The night sky was clear, showing an abundance of stars.
Groups of fireflies could be seen, small yellow spots in the distance, moving about like miniature will-o-whisps.
Crickets and cicadas contributed mightily to the music of the night. That contrasted with the faint sound of music reaching that dark and relatively desolate area. The dance was stilling going on, and would be, late into the night.
"It's beautiful, I guess." Naruto sighed, peering up at the heavens. He leaned his full weight against the railing of the old bridge. The magnificent structure arced over a large pond, its artful carvings and subtle architecture near invisible in the night. "But, when have I ever really cared about that?"
Somewhere to his right, a frog made its call. It had him making a self-deprecating remark under his breath. He knew some frogs. Well, demon frogs. They were good people, in a sense. But, they fit in well with others of their kind. He might as well be a frog himself, all things considered.
"At least some of the frogs in stories turn into princes when they get kissed." He looked up at the moon, before seeing how large and distorted its reflection looked on the water. "Probably won't matter to me. Who's going to kiss someone like me?"
He sneered, beginning to think poorly of himself again. Since when was he anyone to give up? "Well, since I'm out here alone, standing on Loser's Bridge." He kicked at one of the large support posts. That wasn't the bridge's true name. It was called 'The Magpie Bridge,' named for the bridge in the tragic Chinese love story about Niu Lang and Zhi Nü. The young men and women in Konoha referred to it as 'Lover's bridge,' as many couples strolled along it during dates.
There was a good reason for his melancholy state. In a life filled with so many harsh realities, he had never really taken the time to smell the flowers, so to speak. A good workout was exhilarating. Steaming bowls of Ramen and other noodles were satisfying. Having the goal of being Hokage was inspiring. But, when had there been time to appreciate beauty? When he was in the orphanage, a dreary stone building filled with even drearier people? As an Academy student, busy trying to gain even the smallest bit of attention and acceptance? As the genin sought by Akatsuki, sent off to train alone with a perverted hermit? During his nip and tuck encounter with those bastards?
"Sakura," he said, shaking his head. That was where beauty had caught his eyes. He wasn't pining over her any more. But, she had been the first. After her, his eye had fallen on many beautiful girls, to no greater effect. He had been entranced by Tsunade's womanly attributes, even as he had been infuriated by her initial dismissal of the Leaf. He had gotten a strong crush on Fujimi Yuki… Princess Koyuki… knowing that he was too young to ever seriously think about someone like her. There had been numerous women and girls that he had seen with Jiraiya, through telescopes or holes cut into onsen fences.
"It's easy to want something," Naruto said, suddenly feeling very angry. He had been shunned for much of his life. That had changed, when he made friends and proved to them that his heart was in the right place. But, he still felt left out in some ways. "It's a lot harder to be wanted." Wasn't that the truth!
Always a bride's maid, never a bride. Naruto had heard that saying before, and had scoffed. What did he care about brides and bridesmaid? But, the gist of that homily could be applied to other people as well. He was always a friend and a staunch comrade; but, none of the girls he tried to approach were interested in dating him.
"It really sucks," he said, taking out a shuriken and throwing at the eavesdropping moon. "Why can't I have what everybody else has?"
Sakura was still chasing after Sasuke, now that he had been accepted back into the Leaf. Shikamaru had his choice of Temari and Ino, but didn't seem interested in either of them. Ten Ten was still trying to get her hooks into Neji, and Kiba was making the rounds with a number of cute genin. Kurenai had given up hope for Asuma, and turned her attention to Kakashi. Even Anko had a number of suitors.
"Maybe I'm not someone worth dating," he said. "But, I can't change who I am." Yes, he was loud and impulsive. But, those characteristics had served him well in numerous situations. True, he was kind of scruffy looking, even though he fancied himself to be looking more and more like the Fourth, the taller he got. He might not be a genius like Kakashi, Sasuke, Neji, or Shikamaru, but he often came up with solutions that none of those prodigies could hope to devise. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do…"
Hell, he didn't even know what to talk about with a girl. Clever words seemed to come so easily to the other guys. On the rare occasion that he did have something profound to say, he had difficulty getting it out, or the girl he was speaking with didn't seem interested. The same thing happened again tonight. A number of the younger girls were polite enough to dance with him, and a few had even conversed pleasntly with him for a while. But, there had been no spark, no true interest. He had chattered away like some kind of trained monkey. It made him feel embarrassed, thinking about it now.
Naruto tensed up. He turned abruptly, facing one end of the long wooden bridge. Was that a footstep? There! He heard the sound again. It was very faint, either because the person was very skilled, or very hesitant. Could it be an enemy? After Akatsuki had been scattered to the four winds, he had thought that he would have some peace. He knew that was a foolish hope, given who and what he was.
Maybe it was one of the girls! Could it be, that one of the cute genin had been to shy to pay him attention in front of her peers? Might one of them have followed him here? His hope soon evaporated. It was probably some couple, sneaking away to be some place romantic. Great! That's all he needed, some pair to start making out, rubbing even more salt into his wounds.
He heard the sound again. This time, it was a long series of footsteps, which abruptly stopped again. It sounded like one person, not two. It could be that some girl had come here waiting for her boyfriend. Or, maybe he wasn't the only one who had left the dance alone, looking for some place to think.
"Geeez. I guess I better find out one way or another." Naruto grumbled under his breath. He was not in a great mood. If it was some guy, he might just tell him to get lost. He chose this spot first! Slapping at a persistent mosquito, he began walking towards the unknown individual.
Even in the moonlight, he needed to get pretty close to make out the identity of the other person. As he grew close enough, he could tell that it was someone of small stature. When he got closer still, he caught the faintest hint of perfume. Just before he spoke, the girl turned to face him, bring her hand to her mouth. The moon reflected off of strange eyes, shining as two smaller moons.
"Hinata?" Naruto guessed. "Is that you?"
"N-Naruto-kun?" It was Hinata.
"Yeh. What brings you to Loser's Bridge?" Naruto laughed, but soon stopped. That might not be a very kind way of putting things, if Hinata was here for a reason similar to his own. "Not that I'm saying… you know…"
Naruto wondered what Hinata must feel like. She always stayed near the back of the crowd at any dance or social function. She never sought dance partners herself, and few of the boys her age or older ever asked her to hit the dance floor. In some ways, she was the opposite of him. In others, she was painfully similar. That was one of the reasons that he never approached her, even though she was someone whose spirit he admired. He felt a bit guilty at his next thought, especially after admitting to himself earlier that he was no hunk by any stretch of the imagination. She was not someone he had ever found himself dreaming about, because she just wasn't as flashy as some girls, or as pretty as others.
That kind of though seemed hypocritical, somehow. No, not hypocritical. He couldn't put the right name on it. But, it was strange for someone who felt so strongly about people, and who made it a point to fight for the underdog, to ignore someone because she didn't measure up to some unofficial standard of beauty. Well, standing in the dark, looks didn't matter much. That went both ways.
"I'm… well…" Hinata's voice was very soft. "I just wanted some place to be alone. I didn't want to go home yet, though…" There was an odd wavering tone to her quiet words.
"I see," Naruto said. Once again, at a situation like this, he was at a lost of words. The two of them stood silently for a while.
"Wh-Why…" Hinata was the first to break the lengthy quietude. "Why are you here, Naruto-kun?"
"I just wanted to see the moon, that's all." Naruto bit his lip. Even so, he continued on with other words meant to salvage his pride. "All that music and dancing was giving me a headache, too."
Hinata didn't say anything. In the silence, Naruto's conscience began turning the thumbscrews.
"Actually," Naruto said. "To tell you the truth, I just felt lonely. I wanted to be alone, too." He scratched the back of his neck, saying "I'll leave, if you like."
"No… please…" Hinata's voice had started off louder, before she caught herself. "I… ummm… you were here first." There was a long pause. "I… I'll leave, if you want to be alone…"
"That's alright," Naruto said. "We can both be alone, I guess. We can do it together." What made him say that in those words? He was going to say that she could have her own part of the bridge if she liked, since the structure was so long and all.
"Really?" Hinata asked, a slight sound of hope in her voice. She rubbed her fingers together, hearing the eagerness of her own voice in the darkness. "I mean… if that's alright with you… I don't wish to be a burden."
Naruto tugged at one ear. For a moment, Hinata sounded like she was happy, being out here with another loser like her. No, that wasn't fair. Hinata wasn't a loser. If anything, pound for pound and talent for talent, she tried harder than any of the other shinobi, and that was truly saying something.
"You're not a burden, Hinata." Naruto looked up at the moon. He had felt like a burden in his early childhood, because that's what some of the caretakers had called him when they didn't know he was listening. He never understood why the village had people like that working at an orphanage, since orphans needed love just as much as any child. "From what I hear, you've gotten much stronger, and easily pull your weight."
"I… yes…" Hinata said. "I fight for my precious ones too, Naruto-kun…" She sighed. "But, I still feel like a burden to my father…" She put her hand over her mouth. Why had she brought that up here, especially at this moment?
"Huh?" Naruto scratched his head. Once again, he realized just how little he knew about the family life of his friends and fellow shinobi. "I thought he had taken you back into the family, when he reached out to Neji."
"He did," Hinata said, feeling her usual paradoxical sense of thanks and disappointment. "But, he still doesn't see me the same way that he sees Neji or my sister." She sighed. "He is always telling me to keep out of everyone's way when I head out on missions. He must think that I am a burden or nuisance to my teammates."
"But, Neji is teaching you Kaiten," Naruto said, confused. "That's a very difficult jutsu. I would think that your father would be proud."
Hinata didn't say anything for a moment. "I told him, once. He didn't seem to think that I would be successful." She paused. "He said that I was probably just wasting time that Neji could put to better use."
"That just doesn't sound fair!" Naruto felt a strong sense of sympathy for Hinata. He began getting really angry. He had seen so much of that kind of thing in his days, where the strong looked down on the weak. But Hinata wasn't really weak. He had thought that himself once, when he was in the Academy. She had proven him wrong when he encouraged her to fight Neji in their chuunin exam match. Neji had been mistaken in that regard too.
Hinata leaned over the railing, looking at the shadow the moonlight made. Her shadow looked strange and malformed. Was that how Naruto viewed the real her? She hugged herself tightly with her arms. Maybe that was how everyone saw Hyuuga Hinata.
"But… you still have family…" Naruto took out a kunei, held it in his hands for a moment, and then threw it out into the middle of the lengthy pond. "You have a home… history… everything…" He didn't say what he thought next: 'all I have is a stupid bastard fox'.
"I'm sorry, Naruto-kun…" Hinata took out her own kunei. Even though she had worn a formal dress, she made certain to bring along her weapons pouch just like the other ninjas did. In their lives, one could never tell when an emergency might come up, or when an enemy might deem to attack. She put the knife away instead of throwing it. She hated waste.
"For what?" Naruto asked. "Because you have a family? Or, because I don't…" He looked up at the moon again, wondering just what his parents had been like. "It's not like it's your fault, right?" He thought a moment. "Are you feeling guilty because you feel sad at the way your father treats you, while people like me don't have any family at all?"
"Ummm… well… I suppose…" Hinata knew that Naruto wasn't angry at her, and wasn't judging her. "Yes."
"You're such a nice girl," Naruto said, realizing it was true. "You're kinder and more considerate than most of the others… not that most of them are jerks or anything…" He took out a kunei. "Here. You can throw one of mine if you want." He had sensed her indecision about her own weapon. "And you don't need to feel guilty, you know. You have every right to feel bad."
"N-Naruto-kun…" She held the kunei against her chest, as if Naruto had just given her a corsage or bouquet of flowers.
"Things might get better, you know." Naruto felt some strange need to comfort the small girl. "You've already proven that to a lot of people, haven't you?" He nodded. "Now, maybe you need to prove it to yourself." He took out another kunei. "Bet I can throw mine further." He tossed the weapon, waiting to hear the splash it made. "I kept working hard too, when I was young. I didn't worry, wondering if things would get better. I had a goal. But, things certain did improve, right?"
"Yes," Hinata replied. She felt the breeze swirl around her, carrying with it a sense of chill. It didn't bother her. Naruto was talking to her. He was sharing his feeling with her, in a fashion. Not really wanting to part with the kunei, she threw it just the same, putting everything she had into it.
"Not bad," Naruto said. "Hah. Mine went further though." He smiled, knowing how much he must resemble a parrot at times. "After all, I'm going to be Hokage some day." He tugged at one ear for a moment, finding that he wanted to know Hinata's thoughts. "Do you have a big goal, Hinata? Is there something that you want more than anything else?"
"Ummm…" Hinata blushed. How could she tell him the truth about that, with him standing right there?
"Hey, it's alright if you don't." Naruto sounded somewhat disappointed. For some reason, he felt sad when other people didn't have some dream in life. "It's hard enough being shinobi. I know I wonder how long I might live, or what friends I might lose."
"I d-do…" Hinata said. "It's just…" She swallowed hard. She didn't want to think that Naruto might think poorly of her. But, she also could bear to come out and say 'I dream about you, Naruto-kun.'
"Is it something embarrassing?" Naruto chuckled. "I know that everyone makes fun of my obsession with Ramen. It doesn't really matter what someone likes, if it makes them happy..." He frowned, thinking about something. "…Unless it's something really selfish." Images of Orochimaru, Itachi, and Sasuke flashed across his mind. His friend had turned his life around, but not until a lot of people suffered through a great deal of pain and discomfort on his behalf.
Hinata didn't say anything. What could she offer in her defense? And, if she said too much, he might ask even more questions, getting too close to the truth.
Naruto stood there a moment, listening to the distant music again. His eyes widened. Aha! Maybe Hinata had something in common with him. "Is it a boy?" Now why had he asked that? It might make Hinata sadder yet, if she had her sights set on someone who didn't care anything about her.
Hinata made a small inarticulate sound. "Y-Yes…" That was as far as she would go. But, somehow, she felt a great burden lifted from her, after making that admission.
"I know how that is…" Naruto sighed. Then, he bit his tongue. "I meant with girls, not a guy!" There was no way he was going to let Hinata misinterpret that! "So, do you want to tell me who it is?"
"N-No…" Hinata flinched. She really did wish that she could tell Naruto. But, if he laughed or flat out seemed disinterested, she would be hurt. No, she would be crushed. Her dream might not be much, but it meant a great deal to her. It still helped her practice longer and try her hardest.
"OK," Naruto said. "That's alright." He rubbed his chin and frowned. "It's not a girl, is it?"
"No!" Hinata blinked rapidly.
"Hey. Just checking." Naruto sighed. He felt relieved. "Keep your hopes up. Someone like you deserves something good. Who knows what might happen?"
"Yes," Hinata answered. "I've always… ummm… I keep hoping…"
"Maybe you just need to bring him to a place like this, and tell him how you feel." Naruto shrugged. "Maybe he's lonely too." He caught a flash of moonlight in Hinata's eyes again. He didn't feel so alone, standing there talking with her.
"I…" Hinata grasped the railing with both hands. That kind of coincidence might be a gift from fate; but, Naruto had shown no indication that he was interested in her at all. He never asked her to dance. Out here in the dark, he had tried to flirt even once. "He… it's… ummm…" She closed her eyes. "He's never shown any interest in me at all…"
"Guys can be dumb that way," Naruto said. "Maybe he hasn't looked close enough, that's all." For some reason, those words made him feel sort of uneasy.
"Naruto-kun… I…" Hinata placed her hand over her mouth. There had been some urge just to speak the truth, to get things over with one way or another. Wouldn't that be foolish? Who knows what might happen in the future.
"Hinata?" Why had her voice sounded like that? If there was something important to say, why did she stop? Girls. That was the answer. They were inscrutable. It made no sense to even try. Oh. Maybe that was it. "Do you want me to put in a good word for you or something?"
Hinata just stood there staring. It was so surreal. The setting. The moment. An opportunity so close that she could literally reach out and touch it. And then, Naruto has to say something like that. The sound of the crickets seemed to grow in volume. The drone of cicadas seemed ominous, almost. The forlorn calling of the frog seemed to rub things in all that much more.
"Hinata?" Naruto wondered if he had overstepped the bounds of friendship. He didn't want to butt in or anything. "He doesn't already have a girl, does he?"
Hinata shook her head. She looked away from Naruto. So many hurtful thoughts rushed to her mind. She wanted to blurt them out, and hear Naruto deny them one by one. She was too small. She was too plain looking. She was too shy. She was too dark. She was too weird. She wasn't good enough for anyone.
"Don't think you're good enough?" Naruto said in a quiet voice, after the two of them had stood a while in silence. He had looked inside himself for that insight.
Hinata managed to nod her head.
"Yeh, I can see that." He sighed, meaning to say 'since I feel the same way myself.' He heard Hinata take a sudden gasp. "Wait, I didn't mean it that way. I mean…" He shook his head. "I'm so stupid, sometimes. Granny Tsunade is right. Maybe they should wire my mouth shut or something." He kicked at one of the posts. "I just meant to say that you don't seem to have a lot of confidence, even though you keep getting better."
Hinata took a half step closer to Naruto, but stopped. What had made her do that?
"I think I have too much confidence in things, even though…" Naruto put both hands behind his head and took a few steps, this way and that. "I have a lot of friends… and I've gotten a lot stronger… but that really doesn't make me a better person."
"You don't…" Hinata wanted to get the words out. It was for Naruto's good. If she would step in front of an attack thrown at him, why couldn't she tell him a truth that might make him feel better? "You don't need to be a better person. You're… ummm… you're special the way you are…" He really was! How many people had he helped find a better path, just by being who he was?
"Thanks, Hinata-chan…" Naruto rubbed his temples. "It's nice of you to try and make me feel better. But…"
"It's true," Hinata insisted. "At least that's what I think… I mean…"
Naruto just shook his head. Hinata was so nice, trying to cheer him up, especially when she herself was feeling down. He suddenly froze, missing the railing when he reached out for it. Her words… her actions in the past… the things that Sakura and the others had said, but he took in jest… they couldn't mean… could they?
He realized that he was a monumental dolt at times. For someone who could find remarkable solutions to problems, he sometimes overlooked things that were obvious to everyone else. Maybe it was wishful thinking of sorts, spurred on by some part of his pride that wanted to believe that someone somewhere could think that way about him.
Naruto felt a strong urge to laugh or joke, and then make light of things, asking Hinata for some kind of denial. If he had a suspicion, why not ask? What was one more rejection, right? It was best to get things off of his chest, before the question began haunting him. The silence stretched on yet again. "This guy you like… is he…" The easy question was 'Is he me?' He couldn't get those words out. "Does he stand out? You know, is he very… noticeable?"
"Y-Yes…" Hinata swallowed hard. Her heard began racing faster. She held her breath. Naruto hadn't stumbled upon the truth, had he?
"Did he grow up with family problems, like you did?" Naruto began feeling very strange. Part of his mind began thinking of Hinata almost as if she were some kind of consolation prize or something. That was terrible! No one deserved to be thought of that way. Another part was equally as obnoxious, wondering why he should have to settle for second, third, or even fourth best.
"Yes." Hinata kept from stammering that time. She promised herself to be honest, no matter what question Naruto might ask. After that, she would let the chips fall where they may. She felt dizzy though. Very dizzy. Part of her was excited, hoping. Another part wanted to run and hide, afraid that the rug would be pulled out from under her.
"Did he work really hard to improve himself, because no one thought much of him?" Naruto chided himself for some of t his thoughts. Forcing himself to be more charitable, he began to relax some. He didn't have to be perfect, or be the best. And, he didn't need to show people that he was better than they thought, by having the prettiest girls chasing after him. It was like Ramen. Some restaurants had bigger portions. Others had better looking bowls. That didn't matter to him. He chose to eat where the noodles tasted best.
"Yes," Hinata said, taking another half step before catching herself. "He still works very hard."
"I see," Naruto said. He had a good idea who Hinata must be talking about. He was such a dunce. There had been clues there all along, if he had been looking for them. But, did it really matter? Was Hinata someone that he could be interested in? He did feel a little hopeful now, realizing how she felt. But, how much of that feeling was due to her liking him? Would he feel the same, if some other girl bothered to take notice of him?
There were no easy answers. Some things take time. He ought to know that better than most people. But, at least he had something to think about. The silence became onerous after a while. Both he and Hinata had some idea of what the other must be thinking; but, neither knew just what the other was expecting at that moment.
Naruto was not about to ask any more questions. If Hinata wanted to come right out and make a confession, fine. But, he was not going to force the issue. He looked out across the pond, taking in the sight of a huge building, its lower level light up very brightly. The sound of festive music was coming from there.
"It's getting kind of chill out here, isn't it? Now that the wind has kicked up." He drummed his fingers against the railing.
"Yes, it is kind of cold." Hinata shuffled her feet a bit.
"I've kind of gotten stiff standing out here so long," Naruto added after coughing.
"M-Me too," Hinata said, rubbing her fingers together.
"Maybe I should stretch my legs some." Naruto cursed himself for a dweeb. Why was he feeling so nervous, all of a sudden? "Are… are you feeling stiff too, Hinata-chan?"
"I think so," Hinata answered.
"Do you think that dancing might loosen things up some?" Naruto grimaced. His damn face was growing warm! That was ridiculous. He had asked any number of girls to dance earlier in the evening.
"I guess… I think it would," Hinata said, bringing both hands up under her chin. She trembled, but not from the chill wind.
Naruto was quiet for a short stretch of time. Hinata felt the tension building. 'Please,' she prayed. 'Please don't let this moment pass!'
"You know… I don't think…" Naruto coughed again. "We've never danced together, have we?"
"Never," Hinata said. She didn't say 'except in my dreams.'
"Well, a Hokage should probably dance with as many women as he could!" Naruto struck a weak pose, thankful that the setting was so dark. That certainly sounded lame.
Hinata didn't say anything. She could have been disappointed. She wasn't. Naruto's action had her smiling, since it meant that he was feeling somewhat uncomfortable too. That made him seem all the more human to her.
"Would you like to head back to the dance?" Naruto asked.
"Yes," Hinata said. Part of her was mind was acting a lot more spunky than usual. She kept thinking the words 'Say it! Say it! Say it! Say it!' This was so nerve-wracking!
"Do you think…" Naruto paused.
"Yes!" Hinata said, speaking a lot louder than she had intended.
"You need to show a little more dignity," Naruto said, feeling a need to have fun at Hinata's expense. "Guys like that in a girl." He began walking along the bridge in the direction of the dance. "Now I forgot what I was going to ask..."
He reached the end of the structure and stopped. Hinata hadn't followed. "Hey, Hinata! Would you like to dance with me?" It was easier, now that she wasn't standing so close.
There was no answer. For a moment, Naruto worried that he had hurt Hinata's feelings, or ruined the mood. But, he heard footsteps. They grew louder and faster.
"I'll take that as a 'Yes'," Naruto said.
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THE END
