Camp Pretty Hill Part One

Notes: OK. This is a sequel to The Drinking Trivia Game, but you don't necessarily have to read Drinking Trivia to understand it. Oh no. Lots of stupid humour. Basically Team Rocket get stuck in a kiddy camp whilst looking for the twerps with no means of escape. Includes Jessie, James, Meowth, Butch and Cassidy, with appearances from Giovanni and Domino, possibly other characters as well. Who knows? Who knows?

Please review when you're done! It infuriates me to see a bucket of hits and a dripping of reviews…it'll only take a minute and it'll make me giggle!

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Today, Team Rocket are going to Camp Pretty Hill.

Do you know how to swear in fourteen different languages?

Cassidy does.

Clever Cassidy.

"I can't believe we got stuck with you two IMBECILES!" yelled Cassidy as they crossed the rickety bridge to the camp.

"Is it murder if she accidentally falls off the bridge because I push her?" snarled Jessie.

"Technically," replied Butch, who couldn't actually see her on account of Cassidy's large and horrible hair being in the way.

"Me and Butch tried ta find a loophole once and got locked up," said Meowth glumly.

"Why do I seem to spend half my life behind bars or getting drunk at them?" moaned Butch. James, who was at the head of the line, stepped neatly off the bridge and tripped over a tree root, exposing his suspiciously hair free legs.

"James, have you been using my epilator again?" demanded Jessie. Meowth groaned as James flushed an intriguing shade of red.

"It's dis sort of ting dat'll cost me thousands in therapy," he said as he stepped on James's head. Finally, they were all over the bridge and walking down the yellow brick road that led to Camp Pretty Hill. James happily took Jessie's hand, even though he actually took hold of Butch's. He didn't notice this however, and began skipping with 'Jessie', singing 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road'. Meowth also threw back his head to sing: 'Goodbye Yellow Brick Road'.

"When we get back to HQ, remind me to confiscate your Elton John CDs," said Jessie, sighing.

They arrived at the camp.

"Excuse me, but have you seen three children and a Pikachu around here?" Cassidy asked the woman at reception.

"Let me check my computer," said the woman in a gruff voice. Under closer inspection, Cassidy noted that she may have once been a man. She had a slight moustache and her name tag clearly read 'Brian'. "They checked out last week."

"This is all your fault!" screamed Cassidy at Butch, who looked very insulted.

"I'm not the one in charge of this mission, OK!" he pointed out.

"Well, who is? Come on, own up! I need someone to blame!" said Cassidy, hands on hips. James rummaged in his pocket and pulled out a slip of paper.

"Lickitung," he read.

"I always hated that Pokemon," said Jessie. "Well, we can't get a return coach for at least another hour, so we might as well look around." She rapped on the reception desk to get Brian's attention. "Excuse me, can I have a camp directory?"

"Hi, I'm Super Happy Sindy!" said a blonde woman in a yellow outfit with a matching sunflower hat.

"And I'm Super Happy Sammy!" said her male companion, who was sadly also sporting the same yellow miniskirt as his partner.

"We're your tour guides!" they said, posing.

"Kill me now," begged Meowth.

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So, guided by the Super Happy Sindy and Sammy, our heroes began to explore the camp, which was very large and green, with many pretty looking stalls and games. It was filled with happy looking children and lots of pink ponies. Flowers grew on the grassy hillside and there were speakers, cleverly concealed, that played authentic bird noises.

Outside the camp boundaries there were a lot of ugly, dangerous looking mountains.

"How can something so pretty survive amongst something so ugly?" wondered James.

"The same way I do," said Cassidy. Jessie, James and Meowth burst into laughter. Butch would have done the same, but Super Happy Sindy had given him a cool glass of milk, and due to his lactose intolerance, his throat was partially closed.

"Dis camp is entirely too pretty and hilly for my taste," said Meowth firmly.

"Well I don't think it's so pretty," said James crossly. "I mean, look at that stall! Red and green should never be seen! It's completely vomitrocious."

"You've been watching too much American TV James," said Jessie.

"What is that stall anyway?" asked Cassidy. "It looks like an old woman sat behind a table."

"It is!" cried Super Happy Sammy. "Well done Cassidy! You can have a sticker!"

"Yippee," drawled Cassidy as Super Happy Sammy got out a smiley face sticker and attempted to stick it to her chest. "Hey! Watch it pal! Only three people are allowed to feel me up, and you're not one of them!"

"Butch, Giovanni…" Meowth counted on his fingers. "And…Jessie?"

"We're not lesbians!" screamed Cassidy and Jessie.

"That's the lady who says something nice about everyone!" announced Super Happy Sindy. "Would you like to go and talk to her?"

"Yay!" said James, dashing over. The rest of the group followed him, in case he got lost or kidnapped. It happened quite a lot. They joined the queue of happy children and their parents who were waiting to see the Nice Lady.

"Check out the guy in the orange suit and his blonde teenage love slave," said Butch, his throat clear again as he pointed. A man was attempting to shoot at a target with a rubber sucker thingy to win a stuffed toy for the blonde next to him. He managed to shoot the stuffed toy.

"Try again!" demanded the girl. She fluttered her eyelashes. "Mr Snuggles and Freddy the Teddy get so lonely, they need that cuddly Raichu. I'll call him Zappy…Get him for me Gio, NOW!" Giovanni slapped down another twenty and took aim.

Butch was now at the front of the queue. The Nice Lady smiled up at him. She was wearing a lot of jewellery and a head scarf with bumblebees on it.

"What's your name, young man?" she asked with a crinkly smile.

"Uh, Butch," said Butch awkwardly as the Nice Lady took his hand and studied it.

"Ah yes, Butch," she said, looking at his palm. "Butch dear, you have a wonderful personality. Don't be afraid to show people the real you. Next!"

"James," said James, giving her his hand.

"You have the sensitive soul of a poet!" marvelled the Nice Lady. "You will draw your friends closer to you." James went off, trying to compose a poem in his head about the wonders of green.

"What is green?" he muttered to a oversized fake caterpillar. "Green is happiness, the smell of fresh air, a green, green frog…or perhaps a pear?"

"I'm Jessie," announced Jessie, thrusting her hand at the Nice Lady.

"Jessie dear, you have courage beyond your years. Protect those you love," said the Nice Lady encouragingly. "But don't scorn them."

"OK…I'll give it a shot," said Jessie thoughtfully.

It was Cassidy's turn.

"Cassidy," she said. The Nice Lady didn't take her hand, only looked at her sadly.

"Don't worry dear," she said. "Your hair doesn't look that bad."

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Well, hoped you enjoyed this first instalment of many…it will be longer than Drinking Trivia. Huzzah!

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