Page 4 of 4

Ch. 12

His lips traveled down her neck and pulled up on her blouse. His black hair falling in his eyes and her large green eyes alight with passion. He could feel the heat rising in him and he was a little surprised at what he felt. He didn't know he could feel like this. He had never truly known love until he found her. His family hated him, his life felt like one whirlpool of despair and darkness. When he met her he found the light, it seemed. She was there, she loved him, she would always be there for him, and more than anything she wanted him as much as he wanted her.

The sweat was pouring down the bare skin on his back and chest and he could almost see the steam rising off of them as they lay there in the empty Greenhouse, in the dead of night. He couldn't believe it when she had told him what she wanted to do…but that didn't mean he was going to say no. There was no way he would pass up this chance. She looked so beautiful lying there beneath him…her pale skin bathed in moonlight, her rich hair fanned out under her and a body that most girls would kill for… "Sirius…" She whispered and he felt a tingle go through him when she said his name. He kissed her, silencing her, though he didn't know why. It was almost as if he didn't want to be who he was, as if he didn't want the first time he was with her for it to be him, as if he wanted to be someone else…

Xenia ran her hands through his long black hair and finally he let her go gasping for breath. "I love you." She said staring into his large brown eyes.

Sirius stopped. That was what he didn't want her to say. He didn't even know why, he loved her too, but he just…he just couldn't now. He got up not even getting his shirt as he ran out of the greenhouse.

Xenia was left blinking uncertain of what just happened. She pulled her own shirt back on and took his. The girl ran a hand through her hair and cleaned up a little before exiting the greenhouse.

The lawns were bathed in moonlight, but Sirius was nowhere to be seen. The girl sighed, knowing he had probably become the big black dog that he was so akin to. After looked around to see for certain that no one was around she leapt into the air and suddenly a golden red phoenix appeared soaring over the forest. She flew up to her dormitory window and peaked inside. No one was there so she went on to the next window that was the boys' dorm. They were all in there along with Lily and Erin. Xenia pecked on the window and Lily immediately got up and opened it. "Xenie? What's wrong? I thought you were with Sirius?"

Everyone else was surprised at this revelation and was equally astonished when Xenia appeared sitting on the windowsill. "I don't know what happened. One second we were kissing and stuff and the next he just ran. I don't know what happened." She shrugged and bit her lip.

James sighed. "Come on, Erin, let's go find our little feral friend."

Erin nodded and got up. It was strange that James should suddenly ask her to do this. Or even really talk to her, but it was how things were. Erin looked up. "Lily, what can you turn into?"

Lily blushed and looked down. "I can turn into a unicorn." She whispered.

Harry looked around. "Ok, that's it, Erin, I want to be an Animagus."

"Sure." Erin said following James out of the dorm. "We'll talk when I get back."

Harry nodded. Everyone around him could turn into an animal, he was feeling a bit left out, and it did look like it would be interesting to become an Animagi.

Erin and James changed at the edge of the forest. Erin, of course, turned into the sleek black wolf and James turned into a not quite full-grown stag. They ran through the forest and Erin was able to pick up his scent easily. James followed her lead and they finally found Sirius at the edge of a small pond tossing stones in and looking distinctly disconcerted. He was back into his human form and only wearing a pair of jeans and sneakers. He was bare from the waist up, but it didn't seem to be bothering him, at least Erin couldn't detect any hint of him being cold. Erin appeared and James beside her. "Sirius, mate, what's wrong?"

Sirius didn't even look up. He had heard them approach and had known they were there. He didn't speak and it was very obvious he was either ignoring them or couldn't speak. Erin sat down beside him and put her arm around him, which he promptly pulled away from her. James sat on his other side. Sirius growled some at them. "You can't take us both." Erin said matter-of-factly.

He didn't find it funny, but it was hard to tell if Erin meant it or not. "Look, Sirius, Xenia told us what happened. We're here for you, man, just tell us what's going on."

"How did she get up there so fast?" Sirius asked still not looking at them.

"Mum's a Animagi, Dad." Erin said. "She's a Phoenix and Lily's a Unicorn."

He snorted. "Figures. She beats me up for not telling her and she keeps this from me."

"You're not mad at Xenia." James sighed. "You're just trying to pretend you are. Now what's wrong? Ever since the school year started you've been trying to have a tumble with her, now she wants to and you just leave her there? That's not the Sirius I know, mate, it's me, Sirius and it's Erin. Tell us."

Sirius sighed and stretched out one of his legs before he spoke. "I'm not the guy she deserves." He finally said. "She deserves someone that's whole and unscarred…"

"But she's scarred too." Erin whispered. "You two are the same."

Sirius couldn't really deny that. "I hate my parents, I hate my brother…they never loved me, either." He shrugged. "I could deal with that…but having a girl that her family is the same…where could we turn if we needed someone? I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore without being reminded about who I am and how much I wish I wasn't a Black."

"You have us." James said. "Me, Lily, Remus, Peter…you'll always have us, mate. You'll always be my brother. Hey, you can stay with me as long as you want. My parents love you; they treat you just like a second son! And you know that Xenia has been kipping with Lily during the holidays. Her parents are so 'ashamed' of her, just because she got into Gryffindor and because she's denounced the whole pureblood stuff that they just threw her out too."

"What?" Sirius asked. He hadn't known that.

"Yeah, didn't she tell you?" James asked. "She went home after last year and her and her parents got into this whole argument over Lily and about you, mate. They told her that you were a blood traitor and she was forbidden to see or speak with either of you again. You know Xenia, she wouldn't take something like that, so she told them off and told them exactly what she thought about them and their mania and she also told them that she loved you and she was going to continue seeing you and Lily was her best friend and nothing would ever change that. So they threw her out, they didn't think she had anywhere to go. She went to Lily's and Lily's parents took her in. They told her not to worry and that she was always welcome to stay with them."

"I didn't know." Sirius said standing up and pacing. "I don't want to be a Black."

"She doesn't want to be a Lyancomp." James countered.

"I don't want to be a part of this pureblood mania that my parents have been shoving down my throat, just like their parents did and like this prat, Lord Voldemort, is doing."

"Neither does Xenia."

"I want to be with her…but I realized tonight that I wanted it to be special…not just because we're hormone driven teenagers…we're only 14…we still have three years until we're old enough to get married…"

"So you do want to marry her?" James asked smirking.

"James, do you or do you not see our daughter sitting next to you?" Sirius asked him with a scowl.

James actually grinned at Erin and she grinned back. "I see her, she's just as brash and uncouth as you are. A pureblood that hates the mania and absolutely loves our furry little problem and for some reason she's modest…which I don't know where that comes from." James laughed. "You certainly know you're good looking and Xenia knows she is too. So where Erin got her reserved countenance from, I have no idea."

Erin rolled her eyes. "Ok, you're as bad as Harry. I am pretty, but I am not as good looking as you say I am, so just stop." She warned him.

Sirius sighed. "Luv, I may just be a very proud father, but you have been gifted with the looks of both the Blacks and the Lyancomps and that is saying something. James, I don't want to hear it. I have to talk to Xenia…explain things to her. I can just imagine what she's going through."