Thanks! Sunrise over the Tango factory and Zombie kitty, you rule! cheers for reviewing! x.x
…….
…….
So Rimmer left them there.
In Room 31.
With a load of ugly mutated killer fish.
Ah the peace and quiet!
…….
Lister slammed a fist into the wall, "The smegging git - he's buggered off and left us!"
"Well, sir, we are dealing with Mr Rimmer here."
"Yeah." Said Lister with a frown, "But I thought he had changed."
The crates were practically moving forward by themselves. They could smell the fish. It was enough to make them nearly puke. It was like rancid meat or milk left out in the sun… or Lister's laundry basket.
It was getting colder too.
Lister was a little more than scared, "What the smeg are we gonna smegging do!"
"I dunno bud! My trousers are completely torn and my suits are all the way on the other side of this door!"
"Cat – we're gonna get eaten alive by a load of ugly mutated killer fish!"
Cat sobbed, "And my trousers are torn!"
Kryten tried his best to control the situation before Cat and Lister had heart attacks, "Sirs please, calm down!"
Lister closed his eyes and breathed. "Okay, we're not gonna get eaten alive. We're gonna be absolutely fine."
One of the crates rattled menacingly.
Cat squealed, "All I'm saying is that it's a good job these trousers go with brown!"
The three crew members backed away slowly.
Kryten noticed something, "Mr Lister sir, what happened to your face?"
Lister touched the scratch marks tentatively, "I think a space weevil got at me."
Kryten looked a tad worried, "But space weevils don't have claws sir!"
"They – they don't?"
"No sir."
Cat frowned, "Oh bud, please don't tell me you got scratched by that huge killer fish that looks like a space weevil, but has massive claws!"
Lister poked the scratches with worry, "why?"
"What did you do with it?"
"… I killed it"
"Bud! I was keeping that for my brunch!"
"Sirs! This could be serious!"
"Yeah, now I'm gonna go hungry! I was looking forward to that!"
"No, I meant that the scratches could be infected or poisoned - or worse!"
"Oh yeah… I remember something…" the Cat pondered for a moment, while they hid behind a row of crates that had already been emptied, presumably by Cat.
He snapped his fingers, "I know! That fish thing was so poisonous that if you touched it you would die within a couple of days!"
Lister's heart skipped a beat, "WHAT?"
"I think anyway… or it might have been the one where you get really ill, and if you don't eat a tomato then you go into a coma… or the one where you feel fine until all your hair falls out!"
"Oh smeg. I'm gonna die!"
Cat sat down, leaning against the crate with a thoughtful look that didn't quite suit him, "Well I don't actually know, I mean, there are a lot of fish in here bud!"
"Mr Cat sir, if you don't mind me asking - why the smeg did you keep all these fish in here, and where the smeg did you get them from?"
"Well," Cat leaned in closer, motioning them to be quiet, "this is my secret supply, so don't tell anyone about it. I picked up these beauties from all the planets we go to. I'd hate for them to go to waste!"
"Sir that is the most incredibly stupid, and preposterous idea I've ever heard!"
"Thanks!"
…….
Meanwhile, Rimmer was having a nice quiet lie down on the bed. He listened for a moment with a smile; no guitar, no Cat moaning, no sounds of laundry. Just the sound of his Hammond organ music playing in the background.
He was in heaven.
Yeah, prodded a little voice in the back of his head, but your crewmates are in hell. Rimmer scowled and promptly told this voice to smeg off. He settled back against the covers with a smile. Ah… peace.
And so Rimmer's conscience smegged off, it didn't want to be stuck with a horrible git like him anyway.
…….
…….
Yeah… review please! Next chapter is coming very soon x.x
