Hehe. Thanks very very much to Reddwarfaddict and Zombie kitty: fantastically lovely people and the only reviewers for chapter four… Grr… ah well, you can't have it all - Now, on with the chappie! And you better thank me, because it's a very long one that will waste your time. Ha!

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Chapter five:

"You'll have to use the air ducts!" Rimmer said.

Kryten opened up the vent with a harsh clang, if he could wince he would have. But he didn't, because he couldn't. Lister's head was lolling around, his face a burning red. Kryten hurled him into the shaft as fast as he could. That darn fish had heard them.

Cat slunk over to them, "I could take that fish any day!"

"But sir we don't have the time, you must get into the duct."

"But… it looks so tasty!"

"I must insist sir!"

Cat stepped lightly into the shaft, "I can't believe I'm taking orders from someone who looks like something you'd use for tenderising meat!"

The fish was getting nearer, Kryten could see it standing on its fins and sucking in the putrid air around it. There was something about Ungotrillian Flopfish he had forgotten. He couldn't remember what it was, oh well, he thought as he clambered inside. Kryten shook his head, closing the vent with another hideous clang. The fish leapt forward. Kryten jumped back in surprise. Oh! He remembered now. They could squeeze through holes. Small holes. Small holes like the ones in the vent opening.

The disgusting fishy thing squished through the bars. It's head shrinking grotesquely.

Kryten squealed, "Run!"

…….

Something lurked in the very bowels of the ship. But no one gave a smeg; they were a bit preoccupied at the moment.

Several things laughed manically, their voices echoing of the darkened walls. Nobody noticed. They laughed harder, their voices shaking the doors and panels. But no one gave a cookie. Not a sugar drop. Not a piece of crap on the bottom of your new shoes you were desperately trying to keep clean but couldn't quite keep your self from accidentally stepping on a brown lump on the grass while wearing them. The things gave up and decided to get the crew in secret; it would be more fun…. And more evil! "MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

…….

Cat was already a couple of metres ahead, "Buddie where the hell are we supposed to go?"

"Just go forward sir." Kryten said. He was pulling Lister along with him, which was quite hard to do, seeing as they were in a vent just wide enough for one and a half people. He had decided not to tell Cat that the killer Ungotrillian Flopfish was right behind them. He didn't want to cause any panic.

Cat stopped, sniffing the air, "I can smell something bud, and it's pretty disgusting too."

"Please sir, move! We don't have much time!"

"It's getting closer! God, it really stinks!"

"Sir!"

"Oh wait – I know what it is! It's that fish-"

He was cut off when he saw the Ungotrillian Flopfish coming round the corner of the vent.

"Oh Shi-"

…….

"Holly?" Rimmer was pacing the corridor, "Are they out yet?"

"No Arnold, they're not out yet. I told you that 2 seconds ago."

Great. It was Arnold Judas Rimmer's fault yet again. He stopped his pacing wanting to sink to the floor. Looks like his conscience had come back from holiday. And Lister was hurt. It was always his fault.

"Can I do anything?" he asked softly,

"Of course you can't! You're soft light."

"I could tell them how to get out."
"Well… there is that." Holly stopped again, realising she was talking to an empty space. She groaned. That's the second time today!

…….

"Go left!" Rimmer yelled.

He could hear a lot of muffled scraping and shuffling coming from the vents above. They were heading right.

"Left! Left you stupid people!"

The sound continued to go right.

"You smegging goits! Go LEFT!"

No use, either they couldn't hear him, or they were just plain stupid. Rimmer considered this for a second, the second option seemed most likely. He ran back over to the screen.

"Holly?"

She rolled her eyes with a sigh, "Yes Arnold, what is it now?"

"They're going left!"

"Oh… and that's bad?"

"What – I don't know! You said it was!"

"I did?"

"Yes! What's to the right?"

"I haven't a clue."

Rimmer was getting a little more than annoyed, "Look Holly – what is to the right that's so bad?" he enunciated each syllable extremely clearly and accurately, "why-can't-they-go-through-the-vents-to-the-right?"

"Well… is it your right?"

"What?"

"Was it your right, or my right? Or was it their right?"

"I don't know!"

"Well then how am I supposed to answer!

"Okay, I think it was my right!"

"What - from where you are now?"

"No, from down the corridor."

"Right…" she thought about this, "what did you want to know again?"

"OH FOR SMEG'S SAKE!"

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Very bored here! Please review, and if ya didn't review for the last chappie can you do that too. Or put it in the same review… or whatever! Mm… this banana's nice. Anyway… Review please!