THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR REVIEWING! The parantheses wasn't working agian... so if something sounds really strange- that's probably why. Ahem... Note: No squirrels were armed in the making of this... chapter.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything that ain't mine, including the Barbie Song
The door to the 'Living Room', or as the only female blond in the entire building called it, the 'Wrestling Room.' Why the wrestling? Mostly because Valon insisted on arguing with everybody on every little thing. And if it wasn't over an argument, then it was over the teasing. Honestly- someday they're going to put a hole in the wall and get killed by Dartz. That'll teach 'em.
Now, however, the room was eerily empty. Not even Rafeal was flipping through the latest motorcycle magazine. Which suited Mai Valentine juuuuuuuuuuuuuust fine. She could easily avoid a certain brunette in this room- not only were there two ways in and out, but you could hear another person coming from a mile away. Smiling to herself, she pushed the door open wider and took a step inside... only to find the carpeted floor rush up towards her face.
"Gotcha this time, Alister! You lose!"
Why is this happening to me? What did I ever do to deserve this! With a growl, the infuriated Mai whipped her attacker off of her and pinned him to the ground. She should have known who'd it be...
"Where the 'ell did you learn that mo... mo..." The stammers slowly died away, unlike the sudden rush of heat to the certain brunette's face. Inches above him, lovely mouth curled up in a sneer, eyes narrowed to slits, was his love. Mai. Oh dear... "Uh-um... Hullo, Mai..."
"Valon," The sound of her voice was just as cruelly beautiful as the look on her face. "What are you doing in here?" Reluctantly, she let the boy go. Cleaning herself off, she left him down on the floor, red as a crayola's red crayon and still stammering incoherent words. "Aren't you goin' to get up?" she asked dryly, enjoying the louder stammers and sudden scurry of limbs as the brunette hurried to get up... Only to fall flat onto his back.
"I, uh... sorry 'bout the uh... um... 'ow are you today, Mai?"
"I've been better," Mai answered with a shrug. She swept her hair back, walking off to get her latest paperback novel off the end table. "And now if you don't mind- I have some reading to catch up to." That ought to get rid of him for a while.
"Oh! Um... well, look, Mai," Valon scrambled to his feet, hoping to keep her from leaving. He swore he'd do this today and if he didn't.. then he was a pansy. shudder Somehow, he managed to stay up this time, even though his brain wasn't working... "I was- um- jest wondrin'... uh.. jest wondrin' if you'd like to someday..."
Good God no... Mai shuddered inwardly, horrified. He was going to ask her out. Good god... HELP! "I hav'ta go now, Valon- see ya around." Waving a hand over her shoulder at him, she hurried off, ignoring the protests behind him.
Feeling rejected, the brunette watched helplessly as the door slid closed behind her. What is the matter with me! With a sigh, he trudged off towards his room, leaving the Living Room by the other exit. Idiot, idiot, idiot... the mental tirade continued keeping time with his shuffling feet. Little details passed by him that would usually have made some difference on any other day... like how the door to his room was open...
"WATCHA!" For the fortieth time that day, Valon found the floor hurtling towards his face- that finally got his attention. And if that didn't, then being pinned to the ground roughly and having his arms being held in an uncomfortable position did.
Gritting his teeth, Valon used any single technique he had learned from years of disciplinary school fights, growling, "Al...is...ter... Gerroff!"
"Don't think so, little Aussie!" Alister let Valon twist anyways he wanted; there was no way he was getting loose. Poor guy needed to learn new tricks- his old ones were easy to counter! "Say Uncle."
"Never!"
"Say it..."
"GRRRR..."
"I know you want to say it... Might as well get it over with..."
Outside the doorway, Rafeal passed by, caught sight of the two wrestling away, shook his head and hurried off again. If they put another hole in the room, Dartz was going to kill them. Heck, Dartz was gonna kill them any day now! He couldn't hold back the odd comment, though, and as he hurried off, he called behind him, "Forget it, Alister! You're not going to get him to give up on anything!"
"That's what you say, Rafeal! This time I got him and he ain't goin'- ugh!" Alister, having been distracted by the blond's helpful comment, caught all of Valon's sudden thrash into his chest. Good-bye air, hello pummeling. Two seconds later, still trying to get his breath back and the Aussie had him pinned to the floor. Drat.
Smiling and feeling much better than two minutes ago, Valon kept Alister's halfhearted struggles to a minimum by holding down his arms. Alister really needed to work on his escape techniques. Really, really, really NEEDED to. "Wha' was it you were sayin', Alister? OH! You wanted to say Uncle, righ'?"
"Va...lon..."
He clicked his tongue and gave a short shake of his head. Silly boy. "Say it- you'll be a different shade o' blue, I can tell ya that."
"Back to wrestling already, Valon? Hmph, figures." Leaning against the door frame, paperback in hand, was Mai with that strange half-smile on her face. It was strange... She was going to go read her book outside in the fresh air and think about how to defeat Wheeler, but instead she had come up here... And found Valon and Alister wrestling yet again. Figures- never follow your instincts, they get you no wheres.
"Ah... h-hullo again, Mai," Valon stammered out, facing lighting up like a red street light. I'm trying to stay away from 'red as a tomato' simile "Weren't you goin' ta... uh... read your book?"
Mai lifted the paperback up, smiling widening a bit. Leave it to Valon to be unobservant. "I decided to go to my room instead of outside. Anyways... See ya 'round, honey." With a quick smile and swish of her hair and she was striding off down the hallway. It was so easy to leave like that- and so enjoyable to watch people's faces!
Using the precious moment against Valon like the Australian had used against him, Alister knocked the brunette off of him and onto the floor. "You feeling okay, or has the Mai bug been goin' around again?" Oh, how much fun you could get out of teasing this love-sick puppy! "Well, Valon?"
"Shut up, Alister!"
"Oh! So I'm right then?"
"I'm warning you..."
"Mai and Valon sittin' in a tree- K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes-"
"GRRRR!" One tackle later and the now red with fury Valon was trying unsuccessfully to shut the redhead formerly known as Alister up. The two scrambled around on the floor, one growling like a rabid dog, the other 'singing.' "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"
This has better be good; he's missing his 'free day' for this. Why couldn't have this happened yesterday when the three of them were gone? Honestly- whatever had caused this breach in security should have tried it out yesterday. They would have gotten a nasty surprise, but hey- it would've made more sense.
"Sir!" Dartz glanced over his shoulder to see Rafeal hurrying after him. Now what? He soon found out as the blond finally caught up with him and continued, trying not to make his exhaustion noticeable, "They're saying its dangerous sir. Maybe you should-"
"Oh for crying out loud, Rafeal- how many G.I Joe movies have you been watching lately?" Dartz cut him off quickly- the last time he had let Rafeal suggest something, it had included Jell-O, toothpaste and spam. "Whatever it is, they practically walked in through the front door. How dangerous could it be?"
"Uh, sir... That doesn't make any sense..."
"Just open the door, Rafeal!"
With a sigh the blond did as he was told, awaiting for some blow to come. Nothing. Sunlight streamed in on the two, as did airborne leaves from the gentle wind. Nothing. Growing impatient- or already there- Dartz asked unnecessarily, "Well- where is it?"
"Chi-chi... chi-chi!" The two men looked down at the ground, where, chewing on an acorn, was a little, harmless squirrel. "Chi... chi-chi..."
"A... squirrel broke through the security system?" Dartz needlessly said out loud. "A little... SQUIRREL! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" Deeply irritated that HIS TIME was being wasted for a PATHETIC SQUIRREL, Dartz did the utterly unthinkable. He went to kick it.
The squirrel's dark eyes went wide, but it jumped nimbly out of the strange dark thing's way. The acorn tumbled out of its mouth, and the poor mammal watched it fall onto the dirty, ucky, ground... NOOOOOOOO! 'Chi-chi'ing angrily, the squirrel took an amazing jump into the air... heading straight for the White-haired tall thing.
Dartz blinked in surprise as the squirrel- annoying thing- jumped straight at his head. It landed onto his chest and began its climb up to his hair. "AIEE! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFFFFFFF!" The tiny claws of the animal skirted over him as the squirrel dodged the hands and clung on to keep from falling.
Finally, his brain clicked into what direction to run screaming in and he took off- leaving a very bewildered Rafeal blinking in the dusty wake. "SQUIRREL! GET IT OFFF! GET IT OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!"
"Hm? What's that?" Alister held off Valon's punches easily- sort of, he almost got punched in the face at least twenty times- until the Australian slowly stopped, having heard the same shouting as the redhead.
The two exchanged looks as edged slowly towards the doorway. "Whatever it is," Valon started, sticking his head out a little to look down the hallway, "it sounds inhuman. Hey... wha's that?" Something- the something that had been and still was shouting- was rushing at him. Fortunately, everyone's favorite Australian dodged out of view, ramming into Alister on the way back into the safety of the room.
"Hey!" Alister protested as the two tumbled onto the ground. Again "Gerroff, Valon!"
"It- It- It was one o' those monsters Dartz has around all the time!" Valon stammered out, ignoring the redhead's commands. "A nasty one too!"
"The one with the big teeth or the ones with the bad breath and big teeth?" Alister asked sarcastically- it was official. The brunette has finally lost it. "Cause I saw one going around the corner two seconds ago- it had blue eyes, was ironically about your height, and had spiky brown hair also ironically like yours."
"Ve'y funny, Alister- you're killin' me..."
"Unfortunately not fast enough, apparently. Get off."
Valon sniffed, but got up. Someone had to warn Dartz- and that person wasn't lying on the floor. "I know wha' I saw- and I'm reporting this ta Dartz himself. You go ahead and make as many jokes as ya want, Alister- I'm actually goin' ta do my job!"
"And get fired for it? Please- go right ahead."
Down the hallway, door just as open as Valon's, Mai Valentine reclined on her bed, book open but eyes not reading a single word. Maybe she should lay off on teasing Valon- and quit leading him on. Hmmm...
NAH!
So decided, her eyes flicked back onto the page and actually began to see the words. Good- a step in the right direction. Now... to get Wheeler off of her mind... Hmmm... maybe duct tape his mouth shut- that ought to keep him quiet for a change! Whoa- what is that noise? Purple eyes frowning, Mai placed her paperback down cover up not a good idea, by the way, the spine gets all messed up and walked slowly over to the door. She really needed to move around the furnishings in her room- they kept inconveniencing her.
"AIEEEEEEE! SQUIRREL!"
The white blur that used to be known as the cool, collected Dartz streaked past, limbs flailing, eyes bugging out. The effect would have been hilarious if it wasn't their boss they were talking about.
Shaking her head in disbelief- and trying to refrain from laughing out loud- the blond shut her door closed. She learned her lesson- never keep the door open when 'living' and 'working' with idiots. Oh, and lock the door too.
Alister watched Valon walk down the hallway, waiting for him to be bowled over by the stampeding blur. That didn't happen, unfortunately, but he did get a small laugh from the paranoid brunette as he checked around the corner before turning. Similarly unfortunate, Valon didn't glare and start another insult argument. Sigh... this was going to be a boring afternoon.
Oh well- planning the demise of a certain Kaiba would keep him amused for a while.
Meantime, the white blur had reached the end of the hallway, where it either turned to go down or up a staircase. That wouldn't help- the stairs going up would bring him to the roof and the run down would be a loooooooooong one. Mind still panicking, and still screaming his head off, the white blur did a marvelously short U-turn and headed back down the hallway.
Dang key. Blowing the bangs out of his face, the redhead told himself to calm down. True- this key refused to open the door. True- he had tried at least a million times now. True- it was slightly bent from the wrestling match earlier. False- it was working.
"C'mon you... key!" A lesson learned from good old, never will show up again Dad- when a household item refuses to work, cursing at it will always do the charm. Usually. Warning- don't try this with dynamite or electronics; they might get mad and blow you up. Thank you, daddy.
There was a faint click, and when he tried the knob- it didn't move. Uh-oh. Alister tried the knob again and got the same result. Opps... With a sigh, he went to remove the key... and found it caught. Oh- so that was what the click was; the stupid thing broke. Opps.
This day couldn't get any worse...
Wrong. "ACK!" was all that escaped the startled- and trampled- Alister as he tumbled t the ground under the white blur seen earlier. He didn't get a very good look, but he did notice the bugged-out eyes, the feet stomping up one side of him to the other and that whatever it was, it was saying; 'Aiee.' Then, just as soon as it arrived, it left. "Ugh... ouch..."
Much to his irritation, the door to the meeting room was closed. It bettuh not be locked! This day 'as been bad enough as it is! Valon thought to himself as he kicked the door. Much to his relief- and Dartz's, the last time the Australian came across a locked door when he had been in a foul mood, Valon had nearly destroyed it. Anyways, it did get a few more holes than before and some curious scratches deep into the wood. It was still a mystery...- it swung open smoothly. He found Rafeal trying to spot something on the security cameras, as Dartz periodically switched their view down to the meeting room and then back to his office. The reason was still unknown. "Rafeal! Where's Dartz?" Valon called out, making the edgy blond whirl around... and fall over. "Carpet got ya?"
Using the table edge to pull himself up, Rafeal glared down at Valon. Enough with all the jokes already! "He's... busy right now. I'm trying to find him. What is it?"
"Well, first off there's one o' Dartz's monsters loose in the building- we need to work on security- an' it is cur'ently screamin' and runnin' up and down the hallway outside our rooms. Besides that, Alister's bein' annoyin' again."
Rafeal rolled his eyes- that was the usual complaint with the two of them on Thursdays. "Wait... one of Dartz's monsters..? Running up and down a hallway?"
"And stomped all over my back!" The two turned- Valon staying smoothly on his feet, Rafeal falling flat on his face- and found Alister limping towards them, mumbling various things to himself. "Besides that-"
"Let me guess-" a hand reaching up to clench at the table's edge signaled Rafeal's return to the world of standing on two feet, "-Valon's annoying you again?"
"No. My key to my room is broken- right inside of the lock."
"Again?"
"Shut up, Valon- I'm not in the mood."
Valon rolled his eyes, ignoring the glare he got from the redhead. "And you weren't before..?" he asked sarcastically.
"I'm warning you, Aussie-"
"ENOUGH!" the roar brought the two to complete silence, neatly chastised. Rafeal had made his way back to his feet and was glaring at the two... children. "Look- Dartz is... busy and there's a... thing running loose. Since he's... busy, we have to deal with this little... situation ourselves."
"Okay- I'll confront it face-ta-face, Alister get it from behind, and you Rafeal... Uh... back up?"
"Alister just got run over by the thing. Do you really think you're going to stand a better chance?" Rafeal replied dryly. Honestly, Valon needed to get some more common sense! "Anyways- if it really used to be one of Dartz's... servants than it should have a duel disk. Maybe we can beat it in a duel."
Valon made a face, and replied with a very sarcastic tone, "Oh yeah- I'm sure that it'll stop when you say, ''Old it, monster- I challenge you to a duel!' I can see it all right now... BAM! And it'll squish you flat like roadkill."
"Oh, that's a lovely image," Alister muttered, looking disgusted. "Why not try attacking it with duct tape or glue? Or- dare I say it?- nail polish?"
"Ack! Don't you dare mention that in front of me again!" Valon made as if to hit him, making the redhead duck and run straight into a chair. "I still have nightmares from it."
"And it's still on your nails- its not a bad color on you, by the way."
"SHUT IT!"
"You're a Barbie Girl, in you're Barbie Wor-ld, Imagina- ACK!" Alister was cut off from more singing as Valon come at him, swinging. With a sigh, Rafeal waded in the sudden mess of fists, kicks and dust to literally pull the two apart. Why did today have to be Thursday? They're always trying to kill each other on Thursdays... It must be something in the water.
"Do you really think this is going to work?" Rafeal asked doubtfully. It had taken him nearly ten minutes to keep the two from going at it again, and another ten to get them to agree on a plan without the knuckle sandwiches. "It's only three pieces of duct tape stretched over the length of the hallway... Somehow that doesn't sound like it'll work..."
From behind him, Alister whispered, "This is why you don't let Valon think up plans- he never gets it right."
"Who asked you, carrot top?" Valon whispered fiercely over his shoulder. Alister was just asking for it today... Stupid Thursdays... "These monsters aren't too smart- they can be trapped like this! Duct tape is one of the strongest substances in the world! Why do you think Dartz uses it to fix anything that's broken?"
"Cause he won't pay to properly fix things?"
"Shush it- I see somethin' coming!" The brunette leaned the tiniest bit further out, just to be sure he was right. Yep, something was definitely coming- and fast. "It doesn't see the duct tape! Ha- it'll run right into it!"
"Or right through it," Rafeal muttered, images of the monster hurtling through and continuing on without even slowing. And if THAT happened- then it would have a new, powerful weapon hanging off of it... Duct tape... shudder
Alister nudged Rafeal's shoulder, whispering, "Quick, push him out into the hallway- maybe we'll get lucky and he'll run over." The blond gave him an annoyed look, and turned back to the hallway... right as the thing ran into... and through the tape.
"Look out! That stuff is live!" All three hit the floor as the very sticky material waved over their heads. The monster took no notice and continued its gibbering and screams on down the hallway.
Slowly, the three got back up again, shocked. They had never seen ANYTHING do that before- not to duct tape! Whatever they were dealing with... it had powers, man- powers. How else could it have gotten through the lure of the tape?
"Well," Alister broke the silence, "what do we do now?"
Rafeal looked upon the new 'trap' and shook his head slowly. "At the risk of repeating myself and getting another glare from the two of you... I don't think this is going to work either." He gestured to the complex arrangement of duct tape, looking for all the world like a bad attempt at a spider web. "If duct tape didn't work the first time- why would it work now?"
"Because there's more than just three strips of tape running across," Alister replied, taping over a slowly curling edge. "And it better worked- this is the last of my supply."
"That's a good thing to hear," Valon muttered. He didn't even want to THINK of what the redhead had been planning with the twenty rolls of gray duct tape hidden under his pillow. Ignoring the glare, he continued, "So now what?"
Glare switching to an annoyed look, Alister guided the three to the side of the trap- well out of range of any free flying tape. "Now we wait, pee-brain."
"Hey!"
Rafeal rolled his eyes and slapped a hand over the brunette's mouth. Over the last thirty minutes of setting this up, he had to intervene more and more before another fight broke out. At the rate they're going, he ought to tape them up in the middle of the hallway as a sacrifice to the monster. "Quiet Valon- now's not the time," he whispered fiercely.
"It's coming," Alister reported, moving back down to the other two. "And once again- fast. I'd say that there's a small, minuscule chance that it'll break through."
"How small is small, carrot top?" Valon shot. "Is it fifty percent chance or just forty-nine percent?"
Alister didn't get the chance to reply, as the thing came by then, slamming right into the tape. It held for a second... and then broke, adding the ends of duct tape to the original duct tape on it. "Look out!" The three saw more of the beautiful floor as the tape waved over their heads.
It was a good five minutes later before they got back up. Valon had apparently found this an appropriate time to insult Alister's 'stinky' and 'fashion dead' shoes, which had cost the redhead an arm and a leg to get. The only way the Australian didn't find his head disconnected and offered on a silver platter to the creature was the restraining hand on his shoulder and Valon's. "Well," Valon muttered, shaking off Rafeal's hand, "that didn't work. Now what?"
The brunette and redhead looked at the small piece of paper that was Rafeal's plan. For the first time that day, the two agreed on something- Rafeal had lost it. Valon took the paper out of the blond's hand and read it over. Nope, he hadn't read it wrong. "'Ow is apple pie supposed to stop it?"
Rafeal flung over two aprons at them, and before they even had the chance to catch them, had his own on and was digging through the kitchen for some bowls and spoons. "No one can resist pie, Valon." Smiling, he placed three bowls on top of the table and wooden spoons beside each one. "And we're going to make one. Big. Pie. It won't be able to resist that, I'm telling you!"
"More... comfort food?" Alister asked dryly. There was a reason he hardly passed Home Economics in school- he could burn a hole into a pot of boiling water. "Did I mention I can't cook?"
"Oh, you can cook Alister," Valon muttered, placing the paper onto the table, "Just not without putting a hole in it."
"Shut it, Aussie!"
Rafeal rolled his eyes- more intervening was required. He thrusted a bowl in both Alister's and Valon's hands before they found a better use for them and guided them towards the ingredients he handed out. "Follow the recipe EXACTLY and make the crust. I'll do the filling." He put the recipe in between them, taping it to the door of a cupboard in front of them. "Keep those hands busy and mouths shut- or else I'll suggest an anger management class to Dartz for the two of you."
"Oh god no- not that!" Alister exclaimed sarcastically. "What does that word say..? Fruit... Loops...?"
Valon gave him a look and reached for the flour. "You need glasses, Ally- that says quite clearly: Flour."
"Al...is...ter... Val...on... What did I say!"
The silence lasted for only about two minutes. Well... it lasted for almost that much time- the stop watch being used could have been a little bit off...
"Do you mind, Alister, not spraying your pathetic bunch of... ingredients into my bowl?" Valon muttered, wiping a floury hand over his forehead. A smudge of white was left, and the annoying bangs just fell back into place anyways. "'Ow many more of these stupid crusts do we hav'ta make, Rafeal?"
Alister gave the brunette a look, but wisely kept his mouth shut. It wouldn't be a good idea if he got into another fight with Valon over this; he'd hate to admit it, but the Australian was better at this than him. The advantage was clearly on his side.
"Two more," Rafeal replied, measuring out the cinnamon with a practiced hand. He caught the hopeful glances between the two and couldn't help but smile as he broke the bad news to them, "For the both of you."
"What!"
"Get back to work, Valon- we might not have much time left."
"That doesn't look cooked," Alister commented, for lack of anything else to say. The pie was very... very... large. It was a wonder they got into the oven at all. "Although... I wouldn't be able to tell either way if my life depended on it."
Rafeal shrugged it off- everyone's said that about something once in their lives-, "It's cooked. If we waited any longer, the edges would be burnt to a crisp."
"At least it would've been cooked," Valon replied. "So... where do we put it?"
"Hmmm... well... that's the problem..."
Mai Valentine sighed, throwing her book off to the side. It landed on the floor with a thud and slid a couple feet. This was getting boring. With a sigh, she slung her legs over the side of her bed and crossed the room to the door. There had been no loud noises for a while now- it should be safe by now.
Still, she opened the door slowly, just ready to close it at the slightest unexpected noise. Nothing. Good. Smiling- maybe she could find Valon and tease him some more- she took a step out... and nearly burst out laughing from the view at the end of the hallway.
Yes, she had found Valon. And his 'friends.' The three of them were struggling to place what looked like a pie on top of a very small end table that must have come from the Wrestling Room. Hmm... Now what was with the duct tape? Trying to guard the pie from... whatever? Ha!
"What are you three doing? You're going to burn the top of that end table and Dartz will kill you for it!" She called down, making her slow way down the hallway towards them.
Valon did a double-take, looking very shocked. "Mai! Look out! The monster is gonna come down that way in any second now!"
Mai blinked several times, trying to understand what he had said. Monster? What had he been smoking lately..? "What are you, crazy Valon? There's no monster here-"
"LOOK OUT!"
"Wha-?" She turned around, only to find the white blur heading right at her. The next thing she knew, there was a ceiling in her view and nothing else. Blinking and feeling like the victim of a sale stampeding group, she rolled over to watch what would happen now to the three clue less losers.
The white blur went right through the duct tape- and the three of them- like a knife through butter. The end table was knocked over and the thing tripped over the furnishing, landing a face plant into the pastry. The limbs of the white blur slowly stopped twitching as something small, furry, and brown hopped off and ran off.
"Wait a minute... that looks like..," Mai got to her feet, wiping off the dust on her skirt, "Dartz... Uh-oh..." Slowly... very slowly... she made her way to her room, gaining speed until she was like the Roadrunner Looney Tune, slamming the door shut and locking it. Yes- when living with those four, it was better to keep one's door shut and locked. No matter what.
Ah... that was fun to write. Okie dokie- Thank you and please review! Thanks! again!
