Oh dear me. I haven't updated for a while have I? Sorry. I got caught up in reading other people's fics and I forgot about my own! Here's the next chapter dears, hope you like it :) if you don't feel free to tell me and I'll try to improve… or I'll get annoyed and chuck stuff around or whatever lol :D
Naa I'm only kidding…
Not!
Naa I mean it. ;) say what you want x.x

To reviewers:
Sunrise – hehe cheers! Nice map btw dear ;) can't wait for your next chappie
Br1de-of-fr3ddy –ah yes, go Cat! And yay for the story! Put it up! Put it up! Put it up!
Hermione 2000 – thanks:D Hope this one is to your liking
ZK – lol! And don't shower in liquid oxygen dear, there would be no one to write your fics! Then what would I do?
SenatorSolo – good luck with the homework! And I'm updating finally!

…….

…….

I'm glad to say, that the blast from Kryten's head killed nearly all of those evil fish. Yay! And… not so yay!

I said nearly… one of them was still alive.

Thank god one of them was still alive. You see, Lister had fallen into that deep unconsciousness that comes just before death in the clutches of that evil fishy poison. The only knowledge that could save him now was lodged inside that squishy brain of the last living Ungotrillian Flopfish aboard red dwarf. Oh dear me.

Kryten's head seemed to be instantly alert after the burst of electricity, "Sirs? Sirs! I demand that you find my body immediately, Mr Lister needs our help!"

"I'll help later buddy! These fish are gorgeous when they're deep fried!"

"Kryten, I can see your body!" Came Rimmer's voice, floating over the smoke and fizzing fish fins. "It's to the left!"

Kryten wobbled, "Your left or my left sir?"

Oh god not again! "To your left!"

"Thank you sir!"

A couple of minutes of blind fastening and twisting and muffled yells of: "I'm over here! On the left! No, your left!" from Kryten's head, and the mechanoid's body managed to screw his head back on without too many blunders. Kryten was finally well again. The same could not be said of Lister, who lay face down where he had fallen.

"Oh sir…"

…….

Meanwhile, the last surviving fish was waddling away with a grin plastered on its floppy features.

So his entire family were dead. No biggie. He was alive, and he didn't really see the point of hanging around much longer. Even though he loved revenge, revenge on a cat for killing his ancestors didn't seem so appealing. Especially when he was greatly outnumbered and alone.

He thought he was free, and as he flopped over towards the crumpled doorway, his grin got wider and wider.

Sigh. I almost feel sorry for him.

Then he heard something behind him.

He stopped suddenly, turning around in a flash. He was greeted by a grin that wasn't quite human. Something about those teeth. Catlike.

"I'm gonna eat you little fishy!"

…….

"Don't worry Mr Lister sir!" Kryten carried on with a few hefty sobs, despite the fact that Lister could hear smeg all of what he was saying, "Holly says there's still one more fish aboard red dwarf! If we can find it then we can get the antidote!"

Rimmer wrung his hands with worry, he was huddled on the floor, desperately trying not to look at the quiet form of Lister next to him, "one fish?" he said, "One? It's going to get away! How the smeg are we going to find that little bugger in the whole of red dwarf!"

Rimmer fought the tears welling in his eyes. "God I hate everyone right now."

Then came the glorious sound of Cat's voice, wafting on the breeze. Instead of feeling that weary sensation of pure annoyingness that he usually did at hearing Cat, this time all he felt was a cold hand grasping his heart.

"Stay still little fishy! I'm not gonna hurt you bud, I'm just gonna eat you!"

Rimmer sprang to his feet. The last fish! The only thing left that could save Lister!

And Cat was going to have it for a snack!

"CAT! NOOO!"

…….

Cat didn't hear Rimmer's feeble attempt at a yell. He grinned that flashy grin of his and scoffed the last fish into his mouth in a second.

Now he could hear Rimmer's voice, but his mouth was full so he couldn't answer back. He rolled his eyes, what was goalpost head on about now? He turned around to see Rimmer, with a look of pure anger, astonishment and fear on his face.

"CAT SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW!"

Cat just looked at him, he would have said: 'no way bud! Do you know how gross that would be? I have a reputation to keep up you know!' if his mouth wasn't so full of fish.

So instead he shook his head vigorously, feeling the fish banging his fists against the walls of his mouth.

"SPIT IT OUT!"

Cat had never seen Rimmer look so angry in his life. And he'd seen the hologram pretty angry before now. It was hard not to have - Rimmer and Lister were constantly arguing, and it didn't help when the Cat butted in with comments like 'how am I supposed to sleep when goalpost head's cracking my dream mirrors with his old-lady-with-a-throat-infection-and-bad-dentures voice!' and 'you make me wish I was dead, just so I wouldn't have to look at you anymore!'

His memories were rudely shattered by that 'old-lady-with-a-throat-infection-and-bad-dentures voice' that was Rimmer's:

"CAT-IF-YOU-DON'T-SPIT-THAT-FISH-OUT-RIGHT-NOW-I'LL-RIP-UP-ALL-YOUR-SUITS-AND-THROW-YOUR-HAIR-AND-BEAUTY-PRODUCTS-DOWN-THE-GARBAGE-SHUTE!"

That did it.

Cat gave Rimmer a look that clearly said: 'can you give me some privacy?' Rimmer averted his eyes with a scowl, and Cat spat the fish out. He sighed. Oh well, it wasn't as if they tasted that great anyway.

…….

…….

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