I'm back. Yet again. Yeah. Well... Thank you Shrilanka-San for reviewing- and I like your idea. However, I already wrote this chapter before, and it follows with the non plot I have... so I'll try to bring it in in another chapter. I like your idea! evil smile Okay, so enjoy!


Part Two: Socks and Butt Wars

Disclaimer: Never owned Yu-Gi-Oh! and never will.

"HIYAH!" cried out Alister in a high-pitched voice few thought he'd be able to make, swinging a red dog toy through the air. The toy hit a tied up bunch of socks and landed onto the floor, rolling about a foot away from his knees.

"How many more do I have to get by you?" Valon asked, catching the socks Alister tossed over. He was leaning against the living room sofa, contemplating where to throw the socks next.

Alister repositioned himself in a batter's stance, holding the dog toy by its legs. Technically, it was shaped as Mickey Mouse's trousers- complete with the buttons. However, they all called it by its proper name: Mickey's Butt. "Two more."

Valon frowned, tossing the socks through the air. Alister predictably swung to hit it, but it fell short and bounced behind him. "I thought it was only once more."

"Well, now it is."

Rafeal looked up from behind his magazine, frowning himself. "Are you guys playing that stupid game again?"

"Yeah, so?" Alister swung again, and predictably missed. With a growl he exchanged items with Valon.

With a shake of his head, Rafeal turned back to his article. "Nothing."

The socks fell onto the floor a foot away from Valon's knees. "Hmm," the brunette mused to himself, fixing his grip on the butt, "I think the butt's losin' its fluff."


In the large confines of his business office, Dartz rested comfortably back into a high-back chair. In front of him sat a computer, which was currently keeping itself occupied by uploading a virus in the mainframe of Kaiba Corp.'s computer. Smiling wickedly, Dartz's eyes flicked to the security screens from cameras all over the building. In the one closest to him, his three minions were hitting back and forth a pair of socks while one sat and read yet another motorcycle magazine.

But Dartz's wasn't fooled. Even though his brain couldn't figure out WHY they had a dog toy when there was no DOG, he wasn't distracted... no... He could tell by the way Valon swung the dog toy and hit the socks that they were planning something... They were planning to get back at their own boss. sniff

Not that they were going to get the chance. Nope- Dartz had a plan of his own. And it involved the new items he had purchased this morning...


"Alister! Come up here at once- now!" Dartz's drawling voice came over into the room. The inhabitants jumped at the suddenness of its arrival and landed in one large pile. Naturally, poor Alister was stuck at the bottom.

Muffled groans and cries was barely heard under the bulks of Valon and Rafeal. The two received punches and kicks in the gut as Alister made his protesting more... vocal. "Thank you for getting off of me," Alister mumbled, ignoring the groans from his colleagues, "I'm going upstairs now." With a swipe at a bit of dust that had collected at the collar of his trench coat and Alister stalked out of the room.

Valon was the first to roll over from his stomach to his back. "And I thought that sissy couldn't 'urt a fly..," he muttered. For the first time in forever, the aussie wished he hadn't eaten lunch. It just made him feel more nauseous after being punched in the stomach. "Ugh... I don't feel so good..."

The large blond mumbled something and stretched as far as he could with his fingertips to get at his magazine. He knew he wasn't going anywhere for awhile- unlike Valon, he had gotten his share of Alister's punches before and he was used sort of to the after effects- and he might as well make himself as comfortable as possible.


Alister opened the door to Dartz's office slowly, unsure at what he would find. He figured he could deal with grinning skulls dripping wax from candles, skeletons, hanging off of chains on the walls, webs and all other manner of ghoulish items- but not this. Not the neat business desk with every part neat and orderly, the clean white carpet or even the pale blue walls.

Dartz himself lounged in his high-back chair, headphones draped elegantly over his head, the wire leading to a cd player on the desk. His head bopped in time with he music, hair becoming even more of a mess. The song didn't last long and Alister was shortly waved in. He motioned to a chair facing the desk, but Alister shook head- he wasn't about to sit down in another chair in front of his boss. Not after what happened last time, no way Jose.

"You said you wanted me, sir?" the redhead asked politely.

Dartz smiled, removing the headphones in a graceful move. So this was their plan of revenge- to act polite and drive him crazy? Well it wasn't going to work! "That's right- I did." Taking his time getting into a more comfortable position and straightening his hair, Dartz drawled on, "I was wondering what the effect of glue and feathers would do to oneself. It'd be heck on hair, I know... but..."

"Hm... I'm sure it'd be heck on one's clothing and skin too," Alister added quietly. He didn't know where this was going, but it didn't sound too good... and as if the mere mention of such torturing items weren't enough- then the sudden twinkle in the white-haired man's eyes were.

Dartz nodded eagerly, "Yes- I figured that. Common sense. But you see, I just wanted to be sure that my instincts were right. Do you understand?"

"Uh- of- of course..."

"Good. Catch!"

A medium-sized jar was thrown by Dartz and was barely caught by a started Alister. The top was apparently loose, as it had flown off, allowing its contents to spill out. The gooey material coated Alister's face, hair and basically every part of him from the waist up. A good portion, however, dripped down to his pants.

"Nice catch. Try this!" Dartz cried out again, flinging a large bunch of feathers fist full after fist full after fist full at Alister. By the time he was done, Alister looked like a rainbow-colored turkey. "Okay- when it's dry tell me how it was trying to get it all out- I'm curious, you know."

Just short of crying- the poor neat freak knew it was going to take forever a very painful forever to get all of the glue and feathers off- Alister made his slow, forlorn way out of the office.


"HYAH!"

Rafeal flipped a page in his magazine, even though he couldn't remember having completely read and understood the article on the last page. Ever since Alister had went up to his room after denying Valon a rematch fist fight although really, a punch in the stomach wasn't much of a fight, Valon had been 'practicing.' Or, as Rafeal put it, annoying the heck out of anyone unfortunate enough to be in the same room with him.

"HYAH!"

With a sigh, Rafeal dropped the magazine to the floor. No reading for him today, apparently. He watched as the brunette kicked the rolled up socks into the air and went about keeping it up in the air by way of kicking it and/or punching it. "Is that how you practice fighting..?" the blond muttered.

Valon caught the socks in one hand. "Well, Dartz almost killed me the one time I tried to practice against one o' you two." Throwing it back up, he muttered to himself- sort of, he did shoot a teasing glance at Rafeal at one point - "And ya think he'd be glad that I tried to teach ya both some moves... pansies."

"Oh really?"

And after a challenge like that- sort of- how could they refuse the chance to beat each other's brains out?


Dartz giggled to himself as he watched the unfortunate Alister dump his feathered clothes in the laundry hamper. Having just come out of the shower, the redhead had plenty of time to lose the unhappy face and get peeved. Glaring at anything around him- which wasn't much, just a washing machine and dryer- Alister stalked out of the laundry room to the outside hallway, an unknown feather fluttering in the air off of a lock of hair.

Kaiba would be laughing his head off, Dartz decided on, remembering Alister's obsession to beat Seto Kaiba. His eyes flickered to the screen next to where Alister was in, and caught sight of Valon giving Rafeal a nuggy. That'll give Rafeal a long time to fix. Hmmm... maybe I could change his hair get with some glue... The blond finally got a grip on the Australian and proceeded to give him a nuggy of his own. Maybe I'll do that to Valon's hair gel. It'd be amusing to see him have his hair down after finally getting the glue out- heh, he'd look like a shepherd dog!

Nah... better stick to the plan. With a sigh- evil ideas just wouldn't stop popping into his head- Dartz flipped the loudspeaker switch to on.


"Rafeal, a word with you please, if you don't mind."

The blond paused for the briefest of seconds, even though Valon was squirming in his grip and almost getting loose, and sighed again. Geez, their boss never let them have any fun... Letting Valon fall to the floor- and ignoring the protests- Rafeal left the room to go 'have a word' with his boss.


Five minutes later and the poor guy was running- not shuffling, like Alister had- but RUNNING to his room, in fear that either Alister or Valon would see him. He didn't even want to fathom what the two would say if they saw him like this... No... better not chance it.


"Run, Rafeal, run!" Dartz cried out in the empty room, flinging his arms up like an obsessed football fan. A large bowl of popcorn sat in his lap, half empty. Some of its contents fell to the floor at the motion. Oh, it was soooo much fun to shock him using that old buzzer of his. And then glitter his hair- it had even spiked from the electricity! Poor Rafeal, his life will never be the same after trying to smooth down three inch spikes of hair full of glitter that gets on EVERYTHING.

Now... for the Australian...


Valon tossed the socks up into the air and deftly caught it again. Both of his friends had confined themselves into their rooms, ignoring all insults, challenges, the likes. Not even Mai was around! sniff

Immensely bored, the brunette rolled over onto his side, flipping through the pages of Rafeal's discarded magazine. Why Rafeal bothered with the motorcycle articles at all- although the maintenance ones were useful, the rest were annoying- when the good parts were in the middle was beyond him.

"Valon- you're turn."

With a sigh- this magazine had much better pictures than the others Rafeal had collected over the centuries- Valon clambered to his feet and walked his slow bored way to Dartz's office.


In a record time, the brunette was rushing back into his room, unbeknowstly like Rafeal. Unlike his colleague, however, Valon was seeing red around the edges; Dartz was going to pay for this.


He. Was. Going. To. Pay...

Dartz replaced his headphones over his sleek white hair, the melody already playing. Ah, Beethoven... such a sweet, calming melody after torturing rebels... He thought unconsciously, thinking over the various schemes he had accomplished in this short day... Glue and feathers... electricity... and humiliation mixed with glitter and nail polish.

Smiling evilly, Dartz tried to blow dry his nails that Valon had all too graciously painted on for him... after trying to demonstrate on his own hands and feet...


I'd like to also mention that I used stuff from Mickey Mouse, and I sure don't own that either. Okay... yeah... Oh, and I'm sorry that the tortures weren't so grand, but... I kinda ran out of nonthreatening but humiliating ideas. Please review- I love gettin' em!