks of violence. That left Erik and the Persian to sort things out.

"Well, what'll we do with her?"

"Well, we can't just release her...at least, not without some sort of electric dog collar that'll keep her far away from us."

"Those won't be invented for at least another century."

"Damn. Well, I'm all out of ideas then. What do you think?"

The Persian sighed. "If we could find some other sort of place to keep her, somewhere where there'd be a Sue-attracting male to keep the attention off of you..."

Erik sighed and shook his head. "I've already checked that out. Aragorn and Legolas are hiding, Hogwarts Castle has been boarded up, Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp are still having horrific nightmares, and every anime character in Japan is on guard. I think we're stuck with her."

Erik thought for a second. "What about that Wonka guy? He's new on the scene..."

"He locked himself up even before the Sues came around."

"Damn."

Erik thought for a minute, and his brow furrowed and his eyes narrowed. Suddenly, he spoke. "Well, what if we just knock her out?"

The Persian stared at him and smiled, "You have good ideas, my friend."

One hour and several bottles of morphine later, the Sue was out cold, and there was much rejoicing. However, the worst was yet to come...