I'll Fly With You, chapter 2
The next few days were a blur to Lily, filed with essays and double assignments and twice as much work as she was used to. The holidays were coming up, and with the end of the term came the ever-dreaded mid-term exams. Rather than panicking, as many fellow Seventh-years seemed to be doing, Lily was filled with a nervous excitement. This was Lily's time to shine. She knew it, and so did everyone else. Although she wasn't the only extremely talented student in her year, she was one of the few who didn't buckle under pressure. She lived for it. The harder her assignment, the better her grade. The frenzy before exams was always Lily's chance to stand out amongst her peers. While the others frantically paged through weeks' worth of notes, looking for this counter-curse or that ancient Minister of Magic's name, Lily returned faithfully to her spot in the library, night after night, to read up on anything she hadn't already studied that day. Lily was ahead of her game. And even though the library was looking more populous these days, Lily was still for the most part left alone in her corner by the fiction-for-young-witches section.
Every once in a while, Emma or one of Lily's other friends from class would stop by to say hi, or to ask her to explain something. Occasionally, Emma would bring her some food from the kitchens, when Lily had read straight through dinner (which happened quite often nowadays). Generally, Lily appreciated these distractions. She loved being able to help people understand what they were reading and studying, and of course Emma was forever saving her from going to bed hungry. But every once in a while, Lily would receive an interruption that was anything but welcome. She would be completely immersed in a book, and out of nowhere, her stack of books would tumble to the ground with a horrific crash. Then, suddenly, James would appear with a wicked gleam in his eye, scooping them up and gallantly setting them right. Or she would be having a conversation with someone about classical Muggle literature, and James would rudely cut in with something alarmingly stupid like, "If Muggles are so great, then why can't they do this?" and proceed to shoot on of his (not-so-)brilliant 'stars' at some poor unsuspecting student at a nearby library desk. Lily would love nothing more than to hit him or to yell, but she knew better than that. 'No,' she decided, 'that boy is dangerous. Can't be trusted. If he's got some sort of secret agenda, I'm not going to a part of it.'
Finally, it was Saturday. The teachers had cleverly scheduled a Hogsmeade trip for the day. That way, students who were becoming antsy could get a break from their studying and some time to do some Christmas shopping. Alternately, students who still had work to do could do so without anyone in their way. Emma decided that she needed the break, but was hesitant to leave Lily behind.
"Go, Ems. Have fun. Tell me if you see anything good in the shops."
"Lily, what are you going to do today? DON'T tell me you're staying in the library, I won't allow it."
"I'll… take a walk or something," Lily said purposefully.
Emma eyed her skeptically. "You sure?"
"Emma, GO!" Lily exclaimed, laughing. "Have fun!"
So Emma went, vowing to bring Lily something from the sweets shop, and Lily put down the Charms textbook she was now re-reading for the third time. She got up and walked out of the library, and out the door on the far side of the Great Hall. The air was cold and Lily could see her breath, as she shivered a little under her thin cloak. She quickened her step to warm up, and before she knew it she had broken into a jog. She ran around near the big hut where the games-keeper lived, then on past the Herbology greenhouses. She had no real destination, she just enjoyed the warm feeling she got from moving so fast against the cold, bitter December air. She ran blindly until she came across the seemingly empty Quidditch pitch. She looked around for a bit and, seeing no one, ventured inside. She had been at Hogwarts almost seven years, and she had only been on the pitch twice. Once, to watch the final game in her first year, and again last year… she shook her head to rid herself of such painful memories. She had promised herself that she would try to let what had happened go…
She walked toward where the spare brooms were kept, for lessons or practices, and picked one up. She held it, felt the bristles, and ran her fingers along the cool, smooth oak of the handle. She stood holding the broom, thinking about something but not really thinking at all, when once again he appeared out of nowhere.
"You like that one? It's my favorite practice broom."
Lily spun to face him, dropping the broom in her haste. "Sorry," she mumbled under her breath, scrambling to pick up the broom and in the process knocking down several more.
James laughed. "Lily, it's okay. I've got 'em," he offered as he effortlessly scooped up ten or twelve brooms at once. Lily just stood there, not really knowing what to do with herself, looking quite as though she had been caught in the act of doing something wrong. James looked at her, and after a few wordless moments he began to speak.
"Err… well, what were you doing back here, anyway? Never took you for much of a Quidditch player."
"Ahh… I, er… just went for a run, you know, and I saw the pitch and I looked around and thought it was empty, so…"
"You looked around, did you?" James asked, smirking a bit.
"Yes," Lily snapped.
"Looked around the Quidditch pitch…"
"WHERE are you going with this, Potter?"
"By any chance, did you think to look… up?"
Lily
threw her hands up in frustration and started to stomp away.
"Lily,
wait!" James shouted, jogging a bit to keep up with her.
"WHAT?"
"I'm sorry. I was only teasing. Sorry," he repeated, panting a bit after the unexpected run.
"Whatever." She quickened her pace.
"Lily, stop and talk to me for a second please?"
Lily looked at him warily but stopped anyway. "Talk," she commanded curtly.
"Blimey, you move fast. You like, a closet athlete or something? Bookworm by day, secret Olympic runner by—"
"—Potter!"
"Okay, okay. What I was going to say was, I'm sorry for being kinda…"
"Stupid, prattish, childish?"
"ANYway, right, so I'm sorry. One question though, and then I'll leave you alone forever," James said dramatically. "Why do you hate me so much? Was I really ever that horrible to you? You're not a mean person, that much I know. If I've made you hate me somehow, I'm really, really sorry."
Lily sighed. "I don't hate you, James."
"You called me James! Progress!"
"Sod off."
"Ah, fighting words. So, I was wondering if you'd like to go up with me some time."
Lily smiled—a little—in spite of herself. "Go up with you? Don't you mean go out with you?" Lily asked, mockingly.
"No. Up," he repeated, pointing. "Up there."
Suddenly, without warning, Lily's face clouded over.
"I can't. I'm sorry, I have to go," she mumbled, slightly incoherently, as she turned and continued to walk up the path leading back to the castle, leaving a confused and crushed James Potter behind, yet again.
Lily cursed herself as she walked quickly. 'I can't believe I almost let something happened. Why did I go there? WHY? Aarrghhh!" That last bit was said out loud, setting a few giggly First-year girls into a bout of laughter. One look from Lily shut them up fast. Lily went inside and, finding the school still devoid of older students, started thinking of possible places to hide out and think for a while, or at least until Emma got back. She heard the big double-doors open again behind her and, not wanting to deal with it, she ran up to the Gryffindor common room and sunk into a loveseat with its back to the doorway. 'Damn,' she thought, 'forgot to bring a book.'
So she was left alone to sit there, not daring to turn around lest she find James there. Eventually, seconds turned to minutes and everything turned fuzzy. She felt her eyelids close and the next thing she knew, two hours had passed and the common room was once again buzzing, most of the students having apparently returned from the Hogsmeade shopping excursion. She sat up, rubbing her eyes, and scanned the room for a sign of him. Seeing none, she stood and stretched, and started to walk instinctively toward the library. On her way out the door, she ran into Emma on her way in.
"So, how was it? Good stuff?" Lily asked.
"Yeah, got a few nice things. No peaking though," she added mischievously, "your Christmas present's in there!"
"Oooooh, presents!" Lily exclaimed as she started grabbing for the bag.
"No!" Emma squealed as she tore up the stairs, Lily racing up after her.
The two girls ran into the room laughing. Lily, having given up on the shopping bag, flopped onto her bed. Emma followed suit, having thrown her cloak carelessly on the floor.
"Slob," Lily said accusingly, as she automatically reached for the cloak and draped it over her own on the back of a desk chair. Lily thought back to the previous couple of hours, and sighed.
"Emma?"
"Yeah? What's up?"
"Em… I need to talk to you…"
"Lily, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Emma asked nervously.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, it's just… today, while you guys were gone, I took a walk…"
"Okaayyyyy…."
"…and I somehow ended up on the Quidditch pitch…"
"Hmm, I wonder why."
"…and James was there. And we talked for all of about two minutes…"
"Wow, you talked to him? Without causing injury? I'm impressed."
"…anyway, we were looking at brooms…"
"…"
"…and he asked me to up with him…"
"Oh, no…"
"And I ran away," Lily concluded, with a sad note of finality.
"Oh, Lily…" Emma groaned, sliding off her own bed and sitting gingerly next to Lily on hers. She continued, "Lily, it's been months! You can't let what happened last year control you this way. You need to learn to put this behind you. I don't mean to sound cruel, but… if you can't learn to move on, you're going to end up alone forever. With cats."
Lily smiled a slow, sad smile. "You're a horrid creature, you do know that, right?"
"Learned from the best," Emma replied with a little laugh.
"So," Lily continued, serious once more, "what do I do now?"
"Lils, I can't tell you what to do and you know it. Stop acting dim, I know you're a smarter person than that…" she trailed off, considering a moment, before she started up again, "…but if it were me, I'd have had Mr. Sexy Chaser pinned against a wall HOURS ago."
"Emma, you're insufferable," Lily laughed, throwing her arms around her friend in a tight hug.
"But you know you love me."
"Indeed," Lily said happily. "Soooooo, about that Christmas present…"
