Camp Pretty Hill Part Two
Notes: Well, I got a very positive response and I'm really really happy! Thanks guys! Let the stupidity commence!
Tear22: Ah, my lovely Tear…well, here we are again! Yes, her hair is atrocious (or vomitrocious). Cuss is such a lovely word…it's so American! Women-men are very funny…if your story needs a lift, throw in a tranny! But remember, dearest Tear, it is not comedic genius that led us here, but comedic value.
Stacey: I can't help but continue! I love writing humour and if I'm making people laugh, then it's a job well done for Eevee! Thanks for your support.
Banshee: Yes, Christmas comes early when Eevee writes humour. By the way, I'm giving you a medal for all your wonderful reviews: you rock my socks and I don't care who knows it! So put on your bio: I have won Eevee's Extra Special Wensleydale Cheese of Appreciation for Reviews Award! Then try and say it really fast…see, even my awards have comedic value. Yes, I made it up. Aren't I the absolute biz? And a biz that is most definitely a girl, thank you very much.
nous reunirons encore: Hello there! A newcomer! And I see your bio is written in French…well then, here goes… Merci de votre revue aimable. Il est merveilleux que les gens d'autres pays apprécient mon écriture. J'adore la France! Aren't I smart? I know how to use an Internet Translator! (big smiles)
vicviper-pilot-S213: I'm a shocking writer, I know…but you liked it? Then stick around my friend!
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"This is the giant ball pit of happiness!" announced Super Happy Sindy as they arrived at, you guessed it, a ball pit. But not just any ball pit. A ball pit guarded by freakishly huge pink and yellow bunnies.
"J-Jessie?" whimpered James. "Why are there…bunnies?"
"Maybe it adds to the happiness factor?" suggested Cassidy.
"I don't like…bunnies…" whispered James, his eyes going wobbly. Jessie sighed. A scornful 'loser' was on the tip of her tongue when she remembered what the Nice Lady had said.
"Don't worry James, I'll protect you," she said dully. James's eyes lit up.
"Really?" he said, clutching her arm. "Will you come on the slide of joy with me too?"
"Don't push your luck, pal," growled Jessie. "Have you guys seen enough? We should leave now if we want to catch the bus home."
"Can't we try out da bouncy castle of absolute fun first?" pleaded Meowth.
"I'm sorry kitty, only humans can go on the bouncy castle of absolute fun," said Super Happy Sammy.
"Your sharp kitty claws might hurt it!" explained Super Happy Sindy. Meowth scowled.
"You ever tried acupuncture?" he asked, his claws gleaming as he advanced on their super happy tour guides.
"It's time to go," said Butch firmly, grabbing him by the scruff of his neck. They turned around to find a wall of menacing looking bunnies blocking their path.
"This is not good," muttered Jessie and James hid behind her legs.
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The Nice Lady looked up to see a large man in an orange suit.
"Hello there young man, what's your name?" she asked pleasantly.
"Giovanni," said the guy in a strangely distorted voice. He gave her his hand expectantly.
"Giovanni, you have a heart of gold," said the Nice Lady, smiling. Giovanni looked alarmed.
"Shush, not so loud," he hissed.
"Stop concealing it dear," she said. He wrenched his hand away and stormed off.
"You can call me Domino, although some know me as 009," said a haughty looking blonde. "But I prefer to keep my true identity a secret." The Nice Lady looked quite afraid.
"I'm sorry dear…" she said, at a loss as to what to say to this obviously purely evil girl. "We're…closed."
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"Charge!" yelled Butch as the gang of Rocket stormed forwards, knocking their way through the line of bunnies.
"Evidently people stay here for a lot longer than a holiday," said Jessie as they tried to find the exit.
"Maybe they turn into those frightful bunnies!" squealed James.
"We need to go faster," said Jessie, looking around for a blissfully happy go kart, or maybe a fun filled trolley. She saw only the pink ponies grazing quietly. "OK, how come there are regular ponies in the Pokemon world?"
"Dey should be Ponyta," agreed Meowth.
"I think the author's taking risks again," said Butch grimly as he vaulted over the paddock wall. "Let's go," he commanded as he leapt onto a pony. It turned it's head and gazed at him blankly.
"I think those ponies are broken Butch," said Cassidy. "Let's just run. The exit's over there and the bunnies are catching up." She pointed behind her. Sure enough, there was a line of furious bouncing bunnies, hotly pursued by Super Happy Sindy and Super Happy Sammy. Super Happy Sammy had laddered his tights.
They dashed for the exit, waving goodbye to Brian as they passed. Soon they found themselves once more at the rickety bridge.
"Wait, I have an idea!" said James, pulling the others behind a large rock. Soon the bunnies came pounding past, piling onto the bridge. It gave an ominous creak. Super Happy Sindy and Super Happy Sammy also ran onto the bridge, which decided to collapse. They heard various crunching noises and bunny screaming as the soft furry things and demented tour guides plummeted into the canyon, never to be seen again.
"Huzzah!" cried Butch.
"Oh great plan James!" fumed Cassidy. "Now how are we meant to cross that massively huge ominous canyon?"
"I'm stupid," said James.
"Who's fault was this!" screamed Jessie. James fumbled in his pocket and got out a piece of paper.
"Lickitung," he read.
"I hate that Pokemon," muttered Jessie.
"Well, it's getting dark and we've definitely missed the bus," said Butch. "Why don't we set up camp?"
"Oh, because that's not horrifically clichéd," drawled Cassidy. "While you're at it, why don't we play Truth or Dare as well? Then get drunk and wake up married to each other."
"That could work," said Butch, sneaking a look at James.
"I have no qualms about that plan," agreed Jessie, sneaking a look at Cassidy. Cassidy and James glanced at each other.
"Am I da only one here who isn't in some perverted love triangle?" wondered Meowth.
"I wouldn't count on it, Sexy Rita," murmured Butch. Meowth decided the best escape was to do something drastic. He got a large rock and knocked himself out. As you do.
The others gazed blankly at him for a while, then started to make a fire.
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"Kum-by-ya my Lord, kum-by-ya!" sang James, horrendously off-key as he strummed an acoustic guitar that had conveniently dropped from the sky a few minutes earlier. "Oh Lo-ord kum-by-ya!"
"Cassidy, why can't I get a boyfriend?" asked Jessie. "I mean, goodness only knows why I'm asking you for advice, but you seem the slutty type. The kind of girl who's had lots of boyfriends."
"Maybe you need to branch out," suggested Cassidy. "Try something new."
"You mean…women?" asked Jessie slowly. Cassidy looked at her.
"No…do you mean women?" she asked.
"No…" said Jessie.
"Good…" said Cassidy. "Neither…do…I…"
"How come we got stuck with gay partners?" asked Butch. James shrugged.
"Works for me," he replied. "If me and Jessie are both gay, we've got just as good a chance of getting together and making wild passionate…" James checked the rating for the story. "…brownies as if we were both straight."
"I'm not sure that's how it works pal," said Butch slowly. James looked blankly at him.
"What do you mean?" he asked. Butch avoided this long and tedious explanation however by having a long, cool drink of milk. He smiled at James then collapsed onto the ground, where he lay twitching happily in the knowledge that he didn't have to give James 'the talk'.
"Bind us together Lord, bind us together, with cords that cannot be broken," sang James. The author tutted. This was supposed to be a strictly secular piece of fanfiction. James apologised and instead sang a jingle off the radio about cheese that comes in a tube.
"Right, we need to do something," said Cassidy firmly.
"You mean…?"
"No, I don't mean anything lesbianic," she told Jessie. "I mean, we need to get back to HQ, asap."
"Don't use abbreviations in your speech it not good and it's lazy etc etc," said James, tutting. Cassidy blinked.
"Let's just get the hell out of here," she said.
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Another chapter happily completed…I need your reviews! They keep me alive…I'm wilting already…WILTING…
