Ah confusion, I love it. REVIEW! I know I sound very needy and annoying, but frankly I don't give a smeg, please review! Cheers x.x
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Lister felt so groggy he could have spent a year working in a lingerie shop and not noticed. His face felt smegging awful. And when he tried to lift his hands up to touch the scratch marks he found that he couldn't. It was as if they tied down with thick heavy bonds. But they weren't. A rising panic filled his chest. He tried to speak, but all he could do was move his lips a little. Even then the pain struck him like a sharp slap in the face.

Maybe if he opened his eyes. There was a lot of noise around him, shuffling, shouting. Voices. Rimmer. He could hear Rimmer. He opened his eyes. It was dark. Black. He would have screamed had he had the energy. He couldn't see. His heart welled up with horror and fear. He could just about make out two shapes above him, but they were misty and unfocused.

He couldn't see.

…….

Rimmer peered at the vent opening with a frown. He had to help them. The vent had a grate at the opening. The grate was a square, with gaps just wide enough to fit your fist through.

Rimmer thought.

Wide enough to fit your fist through.

Rimmer thought harder. Then his brain screeched at him,

"God, It's so smegging easy you goit! What's smaller than your fist that can fit through - the only thing that's solid about you."

Rimmer made a face, he had never been good with riddles,

His brain persisted, "The thing that you need to fit through the bars so you can reappear inside the vent?"

Nope, still not a clue,

"You're light bee!"

"That's it!" cried Rimmer; he had finally cottoned on, "I'm coming up there!"

Holly smiled, "And how are you gonna do that?"

"I'll bounce."

"What?"

"I'll bounce my light bee through the grate and reappear on the other side - inside the vent!"

"Ha! I'd like to see you try!"

Rimmer jumped up, hitting his light bee against the grate with a sharp scraping sound that could set your teeth on edge. He had to get the aim right.

Ten minutes later, and he finally got it right. His light bee tumbled through the opening with a soft clink. He appeared, shuffling through the vent with a look of grim determination. Now to help. Help Lister.

…….

"Sir, drag Mister Lister ahead. I'll fight the fish off!"

"I ain't gonna argue with that bud." Cat stopped, "Wait a minute - yes I am! I'm not gonna drag curry breath! He'll ruin my…" he was about to say suit, but didn't. There were 2 reasons: one, his suit was already ripped, and two, the demon Ungotrillian Flopfish was clawing its way forward, its eyes bulging with hatred. Cat took Lister and legged it.

Legged it to the right.

…….

Rimmer knew they were going the wrong way, he could hear them.

He yelled as loud as he could for them to go left. Yelled 'til his voice was sore. And to his relief, they stopped. And instead started shuffling his way, to the right of the vent.

It was about time they got out after all.

Rimmer could see them, Cat and Lister, slowly coming towards him. Lister definitely looked the worst for wear.

He didn't even feel the need to joke about the extremely funny and strategically placed rip in the Cat's trousers. He didn't know Cat had such a peculiar taste in underwear.

His blood ran cold. His gaze fell to Lister - ghost white, except for the deep gashes, clearly visible on his face. They were a dark burning red, in horrific contrast to his pale skin. He was unconscious, and was being pulled along by the frightened cat.

"Lister?"

Cat spun around, at the sound of Rimmer's voice, "Oh - it was you who shouted left! I thought I was imagining your repulsive voice. Thought I was going mad!"

Rimmer looked at Lister with concern and some panic,"What happened to him?"

"What – chipmunk cheeks?"

"Yes."

"This crazy fish got him. Blooming cheek, I was gonna eat it - some people are so selfish!"

They clambered out of the shaft, Lister's body falling to the ground. He woke, opening his eyes sharply.

But he couldn't see them.

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I would like to express my appreciation of reviews. Ahem - "THANKS SO SMEGGING MUCH! I LOVE YA!"
So thanks to:

Sunrise over the Tango factory – don't worry 'bout the review lol, my computer buggers up all the time! Cheers for makin me happy!

Zombie kitty – thanks for the review! The left right thing confused me too, but I thought – hey, what the hell, I'll post it!

Hermione 2000 - aaww! Nice! Thanks. Complication rules. Hope you liked the chappie!

Jellyjam rabbit – Yay! Hehe. Thanks for that, I love hitchhikers! lol