Sorry that I've been gone for so long. Miss MxAngel and I went through a nasty break up. Just between us, I still love her to death, but that doesn't matter. She and I have become just friends. Oh, and she managed to teach me how she writes those sex scenes of hers!
Now I'm going to address something that was brought up in a review that I got. I was asked why I was not writing femslash since I'm a guy and supposedly that is what guys write. The answer to that is just that I don't like femslash. I prefer nice, hetro pairings. All you're going to get from me is s/b and j/l. don't know what I want to do with adam and Emma.
Now back to where we left off
Jesse Alexander.
Jesse
A day, a week, a month, a year, a decade, a lifetime… How long does it take to know that you are in love? How soon is too soon to pop that all important question? How do you know that you are asking the right person to share your life? How do you even know who the right person is? I thought love was supposed to answer questions, not create them.
Lexa
You cant depend on anyone or anything. You can't depend on your feelings, and you especially can't depend on love. How is it that I have found myself in love with him? How is it that I can't tell if he loves me or not? Most importantly, when in time did I loose sight of my objective.
It had been almost four months. Four long months of them trying out their relationship. Four months of tears and pain. Four months of them making love together. Somewhere in those four months things had changed.
Lexa had felt more confusion in the last four months than she had felt in her entire life. It had gone beyond who she could or could not trust to how she could hold on to the people that she had come to love. Although she had sworn that she would never let herself get to know the members of Mutant X, she now found herself intimate with the knowledge of what each of the team liked or dislike, their political views, and most importantly, their feelings for each other, and her.
Jesse, he was still finding himself in the icy blast of the shower at times. He had Lexa's heart at every hour of the day, but the Dominion could sometimes keep away her body. It was a situation that he knew he would have to live with, but still could not stand it.
Lexa walked into Jesse's bedroom and sat down next to him on the bed. "You and I have to have a little talk."
"It's too early." he mumbled as he pulled the blankets back over his head.
"No, Jesse, it's late. You slept past noon so hurry up and get out of the bed. You and I really need to talk." She got up and left the room.
Jesse lingered in bed for a moment longer and then got up, following her down the hall to the kitchen. "So what is it that we need to talk about?"
"Sit down and I'll get you some coffee." she responded and then quickly busied herself with making the magic elixir that would manage to work its magic on Jesse so he would be capable of a conversation. "Here you go." she handed him a mug of the freshly brew coffee and then sat down across from him.
"So what is our little talk about?" he asked again as he swallowed a large gulp of the coffee, ignoring the burning of his mouth at the heat.
"You are going to have to make a decision." she looked down at her hands for a moment and then looked back up at him. "The Dominion knows about us, and they have given you a very short list of non-negotiable options. You can A. Choose to break up with me and I will be allowed to stay at Sanctuary with every one, B. Choose to continue dating me and one of us will be relocated to a different operations base, or C. We both give up this life and join the real world."
"You know what you can tell them for me."
"It is not going to be that easy, Jess. If you take option C, well, you'll have to say good bye to Shal and Bren, as well as all they high-tech toys you've had here. Both of us would have to get real jobs, and there would be no going back. Once you leave it you are leaving it all forever."
"Why don't they just add the option of shooting myself in there?" his tone dripped of sarcasm.
"That was choice D, but I decided to omit that one." she looked back down at the table. "I already gave them your answer."
"I guess we have to tell Shalimar and Brennan." his tone was even, far too even. The coolness of it all made Lexa shudder.
She twisted her fingers together underneath the table. "I told them that we wanted to take option B. I'm leaving tomorrow morning for Mexico. I just wanted to tell you good-bye."
The mug dropped from his hands and shattered on the floor. "You had no right to tell them that! If you want to run go a head, just don't expect me to come help you next time your stupid computer screws up or whatever the hell happens that you need me! Get out of the kitchen! I don't want to see you right now!"
Lexa cringed inwardly at his out burst, but dutifully headed out of the kitchen. She made it all of five feet out of the room before she felt the tears starting to drip down from her eyes. She broke into a run and headed for her bedroom.
