Cazflibs – well, you won't have to wonder much longer, coz here's the next chappie dear!

Reddwarfaddict – thank you! I did have a nice break… sorta… and nope (grins) they're not bluffing.

Br1de-of-fr3ddy – I just read your bio page, and was delighted to see you're thinking about putting a red dwarf fanfic up. DO ONE RIGHT NOW! I WANT TO READ IT! Cough… yes, please do! Or I'll hunt you down and make you! …I think it would be fab dear :). Also cheers for reviewing!

Sarah smith – don't worry bout the reviews dear, I'm just glad you like the story! Thanks very much :D and cheers for reviewing the chapters you could! That's really kind

I apologise now for any disturbing things said in this chapter. I also apologise for the random crapness. I make these things up as I go along you know! Can't be asked with all the planning - so if stuff makes no sense whatsoever don't blame me, have a cup of tea x.x

…….

…….

So this was it. This was the way he was finally going to go was it? Dying because of a crappy manic fish that stunk to high heaven, and looked like a rotting space weevil with fins and a toothy grin?

Great.

Cat leaned in again, looking a little confused, "Bud, I don't wanna sound stupid, but this is your plan!"

Lister lifted his gaze to Cat's eyes, after a moment he said: "I'll distract them, you go sneak round the back and squish 'em."

"What?"

"Well it worked when they came in."

"Oh yeah!… What shall I squish 'em with?"

"I dunno, I can't think of everything!"

"Alright bud." Cat gave him a cheery grin, bent low and snuck off. Surprisingly the fish didn't notice; they were too busy looking at a wobbly Lister who was threatening to get his guitar out.

Rimmer was making faces and shaking his head at the space bum.

"So help me, I'll get my guitar out!" Lister shouted, "I know my rights!"

Rimmer was mouthing the words 'god awful' and 'you get that bloody guitar out again and I'll smegging kill you' from behind the fish.

Lister grinned; at least he could annoy Rimmer for one last time.

…….

Once behind the group of fishy fish things, Cat started looking for something to squish them with. This had to be one of the stupidest plans Lister had come up with. And he liked it!

There weren't many things to chuck really… he rustled through some random stuff on the floor… a rubber duck, some baked beans, something the feline wasn't even going to touch (and for a good reason), an empty Toblorone packet, a small tape of Britney spears that some one had smashed into pieces with a bottle of midnight black nail varnish.

He sighed.

There may be a flaw with this plan.

…….

"Maybe we should just put him out of his misery," said a fish out of the corner of his fang-filled mouth.

"Naa," his friend replied, "I think it's quite fun to watch. I haven't laughed this much since we shoved your grandfather's head down the waste disposal unit. You know - that one with all the sharp edges and the disgusting whirring sound?"

The previous fish smiled at the memory, "Ah yes… good times."

"Yeah… did you ever get his dentures out of there?"

"Nope. I told you we should have taken them out of his mouth before we shoved him in. People pay good money for those nowadays."

"Sorry Billy."

"That's all right Bob; I dare say we'll get them out some day. Maybe we could try it with my grandmother next time?"

"We could always tie her to the back wheel of your car again."

"Maybe… it was rather messy last time though. I can't be doing with all that scrubbing."

They quietened; deciding to watch the wobbly human again. He was slowing down quite a bit now.

"And for another… thing…" Lister lifted a hand to his head, the fishy faces swimming before his eyes.

"Oh for tripe's sake! Hurry up and die already!" shouted the chief.

So this was the last thing Lister was ever gong to do. Embarrass himself in front of an audience of killer fish, halfway through a plan that was never going to work because it was decidedly crappy and awful.

He looked the fish in the eye, "I'm not… going to die."

"Oh yes you are!" chorused the fish.

…….

Cat stroked his chin thoughtfully.

Well, well, well. That would do just fine! He picked the object up with that teeth-flashing smile of his that annoyed everyone. This was turning out to be quite an okay day. He looked at the thing he was holding for a while, his annoyingly gorgeous smile widening, and then he swung his arm backward taking careful aim.

I bet your wondering what it was aren't you? Well it was…

Kryten's head. The perfect fish-squishing projectile.

With barely another thought, Cat released his hand, the head hurtling forward towards the fish. The speed was amazing – I mean, boy did he let that head fly!

Without knowing it, Cat had been extremely clever. A very rare moment I think you'll agree.

You see, the fish were… well being fish, they were very wet as you can imagine. And Kryten's head, being Kryten's head was electrical.

So what followed was a rather spectacular display of light and fishy squeals!

It sounded rather like this:

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

"Ouch!" "Arrrggghhhh!" "Ooowwww!" "Help!" "Bob!" "Billy!" "Gurgle!" "Ahhhh!" "Poor me!"

Cat grinned, "Boy am I good!"

…….

…….

Review please! And those who are on holiday review when you get back! Thanks x.x