Title: Future Perfect
Name: April
Spoilers: any with Peter in them, takes place after Claire's accident in 'Future Perfect'
I'm in the place I never wanted to be with anyone that I loved ever again. The white sheets, beeping machines, hose and tubes are all-too familiar...I don't want to go through this again. I've gone through it with Mum...I can't lose Claire too. Just like when I was little, I can't prevent it, all I can do is sit here and hold her hand. Now I know what Nick meant when he'd described his accident, all the people running, medics, doctors, nurses, everyone just running. All I can do is just pray that she wakes up again. She's so pale that she almost matches the sheets. This can't be Claire. This small, fragile, helpless woman can't be my sister. She's too still; Claire's never still. Claire's the one that's up at five everyday, even Sundays. She's worked so hard, on Drover's, with the breeding program she's started with Alex. This has to get better...she has to get better. I close my eyes, wanting to think of other things. Our family...where is our family? Meg and Jodi went back to Drover's with Alberto, I haven't seen Becky, she'd probably with Brick...where is Alex? I remember him at the ambulance with us. Oh, yeah. He's taking care of Brave J. Claire's first words were worry for that horse. Of course Alex will want to assure Claire that he's fine. What about Roy? That dog means the world to Claire; Dad gave him to her. I remember. Meg's got him with my alpacas. I wonder what Dad would do now, what he would think. Would he have been able to stop Claire from riding? I sure couldn't.
The beeping only intensifies my train of thought. I'm terrified. Not just for Claire and my niece or nephew, but for me. Mum and Dad are gone...Sally and Liz won Nick. Claire's advice runs through my head again. All she asked me to do was not to hurt Nick. That's exactly what I did...only I got hurt too, like always. I watch a male nurse check Claire and the door opens again.
Alex is here. He looks tired, actually scared and helpless, like I am, like we all are.I look at his sling. If nearly killing Claire, breaking her heart, getting her pregnant, and almost taking Drover's werent bad enough, Peter had to physically hurt Alex. I remember the worry in Claire's voice as she called Alex's name, running to Alex's side, after Peter had 'accidently' run into him with the horse. Then of course, after Nick popped Alex's shoulder back in, Nick and Sally had walked off together. I finally get it. I've lost him. Do I have to lose Claire too?
"She settled in?" Alex finally asks.
I nod. "She lost a lot of blood." I remember it gushing out of Claire...I was so helpless...just like when I saw her on the ground after her accident, just like Alex was in Nick's accident. "Her leg's pretty bad. She'll be in here for months."
"She'll love that." I force a smile for him, already hearing exactly how my sister will react. It doesn't matter though. I'll manage. Meg and Alex will help, I"m sure. The only thing that matters is that Claire's alive, that Peter hasn't killed her.
"What about?" Alex nods his head, but I understand the meaning. It must be hard for him. He never liked Peter, but Claire doesn't usually keep secrets from Alex. What a way to find out, when I told the medics, the same time as Peter. If he'd known she was pregnant, he never would have allowed her to ride, no matter what he had to do. Maybe one of us could have prevented it. Maybe if I'd told Alex about the baby, even if it was behind Claire's back, at least she wouldn't be hurt.
"She's still pregnant." Alex said he was the father. I know that's a lie. No matter how much time they've been spending together, the baby is Peter's. Claire never really had to tell me that. Claire asked him to lie to Peter though, not that I blame her. Peter almost destroyed her; Alex helped bring Claire back to us.
Alex turns to leave when Claire finally speaks. "What did I miss?"
Alex sits down in a chair close to the bed as I reach in my pocket, pulling out the letter. Peter had it in his pocket all that time I was looking in his room. I'd wanted to hit him; I have a feeling Claire would have and have no doubt Alex would have. He was torn between trying to kill Peter and trying to save Claire when I arrived at the accident. "Claire...I got the letter. Look." Claire can barely open her eyes, so I return the letter to my pocket. She knows...she knows we still have Drover's.
I look across the bed and see the look on Alex's face. There's more there than just concern for a mate. The way he stroked Claire's hair while the medics were checking her out, held her hand, the way that he looked at her then and now...how long have I been oblivious to his feelings for her? Does Claire know? Unlike with his other girlfriends since we broke up, I'm not upset, not jealous, I just hope Claire sees it before it's too late, that she doesn't lose him like I lost Nick.
I hold Claire's hand again, to comfort both of us, and the door opens. I never expected to see Nick here, at least not tonight, but why shouldn't he be? Nick and Alex are her best mates. When I first moved back, I thought that she and Nick were interested in each other. Claire's the glue that holds Alex and Nick together while Liz and Harry try to rip them apart.Nick looks at Claire and sits in the chair closest to the door, then looks at me. I don't know what it means, but right now only Claire and the baby matter, getting them well, where they belong. I turn my attention to Claire, who has fallen asleep again. Alex's hand is at her hairline, brushing her hair gently with his fingers again, I'm holdingher hand, and Nick's next to the door. Claire's got all the family she needs; we'll provide the strength for her...all she has to do is come back home.
