A/N- Sorry about the really long wait. I know it was long, but midterms
were not exactly a picnic, and then I was in after-midterm tired mode. Oh
well, at least I survived. Here's the next chapter. R/R because THIS
CHAPTER IS **THE BIG 5-0!!** PARTY TIME!!
"Are you crazy? You want me to *what*?" Draco asked Harry and Ginny incredulously. Ginny smiled at him, hoping that he would agree to their plan. Really, she was sick of arguing with Harry over ways to get Ron and Hermione together (just like Harry was).
But she was trying to be a good sister, and even if Ron couldn't quite see how much he liked Hermione, she could. And Hermione really needed a boyfriend. It wasn't humanly possible to study as much as she did and remain sane.
"Come on, Malfoy," Harry said, almost begging, "all you have to do is tell Ron what a loser coward he is and then just hint a little bit that he might have some competition. It wouldn't be that painful, really."
"Wouldn't be that painful?" Draco repeated in disbelief, "You're asking me to pretend that I might have a little thing for Granger!" Ginny bit her lip. It did seem like a ridiculous request when he put it that way. Malfoy was the last person who would be expected to do that. "Please? This is really important to both of us. And even you have to admit the two of them would make a cute couple," she said.
Draco nodded, considering the thought. He did realize that the two of them would make a good couple. However, if he helped Harry and Ginny hook them up, then he wouldn't get to make fun of the fact that they weren't a couple anymore. But then again, that would enable him to make fun of the fact that they would be a couple. Trying to be evil could be so confusing sometimes.
"Well, alright," Draco said, causing Harry and Ginny to look both happy and very shocked. Then he continued with, "But only if you swear to pay me back. Because you will certainly owe me."
It was spoken like a true Malfoy. But not having much choice, Harry and Ginny agreed, really hoping that whatever Draco had them do as payback, it wouldn't be too awful. "Thank you so much," Ginny said, while Harry remained a little sullen that they had had to turn to Malfoy for help. "Oh don't worry," Malfoy said, a smirk on his face, "It's not a problem at all."
Ginny wasn't the only Weasley getting a bad deal. "But Professor Dumbledore, you have *more* than enough chaperones in the Great Hall. I *know* that just about the entire school is in here, but I mean, I've never taken off duty in my entire school career! Would it be so hard—" Percy tried to reason, begging Professor Dumbledore to let him (and Penny) leave the Great Hall.
"Yes Percy, it would be so hard," Professor Dumbledore cut him off, a twinkle in his eye (the man was always up to something), "I would really appreciate if you and Penny would stay here to keep and eye on things for a little while. I promise, as soon as I feel the room is completely under control, I will let the two of you off duty."
Penny nodded understandingly. The last thing she wanted to do was pick a fight with the Headmaster. It was hard for Percy to agree to this, though. First of all, he thought he was more than entitled to a break after his constant service to the school throughout the year. And second of all, the chances that the Great Hall would ever be under control with Fred, George, and Sirius all in the same room was very unlikely.
"Thank you very much, Percy," Professor Dumbledore said happily, when Percy didn't voice his opinion (which was a first), "I promise, you will not have to remain here indefinitely. Just for a little while."
Accepting his words, Percy and Penny walked off to an area of chairs near the dance floor. "We'll get out of here eventually," Percy promised, more to himself than to Penny. But she appreciated it all the same. It was nice to know that Percy cared. Of course, he always had, but he had finally realized that it helped to show it.
"Hey, do you want to dance?" Penny asked him as a slower song began to play. Percy agreed instantly, and they went out on the floor. Luckily, they were on the other side of the room from where Fred and George were dancing with their dates. If they had been closer to them, they would probably have never heard the end of it.
However, Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia were too involved in their planning to really notice the people around them anyway. "Okay, the plan sounds foolproof to me, which is good because it's going to involve a bunch of fools," Alicia said after Fred had run through it, "I can think of just one problem. Where are we supposed to get something to spike Lupin's drink with?"
"Duh, we can just summon it up from the kitchen," George said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Fred shook his head, laughing. "George, George," he said, feigning disappointment, "As the brains of this operation, I am appalled at the way you obviously did not think before you spoke. Don't you know that if a bottle of rum comes flying through the air, people are going to notice?"
George slapped his head as Fred pointed out the flaw in his plans. But before he could admit that he had been wrong, he realized what else Fred had said. "Hey! Since when are you the brains of the operation?" he asked indignantly. "Yeah, since when?" Alicia asked.
"I was just kidding!" he said, holding up his hands, "Just kidding!" Angelina raised an eyebrow. Fred never said anything unless he at least halfway believed it. "Okay," she said, "If you were just kidding, then what do you think about me being the 'brains of the operation' this time? I mean, it's only fair, right? And if you were just kidding, then it shouldn't really matter, right?"
George and Alicia had to laugh at that. From being Fred's girlfriend, Angelina had picked up a few things. Beating Fred at his own game was one of them. And she had, because Fred really only had one possible answer. "Sure," he said good-naturedly, "Go right ahead." It was really no problem; they though very similarly, and she would do a good job. Besides, Fred always appreciated a good comeback.
"Great then," she said, looking excited, "Let's go down to the kitchens and borrow some rum. Because you were right, Fred, people are definitely going to notice a bottle of rum flying through the air. We'll just have to get it by hand."
They were right in doing that, because most people would have definitely been surprised and a little confused to see rum flying. But not Sirius, over at the refreshment table. It would have been a welcome sight to him. He had already polished off his glass of champagne, and was disappointed that Lupin was sticking to his word by not letting him have another one.
"Sirius, come on. You had your glass of champagne. Why don't we go do something else? I know there are other things to do at the dance besides drink champagne," Remmie reasoned logically. But of course, Sirius had never been big on logic. He tried to do what he wanted when he wanted, and more often than not logic only got in the way.
"But Remmie, champagne is the most *fun* thing to do!" he whined, making Lupin roll his eyes, "Well, on second thought, maybe not the *most* fun, but it's what I want to do right now! How am I supposed to play a kick-ass prank on Lucius if I'm not ready for anything?"
Remmie grit his teeth and tried to think of a sensible answer. It was sometimes really hard to be logical around Sirius. He somehow managed to squeeze all the logic out of everything rational and while making even the craziest things make sense.
"Well I would say you shouldn't play a prank on him at all, but after all his dumb jokes he definitely deserves it. But I still say you don't need any more champagne," he said, pointing out the obvious.
It wasn't that Sirius had a low tolerance for alcohol. Well, maybe it was. Now Lupin was just confusing himself, so he decided to just stop thinking about it. "No, the answer is no, don't you dare ask me again," he said, almost laughing at how ridiculous he sounded.
Sirius looked at the ground, pretending to be very upset. "Aw, come on Remmie, don't be a party pooper. I'm just going to have one more glass. I can definitely handle one more glass," he said definitively. Remmie swore he was having déjà vu.
"Okay, fine. One more. But that's *it,* okay? Promise," he said, giving up and realizing that it was no use arguing. In all situations they had ever been in where they disagreed, Sirius came out on top ninety percent of the time. That helped to explain why he had set the school record for detention.
Sirius knew that well, but that didn't stop him from winning his arguments. "I promise. Thank you, Remmie," he said nicely as he poured himself another glass of champagne. "No problem," Lupin brushed the favor aside. He decided to take the credit now, because he knew Sirius wouldn't be thanking him the next morning.
Unfortunately, not everyone was having quite as good a time as Sirius in the Great Hall. Snape, Ally, Lucius, and Cissa were not exactly having the time of their life after being forced by Dumbledore to stay in the Great Hall as chaperones. Even Percy and Penny didn't have it as bad as they did. Percy wasn't wearing a sheet-toga.
"Lucius," Snape said, trying to disappear into the wall, "would you please do me a favor?" Snape was appalled at himself, but after seeing the looks he got from his students on the walk from the exit back to the farthest corner of the room, he had decided he had no choice but to ask Lucius to remedy the situation.
"Depends on what the favor is," Lucius said, snapping the Too Sexy boxers that he had been clenching in his fist in Snape's face, "Does it have anything to do with your stealing my boxers and then exploiting them in front of the students of Hogwarts?"
Snape, had he had enough color left in him, would have blushed. Instead, he nodded stiffly and looked at the floor. "Would you please summon me some clothes, Lucius?" he mumbled.
"Hmm, let me think about that. You insulted my taste in style. You went through my suitcase. You stole one of my favorite pairs of boxers without permission. You proceeded to show my boxers to most of Hogwarts. You made me look stupid. And THEN, you had the NERVE to insult the boxers that you stole! I'm going to have to say—no. Not a chance, Sev," Lucius drawled.
Snape had expected as much. Lucius wasn't the most traditional best friend. "Oh come on, Lucius! Won't you give him a break?" Ally asked, feeling very bad for Sevvie (and also a little embarrassed at in her own slinky slip). Cissa looked at Ally skeptically. "Come on, Ally, you should enjoy the Toga Man aspect. It's really Sevvie's look," she said, winking at her.
If Sevvie had had his wand, he would have given Cissa a sheet toga of her own to see how she liked it. Of course, if he had had his wand, he wouldn't have been in the situation in the first place. "This is probably Dumbledore's sick, twisted way of getting me back for all the embarrassing things I've done to Gryffindor students. That crazy old man needs to stop eating sherbet lemons," he said, shaking his head.
"Crazy old man?" repeated Dumbledore, sniggering as he coincidentally walking by at exactly the right moment, "You've cut me deep, Severus." Sevvie tried to give him an evil glare, but although he was definitely capable of some seriously angry looks, his evil glare just didn't have the Malfoy power. It didn't get the point across of how annoyed he was that Dumbledore appeared to be trying to ruin his evening.
"Incidentally, Severus," Dumbledore continued almost as if he had read Snape's mind, "I'm not trying to ruin your evening. And this is certainly no sick and twisted idea of mine. It's just that with so many people, I really feel that we should have enough chaperones. Believe me, there are things I'd rather be doing besides staying in the Great Hall, too."
Lucius coughed, and the Headmaster couldn't help noticing that his cough sounded suspiciously like "Professor McGonagall." Laughing, he didn't comment, because he knew that would only spur Lucius to go on. "Just to make it fair on you, Professor Snape, would it make you feel better if I took away the wands of all the people in the school for tonight?" he asked, thinking that it would be the perfect way to cure certain people (like Lucius) of their contemptuous attitudes.
Snape couldn't hide the grin that spread across his face. That was the first good suggestion that he had heard Professor Dumbledore make in a while. "That would make me feel ten times better," he said, adjusting his toga so it was a little bit tighter, "Thank you so much, Headmaster."
"Not at all," Dumbledore said, winking at Snape and Ally before casting the spell, "I'll make an announcement about why I took everyone's wands later. I'm sure most people won't notice for a while anyway. For now, Professor Snape, I'll save you the embarrassment of my telling them."
Halfway across the Great Hall, Ron was still thinking about his jealousy. "Ron, if you're so jealous of everyone else in your family, why don't you do something about it?" Hermione asked wisely. She hated to see Ron think that any of his brothers were even close to as good as he was, but she hesitated to say anything.
She was afraid that if she made any specific suggestions, he might think that she was in love with him. That, of course, would be silly. She liked him, of course, but she was pretty sure it wasn't in that way. He was Ron Weasley, her slightly immature best friend, after all.
"Do what? I can't possibly talk to them about it, and even if I could, I wouldn't! Besides, it wouldn't do any good. They shouldn't have to not have fun just because I don't have a girlfriend," he said, and Hermione was surprised at how much he seemed to mean that. It made her realize that maybe Ron was more mature than she thought.
"Well then why don't you just get a girlfriend?" she asked, in awe that she had just said that. Ron looked at her in surprise. "Oh, that's sensible," he said sarcastically, "You make it sound so easy. I'll have you know it's harder than it sounds."
"Oh really?" Hermione asked, a little annoyed that Ron couldn't just be like other guys and ask out whomever he liked, "Then how come no one else seems to have a problem with it? Harry seems to be doing just fine with Ginny! You seem to be the only one who can't manage!"
Ron's gaze was fixed on the floor all through her little speech. He didn't look up when she was finished. "I'm sorry," she said instantly, realizing that she had come off as a complete jerk, "I'm really sorry, Ron. I didn't mean that; you know I didn't! Ron? Please don't be mad!"
Ron bit his lip. He was really insulted, but he knew that Hermione hadn't meant it the way it had sounded. She was probably upset about something, or tired (since it was fairly late). "Ron, please? Please forgive me?" she asked again in Ron's moment of indecision.
"It's alright," he said, a little sadly, "I know you didn't mean it. But you're right. I do seem to be the only one who can't manage. I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm making everything difficult for myself and for other people too."
Hermione tried to smile, but she felt like crying. Ron was being so nice and mature, and she was being a jerk. "Hermione, maybe you were right about more than me being the only one who can't manage. Maybe I should just get a girlfriend. I just don't think I'd ever have the guts to ask someone out," he pointed out.
"Well you asked me to Hogsmeade, remember? Just ask whoever you like if they'd be your girlfriend," Hermione said, crossing her fingers for good luck behind her back. Suddenly she realized what her crossed fingers meant. "Oh god," she said, "I've been so stupid. I have never been more confused in my life."
Ron looked at her, puzzled, but was too worried about his own problem to wonder what she was thinking. "Alright Hermione, I'll help you with your problem as soon as we're done dealing with mine," he promised, "Now, you're a girl. What would a girl want me to say when I asked her out?"
Hermione closed her eyes, then opened them, fingers still crossed behind her back. "Well," she said, not having to think very hard, "It would make it hard on you to make any sort of long and nerve-racking speech. So I'd just keep it simple."
Ron nodded, taking notes in his head. "Okay, go on," he said encouragingly. "Okay," she continued, almost in a daydream, "Then ask them if you could talk to them for a minute. Take their hand; make it a little romantic. Look into their eyes, and tell them the way you feel about them. Then just ask them to be your girlfriend. And if it goes really well, and if you dare, go in for a kiss."
Ron's eyes widened, but he nodded again. Hermione had never been known to give bad advice before, and he was sure that this wasn't going to be her first time. "Thanks Hermione," he said, really meaning it, "That was really incredible. You know your stuff. Now it's just a matter of me getting up the nerve to do it."
Hermione hoped he would get up the nerve soon, and not for his sake alone. Her fingers were almost losing circulation from her crossing them so tightly. She wanted them uncrossed, whether the result was good or bad.
"Are you crazy? You want me to *what*?" Draco asked Harry and Ginny incredulously. Ginny smiled at him, hoping that he would agree to their plan. Really, she was sick of arguing with Harry over ways to get Ron and Hermione together (just like Harry was).
But she was trying to be a good sister, and even if Ron couldn't quite see how much he liked Hermione, she could. And Hermione really needed a boyfriend. It wasn't humanly possible to study as much as she did and remain sane.
"Come on, Malfoy," Harry said, almost begging, "all you have to do is tell Ron what a loser coward he is and then just hint a little bit that he might have some competition. It wouldn't be that painful, really."
"Wouldn't be that painful?" Draco repeated in disbelief, "You're asking me to pretend that I might have a little thing for Granger!" Ginny bit her lip. It did seem like a ridiculous request when he put it that way. Malfoy was the last person who would be expected to do that. "Please? This is really important to both of us. And even you have to admit the two of them would make a cute couple," she said.
Draco nodded, considering the thought. He did realize that the two of them would make a good couple. However, if he helped Harry and Ginny hook them up, then he wouldn't get to make fun of the fact that they weren't a couple anymore. But then again, that would enable him to make fun of the fact that they would be a couple. Trying to be evil could be so confusing sometimes.
"Well, alright," Draco said, causing Harry and Ginny to look both happy and very shocked. Then he continued with, "But only if you swear to pay me back. Because you will certainly owe me."
It was spoken like a true Malfoy. But not having much choice, Harry and Ginny agreed, really hoping that whatever Draco had them do as payback, it wouldn't be too awful. "Thank you so much," Ginny said, while Harry remained a little sullen that they had had to turn to Malfoy for help. "Oh don't worry," Malfoy said, a smirk on his face, "It's not a problem at all."
Ginny wasn't the only Weasley getting a bad deal. "But Professor Dumbledore, you have *more* than enough chaperones in the Great Hall. I *know* that just about the entire school is in here, but I mean, I've never taken off duty in my entire school career! Would it be so hard—" Percy tried to reason, begging Professor Dumbledore to let him (and Penny) leave the Great Hall.
"Yes Percy, it would be so hard," Professor Dumbledore cut him off, a twinkle in his eye (the man was always up to something), "I would really appreciate if you and Penny would stay here to keep and eye on things for a little while. I promise, as soon as I feel the room is completely under control, I will let the two of you off duty."
Penny nodded understandingly. The last thing she wanted to do was pick a fight with the Headmaster. It was hard for Percy to agree to this, though. First of all, he thought he was more than entitled to a break after his constant service to the school throughout the year. And second of all, the chances that the Great Hall would ever be under control with Fred, George, and Sirius all in the same room was very unlikely.
"Thank you very much, Percy," Professor Dumbledore said happily, when Percy didn't voice his opinion (which was a first), "I promise, you will not have to remain here indefinitely. Just for a little while."
Accepting his words, Percy and Penny walked off to an area of chairs near the dance floor. "We'll get out of here eventually," Percy promised, more to himself than to Penny. But she appreciated it all the same. It was nice to know that Percy cared. Of course, he always had, but he had finally realized that it helped to show it.
"Hey, do you want to dance?" Penny asked him as a slower song began to play. Percy agreed instantly, and they went out on the floor. Luckily, they were on the other side of the room from where Fred and George were dancing with their dates. If they had been closer to them, they would probably have never heard the end of it.
However, Fred, George, Angelina, and Alicia were too involved in their planning to really notice the people around them anyway. "Okay, the plan sounds foolproof to me, which is good because it's going to involve a bunch of fools," Alicia said after Fred had run through it, "I can think of just one problem. Where are we supposed to get something to spike Lupin's drink with?"
"Duh, we can just summon it up from the kitchen," George said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Fred shook his head, laughing. "George, George," he said, feigning disappointment, "As the brains of this operation, I am appalled at the way you obviously did not think before you spoke. Don't you know that if a bottle of rum comes flying through the air, people are going to notice?"
George slapped his head as Fred pointed out the flaw in his plans. But before he could admit that he had been wrong, he realized what else Fred had said. "Hey! Since when are you the brains of the operation?" he asked indignantly. "Yeah, since when?" Alicia asked.
"I was just kidding!" he said, holding up his hands, "Just kidding!" Angelina raised an eyebrow. Fred never said anything unless he at least halfway believed it. "Okay," she said, "If you were just kidding, then what do you think about me being the 'brains of the operation' this time? I mean, it's only fair, right? And if you were just kidding, then it shouldn't really matter, right?"
George and Alicia had to laugh at that. From being Fred's girlfriend, Angelina had picked up a few things. Beating Fred at his own game was one of them. And she had, because Fred really only had one possible answer. "Sure," he said good-naturedly, "Go right ahead." It was really no problem; they though very similarly, and she would do a good job. Besides, Fred always appreciated a good comeback.
"Great then," she said, looking excited, "Let's go down to the kitchens and borrow some rum. Because you were right, Fred, people are definitely going to notice a bottle of rum flying through the air. We'll just have to get it by hand."
They were right in doing that, because most people would have definitely been surprised and a little confused to see rum flying. But not Sirius, over at the refreshment table. It would have been a welcome sight to him. He had already polished off his glass of champagne, and was disappointed that Lupin was sticking to his word by not letting him have another one.
"Sirius, come on. You had your glass of champagne. Why don't we go do something else? I know there are other things to do at the dance besides drink champagne," Remmie reasoned logically. But of course, Sirius had never been big on logic. He tried to do what he wanted when he wanted, and more often than not logic only got in the way.
"But Remmie, champagne is the most *fun* thing to do!" he whined, making Lupin roll his eyes, "Well, on second thought, maybe not the *most* fun, but it's what I want to do right now! How am I supposed to play a kick-ass prank on Lucius if I'm not ready for anything?"
Remmie grit his teeth and tried to think of a sensible answer. It was sometimes really hard to be logical around Sirius. He somehow managed to squeeze all the logic out of everything rational and while making even the craziest things make sense.
"Well I would say you shouldn't play a prank on him at all, but after all his dumb jokes he definitely deserves it. But I still say you don't need any more champagne," he said, pointing out the obvious.
It wasn't that Sirius had a low tolerance for alcohol. Well, maybe it was. Now Lupin was just confusing himself, so he decided to just stop thinking about it. "No, the answer is no, don't you dare ask me again," he said, almost laughing at how ridiculous he sounded.
Sirius looked at the ground, pretending to be very upset. "Aw, come on Remmie, don't be a party pooper. I'm just going to have one more glass. I can definitely handle one more glass," he said definitively. Remmie swore he was having déjà vu.
"Okay, fine. One more. But that's *it,* okay? Promise," he said, giving up and realizing that it was no use arguing. In all situations they had ever been in where they disagreed, Sirius came out on top ninety percent of the time. That helped to explain why he had set the school record for detention.
Sirius knew that well, but that didn't stop him from winning his arguments. "I promise. Thank you, Remmie," he said nicely as he poured himself another glass of champagne. "No problem," Lupin brushed the favor aside. He decided to take the credit now, because he knew Sirius wouldn't be thanking him the next morning.
Unfortunately, not everyone was having quite as good a time as Sirius in the Great Hall. Snape, Ally, Lucius, and Cissa were not exactly having the time of their life after being forced by Dumbledore to stay in the Great Hall as chaperones. Even Percy and Penny didn't have it as bad as they did. Percy wasn't wearing a sheet-toga.
"Lucius," Snape said, trying to disappear into the wall, "would you please do me a favor?" Snape was appalled at himself, but after seeing the looks he got from his students on the walk from the exit back to the farthest corner of the room, he had decided he had no choice but to ask Lucius to remedy the situation.
"Depends on what the favor is," Lucius said, snapping the Too Sexy boxers that he had been clenching in his fist in Snape's face, "Does it have anything to do with your stealing my boxers and then exploiting them in front of the students of Hogwarts?"
Snape, had he had enough color left in him, would have blushed. Instead, he nodded stiffly and looked at the floor. "Would you please summon me some clothes, Lucius?" he mumbled.
"Hmm, let me think about that. You insulted my taste in style. You went through my suitcase. You stole one of my favorite pairs of boxers without permission. You proceeded to show my boxers to most of Hogwarts. You made me look stupid. And THEN, you had the NERVE to insult the boxers that you stole! I'm going to have to say—no. Not a chance, Sev," Lucius drawled.
Snape had expected as much. Lucius wasn't the most traditional best friend. "Oh come on, Lucius! Won't you give him a break?" Ally asked, feeling very bad for Sevvie (and also a little embarrassed at in her own slinky slip). Cissa looked at Ally skeptically. "Come on, Ally, you should enjoy the Toga Man aspect. It's really Sevvie's look," she said, winking at her.
If Sevvie had had his wand, he would have given Cissa a sheet toga of her own to see how she liked it. Of course, if he had had his wand, he wouldn't have been in the situation in the first place. "This is probably Dumbledore's sick, twisted way of getting me back for all the embarrassing things I've done to Gryffindor students. That crazy old man needs to stop eating sherbet lemons," he said, shaking his head.
"Crazy old man?" repeated Dumbledore, sniggering as he coincidentally walking by at exactly the right moment, "You've cut me deep, Severus." Sevvie tried to give him an evil glare, but although he was definitely capable of some seriously angry looks, his evil glare just didn't have the Malfoy power. It didn't get the point across of how annoyed he was that Dumbledore appeared to be trying to ruin his evening.
"Incidentally, Severus," Dumbledore continued almost as if he had read Snape's mind, "I'm not trying to ruin your evening. And this is certainly no sick and twisted idea of mine. It's just that with so many people, I really feel that we should have enough chaperones. Believe me, there are things I'd rather be doing besides staying in the Great Hall, too."
Lucius coughed, and the Headmaster couldn't help noticing that his cough sounded suspiciously like "Professor McGonagall." Laughing, he didn't comment, because he knew that would only spur Lucius to go on. "Just to make it fair on you, Professor Snape, would it make you feel better if I took away the wands of all the people in the school for tonight?" he asked, thinking that it would be the perfect way to cure certain people (like Lucius) of their contemptuous attitudes.
Snape couldn't hide the grin that spread across his face. That was the first good suggestion that he had heard Professor Dumbledore make in a while. "That would make me feel ten times better," he said, adjusting his toga so it was a little bit tighter, "Thank you so much, Headmaster."
"Not at all," Dumbledore said, winking at Snape and Ally before casting the spell, "I'll make an announcement about why I took everyone's wands later. I'm sure most people won't notice for a while anyway. For now, Professor Snape, I'll save you the embarrassment of my telling them."
Halfway across the Great Hall, Ron was still thinking about his jealousy. "Ron, if you're so jealous of everyone else in your family, why don't you do something about it?" Hermione asked wisely. She hated to see Ron think that any of his brothers were even close to as good as he was, but she hesitated to say anything.
She was afraid that if she made any specific suggestions, he might think that she was in love with him. That, of course, would be silly. She liked him, of course, but she was pretty sure it wasn't in that way. He was Ron Weasley, her slightly immature best friend, after all.
"Do what? I can't possibly talk to them about it, and even if I could, I wouldn't! Besides, it wouldn't do any good. They shouldn't have to not have fun just because I don't have a girlfriend," he said, and Hermione was surprised at how much he seemed to mean that. It made her realize that maybe Ron was more mature than she thought.
"Well then why don't you just get a girlfriend?" she asked, in awe that she had just said that. Ron looked at her in surprise. "Oh, that's sensible," he said sarcastically, "You make it sound so easy. I'll have you know it's harder than it sounds."
"Oh really?" Hermione asked, a little annoyed that Ron couldn't just be like other guys and ask out whomever he liked, "Then how come no one else seems to have a problem with it? Harry seems to be doing just fine with Ginny! You seem to be the only one who can't manage!"
Ron's gaze was fixed on the floor all through her little speech. He didn't look up when she was finished. "I'm sorry," she said instantly, realizing that she had come off as a complete jerk, "I'm really sorry, Ron. I didn't mean that; you know I didn't! Ron? Please don't be mad!"
Ron bit his lip. He was really insulted, but he knew that Hermione hadn't meant it the way it had sounded. She was probably upset about something, or tired (since it was fairly late). "Ron, please? Please forgive me?" she asked again in Ron's moment of indecision.
"It's alright," he said, a little sadly, "I know you didn't mean it. But you're right. I do seem to be the only one who can't manage. I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm making everything difficult for myself and for other people too."
Hermione tried to smile, but she felt like crying. Ron was being so nice and mature, and she was being a jerk. "Hermione, maybe you were right about more than me being the only one who can't manage. Maybe I should just get a girlfriend. I just don't think I'd ever have the guts to ask someone out," he pointed out.
"Well you asked me to Hogsmeade, remember? Just ask whoever you like if they'd be your girlfriend," Hermione said, crossing her fingers for good luck behind her back. Suddenly she realized what her crossed fingers meant. "Oh god," she said, "I've been so stupid. I have never been more confused in my life."
Ron looked at her, puzzled, but was too worried about his own problem to wonder what she was thinking. "Alright Hermione, I'll help you with your problem as soon as we're done dealing with mine," he promised, "Now, you're a girl. What would a girl want me to say when I asked her out?"
Hermione closed her eyes, then opened them, fingers still crossed behind her back. "Well," she said, not having to think very hard, "It would make it hard on you to make any sort of long and nerve-racking speech. So I'd just keep it simple."
Ron nodded, taking notes in his head. "Okay, go on," he said encouragingly. "Okay," she continued, almost in a daydream, "Then ask them if you could talk to them for a minute. Take their hand; make it a little romantic. Look into their eyes, and tell them the way you feel about them. Then just ask them to be your girlfriend. And if it goes really well, and if you dare, go in for a kiss."
Ron's eyes widened, but he nodded again. Hermione had never been known to give bad advice before, and he was sure that this wasn't going to be her first time. "Thanks Hermione," he said, really meaning it, "That was really incredible. You know your stuff. Now it's just a matter of me getting up the nerve to do it."
Hermione hoped he would get up the nerve soon, and not for his sake alone. Her fingers were almost losing circulation from her crossing them so tightly. She wanted them uncrossed, whether the result was good or bad.
