Aquarian Wings
By: A.R. Taloff
'The universe is resting in my arms . . .'
Chapter Three: Now Here I Stand
The Past
AC 198
Charlemagne Hospital, Delivery Room L34
Main Street, New London, Europa
"Sir, it's . . ."
"Yes."
"Oh, she'll be so crushed . . ." the middle aged nurse whispered softly, covering her eyes with one hand.
The doctor nodded, gently cradling the baby in his arms. It's eyes, possbily blue as their mother's, would never open, the dark, almost black hair of the father's would never feel a breeze blowing through it.
The unnamed child of Relena Darlien-Peacecraft would never know the unrequited love of a family.
"Nurse, please try to revive Ms. Darlien-Peacecraft."
The woman stared, brown eyes wide. "But . . . but sir . . ." she stuttered.
The doctor shot her a no-nonsense look. "She needs to know."
Present Time
AC 204
Deutschlandes (Denmark, Germany, Austria)
Mannheim GeoCity Base
Aquarius fell asleep immediately, but not before seeing Ruth's cruel blue eyes, and cigarette hoarse voice laughing.
And downstairs, Relena and Heero just stared at one another, transfixed and utterly terrified.
The last time they had been physically and knowingly around the other was nearly seven years ago. Both remembered the exchange well.
And both remembered the end.
"Heero . . ."
To his ears, it was the most magical sound on earth. His name, on her voice, nearly brought him to his knees. It always had that capability. Her soothing words, soft eyes, comforting smile. Everything. He loved her.
Heero had never allowed himself to love another human being. There was too much at risk, particularly his heart. He'd given himself to the cause of saving lives, of protecting the people. She'd said that that was a version of love. A kind of love that transcended superficiality, race, and status. A love that was grand.
But not, he later discovered, the most grand and beautiful of them all.
The love that is unequal to another, even, he discovered, the love of a son.
Duo had called it, 'The Super Duper Never Fail Forever Times Infinity Squared Out of This World Out of the Ballpark Hit World Series Love.'
And Duo was the only person Heero knew that he would ever meet who had known how to name it.
Heero felt Aramis stir again, and soon he was staring down at big eyes of violet. "Dad?"
Heero gathered the blonde boy close to him, and Relena leaned against the casing of the door. Heero and Aramis. Heero and Gwenhywfer. That was the name she chose for their daughter. The original spelling of Gwenivere, her little princess.
Relena rubbed her stomach gently. So long ago.
She had quenched her loneliness when she adopted Aquarius, who could pass as her daughter, simply because of the rumors that had once flown about the Vice Foreign Minister and pilot of Wing Zero; even though Aquarius was a sophomore in Preparatory schools.
Heero still held the small boy tight in his arms. His eyes lifted and through still thick eyelashes, he saw Relena watching. Relena. He hadn't stopped thinking about her. Even when he wanted to die for need of her, to die from unhappiness at her obvious distaste for him, he still dreamed of waking up next to her.
Of having that family he never knew he craved.
She had never pressed him. Never said a word to the effect that she expected him to stay with her. Relena only wanted now.
Or, then, as it had been.
Aramis had shown him how much that family life meant to Heero. Aramis, crawling in bed to be near safety. Aramis, wanting s'mores, teaching Heero that fine art of making them in the Microwave. Aramis and the laughter that filled that monstrosity of a house. Aramis and the stick figure drawings that cluttered the refrigerator.
The only thing Heero lacked was Relena.
And here she was. Watching in a way that reminded Heero of a person who had spent three days in the desert to discover an oasis. A person who was starving for the same thing he did.
Heero had authorized himself to keep a close PI on her. He needed to know about Relena, at least have some form of indirect knowledge. Aquarius Julianna Renata Darlien-Peacecraft. Romanian, Spanish, French, and Relena. Her daughter.
Wu Fei scrubbed himself in the shower. It was tranquil and silent, except for the beating of hot water on his travel dirty skin.
Then he nearly screamed in fright when the emergency buzzer sounded. It was from Kai's room.
More quickly than he wanted to think about, Wu Fei launched himself out of the warm water's spray and into the cold air, a towel, and pounded down the hallway to Kai's room.
She was in a tank top and 'WeekDay' underwear, proudly saying 'Saturday' on them, even though it was Thursday; when he slammed open the door.
Kai turned and stared at Wu Fei's face, amazed at how quickly he turned fiery red in utter embarrassment.
"Wu Fei . . . you're . . . not . . . wearing . . . I mean . . ." she quickly shut up. She wasn't wearing much herself.
Wu Fei tried to cover as much as he could with the very inadequately sized towel.
"I . . . the buzzer sounded." He gestured weakly with one hand.
Kai looked around and saw the buzzer lying on the bed she had just done a celebratory mid air flip onto. Why she had given into the base urge to go psycho after the afternoon and morning of making out with Wu Fei, she didn't know, but now, she wished she hadn't. God, but he looked sexy in just that undersized towel. "Oh . . . uh . . . it must . . . I must've sat on it or something." She tried to calm the mussed hair. Yes, Kai, sat on it. After you headbanged to silence, which explains the messy hair . . . Great job.
Wu Fei looked around in nervousness. Gods . . . she looked really pretty in that outfit.
Kai bit her lip with anxiety, trying to subtly calm her hair without looking too insane. Dumb dumb dumb, Kai . . .
Then he walked out and shut the door.
Her huge green eyes shot wide open. Then she heard a soft thump, and moved closer to the wooden door.
Wu Fei's voice came through a bit muffled, and she leaned closer. "What did you say, Wu Fei?"
"I said, you look beautiful. I'm sorry about today. Good night."
Kai turned her head to rest her forehead against the cool wood. "Oh, Wu Fei, I had a good time today . . ."
She listened for his response, but the only sound was her ears buzzing with silence.
Kai opened the door and peeked outside just in time to see Wu Fei's door shut.
Present Time
AC 204
Deutschlandes
Mannheim GeoCity Base
0103 hours
A shrill scream woke Heero up from his slumber. He recognized that Aramis was next to him, sleeping soundly. So whose scream had he heard?
Heero gently extracted himself from the tight grip that Aramis had around his waist, then padded to his robe. Marian, the nanny and House Chief of the mansion, had never allowed Heero to do anything like walk around in his underwear, even when it was midnight and he was checking on a strange noise or getting the phone or going to Aramis's room. Old habits die hard.
Heero quietly opened the door and walked to where he estimated the scream had come from.
The door at the end of the hall stood open, small moonbeams dancing over the rug an creating a haunting emptiness, lacing small dust particles, kicked up by ventilation, that twinkled as they hit the light.
Peering in, he saw long golden hair, accented by the moonlight, falling over white robed shoulders. A girl with dark brown hair shimmering with red and gold huddled on the golden haired woman's lap, sobbing.
"She came for me again, swinging her pan. There's nothing I could do . . . mommy don't . . ."
The woman gently rubbed circles on the sobbing girl's back.
Relena and Aquarius. He realized. But . . . who came for her?
"She swore and screamed, hit me . . . then she broke my bell, the special one I bought with my own money . . . she said it wasn't right to get gifts from boys . . . they just want to screw you . . . make your life miserable . . . she wouldn't listen . . ."
He watched Relena, whose eyes looked so old, so tired. She was feeling the pain that Aquarius radiated with her whispered retelling of the nightmare. Who was Aquarius?
The nightmare continued until the screaming woman lay bloody on the floor. Ten minutes later, Aquarius fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
Heero looked to the ground. How horrible. A young girl with all that hurt. So much pain. When he finally found the courage to look up and walk away, he felt Relena's warm eyes on him. She knew he'd been there, listening.
"I won't tell anything that I saw or heard tonight," he said softly, turning and shutting the door.
Relena, quiet and still rubbing feather light circles on Aquarius's back, nodded as a tear trailed down her cheek.
Present Time
AC 204
0831 hours
Deutschlandes (Austria, Denmark, Germany)
Mannheim GeoCity Base
Aramis had woken up early this morning, and immediately wanted something to eat. He had sat on Heero's chest for effect, just to wake his father up.
Aramis had long since discarded calling Heero Uncle, as was probably a bad idea. He'd just called him dad after a few years. Aramis had found out that his true parents were not coming back, because the only time he remembered seeing them after that night was in pictures. He remembered seeing his uncle Heero after his parents had been shot. As opposed to the other three uncles, Wu Fei, Trowa, and Quatre; Heero had looked yucky. His hair was longer and tangled, he'd grown a beard and mustache, and his eyes were bloodshot. That was the worst Aramis ever remembered seeing his uncle, and he never wanted to see that weirdo again.
However, Heero was not to be persuaded this morning, and asked Aramis to please remove his person before dangerous measures were taken.
Aramis moved quickly, because, as he knew, with that tone of voice, any number of things could happen. Mainly though, was tickling. His biological father had been extremely ticklish, and as such, had passed that trait on to his son.
"But I'm hungry, and I don't know where anything is."
Heero sighed into his pillow, God, this was not the time to find himself up all night thinking crazy thoughts about Relena. Or her daughter's past. "Aramis . . . dad's a bit dead this morning . . ."
Aramis took to pulling at Heero's fingers. "Come on dad, wake up . . . you can take a nap later . . . come on dad . . . Dad . . ."
Heero tried his damnedest to get out of that dreamscape, the one where he woke up next to Relena's sleep softened face, and found he couldn't. "Aramis . . ."
"Then I'll just go by myself, and get lost . . . I'll do it dad, I'm hungry enough!" Aramis opened their door and stood on the threshold for emphasis. He wanted food, and he wanted it now. Bemusedly, Heero remembered Duo's enormous appetite, and how Aramis had once again taken the qualities of his father.
Heero commanded himself to wake up - and found himself mentally shouting a 'No fucking way in Hell, SIR!' to the commander in his mind. He moaned softly into his pillow.
"Here, you can come with my mom and I, Aramis," answered a soft voice.
Heero peered through the slits his eyes allowed to find out who his savior was. A tall girl stood just behind a very still Aramis. Her dark hair was tied back into a high ponytail. She wore some loose fitting jeans and a T-shirt that said 'Hunger Task Force of San Diego.' Then Relena came to kneel beside the blonde haired boy.
"Hey, Aramis, remember me?" Relena smiled gently.
Aramis screwed up his face in memory and Heero just couldn't stop staring at the three of them. His mind was an amorphous sleepy jello mass, and he was sure a dorky small smile was plastered on his fuzzy cheeked face at the strange, homey feel that the three of them had.
Aramis remembered the voice vaguely, because it was like his mother's. But most of all, he remembered this woman's, Relena's, hands. They were always bare except for one small, opal stoned ring. He remembered being told by Uncle Trowa what the ring meant, but he didn't remember anymore.
"Yeah, you're the Vice Foreign Minister they talk about all the time. Relena." Aramis didn't really understand the sadness that passed through her very blue eyes, but he felt sorry for it.
Her smile came back though, and she kissed his cheek gently. "I'm pleased to see you again, Aramis. But let's go try to find some food, I'm starving." Relena chanced a glance at Heero, who, she discovered with embarrassment, was staring at her with abandon and a very sexy smile on his face. Had he been doing that the whole time?
Past Time
AC 200
Peacecraft/Darlian Mansion
Tokyo, Japan
Relena laid her head down on her soft bedspread and sighed. Aramis. Her godson. Sylvia had died. Duo had died. Her two best friends were dead. She bit back tears. She couldn't do it. Couldn't take Aramis. She would die. She would think of her . . . their . . .
Heero . . . you didn't know . . . because I didn't tell you . . .
Tears stained the sheets and she bit back the sob that formed a lump in her throat.
"I didn't tell you about Gwenhywfer . . . about how we had a child . . . we could have had . . ." Relena gripped the sheets as pain ripped through her. She remembered the pain during her birth, the pain because the baby wasn't moving, the pain because the baby was dead and she had to do all the work.
Dead, Relena, you killed it because you overwork yourself.
Dead, Relena, because you can't handle having children.
Dead, dead, dead.
"I'm so worthless . . ." she sobbed to the ceiling.
Past Time
AC 201
Earth Foreign Relations Office Kaze
Tokyo, Japan
Wu Fei watched Relena from the room right above hers. The microphone and cameras from every angle made for pretty boring stuff. He didn't even listen to it because Relena had a horrible habit of talking to herself. It wasn't so bad, he got to hear all the plans she made before she made them, when he did bother to listen. It was enlightening in its own right; but on the whole, boring as all get-out.
Then he started making his pencil turn rubber by moving it in a seesaw pattern with his index finger and thumb.
By noon he was trying to balance it on his nose. Almost . . . almost . . . he thought to himself.
"Gosh, I'm already impressed. The guy that I looked up to does nothing, and I'm assigned his partner."
Wu Fei turned and twisted funny, causing his equilibrium to go nuts and his body to fall to the carpet. Right in front of a pair of nice feet, which led to equally nice ankles, very nice legs . . . and then Wu Fei woke up and realized that this was not a strange dream, but real life.
"If you're done ogling my assets, then perhaps I can introduce myself, Agent Chang." The girl was blushing faintly and Wu Fei felt his own skin get very warm. It was unusual for him to do such preaxolescent things like falling over or appreciating a woman's body. That had been Duo's niche.
"Pardon me, ma'am, but I'm afraid you need ident-," he began.
She held up a badge that labeled her as Kai-Ling O'Riley, Special Agent. "Hi, now that we've proven that I can be up in this exciting room, can we discuss Ms. Darlien/Peacecraft's current situation, analyze what we should do . . ." 'Kai' went on a rambling tangent of things that only rookies would think of, because they were unnecessary things to do.
"Ms. O'Riley, the 'Relena,'" he used his index and middle finger of both hands, in a Duo move, to pretend quotation marks. "Situation is the same it has always been. Relena makes laws, writes them, works out conference plans, discussions, treaties, signs things. That is the Relena Situation." Wu Fei found himself wishing that he hadn't sounded so crabby, because the girl looked downtrodden.
"But . . ."
Wu Fei sighed, "Look, I didn't get assigned to this position, I took it. Just like Trowa works the Colony security, just like Quatre offers his mansions. We are close, us thirteen." He found himself adding Duo and Sylvia, even though they weren't alive. At the same time he realized that after Sylvia and Duo died, they all had become closer. They all changed. With one small rock, ripples had been created, leading to a tighter bound kinship between the eleven of them left. Between even the outer people of their group. Dorothy, Hilde, and Midii, who'd come out of the woodwork to join the Preventers. They were all somehow a family, because none of them had family anymore. Aramis had been their son, and Duo and Sylvia their siblings.
Kai stared through the no-nonsense lenses of her glasses and looked blank. "So . . . you are working a case where your emotions are involved?"
Wu Fei rolled his eyes. "So is Lady, so is Zechs, so are half the people who work around Relena."
Kai's jaw dropped. "Do not refer to our Command-."
Wu Fei lifted a sarcastic black brow. "Apparently Lady wasn't here to tell you about your job personally. She must be at a conference."
Kai stared, her mouth still open.
Wu Fei sighed. Attractive or no, this rookie was going to take a lot of work.
Present Time
AC 204
Mannheim GeoCity Base
Deutschlandes (Austria, Denmark, Germany)
SafeHouse Six
Relena watched from the balcony of the GeoCity Base SafeHouse. Aquarius had taken Aramis to the park and now they both joined in the mass laughter. She almost allowed herself to believe that Trowa was just taking them to the park to be with his nephew and niece. She almost allowed herself to fall into the dream that her life was normal.
Almost.
Footsteps clicked on the terrace.
She didn't bother turning around. It was Heero or Wu Fei. Their soft footfalls were almost exactly alike.
"Relena."
She let her eyes close as the warm amber tone, like what whiskey would sound like if it were a voice, washed over her. Heero . . .
Heero watched Relena watching her girl. He debated joining her, then shot the delegation to Hell and sat down. The balcony chairs were gilded black, with soft, pastel flowered seats. "So . . . how are you this morning?" Great Heero, amazing opener.
Relena sipped her coffee thoughtfully. This was so odd. Quaint, as though they were people who saw one another every day. "I am well, I slept soundly last night, and y-"
Heero already saw her denial of anything happening last night coming, before it touched her lips. Relena had a way about her that wanted to protect people. In this case, it was Aquarius from being discovered as whatever she was. He hated that. Did Relena not trust him, did she not think he would risk life and limb for her happiness?
"Don't," he said emphatically. "Don't start with this Relena. We both were there last night, for whatever reasons. I know what I saw. I understand you don't want to discuss this, but I think it would be better for the both of you if you just-."
Relena still had her eyes trained on the park. "No, Heero, no. I will not tell you why Aquarius has the nightmares she has under stress. I will not tell you why some days she lives in terror, while others she is a social butterfly. It is not your-."
Heero already felt an anger building up. "Dammit, Relena, you have always been my concern! Don't you get that! Haven't you seen that! I have always loved you, and done what's best for-."
Relena bit her lip. The bile of distaste was boiling, and sudden her temper cracked. It might have been the lack of sleep from keeping a vigil over Aquarius last night, but for whatever reason, her anger exploded like nothing she'd ever experienced. "What's best for me!" she spat out, standing. "It's always what you think is best for me. Never what I know is best for me!" She slammed the now empty coffee cup on the stone table top; then Relena looked in complete horror at it; had she broken it? She'd never slammed anything. She'd never let her temper loose. And yet Heero always brought out the most tumultuous of emotions in her.
Heero stood up, eye to eye with her. "I have loved you for years. I have stayed out of your way because you didn't want me. I stayed away from you, but I kept Trowa on your back for those same lonely years. Wu Fei knew it, and he just shook his head. Hopefully, now that Kai and he have gotten passed the 'Do you like me, because I like you?' phase, he'll stop shaking his head. Don't you understand or even grasp how much I've wanted you by me? How astonished I was to discover that you didn't want something so wonderful as Aramis? How you just . . ." he stared at the table. "How you didn't want me after what we had. I know you must've thought I didn't want you, or a life with you, and I suppose that's why you stayed away when suddenly there was the chance. You probably thought I'd leave you alone with Aramis."
Heero pushed off the table. He felt empty.
Relena was shaking when he looked up. She was pale, her eyes deep and dark, and it was though she somewhere else, in the past. She bit her lip, trying to control herself. "I . . . couldn't . . . I . . . just . . . Gwenhywfer . . ."
And then, for the second time in his life, Relena Peacecraft/Darlian ran away from him.
Present
AC 204
Der Pastorale Park
Deutschlandes (Austria, Denmark, Germany)
Trowa watched Aquarius push Aramis on the swings. Aramis's long, impossibly blonde braid flailed behind, then in front of, behind, then in front of his body, and his childish hoots reached to the bench where Trowa sat.
Trowa smiled softly at the pair and thought, retrospectively, that Relena and Heero shouldn't have come together. Now, though, they could be married, with these two great kids.
And then another, darker thought crossed his mind. Gwenhywfer.
Trowa had been assigned to Relena before Wu Fei, mainly because Heero and he had become close friends sooner than Wu Fei. Thus, their trust was stronger. Trowa had noticed something wrong with Relena from day one of her 'bedrest' after she collapsed in Vien (Vienne). According to her personal doctor, there was nothing amiss other than running herself to the ground.
According to Trowa, there was something definitely wrong. Relena never collapsed, the one thing that made him respect her was Relena's self knowledge of her limits - she never overstepped them. So, all the sudden she faints?
He watched her carefully, watched her go from one month rest to becoming tediously ill. Relena, ill?
He kept those thoughts to himself, Heero had gotten 'She's just resting.' for a message. But now, something was really wrong. That worry began to blossom to truth as he caught up with Midii, who had trained as a doctor under the Preventers, and discovered that Relena was pregnant.
Trowa remembered how his stomach had suddenly felt as though someone had ripped it out and was dancing the tango on it.
Past Time
AC 198
Winner Mansion
Vien (Vienne)
Deutschlandes (Austria, Denmark, Germany)
Relena gently felt her protruding stomach. In one month she'd begin to feel kicking movements.
The door opened. "Midii?" Relena asked quietly from the bathroom. When no one answered, she stepped out into her room.
A tall shadow loomed before her, and she instinctively reached for a weapon.
"Relena, it's just me."
Trowa's voice, like the other pilots', had become indelible in Relena's mind. She couldn't understand how he managed to grow almost a foot in height since last year. And then it hit her. Trowa must have known, or he wouldn't have made an appearance. Unless it was Heero. Oh God, Heero, the baby wouldn't ever know it's . . .
Oh God.
Trowa was happy. His lips were in a soft smile. He wasn't here to be the harbinger, he was here to . . . congratulate.
She stepped forward, holding out a hand in a calming way. "Trowa . . . it's . . . it's not how-."
Trowa's eyebrows lifted. "How it looks?" He stepped up to Relena and led her to the table and chairs placed in the luxurious bedroom, and gently pushed her into a soft cushioned seat.
"Well . . ." she searched for something to say that would be intelligent.
"Truth be told, Relena," Trowa began, controlling the laughter from her obvious want to cover up what was definitely a pregnancy. "It's wonderful. Do you know that Sylvia and Duo and everyone else have been rooting for you and Heero for years? Everybody loves it. Well, for some of us, it took longer, but on the-."
Suddenly his words died off at the look in her eyes. Pure, unadultured fear. "Oh no. No. Trowa, you can't. This, this is a secret. No one can know the Vice Foreign Minister had a baby. Heero can't know he got me pregnant. No." She shook her head definitively.
Trowa looked at Relena, who looked somewhere between near tears and desperation. "But Heero . . ."
She nodded softly, "Heero would do the right thing, and marry me, even if it wasn't in his heart to marry me. He'd do it. He's not a heartless bastard, but on the other hand, his honor makes him look like one sometimes. Heero and I, I never expected him to love me. At least not the way I love him. His duty is something so profound, so multi-faceted, that it abases any feelings he might harbor for me other than lust."
That really shocked Trowa. So . . . Heero actually had . . . "It is Heero's baby . . ."
He realized how insane that sounded, especially in light of everything that he had been saying previously. But. Damn. It appeared that although he'd assumed it was Heero's offspring, that he hadn't really connected the two mental wires yet.
Relena fidgeted with the fabric of her maternity nightshirt. "Yes. It is Heero's and my baby."
Suddenly, Trowa felt as unknowledgable as a first grader. "But . . . when . . . how?"
Relena bit her lip. "Last year. He escorted me home one night, when I was in cognito. We had dinner, talked. I told him of my vacation so far. And then, well . . . you know the whole idea of the birds and the bees, Trowa."
Trowa was confused. Heero . . . had . . .
"I never asked him for forever. It was the fourth time we met that he and I, we, got pregnant."
Nevermind confused, outright flabbergasted defined how Trowa felt now. Four nights? Four?
"I wondered after two months, why no period? Then I ate better, because that has happened before, the body stops doing other functions under extreme stress; still no period. Then I collapsed. Thank god it was here, and not somewhere else. The paparazzi would go into a feeding frenzy. There are always rumors in scuzzy papers on 'Relena's Secret Pregnancy . . . with Yuy?' or 'Winner?' or 'Chang?' or 'Barton?' or even 'Maxwell?' That was the 'menage et trois expose;' supposedly, Sylvia and I loved one another and decided to 'share' Duo."
Trowa remembered that.
Four nights?
One look at Relena gave him all the information he needed. She didn't even realize what four nights spent with someone who couldn't stand having a roommate, much less someone in their bed meant.
Particularly when Heero was that someone.
Trowa had respected Heero, always, as someone who felt, but in an abstract, duty sort of way. Then, as Trowa had changed, Heero had become, less because of that.
And now, to discover that Heero had covered up his love of Relena so well so that she wouldn't be put in the spotlight.
Hot damn.
Because, frankly, Heero didn't, ever, strike him as a 'I'm feeling like having sex tonight, let's go out and hit on chicks so my libido is cooled' sort of guy. Or even a guy who'd be interested in having a meaningful, extensive, personal experience on that level with anyone, he'd just been through so much pain.
Holy shit.
To find out the supposed 'Emotionless Soldier' had spent four nights obviously doing something rated NC-17 with the girl that he had a 'crush' on . . . now that took on a new texture.
Wait . . .
"How come only four nights?" Trowa asked, realizing the odd tone the question took.
Relena looked down. "I got very busy after the two months together. I wondered if he thought I disliked him, or what . . . we did . . ."
Two months. Two months beginning at her vacation would be . . . Trowa felt his mind click. Two months exactly after Relena and Heero's first night was the day that Heero had asked Trowa to tail her. Now Trowa understood the sadness in Heero's eyes. Now he understood the strange, almost tortured twinge of Heero's voice when he had asked Trowa to do him a favor. Oh damn Heero, do you know what she feels for you.
