THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS! AND I AM SOOOOOOO SORRY THAT IT HAS TAKEN ME SOOOOOOO LONG TO UPDATE! This one is seriously messin' with the story line, but I already did that once, so whatever. Anyways, this one is off the episode where Yugi's soul is taken after Yami lost the duel to Rafeal. And all 'curses' are now 'bleeps.' Enjoy! (Please read and review, too! )
Disclaimer: Don't own nothing already copyrighted; including YGO, and quite glad too. I mean- if you owned a very popular show/manga/whatever you want to call it, then you'd have to keep thinking up new all powerful cards and new story twists and plots! but then again... that could be fun... you could make someone shave off Yugi's hair and then dye his clothes! Hmmm... Does anyone have a bit of cash to lend me..? Ya know- a couple of million..? I'll share the rights with you! j/k
Chapter Eight: Newbies
There was a sudden jolt as the rope ladder Rafeal was clinging onto for dear life was being trailed off by a helicopter. Nearly crying out- but quickly remembering that it wouldn't look too good for him if his enemies knew he was just an itsy bitsy bit afraid of heights- he glanced down at the bottom rungs, thankfully about ten feet below his feet. "Oh great..," he muttered, rolling his eyes as two other idiots joined him in clinging onto the rungs for dear life.
His attention was drawn back up towards the helicopter as the driver and part-time psycho, Alister, leaned over the open edge, shouting down, "Are you climbing up here or not, Rafeal? I can't pull you up- you know that!"
He's asking me to move from my safe position on a rickety, badly strung together bits of STRING! What is wrong with him! Shoving thoughts of slipping on one of the rungs and plummeting to a very painful death, the blond replied as... well, as calmly as possible with thoughts of impending doom written all over his mind, "Aren't you supposed to driving the helicopter, you baboon?"
"Oh beep- you're right!" the redhead swore and hurried back to the cockpit. He had gotten to used to there being manual controls- too used to them that he sometimes forgot when they were there and when they weren't...
Rafeal rolled his eyes and glanced back down to the two stowaways. What are they doing..? Fighting! In the air, only about two thousand feet above very sharp, death-causing rocks! Tightening his grip on the rung- and gulping down a sudden lump in his throat-, Rafeal repeated the previous mutter, "Oh great..."
"So wait a minute- if you played this card first, then why didn't Yugi just counter it with some trap or another?" The first stowaway demanded, shoving his companion's most prized card in his face.
The three of them had gotten up into the helicopter shortly after Alister had found a nifty button that enabled the machine to pull the ladder back up. Since then, about fifteen minutes later, Rafeal and the redhead had stayed mostly silent, forced to listen to the two annoying shrimps practically yell back and forth at each other. It was worse than any normal Thursday back at Headquarters. Let's leave it at that.
The green-haired companion, gingerly took the card out of the brunette stowaway's hands. He let his companion suffer a little as he took his good time fixing a pair of oversized, bug fashioned eye glasses over his nose. Apparently the glasses were always falling off, as he had to readjust them every two seconds. The sunlight would then glint off the lenses and onto the windshield... and then into Alister's sunglasses, making him swear under his breath and pray that there wasn't any large rocks in the way at that moment.
"Because," the pip-squeak finally said in what sounded like, after fifteen minutes of conversation, a permanently whiny voice, "he didn't have a trap set. Besides- once we get.. you know... then I'll beat Yugi and that'll be that! No more traps in store for me! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
In the front, seated beside a swearing Alister, Rafeal cringed. Once they got back and the two were rejected by Dartz, he could not wait to personally fling them out into open air and hear their screams as they plummeted down to earth. Of course... he could just imagine that they'd sound just as annoying as they did now, but... well...
The brunette rolled his eyes, muttering in a very gravely voice, "Yeah right; you still couldn't beat Yugi even now, Weevil."
"I heard that, you baffoon!" Weevil whacked his friend over his head, making the guy's eyes go cross-eyed for a second. "Not like you could beat Wheeler, Rex- so I wouldn't be talking if I were you!"
Rex recovered quickly- unfortunately- and retaliated with a blow aimed at Weevil's head. Unfortunately for him, the green-haired shrimp ducked at the last second with a cry. "I will be able once... well, ya know."
"Yeah right."
In the front, Rafeal cringed again, as his mind finally took a guess at what the two morons were following them for; to get the Orichalchos Stone. Oh boy, were they going to get a surprise from Dartz when they got back...
"Bleepin' sun! Holy bleepin bleep!" Alister half muttered, half growled as the moron in the back readjusted his glasses again.
"Now look you two," just before they finally got to what could be called freedom- in a sense- Rafeal found the poor timing on Alister's part rather annoying. Why couldn't he have said everything back on the helicopter when he had nearly shouted himself hoarse? "Master Dartz isn't as... patient as we are- so I wouldn't suggest yapping your heads off on stupid trains of thought."
"Or whacking each other over the head," the blond suggested. Hey, if they were going to warn the two fools, might as well be as thorough as possible.
"Or readjusting your glasses every two seconds."
"Or talking back."
"Or suddenly breaking off on an irrelevant argument."
The brunette rolled his eyes even as his companion enjoyed throwing glaring rays of light into Alister's sunglasses. "Should we just turn around and go back to where we came from?"
"Please do- AND QUIT IT WITH THE BLEEPIN' GLASSES ALREADY!"
Weevil sniffed, but did as he was told. "So are we going to meet this 'Dartz' or not?"
Rafeal glared down at Alister- lucky for him, he was just barely taller than the redhead, so it wasn't impossible to stare down on him- to keep him from strangling the annoying shrimp. Hopefully he wouldn't have to physically restrain him from committing murder... "Yes, just... don't be yourself."
Ignoring the glares from the two, Rafeal and Alister half pushed, half kicked- Alister was still a little miffed- the large door onto the meeting room, where their boss would be.
Behind his favorite high-back revolving chair- complete with a cup holder- Dartz crunched the Styrofoam cup in one hand. Ever since Rafeal's crazed rampaging he had taken to drinking his coffee out of Styrofoam instead of ceramic mugs. It ruined the taste, but they were disposable and easier to squish in one hand.
"If that baboon even thinks that he got the pharaoh's soul, then he has an extra week of cooking duty coming to him!" The Atlantean growled in harmony with the crunching noises.
On his right and a few chairs down, a certain blue-eyed brunette smirked. "Is that 'cause Raffy's a little slow an' needs ta learn 'bout the double soul part again, or is it because you like 'is cooking?"
Dartz gave him a glare, which was smirked off by the blithe teenager. "Perhaps I'll give Alister the privilege of cooking for once- just to mix things up a little."
"'Re you kiddin' me? 'E'll end up poisonin' us- you know he can't cook!"
"As if we haven't gotten a fair share of food poisoning from your misadventures in cooking, Valon."
"I asked Rafeal if the mild was still good an' he said it was!" The brunette protested with a sniff. "Besides... a little bout of Salmonella poisoning never hurt anyone."
"Alister couldn't move for almost a week."
Valon shrugged. "The bloke's a pansy- what can I say?"
Dartz opened his mouth to give the brunette EXACTLY what he could say, when the door busted open. Behind it stood two really annoyed looking Doom bike riders and... who the Atlanta are they..? "You're late," the boss snipped for lack of anything else to say.
"Last week- didn't you say the milk was still good? You did, right?" Valon cried out, making the poor blond's head ache. "Oh, an' you didn't get the pharaoh's soul, by the way..."
"Wha-? No- I said that it had expired two weeks ago," Rafeal replied absentmindedly. "And we're late because of those two." The slightest gesture was made to the two shrimps, who had up to that point ignored the conversation and had been looking around at their new surroundings.
"Now," the brunette mused, nodding his head, "Now this place looks a bit more like a secret hideout." He adjusted his hat and continued on with a smirk, "Especially with a fellow shrimp here."
Valon caught the glance from the brunette and frowned. He pushed back his chair and stood up, easily showing that he wasn't a 'shrimp.' "I'm no shrimp, shrimp."
"Dang it; we really are in the land of giants!" The brunette elbowed his companion, taking no heed of the Australian's glares.
"Quit elbowing me, you simple-minded dino head!"
From his place leaning against the wall by the door, Alister rolled his eyes and muttered, "As if riding off the edge of a cliff on a bicycle in order to get hold of a rope ladder was ingenious..."
The green haired kid's eyes narrowed at the remark. "Well, if blondie hadn't chopped the ladder to get to... whatever that rock thingy is called-"
"A plateau?"
"-Whatever!- then we wouldn't have had to go to such drastic measures!"
"Blondie!" Rafeal growled. He had been called many things before, must of them unpleasant, but not 'blondie.' Of course, no one had stuck around long enough after their first insult to even consider calling him 'blondie'...
Rex gave Rafeal a sympathetic look. "Don't worry- he insults me all the time."
"As if I care..."
"Enough!" Dartz cried out, bringing all rising arguments to a halt. "Now- who are you two and what do you want?"
The two stowaways exchanged looks and with a shrug the brunette turned back, replying for both, "I'm Rex and the insect brain over here is Weevil."
"Hey!"
"And we're here- ow!- 'cause we'd like ta join ya!" Rex proclaimed loudly, rubbing the spot on his head where his companion had hit him. "So... where's the sign-up sheet? Or the application form?"
Valon sat back down in his seat, still glaring daggers at the brunette. "Out back near the exit, bloke."
"You really ARE an Australian! Sweet! Ya know- my mom was supposedly from Australia, but my family never went back not even for a visit! so I never actually got to see the place and-" The daggers being thrown at the brunette was increased as Rex prattled on in excited tones. "I even know a song about da Land down unduh! Ready? Here it goes: I come from the land down unduh/ Where-"
Before anyone could restrain him, Valon had gotten out of his seat again and whacked him upside the head. "That is NOT 'ow you sing that song!" he growled out, holding up the kid by the front of his shirt.
"Uh... okay..," Rex muttered, feeling as if he was being held over a really, really, really high cliff. Very high. SOOOOOOO HIGH! Ahem... "Would you put me dow- ack!"
"Just don't start singin' that song again... And don't mess with me!"
"Valon, go sit back down and shut up. Alister, you have an extra week of cooking duty. And you can shut up too. Rafeal... well... I'll come back to you. And you two," having neatly cut through the arguments and punished his employees, Dartz could now turn his full attention on the newbies.
The two began to literally shake in their shoes and back up as a very miffed Dartz hovered over them, eyes narrowed to slits. Whimpers escaped, mostly incoherent. The words that weren't incoherent were as follows; 'I want my mommy- but don't tell anyone I said that,' and 'gerroff my foot, you dino brain! And let go of my hand!'
"Here. And stop with the shaking and whimpering already- you're acting more frightened than Valon did."
"Hey!"
"I SAID TO SHUT UP! Anyways... quit it- I leave the killing to my employees," ignoring the glares from Valon- poor guy- Dartz handed the two newbies a duel card each. A mixture expression of relief and joy filled in the empty space on their faces... until they saw the ever so lovely picture on the magic card given to them.
Rex blinked in surprise, then turned his own glare up at their new 'boss.' "Hey! These cards are blank! What kind of joke are you trying to pull, eh!" Weevil nodded in agreement, adjusting his glasses in annoyance... and once again sending light rays into Alister's sunglasses again.
"I said to SHUT UP! WHAT IS SO BLEEPIN' HARD ABOUT THAT, EH!" In more quieter tones.., "One more word out of the either of you- even you Rafeal, so make that the three of you- and you'll ALLLLLL be dueling in tutus again!" Ignoring the mouthed-out words of protests, Dartz turned back towards- or down- to Rex and Weevil. "If you can hold onto these, then your in. If you can't, then..."
"Then we can just color these in ourselves..?" Rex offered. "It'll be annoying tryin' to use a ruler to get all the lines right... but I think we can do it."
"No."
"Then we'll just get to go?"
"No."
"We win a prize?"
"Not quite."
"Uh... well, how 'bout-"
"Grr... JUST HOLD THIS FOR A SECOND!" Grabbing hold of both Weevil and Rex before they could run away in terror, Dartz forced two shards of green crystal into the boys' hands. "Now, please explode. Actually, implode; there'll be less of a mess to clean up afterwards."
Rex and Weevil exchanged uneasy glances. Exploding hadn't been on their 'To Do' lists for quite a while now. "Sorry sir," Rex said with a shrug, loosening his grip over the crystal, "but I don't feel like I'm exploding. Though my left hand feels all fuzzy."
"...Fuzzy..?"
"Yeah! Fuzzy..."
From his safe distance out of his boss's immediate reach, Valon smirked and offered, "Maybe that's because your hand is on top o' your head, mate."
"Oh... right..."
Resisting the urge to strangle something- or more likely, someone- Dartz made his way back to his seat. Stiffly, he brought the conversation back to the original topic, "Well, now that that has been taken of... Welcome, Rex and Weevil, to our little... family. And a largely dysfunctional one at that."
"As if the last two minutes haven't been enough proof of that," Weevil muttered. He went to adjust his glasses again- to keep them from sliding off and to add more sarcasm to his point- but received enough glares from the tall redhead to refrain.
"Quite," Dartz agreed from his new place in his favorite chair- complete with a cup holder. "Now, Valon and Rafeal will show you off to phase two of... initiation. Alister- go make some lunch for everybody. And this time don't burn anything. Oh! And get me an aspirin, would you?"
Ignoring the snickers from the group, the redhead muttered a 'Yes sir,' and walked off. Shortly after him came a silent Rafeal and Valon, forced to bring the chatting-like-schoolgirls Weevil and Rex to wherever they were going.
With a sigh, Dartz leaned further back into his chair. Life around here would get much more... interesting after this. At the very least, it'll make betting with Rafeal on how long Valon could stay out of a fight more entertaining.
"Wow... That's a LOT of cards!" As soon as Rafeal and Valon had pushed open the doors, Rex's eyes had bugged out at the sight of every single card ever made in the entire world displayed in numerous glass counters. He and Weevil browsed along the aisles, shooting Rafeal and Valon questions that meant nothing.
Weevil's hand strayed to his glasses and this time it was the large blond that got the reflected rays of light in his vision. "So we can take whatever card we want- right?"
Dodging out of the hopping and cursing blond's way, Valon replied, "That's right. Just not the God cards- got it? OW! That was my BLEEPIN' FOOT, bloke!"
"Why not?" Rex shoot back from his place near the back of the room. There were all of the dinosaur cards, arranged in a beautiful display of alphabetical and power order... Sniff... He could just cry from the beauty of it all...
"Crossing the streams..."
"That's from Ghostbusters."
"Right- and the same concept applies here; use the God Cards and Orichalcos together and get fried. Go' it?"
Rex winced and turned back to the display of monsters. "Ouch..."
"Exactly," Rafeal muttered, rubbing at his eyes. Now he could understand why Alister had gone into all of those barrel rolls- those glasses didn't just reflect light, they magnified its power! "Now are you two done?"
Valon leaned back against the wall, looking upwards thoughtfully. "Although... watching someone twitching and writhing in agony might be kinda've amusing..."
"We would be if we could get at the cards, dolt," Weevil replied for both of them. "It's not like we can just wiggle our fingers over the case and go 'Abra Kadabra' and get the cards."
"And it'd be an efficient way to get rid of idiots... or pests... hmmm..."
"Hey Weevil- I don't like the way that bloke is lookin' at me..," Rex whined, poking his companion in the shoulder. He kept a close eye on the slowly smiling Valon, who stopped glaring at him for the first time that day.
Ignoring the smug tones in Weevil's voice and the recent developments, Rafeal dug in his pockets for a key to open the cases. After each of them had been 'initiated' in the Doom Bikers, they had been given a copy of the key that would allow them access to the cases if they wanted to change their decks. "Hmm.. Hey Valon- do you have your key with you? I think I forgot mine..."
"And it would be interesting to watch what would happen after the duel was over... I mean- if you already died from the shock, then would your soul still be given over to the Orichalcos?"
"Valon! Snap out of it already!" Rafeal even went so far as to snap his fingers in front of the brunette's face to try to get his attention. It didn't work. "Valon!"
"And if your soul was still taken away, then would it count as a whole soul? You'd think that it'd only count as half, but who knows? Hmmm..."
Weevil's eyes narrowed. "Does he always act like this? And I thought you guys weren't drug addicts..."
"Wha-? Oh, no! We're not addicts- I quit three years ago myself- and he only acts like this when he starts thinking seriously... Valon- snap out of it, you stupid oaf!"
Suddenly inspired, Valon ran off towards the very back of the room, where the three God cards were displayed under 'spot lights.' In other words, they were illuminated by flashlights suspended by wires because the electricity bills were getting too high to illuminate the whole room with fluorescent lighting. He slipped his copy of the key out of his pocket and opened up the case, selecting the Slifer the Sky Dragon. He took his time closing up the case and walking back towards the stunned group.
"Hey Rex... ya wanna be part of a experiment..?"
Rex's eyes doubled from the mischievous tones in Valon's voice and the implication the words held. "HELP! HE'S GONNA KIIIIIIIILLLLL MEEEEEE!" Before you could say, 'Rex the Stupidest Paleontologist Ever' he was running out the door, a suddenly hyper Australian right on his tail.
"WAIT! IT'S ONLY A EXPERIMENT, MATE! NO ONE'S GONNA GE' HURT! Yet... COME BACK 'ERE!"
Weevil and Rafeal exchanged glances, shrugged, and followed at a slow pace. Why get in that mess when you can laugh as the 'victor' was punished horribly because of his idiocy?
Inside the kitchen, dressed in layers upon layers of 'protective' equipment- multiple aprons, several pairs of gloves and for whatever reason, a gas mask- Alister squeaked his way around, trying his best to not burn anything. Or get burned. For whatever reason, Rafeal had found today a good day to make hamburgers or something along those lines for lunch, as that was the only thing that was defrosted. Drat.
He turned the stove top on placed a pan gingerly on top, wincing at the hissing sound the water from the undried pan made as it hit. If Valon complained over the burnt edges or something stupid like that, he was going to get a nasty surprise; can we say a smack over the head with a frying pan that was still scorching hot?
Before he got any farther than that, though, the kitchen door banged open and in came... Rex..? The guy was screaming as loud as a singer in a bad rock concert, giving the redhead an instant headache. Valon came crashing through the door shortly after, waving a card through the air and following Rex around in circles, laughing maniacally all the way. Finally, Rex tripped over a chair leg, spilling onto the ground. The Australian was on him in a heartbeat, pinning him to the ground.
"I dare ya, pansy! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Alister watched for a few seconds, and slowly started to smile himself. This could be fun...
In one smooth moment, he whipped off the bird wing-like gloves and had the badly mixtured groundbeef and various other ingredients in hand. Taking precious little time to roll the gross concoction in a beefball- a version of a snowball- he pinned the back of Valon's head first. Before the Aussie realized what was going on, the rest of his head was covered with chunks of meat.
Rex wasn't spared either; he got nailed in the face. The carnage didn't stop there. Before the two had gotten behind a kitchen counter, they were both almost completely covered in the beefballs. Every time either one looked over the edge to see if the redhead was going to chuck another beefball, he would, making the two scurry back for cover.
Leaning back into a kitchen chair, Alister smiled to himself, rolling the next chunk of raw 'hamburger' into a beefball. Yes, this was much more fun than trying to cook. Behind him, the frying pan was starting to smoke...
Rafeal and Weevil followed the sounds of maniacal laughter easily; sound traveled easy and Valon's voice was hard to miss. Strangely, though, the laughter stopped as soon as the two reached the kitchen doorway.
"Where's this?" Weevil asked, frowning slightly. He was going to have to ask for a tour of this place, a tradition he had tried to avoid ever since he was a little kid and had been forced into tours of every single place he had gone to- even if he only going to be there for a second at most.
"The kitchen," the blond answered, opening the door. A large beefball flew out of seemingly no where's, nailing him right in the face. Weevil's frown vanished as another large beefball nailed him. "..And that would be Alister..." Rafeal continued behind a mask of impenetrable beef mixture. Hmmm... he was going to have to teach Alister how to make hamburgers someday...
The insect fanatic wiped the badly mixed burger bits off of his face, face screwed up in disgust. "So I noticed..," he growled. "Does this happen often?"
"Usually with duct tape and glue."
"Some how that doesn't surprise me much."
Rafeal shrugged and swung the door closed again, just before another beefball smacked them in the head. "C'mon- time to go."
"Go where?"
"Go buy some ingredients for apple pie."
"We're gonna make a pie..?"
"You'll see."
From behind the counter, both brunettes slowly- very slowly- came to a compromise. As soon as they had taken care of Alister, Valon would go back to chasing Rex around and trying to pound his beanie covered head in. Rex meanwhile, would happily run around, screaming himself hoarse.
"So... we agree now?" Valon asked, sticking out a hand for a handshake.
Rex took a moment to think over the terms, shrugged and shook on it. "Yeah sure- anything to get out of Psycho Pixie's way."
"Psycho Pixie? 'ey- that's wha' Rafeal called Alister when he went crazy for an afternoon!"
"...Should I ask...?"
Valon shook his head, daring a peek around the corner. The beefblob almost took off his glasses. "No. Now... we need some ammunition..."
"Would dust bunnies do?" Rex asked, holding up two tiny balls of dusty fluff. "I don't think they'd be able to travel that far though..."
"No- but I have a better idea. That cabinet nearest to us has all the ingredients we need. I'll go and try to get everything. You... try to distract the redheaded pixie." The Australian inched towards the corner.
Rex followed after him, just awaiting for a beefball to nail him in the head. "How am I supposed to distract him using dust bunnies?"
"I never said to use the dust bunnies, mate."
"..Oh.."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Would you please stop yelling in my ear?" Rafeal shouted as loud as he could, not coming within an inch of getting over the insect fanatic's voice. The poor kid was forced to ride on the back of the blond's motorcycle, as he still didn't have a drivers license. "You're turning blue, by the way- think about inhaling; it saves lives."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Look- my driving skills are NOT that bad! You should see what Valon and Alister get themselves into! It's a miracle that Alister can still call himself a pacifist after all of those shouting matches he's gottin' into!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Okay, look- you stay here while I go to get the stuff, all right?" Valon asked, resisting the urge to bang his head against their only shelter. This guy was getting very annoying again... "And don't do anything stupid while I'm gone. Oh- and try to learn from this; maybe you can stop being such a bloke."
"Isn't a bloke a good thing?"
"Not in the way I said it two seconds ago, bloke." Not awaiting for a reply, the brunette turned back to business, taking the shortest of looks out from behind the counter. The redheaded pixie was busily mixing more ammunition up for the disastrous beefballs and was paying little attention to what the two of them were doing. "See ya on the flip side!"
"Okay," Rex said, watching as his newly made friend suddenly leaped out and rolled along the floor towards the other side of the room. Apparently the pixie had taken notice of the new developments and started flinging more beefballs. Miraculously, none hit the Australian, and he came to a stop by banging into the wall; head first. "Ouch... that had ta hurt..."
Valon came to the same conclusion; it was after all, his head that had hit the wall. Fortunately though, it seemed that Mai was right in saying he had a very hard head- he didn't stay dazed and drooling onto his shirt for long.
"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" Alister's singing voice called out to them. "COME ON OUT, YA PANSY!"
"So sorry, Ali- but no," Valon muttered, slowly getting to his knees. Let's see... to get to the cabinet required an ungodly amount of time to get all of the things they'd need. Oh well, the good die young. So decided he literally jumped up- was instantly nailed by a million beefballs- swung the cabinet up and grabbed every thing his hands came in contact with.
Rex relaxed against the shelter wall, continuing the head game between the two dust bunnies. "Don't leave me, Fred!" The one dust bunny that looked as though it had a badly shaped hat on said.
"Oh, but I must! I love the chick down the street far more than I could ever... EVER love you, Frieda!" The other said, turning its cheating back and 'walking' away.
"NOOOOOOOOO!"
Back to the real action. "AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!" With everything he had in hand, Valon leapt back over towards the 'shelter', wincing as more of the dang beefballs hit him. It seems that Alister has been working on his aim...
He landed right in Rex's lap, bringing the other brunette back to reality. They landed in a messy tangle, ingredients everywhere. "Hullo again," Valon muttered around a mouthful of beef and all manner of... things...
Rex blinked several times in surprise, but replied back civilly enough, "Hello. How long have you been gone again?"
"Weevil- do you have a quarter?" Rafeal asked, searching his pockets. He'd rather not break the dollar over a lousy twenty five cents.
Weevil muttered something obscene, but checked his own pockets. "Just use the dollar."
"Not unless if one of us has a quarter."
"Nope. But I do have two dimes and five pennies."
Rafeal rolled his eyes and asked, "May I borrow the two dimes and five pennies, then?"
"Sure."
"Thank you."
"Your welcome."
Rex looked down at the crude mixture they had concocted with the flour, cinnamon, dried apple pieces and molasses that the other had managed to grab. "Will this work?"
Valon shrugged, picking up a bit of the mess and starting to shape it up in a sphere. "Well le's find out..." He brought his arm back, and barely taking the time to aim at the redheaded pixie, threw the mess. He dodged beefballs that had been thrown in retaliation. "Well... it caught 'is attention."
"VALON, YOU LITTLE BEEPIN BEEP BEEP! YOU GOT MY HAIR!"
Rex picked up a bit of the mess himself, wincing as the cold molasses got all over his fingers. "It definitely caught his attention..."
"Right. So- ready... aim... fire!"
The fight became a war of the Messy Molasses Balls versus the Dreaded Beefballs.
"I still think we should be using water guns compared to this half-baked pie filling," Weevil muttered, blowing his bangs out of his vision in one annoyed breath. The green locks went right back into their original position, annoying him even more. "By the way- how are we going to get Alister with all of this mess?"
Rafeal shrugged, shifting his share of the mix from one arm to the other. The sooner they returned Dartz's vases in their proper places- pie filling absent- the better. "I figured that if he'd calm down if we drenched him with the stuff. Ever since we used apple pie on our boss, the poor guy has been a pie phobic."
"Wouldn't it be a bad idea to drench a 'pie phobic' with pie filling?"
"Um... Maybe..."
"Do you ever think anything through, you big lousy- NOOOOOO! I'M BLIIIIIIIIIIIND!"
"Too bad you can't be mute."
Weevil tried to aim a kick at the suddenly doubled Rafeal's leg, but predictably missed and fell flat on his rear. The vase came to a dangerously close angle of spilling the contents onto himself; not that he cared. "My glasses... they... they FELL into this stupid, bleepin' VASE!"
The blond knelt down beside the insect fanatic, placing the other vase next to his knee. "Is that all?" he asked, trying to keep the grateful tones out of his voice. For the entire time he had been stuck with the kid, he had been hoping the glasses that sent the burning rays of light into his eyes would disappear. For good.
"Is that... all...? Is that... ALL! IS THAT ALL!"
"Yeah...?"
With a growl, the green haired kid whipped the vase though the air, somehow spilling the contents out over the blond's head. "IS THAT ALL!"
With a sigh, Rafeal wiped the goop off of his face in one sweep of his arm. It was good that his trench coat was going to be dry-cleaned this weekend- he'd have to kill the kid if it had already been clean. "That was uncalled for."
"Oh really..?" Weevil squinted up at the blond, trying to glare at the same time. If only his parents hadn't had to wear glasses, then he might not have had to be as blind as a bat without his glasses. "TAKE THIS, THEN!"
"What the-! HEY! Quit that!" The blond found himself scurrying to his feet, only to land back onto the ground, closer to the door with each landing. Bug toys after bug cards after bug imitation items hit him over and over again as Weevil let loose his anger.
"HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE, HEE!" Shrieking laughter literally cut its way through the air until Weevil found himself down to his last centipede. "Oh darn..."
"That's it, you little punk!" Before Weevil could even consider whaling his companion with the last bug, he found himself being thrown through the kitchen door. "Take THAT!"
For the first time in the past two days, Dartz snapped a paper clip in half. If the poor bit of metal had a voice, it probably would say something- or shout something- along these lines: "HEEEEELLLLLP MEEEEE!" or... "NO! WAIT! I HAVE FOURTEEN KIDS AND A WIFE TO TAKE CARE OF!" or... "YOU BLEEPIN' BLEEP! LET ME GO!"
Unfortunately it didn't, otherwise it would have kept the poor fools in front of him amused in their last five minutes of life.
Dartz's narrowed eyes swept across the faces of the unhappy duelists, each in a mess. Valon would have to wash out his hair for another hour, only this time to clean out the egg and beef instead of pink dye. Rafeal was going to learn that pie filling was a good substitute for glue in the most inappropriate times. Dino Dynamite Rex... well... he was actually lucky- all he was going to have to deal with was icing a few bruises that his companion had managed to land on him.
Flashback:
Their ammunition gone, Rex and Weevil shivered in their boots under the menacing shadow thrown by the Psycho Pixie. Unfortunately for them, the hits they HAD managed to get had only angered their opponent more... and now they were going to get the complete force of his anger...
Until a little known flying insect by the name of Weevil Underwood crashed through the doors, hitting the oblivious Alister in the side. Hamburger mixture crashed to the floor, spilling out onto the floor and nearby humans. Rafeal came flying in two seconds later, pinning both Weevil and Alister to the ground.
"TAKE THAT YOU PUNK! AND THAT, AND THAT, AND THAT, AND THAT! BWAHAHAHAHA- NOW YOU ARE NOT SO HIGH AND MIGHTY, EH! HEH!"
Weevil squirmed his way out of the wrestling match that had suddenly begun, crawling his slow way towards the other two. "Well," the insect fanatic muttered, collapsing against the wall beside Rex, "that was unexpected."
Rex erupted into giggles, barely managing to get out, "Way to use those flying acrobatics, Weevil- which bug did you learn that trick from, eh?"
Unfortunately for him, he learned yet again that his companion did not appreciate bug jokes. Especially at his expense.
Shifting his gaze from one wrestling match to the other, Valon couldn't help but comment to his former friend, "Wow- you can really get yourself into trouble, bloke."
End Flashback.
Weevil was probably the luckiest one; all he had to do was collect his bug collection... at the mercy of Rafeal's supervision, that is. And as for Alister... martial arts lessons. And lessons in how to dry clean kitchen gloves.
"Now... does anyone have anything to say before I give you your... punishments..?"
Rex raised a hand, "Yes, I do. Isn't that long amount of writing before where our futures were already said enough of a given punishment?"
"No. Anyone else?"
"Can I go duel Wheeler now?" Valon asked, wiping out the latest drip of beef. He was going to kill Alister for getting his hair. It was so uncalled for.
"That's my job!"
"Aw, shut it, Dino brain," Weevil muttered, waving a hand at his friend, "It's not like you can beat Wheeler anyways."
Beside him, Alister rolled his eyes... and groaned from the jolt of pain. Rafeal had given him a few good punches before he woke up and realized he didn't have green hair. Or glasses. "As if you could beat the pharaoh. Or anyone else for that matter."
"WHAT!"
Rafeal never said a word, but still managed to keep everyone quiet. One good growl was all that was needed.
If it had been possible, their boss's eyes would have narrowed even more. "ALLLLLL of you keep quiet. As for your punishments..," his eyes sweeped over the fools again, and he slowly smiled, enjoying the look on their faces as a result, "Well... How does extra chores, humiliating hobby lessons, family time together and a... switch in dueling assignments sound to you...?"
"When you say, 'switch in dueling assignments,'" Valon began, inching forward and resting a hand on Dartz's desktop, "do you mean... like... I could be chasin' after the snotty nosed Seto something or another-"
"Kaiba?"
"-shut it, pixie- instead o' Wheeler?"
Dartz smile widened, placing the two halves of the paper clip onto the desk. "You bet, Valon."
I am so sorry that this is (a) so chopped up, (b) badly written and most importantly, (c) took so long to update. Thank you all for reviewing SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much! Anyways- here is where you get to do some more... Besides reviewing- which I would love to see happen - you get to vote.
Would you like Weevil and Rex to stay for a while or... to leave immediately? And when I say immediately, I mean I get 'rid' of them in the next chapter. It's your choice so... PLEASE REVIEW AND VOTE! THANK YOU SO VERY, VERY, VERY, MUCH FOR THOSE THAT HAVE WAITED THIS LONG FOR MY LAZY BUTT TO FINISH THIS CHAPTER! COOKIES FOR ALL! Once I can bake one without burning the bottom... COOKIES FOR ALL! EAT THE COOKIES! EAT THE COOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKIIIIIEEEEEEES!
