A/N- Ok, here's the REAL moment we've all been waiting for! Luscious Lucius, we love you!

Meanwhile, other people were having other problems. "Why did I have to be paired with you of all people?" Narcissa asked Lupin, wrinkling her nose at his outfit, which didn't meet her incredibly particular standards. Professor Lupin mimicked her, making her even more annoyed.

"Hey Moony, hey Mrs. M., how ya doin'?" Sirius asked, walking up to the unhappy couple with Parvati on his arm. Lupin looked up, happy to see a face that wasn't blonde and icy. "Thank god someone sane has arrived," he said, looking pointedly at Cissa.

Cissa snorted. "Since when has Sirius Black been sane?" she asked, eyeing Parvati distastefully. Parvati glared back at her. From what she had seen, Mrs. Malfoy wasn't any better than her son.

"So, have you seen your hubby?" Sirius asked persistently, laughing at Cissa. She shook her head. "Why would I? He's probably bored out of his mind drinking punch at the refreshment table," she replied, laughing at the very idea that she should be worried about where her husband was.

At that convenient moment, Lucius and Cho walked up behind her. "Hey," Lucius said sarcastically, "how's your date?" Lupin rolled his eyes. "Your wife is the most annoying person on earth," he said truthfully, "I think the only more annoying person is your son."

Lucius shook his head, his platinum blonde hair practically blinding Sirius. "Hey Lucius honey, how's your 'date'," Narcissa said mockingly, looking down on Cho with an expression of contempt. Cho looked up at her, equally disdainful.

"Excuse me, but what makes you so bloody confident that your so-called husband can't possibly be attracted to me?" she asked, flipping her raven black hair. Lucius nodded in agreement, still completely insulted by the fact that his wife had yet to realize how sexy and lusted after he was.

Narcissa wrinkled her nose. "I thought we had this discussion already. I already explained to you the painfully obvious. Now Lucius, can you please take this little girl out of my sight and let me get on with my date from hell?"

Cho snorted indignantly. "Don't you little girl me! Number one, I'm 16 (A/N- sound right at all?), so I'm hardly a little girl. Number two, I'm prettier than you'll ever be, and more popular, too. Number three, if you're so unhappy with your date, why don't you go with a group? And number four, you just wait and see how much your husband can be attracted to me, you bleach blonde, unattractive, self-centered jerk!"

Narcissa, not knowing what else to say, sniffed. Lucius couldn't help laughing. That was the best comeback he had heard in forever. "That was smooth, Cissa, you have to admit," he said, laughing at the look on his wife's face.

"Go away, Lucius, and take your little 'date' with you. I'll see you later. We can have some real fun, unlike you'd want to have on this little 'date'," Cissa said, smirking at Cho.

Lucius glared one of his trademark evil glares at her. "You know what, Cissa, I'm not really sure you know me all that well. Or my date, for that matter. I'll see you around," he said, grabbing Cho's arm and walking away.

As soon as he left, Sirius and Remus started laughing hysterically. "That- was- hilarious," Sirius said, gasping for breath, "You just got ditched for a 16 year old!" Lupin nodded, grabbing Sirius' shoulder so that he didn't fall over. "That was priceless," he said, almost choking, "I guess I'm not such a bad date, eh?"

At that moment, Professor Snape walked over, with Professor Sinistra following. "What just happened? I heard Black laughing like an idiot from across the room," Snape said, looking at the looks of amusement on Sirius and Lupin's faces, and the look of shock on Cissa's.

"Lucius just blew off Cissa for Cho Chang! It was hilarious!" Sirius said, laughing uncontrollably again. Snape looked a little surprised, but not very. "Come one, Snape, it was a shock! It was funny," Lupin said, surprised that Snape wasn't dying of laughter.

Snape rolled his eyes. "First of all, you are so immature. Second, this is Lucius we're talking about. Remember what happened last time we had a game show at Hogwarts? I am not too surprised that he would do this. He has a one track mind, as we all know, right Cissa?" he said, smirking.

"What are you hinting at, Sevvie?" she asked, annoyed. Sirius grinned, realizing what Snape was getting at. "The last time we had a game show, you were fifteen. Now you are thirty, and Draco is fifteen. You do the math," he said deductively, laughing once again.

Cissa did not look amused. "You know what I'm going to make you all do now," she said, looking around at Sirius, Lupin, Snape, Parvati, and Ally Sinistra. They all shook their heads, clueless. "We are going to find out what Lucius and Cho are up to," she said cunningly, "and we are going to make it worth his while not to be up to anything."

"Narcissa Malfoy!" Sirius said, feigning shock, "Are you asking us to SPY on your husband and his date?" Cissa nodded, unhappily admitting the fact that she now felt threatened.

Before Sirius could start laughing again, Snape answered, "I really don't know what I have to gain by going along with your stupid plan. I actually can't stand you, Cissa. But, I don't think Lucius deserves to get any action to make him even more stuck up. So I'm in- if Ally is."

Ally smiled at Sevvie, and nodded. Sirius was about to start laughing at this too, but Parvati, knowing laughing at Snape's date would mean sudden death for hers, quickly put her hand over his mouth.

Knowing just how to get to Parvati, he licked her hand. Without wanting to embarrass herself and have Professor Snape and Mrs. Malfoy find out, she settled for raising an eyebrow at Sirius. He just winked.

"Well, if Sevvie and Ally are spying on Lucius, and so are you, then I guess I have no choice, considering that I'm your date. Sirius, Parvati, would you please keep me company on this incredibly boring mission to piss Lucius off?" Lupin said, laughing now at the look on Snape's face that clearly said 'get them away!'.

Sirius and Parvati had obviously had other ideas of how to spend the evening, but Sirius, being the good friend that he was, and really wanting to embarrass Lucius, agreed for them to half-heartedly help.

Meanwhile, Lucius and Cho were on their way to the Slytherin Common Room talking angrily. "I cannot believe Narcissa's nerve! I am so a threat!" Lucius said, stopping to admire his clothes.

Cho nodded vehemently. She was probably as mad as Lucius about the whole thing, maybe madder. "I know! It's not fair that we're supposed to be the safe options here! We're not!" she said, still fuming.

Had they heard everything Narcissa had said when she was getting dressed and to her 'date' (Lupin), they would have been even madder. Luckily, they had only heard enough to make them as mad as they were now.

"So what do you think we should do?" Lucius asked, thinking hard, "We have to make everyone realize that we *aren't* 'safe'. Think. If you were my supposed wife, what would tick you off the most, and make you realize that I wasn't safe?"

Cho only had to think for a second before she came up with an answer. But she didn't know if either of them would want to go along with it. "I have an idea. It's a great idea, and it'll *really* get on Cissa's nerves. But I don't know if you're going to want to do it," she said, getting more excited and sure of herself as she spoke.

"I'm open to anything," Lucius said readily. Cho's smile widened. "Okay," she said, "This is a really great idea. Cissa will be totally jealous; it'll be a chance to get one of your least favorite people in the world (Harry Potter) mad; you'll get to embarrass your son in front of an audience; and no one will think that you're a safe bet."

"That sounds perfect," Lucius said, eyes sparkling maliciously. He was very surprised at the cunningness of Cho Chang. He hadn't thought that anyone would be able to match his cleverness. She-who-should-not-be-named (Cissa) certainly hadn't. But Cho was pretty smooth. She was also pretty hot. "Now let's hear what it is," he said with anticipation.