Hullo- I'm sorry it took me awhile to update, I hit a snag or two. anyways... For this chapter, I owe San the Silver Wolf Demon for the idea. Please read and review! Thanks!

Disclaimer: Nope, I haven't won the lottery yet.


Chapter Seven: Raffy's Has Left the Building

Rafeal placed the last of his three Guardian Monster cards onto the shelf lovingly, feeling that same old glow of warmth that he always did. These cards had kept him sane when he had been younger. He didn't even want to THINK about what would have happened if they weren't there on that deserted island all those years back...

The faces of the cards were well worn; the outlines of the pictures were scarcely visible. Considering what the cards had been through, it was a wonder that they hadn't been destroyed by natural forces of water, skin oil and various sands and dirts they had been forced to be next to. The blond would NEVER get rid of these cards- not even if they were, oh let's say.., torn up, trampled on, pig swallowed and vomited out, thrown in a puddle and then dried in mud or even baked in some delicious pastry and burned to a horrific crisp.

Never.

Whistling to himself, Rafeal leaned against the wall, legs stretched out in front of him. He shuffled through the rest of his deck, doing a mental checklist of each card in his deck. Yep- every single one was there. He slid the deck into his duel disk and placed it down on the ground next to him.

Now there was nothing else to do except anything he wanted. Zzz... Zzz... Zzz...


"Armor on! Foot Kicker- AWAAAAAAYYYYY!" Taking little time to aim, Valon kicked the sad excuse of a soccer ball, sending it up... up... and... into a very large batch of prickly bushes.

Alister didn't bother to see where the ball went; after thirty-six times of the same exact thing, it became quite pointless to look. "You can't use your armor cards in kickball, Valon!" he repeated for the millionth time that day.

"Ha! Jus' like I can't hit you with the ball to get you out, right? 'Cause ya might break a nail, I'll bet!"

Resisting the urge to slam a thorn bush down the brunette's throat, Alister growled out, "You have to hit the runner from the shoulders down- you keep hitting me in the back of the head!"

"So?"

"So it doesn't count!"

Valon just shrugged the matter off, but kept his grin on; he could keep this up all day, but Alister would give in sooner or later. He knew from experience at other games... Take basketball for example. Now, anyone could play the game with the rules; it took someone special to convince a goody-goody two shoes to play it hopping on one foot, going in slow motion AND wrestling the opponent to the ground in order to get the ball. Oh, and no fouls. "Jus' go get the ball, ya pansy."

"No- you go get it. You're the one who bloody kicked it!" the redhead retorted, trying to futilely smooth the bump in his hair caused by the unfailingly accurate throws Valon had earlier made. The next time Dartz suggested that they go 'play outside and enjoy the sunshine and fresh air'- actually meaning 'get out of here before I kill you'-, he was going to shove the white-haired idiot outside to play a sport with Valon and see if HE liked it! Ha, that would be the day.

"But YOU'RE the defense- you have ta get it."

"I HAD TO GET IT FOR THE LAST BLOODY THIRTY-SIX TIMES!"

"Yeah... and..?"

Rationality becoming a thing of the past, Alister stomped his way over to a very calm Australian, wishing for something large and heavy to clobber the minion with. "You... are... going... to... get... it... Even... if... I... have... to... drag... you... over... there... MYSELF! NOW MOVE IT, AUSSIE!"

Valon blinked a couple of times, feeling as though he had just experienced the howling winds of a hurricane. "Ya know, you should use a breath mint, Alister... I mean really-! ACK!" The next thing he knew, his feet was no longer on the ground. But his head was. "Hey! That was a cheap trick! An' give me back my cards- aaah! Okay- okay! I'm movin'!" Not wishing to feel the wrath of his Foot Kicker card, the brunette got to his feet and ran the way over to the bushes. Thank goodness he didn't wear belly shirts... although, the thorns were going to do a number on his arms...


Ten minutes later found Alister leaning comfortably against the side of the headquarters building. Smiling to himself, he watched as the very irritated brunette try to find the soccer ball in that thorny prison. Hmm... he needs some more happiness in his life- and the redhead was the one to share it.

"Hey Valon, how's it going over- in- there?" Alister called out, smile widening.

The brunette's head snapped up, eyes narrowed. "It'd go faster if ya helped out, Alister! Ack!- why of all the stinkin' thorns in all the world!"

"Why not try to your left? Or did you search there already?"

Muttering obscene curses under his breath, Valon ducked down into the stinging bushes. He had thought that he'd seen a certain oblate spheroid... Nope. Candy wrapper. Hey! Hersheys- he LOVED Hersheys! Ahem... back to the search...

"Found it?"

"Does it bloody well LOOK like I found it, you bloody idiot!" Valon shouted back. He hadn't foreseen this happening in his afternoon of fun and games, that's for sure!

Struggling to keep from laughing his head off, Alister replied with all sincerity, "I thought you were Australian, not British, ol' chum."

Muttering even MORE obscene curses under his breath, Valon ducked out of view again, sure he had seen something... AHA! "Gerroff o' me, you stinkin' BUSH!" With that, he ripped his way out of a particularly sharp bush... and landed right in another one. Over the sound of breaking plant limbs and his own curses, he could still hear that redhead's laughter... Ohhhh... he was gonna pay for this... Can we say no more hair spray..?

"Didja find it now?"

"DIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!"

"AHH- wha'?" What had started as a bloodcurdling scream- sort of- quickly turned back into laughter. The idiot had missed. Two feet away, tripped, and NOW the brunette misses! This is hilarious! "You finally get the chance to hit me, and the wonder thrower misses? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Resisting the urge to pick grass and dirt out of his teeth, Valon made his slow, defeated way back to his feet. He glanced down behind him, spotting a half buried rock in the ground. Great. Arms ripped to shreds, humiliated, and he trips over a stupid rock on his only chance to shut Alister up! WHAT IS WITH THAT! "Jus' shut up, already! It wasn't that funny, you idiot!" the brunette growled, brushing off the dirt on his shirt.

"Ho-how can I-I after th-that!" Alister laughed out, just barely.

Valon rolled his eyes and started walking off. "The ball went through a window- if ya want to stay alive, I suggest ya get off the ground before I ge' back with the ball to shove down ya throat!"

"Wh-whatever you say, banana heels!"

With a well practiced, "GRR!", the brunette turned the corner to the building, heading for the front- and only- entrance to the building.


CRASH!

That was all it took for the blond to snap his eyes open, wide awake. No one was allowed in his room without prior permission- that much was granted to him through being the 'employee leader.' Actually, it was the only plus to being the 'employee leader.' Whoever broke that little- very little- rule was gonna wish he was never born...

Rafeal took his own time searching his room, looking for the perpetrator. They couldn't have left... His eyes swept over the shelf that was no more... went on... and immediately swiveled back to the now destroyed shelf. "What the-?" He swung his legs off his bed and made his slow, dazed way over to the remains, eyes wide to an unbelievable size. This just couldn't be happening...

He ignored the soccer ball- in fact, he flicked it aside with barely a glance- and shifted through the splintered wood pieces. The shelf could easily be replaced, that wasn't what he was worried about, though.. Wood piece. Wood piece... C-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


Valon turned a corner, still feeling miffed. A million Hershey candy totting aliens with jelly beans for heads could have waltzed by without any notice from him at this point. If there was one thing the brunette hated- it was being laughed at by someone he could easily beat in a duel. Almost nothing else got him this riled up; usually. Taking a moment to rest and think, the brunette found himself outside of Rafeal's room. Whatever.

Let's see... the ball went through a window along the back... Rafeal's room is along the back- like Mai's. There was also one empty room if anyone else became a less-than-complete-zombie employee, but so far... naddah. But that room's window was always shut, and Mai rarely stayed around long enough on Saturdays to trust her window open. So- that left Rafeal.

"AIEEEEEEEEE! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO !"

Valon paused along the hallway, suddenly feeling very, very freaked out. The voice- it was familiar... but... it wasn't the side of someone he usually saw... right? "Rafeal? Rafeal...?" Taking the utmost care to not do anything rash, the brunette opened his large blond coworker's door open, seeing a scene that was most definitely unknown to everything his brain knew of Rafeal.

The blond himself was crouching over what looked like saw dusted wood and was... crying? Yep- definitely crying. In his hands, in about a million pieces, were the three cards that Valon knew was very, very, very special to Rafeal. Heck, he had joked about the 'relationship' the two shared once- and very nearly got killed for it. What had reduced him to this! The brunette's gaze swept over the rest of the room, coming to a short stop on the soccer ball.

Opps.

"Heh, hey Rafeal... are you okay..?" Valon asked softly. "Uhhh... Rafeal..?" The blond hadn't, didn't move. Trying not to get any attention, he continued on with a lighter tone- and just as softly-, "Well, huh- I'm just gonna get my- Imean!- Alister's soccer ball... I- uh- HE accidentally kicked it up here... Uhh.. Thanks... and uh... see ya..?"

Rafeal's huge hands closed over his wrecked cards- the very same cards that had kept him sane for a total of THREE YEARS! Well- there will be no more of that! "Valon... did you kill my cards with that vile oblate spheroid!"

The teen jumped in the air, landing heavily on his feet. "Uh-uh-uh... n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n- gulp- n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nooooo! Of course not, mate- uh- Rafeal! Heh, heh... And, uh, ain't it a regular sphere..?"

"Of course not- if you take in the evidence of the heavy layers of duct tape, the thorn bush twigs sticking out of it and the various bits of rocks and grass in it... then you get an oblate spheroid because it is no longer completely round. Understand class?"

"Ummm... okay..."

"Right. Now did you, Valon, DESTROY MY GUARDIAN CARDS WITH THIS VILE OBLATE SPHEROID!"

The brunette in question- literally- flinched at the roar, trying to ignore the instinct telling him to curl up and pretend he was dead. He hadn't done that since... well... never mind. "Uhhhh... no..."

"Oh. Okay."

Carrying the cards and oblate spheroid with him, Rafeal made his way out of the room, leaving a stunned Valon to blink over the sudden turn of events. Actually, to the blond's slowly deteriorating mind, the brunette no longer existed. Instead, there was a certain redhead that needed to be... 'talked' to...


After deciding to take Valon's advice and leave before the brunette got back, started off for the garage where the bikes were; if Dartz reallllly wanted them outside of the building, then he couldn't object to them keeping their bikes in tip top condition, right? Right.

Whistling a tune known only to him, he put in the password to open the garage doors- goodness knows why Dartz has a garage or even tries to keep it protected with a nonfunctioning security system- and waited patiently for the ancient motors to whir into life. Hopefully the squirrels hadn't bitten the wires in half again- it'd be a beep to try and open it manually.

Whir... whir... whir... Oh please open, you stupid thing!

"Were you planning to go somewhere, Alister?"

Frowning- what was Rafeal doing outside around noon? He generally sleeps in on days off until Valon shakes him awake, wondering where dinner was- the redhead turned around, not taking in the sudden change in light or the creepy background music. "Any where's is better than here," he answered, trailing off as he caught the maniacal look in the blond's eye.

"Oh really..?" Rafeal replied, juggling the oblate spheroid back in forth in his hands- he had unceremoniously shoved the card bits in his back pocket after leaving his room. "Do you know what this is?"

"Um... that looks like it's-"

"ADMIT IT, YOU REDHEADED PIXIE, YOU DESTROYED MY GUARDIAN CARDS WITH THIS OBLATE SPHEROID!"

Alister blinked a couple of times, shocked at the sudden change in demeanor and volume in Rafeal's voice. "Oblate... spheroid..?"

The soccer ball was practically shoved up his nostril. "This," Rafeal growled, eyes narrowing. "Now... before you can escape on that stupid motorcycle... you... will... PAY!" And, before Alister could get the soccer ball out of his face and run screaming in terror, he found himself wrapped in chains- suspiciously like the ones the blond puts on his motorcycle during the winter- and was being dragged towards the large leafy structure known as... the elm. What? Did you expect some silly nickname for a skinny wimpy tree like the elm?

"Umm... Rafeal- would you please ex- ow!- plain why I'm being dragged off to the elm?"

"You... will... pay... You... will... pay..."

"Thanks for clarifying your motivation with me."

"You... will... pay... You... will... pay..."


"Before you finish off your little 'revenge,' do I get the chance to defend myself?" Alister asked, still trying to move any of his limbs. Rafeal had done a very thorough job of wrapping the redhead to the elm with what looked like an endless supply of chains. Hopefully the blond would be considerate enough to let there be blood circulation throughout his body.

Rafeal snorted, pulling on the chains hard enough to tighten the entire length to the point of no circulation. "Go ahead, pixie- do your worst! Your magic sugary concoction will never work on me! So go ahead- attack!"

"Uh huh... Tell me Rafeal- have you been drinking more coffee than Dartz lately?"

"THE CARROTS WILL NEVER OVERTAKE SWEET SUGAR AND HONEY-COATED CAT SANITY! DO YOU HEAR ME!"


Dartz swigged down the last of his thirtieth cup of coffee, ignoring the bitter taste. Ahh, coffee... What a marvelous substance this is! Now why didn't the ancient Atlanteans have this stuff back then? It's... it's... marvelous!

Nodding his approval, he placed the mug into the sink and turned to leave the kitchen. For the first time that week, there was nothing he had to do that included his useless employees. No having to get apple pie bits out of his hair, no washing out glue, maple syrup or jam, and, better yet, NO SQUIRRELS!

"Squeak."

Hand paused over the door knob, Dartz swept his gaze over the room. That squeak sounded waaaaaaay too familiar for comfort. "Is someone there..?" he called out softly, ears tuned for any sound of life other than his own.

"Sq-squeak."

"No! It can't be! Not that... that... SQUIRREL!" Dartz scrambled to open the door, finding himself unable to due to his panic-crazed mind. "OPEN YOU STUPID DOOR! OPEN!" Much to his surprise, it did open. Dartz hurried through, running right into a muscled wall. "Ra-ra- Rafeal! Thank Atlanta, you're here!" He squeezed through the small space between the blond and the wall and gave Rafeal a small push towards the kitchen. "There's that squirrel in there- get it, get it!"

Rafeal caught himself, as the 'small push' nearly threw him waaaaay off balance. The redheaded pixie said that the brunette puppy was the one that glued the oblate spheroid known as 'the blasted soccer ball' into his room and that was how his precious Guardian cards had been annihilated. He was only inside to find the duct tape so he could shut the pixie up.

"Squeak." The 'squirrel' made its appearance over by the counter next to the sink, coffee mug in claw. Around its muzzle was a ring of brown substance known as coffee, and anyone would have sworn that it was smiling. Actually, it had been saying: this is good coffee, how do you make it? But Dartz can't speak squirrel. It never moved as the hulk made his slow way to it.

Much to Dartz's amazement, the demon let itself be picked up the scruff of its neck and carried up in the air. Even more to his amazement, Rafeal didn't immediately throw it outside the window like he usually did to small pesky things. In fact, the blond idiot was looking down in the sink.

Eyes narrowed and clearly miffed, Rafeal placed the squirrel on his shoulder, giving it a small pat on the head, and turned back to Dartz. "What are those down in the crater, feline?" he growled, pointing at the sink's contents.

FELINE! "You better have a good reason for calling me a feline, you offending- ack!" Before he could say: You better have a good reason for calling me a feline, you offending- ack, Dartz found his air cut off by Rafeal's hand.

"ISN'T IT ENOUGH THAT I SUFFER AT THE HANDS OF PIXIES AND PUPPIES! WHY MUST I CLEAN UP AFTER MALODOROUS FELINES TOO! GOOD SNOWMEN ABOVE- WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS!"

Good Atlanta- let me live through this, please! Dartz's mind repeated over and over again, as his body tried desperately to attain some good, clean air. "Ra-af-ea-al!" he choked out, not quite sure where to go after that. Honestly, wouldn't it be better if the blond's attention was on the squirrel; he might actually let go after ten thousand years.

Crazed piercing blue eyes glared down at his own, effectively shutting him up; chokes and all. "Get him, Fluffy." The squirrel pantomimed a salute and hopped down from Rafeal's shoulder into Dartz's hair. "Good boy, Fluffy. Aren't you a good boy- aren't you a good boy! Yeees you are! Yeeees you are!" Crooning done with, Rafeal dropped the doomed Dartz to the floor, writhing in agony to get the tiny claws and fluff out of his air. Again.

"Good boy, Fluffy. Have a good dinner; buh-bye now! Buh-bye cutsie wootsie Fluffy!"


The screaming didn't reach her until she actually took the brave steps out of her room. For the days following her lengthened probation, Mai had been verrrry careful around the place. She couldn't get fired- there was no way that she was going back to where she had come from.

Besides- there's only so much you can do to Dartz that wouldn't be repetitious.

However, there is also only how long you can stay looking at the same four walls and yards before going bonkers, and Mai Valentine had reached her limit. She really needed to get out here. Hmm... maybe she could go duel Wheeler and throw his dead body into a river; a big, stinky river.

Or maybe retreat back in her room and shut the door.

Rafeal turned the corner just then, eyes staring at the floor. Now what? Mai mentally asked herself, adding in a mental eye rolling for good measure. Ignoring the screaming- it wasn't like screaming was uncommon here- she walked over to Rafeal and stopped right in front of him. Feeling strangely concerned, she even went so far as to ask, "What's wrong, sugah?"

The blond's gaze jerked upwards before she even finished the word 'sugah.' Unnerved, she took a step back, thinking that she really should've just retreated back into her room and locked the door. This place was getting crazier every day. "What do you want, great Dust Bunny Lady?" Rafeal asked in an awed tone.

"Ummm... I'll just be goin' now- bye!"

Strong arms wrapped around her waist and she found herself being... bear hugged by the blond version of the Hulk. "DON'T LEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAVE MEEEEEE! PLEEEAAASE DON'T, GREAT DUST BUNNY LADY!" At that point, Mai couldn't tell which was worse- being suffocated or being called a ball of dirty fluff.

"Lemme go, you oaf!" she cried out, limbs flailing. "NOW! And get a breath mint, wouldja!"

"C'mon, great Dust Bunny Lady- I'll introduce you to Fluffy and his new friend! Maybe we can have a tea party together and start a bowling team and bake cookies for Christmas and- and- oh gee... Just stuff! WE'LL BE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!"

"GOOD LORD- GET ME OUTTA HERE!"

Rafeal fell quiet then, suddenly looking very, very, very unhappy. "Don't you want ta meet my friend?"

Taking this moment of weakness to her advantage, Mai kicked out and pushed herself away violently. She got loose- sort of- and turned to run when she found that her arm was still in the crazy idiot's hands. Shoot- that'll dampen her plans of escape a bit...

"It looks like someone needs a time-out!" Rafeal continued, not feeling any of Mai's new kicks or punches. Even her obscene cursing and shouting didn't reach his ears; or, if they didn't, they didn't register into real words in his brain. In fact, they ran screaming in the other direction at the chaos going on in what had been a perfectly sane mind. "Here's your corner, now be good or else I'll have ta chain you up like Pixie. Buh- bye and I'll be back eventually!"

The closet door was slammed behind her sprawling self as she was thrown unceremoniously into the small closet. She scrambled to the door, hoping to find the knob and open it... Nothing.

"Buh-bye now, Great Dust Bunny Lady! I'll see ya again soon- and be good! Bye!"

Uh-oh.


Ever since the sudden departure of the crazy ape, Valon had kept himself 'busy' by pacing back and forth in his room, muttering incoherent things under his breath. He knew Rafeal would be back- there was no question about that. No, the only question was WHEN he'd come back.

"Why did he have to go crazy now! Sure, his stupid Guardian cards go' ripped up a little, but no' that badly! Some duct tape would've fixed 'em up just fine and he goes and crumples them up! Wha' is with that idiot!" With a sigh, Valon stopped his ranting long enough to look out his window... and see a squirming redhead chained up to a tree, several squirrels throwing acorns at him. "Holy-! Has everyone in this place gone absolutely bonkers! And where is a bloody good card fixer-upper when ya need one! In Illusion 'eadquarters awaiting to 'ave 'is soul taken away from 'im!"

The door banged open, and in its place stood a very overjoyed Rafeal. In his hands was the oblate spheroid more commonly known as the beat up soccer ball. "Le's play some Dodge Ball, silly Blue-eyed Brunette Barney Squirrel-Puppy!" the blond chirped out, throwing the oblate spheroid up. It hit the ceiling and was stuck there by the sticks clinging into the plaster. "Oh boy- that's not good; hee,hee!"

"Uhh... 'ullo, Raffy- feeling better, I take it?" Valon asked stupidly, trying to keep the conversation on something semi-sane. Maybe Rafeal had been drinking too much coffee from a bad filter again...

Rafeal's smile widened. "Finally! I have another Squirrel-Puppy friend! Can you believe it, Blue-eyed Brunette Barney Squirrel-Puppy, that no one else wants to play with me! There so evil- but our other squirrel friends are keeping them occupied in time-out. Like Fluffy Squirrel is with Dartzy the Feline, and Invisible Hair-Ripping Squirrel is with the Great Dust Bunny Lady and Larry, Billy, Georgette, Carry, Sally and Bob Squirrels are with the Pixie! See- they're playing a rare version of Acorn Baseball down there; Pin the Pixie!"

"That's a lot of squirrels... where'd you find them all, Raffy?"

"They were colonizing with the six foot three inch polka dot bunny rabbits beneath the bathroom counter- remember?"

Valon nodded slowly, eyes trailing over the blond's shoulder to sweet, sweet freedom. "Riiight... that's right."

Rafeal's eyes narrowed and his demeanor suddenly changed at the drop of the hat then. "Hey... you don't look like a Blue-eyed Brunette Barney Squirrel-Puppy!" he cried out, effectively jarring Valon's attention back to the situation at hand. "WAIT! You look EXACTLY like Blue-eyed Brunette Barney Squirrel-Puppy's arch nemesis! You're the Blue-eyed Brunette Barney Spike-Haired Fluffy Polka-dot Goggle-head Sugar-Crazed Squirrel-Puppy, aren't you!" the blond demanded, glaring down at poor Valon.

"Uh... well I... Uh-um... heh, what I mean is- oh jeez!"

"I'LL SAVE YOU, BLUE-EYED BRUNETTE BARNEY SQUIRREL-PUPPY FROM THIS CUTE EVILNESS!"

"Rafeal! PUT ME DOWN, YOU OAF!"


Twenty hours and a hundred cups of coffee later:

"Feeling better now, Rafeal?" Dartz drawled, sliding the Tylenol medicine bottle across the table to the blond. Taking two, the employee in question nodded. "Good. Next time this sort of thing happens- take a few deep breaths and find the scotch tape, all right?"

"Yes, Master Dartz," Rafeal replied, checking over his newly fixed Guardian cards for the millionth time. "Thank you so very much for the scotch tape- and I'm sure I got everyone out."

"Good."

"Can we kill him now? Please?" Alister asked, tenderly putting ice on the last batch of bruises the acorn-flinging squirrels had inflicted upon him.

Next to him, trying to ignore the fact that he was wearing pink clothes and goggles, was Valon. He couldn't wait to get the dye remover; his hair had used up most of the jar they already had. However, after being released from clothes pins off the cloths line- the dye needed to dry in the breeze- and having to wash his hair for a longer time than Mai or Dartz, didn't lessen his thirst for revenge. He nodded his agreement with Alister earnestly, never moving his glare from Rafeal.

Dartz rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No. We still need a soul from him." I just KNOW I'm going to regret that decision some day... "Just get that squirrel out of the... building. Now!"

"Yes sir..," Rafeal sadly did as he was told, letting Fluffy Squirrel out through the kitchen window. "Bye Fluffy!"

"Now what did I tell you about squirrels, Rafeal?"

"They're not pets- they're pests."

"Good," Dartz purred, taking a sip of his most recent cup of coffee. "Now- are you sure you got everyone out of their... time-outs?"

The blond nodded as earnestly as Valon had shortly before. "Yes sir- just like every tangle in your hair is out, so is everybody out of their punishments."

Valon and Alister exchanged looks and turned back to the other two. The brunette's eyes were narrowed the slightest as he tried to put his finger on what was different about this scene. "I don' know, Raffy... It feels as if someone's missin'..."


Somewhere upstairs, locked in a hallway closet:

"WOULD SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HERE!"


I'm so sorry that took me so long to update- but here it is! Thanks for reading and please review!