Being Nice

"Thanks for agreeing to meet me, Sirius."

"No need to thank me... anything for a cutie like you, Evans."

"Er... right. Anyway, I need to talk to you about your friend James."

"Ahh. What's the poor bugger done now? Stupid twit of a boy, pity he can't be more charming and irresistible like me."

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Someday you too, Evans, shall come to the light and recognize me in all my Glorious Sexiness."

"ANYway... so James said he has something important to talk to me about."

"Mhmm."

"Any idea what that might be about?"

"Perhaps."

"I'm serious, tell me what you know."

"First off, I'm Sirius... no, don't roll your eyes at me Evans, that's certainly not the way to get what you want... And second, I know nothing."

"Really."

"..."

"..."

"Okay, I might know something."

"What might you know?"

"It'll cost you."

"Oh for heaven's sake... fine."

"Tell me how absolutely irresistible you find me."

"For the love of all that is–"

"–SAY IT. Or no info."

"Oh bloody hell. Fine. I think you're unbelievably irresistible."

"Tell me you want me."

"SIRIUS!"

"Oh fine, don't get your knickers in a twist. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"..."

"..."

"So?"

"So what?"

"SIRIUS!"

"Oh. Right. That. Well... I might know that the Quidditch team is planning a huge victory party after we beat Ravenclaw in the final match next week. And I might know that Jamie-poo's planning on asking you to be his date for the evening."

"Oh... and what if you don't win?"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

"Right. Well, what should I do?"

"Tell him you'd love to."

"So... do you know if... does he like me, then?"

"Evans. Here I was, believing you to be the smartest witch in our year..."

"Shut up."

"And you really don't know that James Potter has been madly in love with you for years."

"I... wait, really? That long?"

"Indeed."

"Oh, okay then. Thank you!"

"..."

"..."

"Wow, what was that for?"

"For being such a nice friend."

"Wow, so that's the reward for being nice? Hmmm... say, Evans, where's your pal Lupin? I think I need to have a nice little chat with him..."