Yeah yeah yeah. It's another short chapter. I'm not inspired with this fic right now, indeed, I'm having the writers block from heck. This should do ya for now, though. I have a really horrible chapter comming up that I can write, however... /rubs hands together delightedly/ Lovely angsty.
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Sakura sat with her knees pulled up to her chest. She couldn't look at the world the way it was..... she couldn't bear to see anyone at all let alone some one she knew asleep..... like that..... forever. She found a place where she could sit, a place where no one would have been, and she didn't have to see any of the people of the world adrift in slumber.The Tsukimine shrine by the pond. There was no moon reflected in the water anymore, and there never would be again. The horrible weight of guilt bore down on her oppressively, and it seemed too much to bear. She did fail, and it all came true..... maybe she didn't truly believe Eriol when he had told her that this would happen, she hadn't tried hard enough, but there was still part of her that thought it couldn't be like this forever..... it couldn't possibly.....
Her glorious new staff leaned against a tree not that far away. It was beautiful..... but it only served to remind her that she had failed her guardians too. They were trapped in there, and they had believed she could do it..... she certainly proved them wrong.
No more tears came. She had cried herself out. It was all still very strange, and though some small part of her had resigned and fallen away..... most of her still believed that it would surely be alright. Those words had also failed her- it was her invincible spell that proved to be not quite so invincible. The one time it mattered the most and she didn't get it right, and now.....
She felt someone approach her from behind and she turned to look. She knew it could only be one person.....
'Sakura.' He said to her with that same enigmatic smile he always had. 'Why don't we keep each other company?'
'Was..... was that part of your plan?' Sakura said weakly. 'We really are the last two people on the face of the planet..... but that's because of you. It's very sad if you think that you can make me-'
'No,' Eriol corrected quickly. 'I've known since I set out with this mission that, should you fail, the only feelings you'd have for me would be dark ones.' He looked over the black water. It was so strangely dark..... but then, it had nothing in the sky to reflect.
'I have a question.' He said after a pause. 'Do you really think that this is the way I want the world?' He spoke in a detached sort of matter, not letting any of his own emotion into his voice.
Sakura hesitated. What could she say? She had discovered how little she really knew him- the Eriol that transferred to her school, the Eriol that gave her flowers, the Eriol that helped her make her bear for Yukito..... was not this Eriol. This Eriol was fickle and careless..... selfish. Was he the whole time pretending? Or was there really some part of him that was like that?
'I don't understand you Eriol.' She managed to say. 'How could you be nice to me like that for so long... knowing you'd have to do this?'
'That's why I was.' He replied. He turned away from her, not letting her see his face. 'I wanted to be kind... to try and make up for my actions before making them.' His head lowered into his hand. 'I don't like being this way.....'
Sakura looked at him a little strangely. Was this an act too? His demeanor changed rather suddenly.....
'It wasn't my choice..... being a reincarnation, I mean. And if I did have a choice, it certainly wouldn't have been of him..... he's the only reason I do these things. I feel like.....' He started to wander slowly towards the pond. 'It's like I'm two people. You don't have to understand. It is all my doing, either way. It's..... very frustrating. I partly don't want to have done this, but part of me.....'
He stopped. Sakura still looked at him. Maybe there was still something there. Or, from the sounds of it, it was there the whole time, just..... suppressed? Some part untouched by being a reincarnation of the great sorcerer Clow Reed.
Eriol's manner changed again quite suddenly. He chuckled. 'Sometimes I say funny things, don't I? I speak before I think at times, don't mind what I've said. Well, it's your choice in the end. You can sit here all by yourself and fall deeper into the silence here, or you can come with me. I think that some company would be better than none. And if you don't want to now, my offer will still hold for the future.'
He waited, looking at her. She didn't look at him, but she knew he had that smile again.
She shook her head wordlessly, and Eriol simply strode off into the dark, having gotten his answer.
Sakura lowered her head to her knees, and as she did, the blank quiet sky opened up and cried for her. It was gradual, small droplets spattering on the pavement and leaves, not enough to trouble anything, just enough to let Sakura know that there were still some things that had not changed forever. It was reassuring but in a deeply saddening way.
She stood, alone in the rain, and started home.
