The T.V. show, Hogan's Heroes, belongs to CBS and was a Bing Crosby Production. No ownership of the Hogan's Heroes characters is implied or inferred, and no infringement is intended.

This story is the result of the Plot Bunny Challenge posted on Smartgroups to take another's "bunny" and write a story. Let's see if you can guess what my bunny is about. I will reveal it at the end of the last chapter.

Chapter One

Just Another Day

Water flowed over the dirt, forming mud as it reached his shoes. The well-worn brown leather offered only a token barrier. He made no attempt to move. Instead, he watched and waited, as the water inched its way over the ground.

"Colonel Hogan." Klink's voice assaulted Hogan from behind. The American Colonel hesitated, preparing for the encounter, and then turned to meet the man wearing the monocle.

"In case you forgot, you do not summon me, I summon you!" The Kommandant, of Stalag 13, stormed up beside his senior POW officer, blinded, in his fury, to the activity taking place at ground level.

"I'll have you…" Klink's words changed abruptly into a surprised, "Aahh!" as his feet hit the slick mud and suddenly shot past his head.

Hogan completed his turn in time to catch the upward spiral of water, but not the Kommandant, as the German officer landed, unceremoniously, on his backside.

"Schultz!" Klink croaked, the wind temporarily knocked out of him.

Sergeant Shultz, momentarily stunned, was frozen in place. As he recovered, he rushed forward to help. "Herr Kommandant, are you all right?"

"Do I look all right? Get me up!" Klink gasped, fuming.

"I see you've discovered our little problem," Hogan chided, wiping the splashed muddy water from his cheek, before going to where his captor lay in the muck.

"Hogan!Klink bellowed. "What's all this water doing here?"

"That's why I sent for…excuse me, asked for you to come. I warned you, when you gave us permission to build our boiler that you didn't give us enough time to reinforce it. Now, it's sprung a leak. And it's all because you didn't trust us to…"

"Trust?" Klink interrupted, as he attempted to pull himself back together. Tugging at his wet muddy coat, he continued, "Colonel Hogan, you know as well as I do what was on your mind last month when you were building this…this…this thing. Your request for more time had nothing to do with the boiler and everything to do with making tools to dig your way out of here!"

Hogan looked down at the water and mud at his feet and thought. It wouldn't hurt to play into Klink's suspicions. It can only help make him feel more invincible and lower his guard.

"It wouldn't have been until after we had reinforced our work…" Hogan paused and looked away, sheepishly, to give Klink time to catch the, intentional, slip of the tongue. Then looking back at Klink he rushed on defensively. "...so that still doesn't change the fact that you, obviously, didn't give us enough time. If you had it wouldn't be leaking now and…"

"Aha! I knew it! Don't think I didn't catch that! You can't out-fox me, Hogan! Now what guarantee do I have that you won't take this opportunity to try and make tools for digging?" Klink's eyes widened as a thought crossed his mind. "How do I know you didn't start this leak on purpose?"

"Kommandant," Hogan shook his head in denial, "I give you my word, we didn't start this leak…" Hogan's hands rested on his hips rebelliously, "…and as I was saying before you interrupted me, if you had allowed us more time last month, when we asked for it, we wouldn't be standing here in this mess now!"

Klink took an accusatory step toward his senior prisoner of war. "Don't take that tone with me, Hogan, or you'll find yourself in the cooler."

Hogan dropped his hands to his side and stared quietly back at Klink.

"That's better!" Klink returned Hogan's stare. "You can't out smart me, Hogan, and I'm not going to stand here soaking wet and…" Klink stopped mid sentence as Hogan rolled back on his heels, crossing his arms in defiance.

Klink made a fist, and swept it through the air in front of Hogan. "You do not tell me anything…I run this camp…and you…" The amusement on the gathering prisoners' faces made Klink stop his sputtering. Taking another step closer and coming face to face with his senior POW, he ordered, "Come to my office!"

Hogan, straightening, took a step back and looked Klink up and down. "Don't you want to change first?"

Klink gaped down at his muddy uniform and added, "In one hour!" Then, spinning on his heels to storm off, began another downward spiral.

"Herr Kommandant!" Shultz cried out, as he moved to save Klink from another spill.

"Harumph.! Klink yanked himself from Schultz's rescuing hands and continued to his quarters.

"Blimey, there's never a camera around when you need it!" Newkirk laughed, stepping next to his commanding officer.

Elbowing Newkirk, Carter chuckled, "I've never seen 'Ole" Klink move so fast."

"Oui, it's a shame he didn't break anything!" Louis added, crossing his arms and scowling.

Hogan smiled while draping his arm off of LeBeau's shoulder, "Now that's what I call a one point landing!"

"He's not likely to give us what we want now. I mean now that he's made a fool of himself in front of us!" Newkirk, taking a drag off of his cigarette, looked off in Klink's direction.

"Oh, he'll come around," Hogan assured, patting Newkirk on the back. "Remember, the whole reason he gave us permission to build this water heater was to bribe us to keep quiet about his old war buddy, Major Kronman, and that little incident with the hotel safe, we helped him with." 1

"Colonel," Kinch called, as he approached the laughing group holding a piece of paper in his hand. "Message from London, sir." He looked around questioningly, "What's everyone laughing at?"

"You had to be here, Kinch. Klink just took a ruddy dive!" Newkirk answered.

"Yeah, in the mud!" Carter added, still laughing.

Louis nodded and smiled as his eyes drifted over to Hogan. The blank stare on Hogan's face worried him. "What's wrong, Colonel?"

"It looks like London has a job for us." Hogan frowned, looking up and scanning the group in front of him, before glancing back down at the orders in his hands

"What is it this time…a train, or another munitions dump?" LeBeau asked.

"Neither…I mean…I don't know. It just says they'll give us the coordinates for our rendezvous and our instructions tonight." Hogan pushed his hat back on his head and tried to read between the lines.

"Sorry Colonel," Kinch apologized. "London was firm about not telling us more."

"There's nothing you could have done, Kinch. We'll just have to wait and find out tonight." Hogan looked down at the water soaked ground and turned his and his men's attention back to the problem flowing around them. "Okay, let's get that holding tank loose. I think the water has just about all drained out now."

Newkirk fussed as he tossed the butt of his cigarette into the mud, "I don't know what good that's going to do if Klink won't let us fix it!"

"I'll handle Klink, just get that tank loose." Hogan held a wrench out to Newkirk.

Newkirk took the wrench with a sweep of his hand as Kinch looked at the depression in the mud and griped, "Man—I wish I had seen that!"

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One hour later in Klink's office:

"That shouldn't be a problem. Since, you don't trust us, you can just have some of your guards fix it. It shouldn't take…" Hogan nonchalantly waved his hand, while he considered a time frame.

Klink interrupted him—loudly. "My guards aren't going to fix it! You blackmailed me into allowing you to build the thing. It's your boiler! I already gave you more than I should have when I let you use the metal from that crashed plane to build it! All the metal in Germany is to be used for the war effort, my granting its use to POWs borders on treason" If it wasn't for General Burkhalter himself telling me, when he placed you in my care, to grant you a few concessions to keep you contented, I may have thought twice before I allowed it. As it is, though, it does serve my purpose as well. Klink reasoned, as he stared at his prisoner. His mind was racing as he sought to justify his actions. What's wrong with my using the General's orders to my advantage, too?

"You don't seem too concerned about me telling General Burkhalter how we helped you get that list of names out of the hotel safe in town," Hogan stated.

"That is all in the past and forgotten. Anyway, why would he believe you?" Klink asked, not sure that he wanted to hear the answer.

"I still have a copy of that list," Hogan answered.

"A copy means nothing," Klink said, hesitantly.

"Are you really willing to take that chance? You have it pretty nice here, Kommandant. Soft bed to sleep in, wine with your meals…it sure beats a cold cockpit with bullets flying around you!"

"Okay—you can keep it, but you operate it, and you fix it! And without any escape attempts. Or…" Klink paused dramatically.

"Or what?" Hogan questioned, as he took his cap off and dropped it in his lap.

"Or, we can go back to being a normal prison camp. I'll take my chances with Burkhalter, turn that metal contraption you've made over to the war effort, and you and your men can go back to taking cold showers! You have as much to lose as I do." Klink glared at Hogan, who sat unmoving with his arms folded across his chest, staring at the wall behind the desk. Hogan's sullen look encouraged Klink and he continued to needle him, "I would think the thought of cold showers would motivate you."

Hogan's lack of a quick retort to the cold shower statement encouraged Klink, and he raised the ante. "I'll even forgo the exercise period while you're fixing it."

Hogan, slidding his eyes from the wall, looked back at Klink and answered sarcastically, "You're all heart." Straightening and shrugging his shoulders he appeared to give in, "Oh, all right! We'll fix it."

"I thought you'd see it my way. After all, what else do you and your men have to do? "

Klink answered, smugly.

"You mean besides completing our escape tunnel?" Hogan harassed.

Klink leaned across the desk, "You have no escape tunnel, Colonel Hogan! I would know if you did. My guards inspect the barracks everyday."

Hogan glanced away as if caught in a lie, giving Klink a false sense of security that he was right. Then, sighing in defeat, he uncrossed his arms saying, "We'll need access to the maintenance hut."

"Granted," Klink answered as he gloated.

"And, we'll have to have access to the welding equipment," Hogan continued.

Klink paused while tapping his pencil on his desk and then nodded, "Granted…under guard," he added with a scrutinizing look.

"Of course…we wouldn't have it any other way!" Hogan answered flippantly. "Just keep Schultz away. He won't let us breathe without an explanation and I'd like to get this done as soon as possible."

"What's the matter, Colonel Hogan? Getting soft? Afraid of a little cold water?"

Klink taunted.

This last remark irritated Hogan, and he felt the rush of anger warming his skin. The reality of their existence made itself felt and lowering his guard he told Klink the truth. "It's something to look forward to. My men are not criminals, they're prisoners of war, and they have very little to keep them going. A warm shower isn't much, but at least it's something."

Hogan's answer was a humbling statement for both men. Klink's show of power faded as he was made to see life through his prisoners' eyes. He stopped goading Hogan, but he would not stop asserting his authority; he still had a prison camp to run.

"Sergeant Schultz is just doing his job. And evidently he is doing it very well. He will be in charge of the work detail."

"Yeah, he does it well all right. He won't take his eyes off of us," Hogan answered, stepping back into the game and intentionally justifying Klink's decision.

"Colonel Hogan that is exactly what I wanted to hear. I'll let Schultz know he can take you to the maintenance hut when you're ready to start. Dissmisssseed!" Klink dropped his pencil and began sorting through the papers on his desk.

"Swell, just so you know it's going to take us twice as long with him guarding us."

Klink looked at Hogan, puzzled. "Why should it take twice as long?"

"He makes us stop for lunch." Now it was Hogan leaning across the desk.

"So? Thirty minutes shouldn't slow you down that much."

"Thirty minutes? Ha! More like two hours! It's his lunch we stop for!" Hogan stood, plopped his cap on his head, adjusted his jacket, and started for the door. Grabbing the door handle he turned to face Klink as the Kommandant rose to his feet and stomped his foot, growling.

"Impudence! My men do not take two hours for lunch."

Hogan relented, "No, you're right--it's all those ten minute breaks that add up!" Hogan quickly saluted and stepped out of the office, closing the door behind him and strategically getting in the last word.

Klink flushed with barely controlled anger, shook his head, and mumbling looked down at his desk. Incorrigible… Klink thought, as he searched through his papers. Where did that pencil go? I just had it right before…

Hogan was smiling before his hand slipped off of the doorknob. He had done it again. Not only did he get access to the maintenance hut, but he also got Schultz as their guard.

Klink slammed his fist down on his desk, scattering papers, as he realized what had happened to his pencil. "Hogaaan!"

Hearing his name bellowed, Hogan quickly picked up his pace, while giving a pat over the left inside pocket of his bomber jacket where a certain borrowed pencil now rested. He was still smiling when he entered Barrack Two.

Kinch looked up from his card came as Hogan came in and knew right away, from the glint in his superior officer's eyes, that the meeting had gone well.

"Okay, we've been ordered to fix our own boiler," Hogan announced.

"You sure can handle Klink," Carter praised. "What now, Colonel?"

"Now we fix our boiler, Carter!" Hogan answered." And have some fun placing a little discomfort back on our hosts."

Carter smiled as Newkirk added, "Right! After all, Carter, it's our duty to harass the enemy."

"Oui, every chance we get!" Louis agreed, eagerly.

"Colonel, I'm glad you're on our side!" Kinch laughed.

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"Here it comes Colonel." Kinch began scribbling the incoming coordinates down.

"Tell me again why we can't know the location of this meeting before we go?" Newkirk asked in a raised voice.

Hogan impaled Newkirk with a stare.

"…sir!" Newkirk quickly added, slapping the black knit cap onto his head and diverting his frustration and eyes away from his commanding officer.

Carter watched Hogan take in a settling breath. He had seen the Colonel do this before when he was stressed. It was a warning to tread softly. "The Colonel's already told us; its top secret!" Carter answered, hoping to save Newkirk a tongue-lashing.

This time, Newkirk addressed his question to Carter. "Everything we do is top secret, Andrew, why is this rendezvous any different?"

Hogan, dressed in black and anxious to get this mission underway, held up his hand for silence as he studied his radio operator's face.

Kinch, quickly working to decipher the code, took a last look at his work, and handed Hogan the clipboard. Hogan read it, looked at his watch, and then his men.

"We don't have much time. I can't tell you where we're going," Hogan stated looking directly at Newkirk. "Orders are: the fewer who know our destination the better."

"That doesn't sound good," Newkirk said with a frown.

"Oui, what kind of orders are those?" LeBeau questioned.

"Our orders!" Hogan answered, ending any further discussion. "Kinch, if anything happens to me, you'll take charge." Looking at Newkirk, LeBeau and Carter, he asked, "Is that clear?"

"What do you mean if anything happens to you?" Louis asked

"Yeah, Colonel, what gives?" Carter, too, was beginning to wonder what it was London didn't want them to know.

"I'm to go in alone to the meeting." Hogan began walking down the tunnel toward the exit into the woods. "When we get there, fan out and cover the area. I'll go in, make contact, get the information, and get out." Hogan, reaching the ladder leading to the tree stump and the woods beyond, turned and looked at his men before he once more led them to risk their lives. "Stay sharp. If we get separated, head back to camp and don't look back."

"Blimey, gov'nor, is that it? That's all we get to know? What are we picking up?"

"I don't even know that, Newkirk." Hogan answered. Checking his gun he nestled it behind his belt over his left hip. "But whatever it is, the carrier must be being pursued if London's afraid we may be captured and spill something." Hogan grabbed the ladder, "I'll go first, then LeBeau, Carter, Newkirk and Kinch. Good luck, men." Hogan turned and started up the ladder.

"And good luck to you, too, sir!" Newkirk answered back and then turning his head finished with, "In whatever it is we're doing!"

LeBeau elbowed Newkirk playfully, as he stepped passed him to the ladder, "Don't worry, 'grandma,' I'll protect you."

Newkirk gave LeBeau a disgusted shake of his head. "When I get back to London I'm going to give them a piece of my mind…if I ever get back, that is." Newkirk gave Carter an encouraging push toward the ladder. "Come on, Andrew, you're holding up the line."

Carter smiled. Newkirk's familiar banter, crazily enough, put him at ease, and he actually felt relatively calm heading out into the night.

Hogan, clearing the tree stump, ducked behind a bush to keep an eye on the guards patrolling the wire. Their silhouettes were outlined against the searchlights as the light swept the compound. It was a dark night. No moon showed. It was the kind of night pilots preferred. There was minimal light to silhouette a plane, making it less of a target for the Ack, Ack guns. That is until the searchlights find you! Hogan thought, and then smiled to himself. I just can't seem to stop dodging searchlights!

Hogan led his men wordlessly through the forest, stopping only once to lie low while a small troop of German soldiers patrolling the woods passed by. Lying on their bellies in the shadows, hardly breathing, they counted the time in seconds.

Newkirk felt his hand pulse with every beat of his heart, as he held tightly onto his gun. Should the need arise he would be ready. He was already uneasy with this assignment and pumped with adrenalin. He had no doubt he could take out the whole German patrol by himself, if they were discovered. Fortunately, he was not put to the test and the Colonel soon gave the order to move on.

Arriving at the small railroad shack, LeBeau looked at his watch. Forty minutes? Is that all? It seemed like they had been walking into the unknown for hours. And every shadow was the enemy, armed with guns—made of twigs and branches.

Pulling his pistol out, Hogan motioned for his men to fan out, before he silently approached a window and peered in.

Kinch shuddered in the cold, as he watched Hogan edge around to the door and slip inside. The Sergeant looked quickly around at the dark forest, and then back at the shack, concentrating his efforts on listening for sounds of a struggle, words or gunshots coming from inside. The blade of a knife will leave no sound. Kinch thought. He quickly rushed that thought out of his head, while at the same time wishing he could see through walls. Another look around him and he edged a little closer to the building, hoping he would be able to hear if a body dropped to the floor. But the creaking of the trees swaying in the gusting wind was making that impossible.

HH

1 "The Safecracker Suite" Episode 27

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