Frist Love Lost
Chapter 2:"I Can't Live Without Her"
To my (Very few) reviewers, Thank You
D.Montgomery: Yay, the first review for this story. Here's your update.
smirker:Wow, that's the most praise I've ever gotten...your making me blush;) And gasp my writing style? Wow no one's ever complemented my writing style before, Thanks for all your complements. (With my luck I'll try to hard now and srew up;P
Authors Note:First off, for the sake of this chapter, let's just say Raven can go into her mind without using her magic mirror, it just takes alot of concentration.
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Raven opened her eye's to a blinding light. It took her a moment to remember the previous days occurances. It took all her will power not to lose control and breakdown crying. She looked around, they had given her a seditive to calm her down, so she had no idea where she was, her heart sunk. She was in the maximum security cell, and she was wearing braclets that looked like they were made of the same material that Mad-Mod had used to suppress her powers.
Just then the door opened and Starfire walked in, she looked better, it was obviouse she was still upset and she also just finished crying, but still, better.
She smiled at Raven "How are feeling friend Raven?"She asked in her cheerful tone.
This was a much harder question to answer then it sould have been, as Raven thought of the past little while she was convinced she must have split personalities, one moment she was feeling embaresed and guilty, she had her most humiliating moment in front of her friends and now they had to help her, she was nothing but an inconvinence, the next she felt, angre with herself, how could she even think of ending her own life, and in front of her friends no less, and the next moment she wanted with every fiber of her being to dash past Starfire, find the first object with a sharp edge and slit her wrists...
Starfire looked at her friend as she awaited her answer, instead Raven started biting her lip, hard, hard enough to draw blood. "Stop!"Star shouted at Raven, she just looked at Star strange, then she brought her hand up to her lip and pulled it away, as soon as she saw the blood she fell to the floor crying.
"Friend, please, what is wrong? we are still very confused as to why you...did what you did..."Starfire trailed off. By now Raven had regained her composure, just in time for the rest of the titans arrival.
"Are you ready to explain your actions?"Robin asked in a concerned version of his 'leader' voice. Raven looked around the room, then at the floor she was still laying on "Maybe"
"Yes or no Raven"
"Depense what you want to know.."She was still looking at the floor.
"I want to know why you tryed to kill yourself and what Terra has to do with it, it sounded like..."He trailed off, he didn't want to upset her, and chances are it would, if it were false or if they were suddenly living in bizzaro world and it was true, it would still hurt.
"It's a long story"Raven said as she got up off the floor and walked to the bed in the room and sat down.
"We have time"Cyborg said"As much as you need"
Raven sighed, how did she get into this, they promised they would tell them together, but...
"It stated a couple of days after Terra returned" Raven started her story and everyone gave her there full undivided attention.
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Raven was on the roof, it was morning, she loved sunrises almost as much as she loved sunsets. She was meditating, saying those three magic words(Literally) over and over.
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos, Azarath Metrion Zinthos" She loved the peace and quiet of mornings on the roof of titans tower, she was never disturbed, well, she used to never be disturbed.
"Pretty" She heard a voice behind her say, Raven instantly recognized it as beloging to the recent arrival.
"Yes, it is"Raven said simply, the less words she used the less the other person had to start a conversation with.
"You come up here every morning?"Terra asked somewhat akwardly.
"Every morning"Terra wasn't taking the hint.
"And you just meditate?"Her topics of conversation were thin at best
"Terra"
"Yes"She looked at Raven attentivly
"What do you want?"The blond haired girls face fell
"Nothing...see at breakfast"Terra said solemnly as she trudged off to the staircase
"Azarath Metrion Zinthos"
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It was the next day and Raven was once again on the roof meditating, and just as she was reaching her center...
"Uh, Raven"Terra said in an uneasy voice 'Just like clock work'Raven thought bitterly, 'Every day since she's been back...and at just the right time to screw me up...'
"What is it Terra?"Raven said in her usual monotone, with her eye's still closed tight.
"Can I...can I join you?"She asked uneasily, this got Raven to open her eye's in shock.
"Is this why you've been coming up here every morning?"Raven aked, never looking at the girl, though she could sence that she turned away sheepishly.
"No"She said quickly"Well...maybe...so...can I?"Terra was obviously nervous, this made Raven slightly suspicious
"Why"Raven asked simply
Terra seemed to struggle on this for a moment "Well...you and Starfire do...sometimes."
"Because we spent some time in each others body"Raven explained
"Is that like a metiphore for something"Terra asked with a stupid grin on her face, the grin disepeared the moment she heard the answer.
"No literally, a criminal accidentily switched our bodies..."She could almost hear all the humor leave the area.
"Oh" Terra was not expecting that"You still haven't answerd my question"She was obviously trying to regain some of her composure by glossing over her stupid remarks "Can I?"
"Suit yourself" Raven said motioning to the space to her left, Terra smiled and walked over she sat down, it was slightly akward, her siting on the ground and Raven hovoring so that her legs were at the same level as Terra's eye's, sencing that this was not what Terra wanted Raven lowered herself intill she was only inches off the ground.
Terra smiled "Thanks"
"Don't mention it.."
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"Hey, Raven..."Terra came up behind her in the main room
"Yes, Terra?"
"You doing anything tonight?"Terra's voice was a little shaky, before Raven could open her mouth to ask 'Why' Terra explained "I's just I found this great tea and coffee place in town, and I was wondering if you wanted to go...with me"Raven had found out, much to her surprise that Terra was quite the tea conesuer, she had tried almost as many tea's as she had.
"...Sure why not"Raven answered, she was greated by a one of Terra's great smile, every time she agreed with some thing Terra said, or agreed to do some thing with her, she got a huge great smile arcoss her face, it was getting to the point that Raven was willing to agree with her just to she her smile...Raven didn't know what was up with that...it was strange...but when Terra smile at her...she felt warm inside, and that was saying something, since Raven always felt cold inside, it was like Terra melted the ice that flowed through her veins.
"Great, I'll see you tonight"
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It was a nice place, hidden it a not-so-nice part of town, but not in an industrial area or any thing, it didn't look like much on the outside, just an old brick building, but on the inside...everything was wood, and nice wood, polished to a nice shine, it had a nice feel to it, like someone's private den.
"Cool..."Was all Raven could say as she basked in the warm comfort that seemed to radiate from every surface of the shop.
"Yea, isn't it..."Terra said as she too took in the warmth "Come on, lets get a table..."
As soon as they were seated a waitress appeared and took there order, Raven had a herbal tea, while Terra had a Green tea.
"Happy Valentine's Day!" Terra said suddenly with a large smile on her face.
'That's right' Raven thought 'Today's the 14th'
"Is that why you brought me here today" Raven said, not hearing the words until after they left her mouth.
Terra's smile faltered, it was replaced by a nervous look "What do mean?"
'What do you mean? I'd like to know that aswell' Raven thought, she had no idea why she had said that...or why her face felt so hot.
"Its just...we've been spending alot of time together...and on Valentine's Day you take me to a romantic little tea shop...it's interesting, that's all" Raven ended with a coy smile across her face, Terra looked somewhat panicked now, she wasn't the only one. 'What the hell is going on!' Raven thought, 'Terra looks confused, but she's nowhere near as confused as me, I understand less about what I'm saying then she does, it must be an over active emotion. Damn and I don't don't have my mirror, it would be to difficult to find out which emotion is doing this to me...' Just then Raven got a flash, a vision of an emotion...and it all made sense.
"Terra?"Raven asked, regaining control over her body "Do you love me?"
Terra looked utterly dumbfounded, but nodded 'yes' "How long have you known?" She asked sadly, if Raven rejected her now(Which was more then likely) then she would never get to spend any time with her ever again, and that thought was scarring the life right out of her.
"For about a minute"Raven replied truthfully
Terra looked somewhat shocked, then her face turned somewhat quizikle, like she was trying to ask something but couldn't. Raven knew instantly what it was and brought a hand up to stop Terra.
"Frist" Raven started "Why me? Of everyone for you to have feelings for, why me?"
Terra looked at Raven for a moment, then one of her great smile's that Raven loved so much spread across her face. "Your smart"She started "I've never seen someone read so much and you remember all of it too...your caring"Terra saw Raven opening her mouth to object so quickly added "And don't pretend you not...I spent more time with you in the last three weeks then everyone else combined...I've seen your caring side..."Then the smile grew and she added "Plus your really hot"
Raven nearly choked on her tea at that last coment, this provoked a giggle from Terra.
"So..."Terra said her face turning serious "Do you?"She looked at the table, she was afriad what the answer would be.
"Ya know, this is just as surprising to me but I'm pretty sure I do" Raven said with a smirk, the smile she recieved from Terra made all previous one's look insignificant.
"Really?"
Raven smiled her first ever full smile and repleid "Yes...Terra, I love you..."
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The titans were all shocked by the story.
"No it can't be..."Beastboy said backing into a wall in the back of the cell.
"Sorry Beastboy..."Was all Raven could say as she shifted her gaze to the floor.
"I wont beleive it! Terra was in love with me! And even if she wasn't she would never go for some one like yo--"
"Beastboy thats enough!"Robin shouted, cutting off Beastboy who looked furious
Robin turned back to Raven, she had tears in her eye's. "Is that the truth?"
Raven nodded slightly "Why would I lie?" She said weakly
"I don't know, you tell me!"Beastboy pipped bitterly.
Robin just turned to glar at beastboy, he turned back to Raven "So why didn't you...you know...when she was first turned to stone?"
"My books...I was sure that there was something in one of my spellbooks that could bring her back to me, I found a spell a week after she was...it took since then to get all the materials, I tried it yesterday..."Raven burst into tears"It didn't work" She managed to squeezed out before sobs over took her.
"'She's gone, I didn't want to beleav it, but..' That's what you said in the living room yesterday..."Robin said remembering the previouse day's events.
The sobs quieted enough so that Raven could respond "I can't live without her...I won't live without her..."
"...You really loved her didn't you...?"Starfire asked quietly.
Raven nodded between sobs. "I just can't stand the pain anymore..."Raven still couldn't look any of her friends in the face as the tears fell down hers "I miss her so much, it get's worse everyday...the only thing that's kept me going is the glimmer of hope there was for a cure...now that thats gone..."Raven dashed suddenly, she tried to get by all the titans, she caught them by surprise so for the most part it was easy, but she was stopped by Starfire. "Get out of my way Star"Raven snarled, she only had one goal in mind, find something with a sharp sdge to end her misery...
"Friend...if I let you go...will you attempt to harm yourself again...?"Starfire asked this with tears in her eyes.
"Out of my way!"Raven said each word slowly and delibritly
"Friend, I don't want to hurt you, but I will if it will stop you from hurting yourself..."Starfire said as her hands started to glow green energy
Raven looked furious, then her face sofened, it looked as she was choking, then she fell, sobing into Starfire's arms. "I can't live without her!"She choked out. Starfire just held her.
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Authors note:Well what did you think? It will start to lighten up now.
