No Dreams Within Her Heart, But Dreams of Love
Erik's Eyes:
I wanted and needed her so very badly. My body ached at the very sight of her, every time her hand accidentally brushed up against mine, chills were sent up my spine and her intentional touches left me weak at the knees. Before Gabrielle came into my life, my scorned flesh had only known one act of kindness, and that was Christine's single kiss. But now that Gabrielle was with me, not a day went by that she didn't lay her hand on my distorted face and smile up at me.
She never ceased to amaze me. She usually preferred to look upon me without my mask and despite my better judgment she would remove it whether I deemed it alright or not. Her hands would soothingly outline the side of the porcelain and then her fingers would tenderly slip underneath it and slide the mask off my face. Each time she did this, I would wait for screams to follow, I never had gotten over the images of women screaming in my face when I was young and on display, but the retched sound never escaped from her lips. Instead, my exposed bone and frail skin would be met by her petal soft fingertips, kindly caressing the indents within my skin. Sometimes she would even place her face against my cheek as well.
Every time she did this, I couldn't keep my hands and lips off of her. I would take her mouth with mine, and she would respond affectionately with her own. While we kissed, her hand would encounter my misshapen face, but she would never make a sound or even seem to care. One night I had asked her why she didn't fear my face as so many others had.
"My beloved Erik…You had no control over your deformity and as far as I'm concerned, your face is no different than any other man's…" she responded.
"Excuse me? What do you mean by that?" I asked curiously. As I said, she NEVER ceased to amaze me.
"You have the same face as anyone else…it's just that the skin and bone are misaligned and you had no control over that happening…You were merely a helpless baby…And what they don't know is that you are an extraordinary man…so intelligent, so loving and you have so many talents: magic, architecture, singing, composing, sculpting, drawing, painting…and so much more…the world would label you as a genius if they could only get past their invalid fear of your face." At these words she had laid her palm on my unmasked cheek and I pulled her palm to my lips and kissed it. She smiled and said, "How anyone could ever be so cruel to someone who is so loving and perfect is beyond me…"
Those words had echoed in my head for weeks. How anyone could ever be so cruel to someone who is so loving and perfect is beyond me… I looked down upon the sleeping form beside me in the bed, which was my Gabrielle. Angrily, I remembered Christophe and his treatment of her. The emotions I felt when I was forced to watch in hiding while he beat her returned and I nearly shook with rage. SHE is so loving and perfect…and yet what he did to her…I hope he is in hell for all he has done…
I had woke long ago, but I feared that if I got up, she would wake and the sight of her on the bed, soft and peaceful in sleep was something that I didn't want to disturb. I had instead, contented myself with thinking of her and nothing else for nearly an hour.
It had been a week since we moved into this cottage. I had found it on my morning ride, a small abandoned old shack, but it was perfect for the two of us. We had long since cleaned and outfitted it with my belongings that Raoul had sent after he had received our letter. We were now comfortably living together in peace. I couldn't have asked for more.
In my hour of remembering, I had made the decision. Today would be the day. Today I would take her to the chapel and we would be wed. I had already paid off the priest well to forget our wedding the moment it was over and to sign the marriage license without any unnecessary comments. He had been very cooperative and had actually told me that if I truly loved this woman, and wanted nothing but the best of things for her, God would recognize this…and he would marry us without being paid for his silence, which he promised to keep with or without pay.
I hadn't been able to be cold and distant any longer and I spilled my entire story to him in a confessional-like setting. He was young and understood the reasoning behind all of my past actions and without condemnation, he said that he believed I had suffered enough for my sins and deserved to see the light of heaven though a marriage to what sounded like an angel of God, my Gabrielle. I had thanked him profusely and left promising that we would be back to be married.
Next to me, Gabrielle began to stir. Oh, what a glorious day this would be. My wife, Gabrielle! I reached over and brushed a few locks of blonde hair behind her ear, my fingers lingering on her smooth, rosy cheek. Her eyes fluttered open and at the sight of me, a smile brightened her face.
"Morning" she moaned softly. My stomach constricted at the sound of her voice, languid with sleep. She stretched out gracefully, like a cat after sunbathing and her leg lightly brushed against my own. I clenched my teeth slightly, concealing my desire with a soothing smile. She mumbled something but then rolled over, laying her head against my chest. I wrapped my arm around her bare shoulder and she sighed contentedly.
I pulled the wine colored velvet covers up over the both of us. Her weight against my body was comforting and I savored the scent of her hair around me. I then couldn't resist her any longer. I dug my hand into the bulk of her hair and pulled her head up to mine. Her sky blue eyes met mine and I brought her lips up to my own. She woke up slowly as I brought her senses back to life with my mouth. The effects of sleep quickly wore off and she was soon kissing me back overpoweringly. I nearly lost all rational thoughts as she broke away, moving over me and caressed my bare chest. I breathed raggedly as her lips moved over my chest and down to my stomach. I felt my muscles harden as she ran her hands over them.
"Morning to you too…" I managed to rasp out.
She laughed at me almost wickedly as she sat back on her knees. "How about some breakfast?"
I stared at her for a moment, complete awe reflecting in my eyes. I then realized that her rational thoughts had been lost as well as she caressed me, but my words had brought them back. I cursed inwardly and nodded to her. She slid out of the bed and her feet made a slight patter as they hit the hard-wood floor of our bedroom. She was wearing a thin black nightshift and I couldn't help but stare at the soft outline of her form that was visible through the fabric.
She walked out of the room humming a song that I hadn't heard before. Her voice was indeed like that of an angel's, but she never thought of it as such. Sometimes I would ask her to sing for me, but she would say that her voice wasn't worth hearing and then change the subject. I knew she was a magnificent singer…I have a knack for noticing talent, but I could sense that something had caused her to not believe in her own abilities…perhaps Christophe had said or done something that would cause her to ignore the talent she had for singing…but no matter what the cause was, she would not sing for me.
I thought about what a pity wasting a voice such as hers was as I got out of bed myself. I adjusted the loose pair of pants I had worn to bed, so that they were more secure on my hips. I then grabbed a robe out of a drawer and slipped into it as I walked downstairs. I went to the kitchen, but she was not there as I had suspected she would be. I ducked my head around the corner to see if she was in the other room.
Then I caught sight of her. She had also grabbed a robe and was tying it about her waist as she stood outside on the porch. I walked slowly over to the screen door and pushed it open. She didn't turn her head nor did she even acknowledge that she knew I was there. I placed a hand on her shoulder and opened my mouth to speak, but she raised her finger to my lips and silenced me. I then realized what was happening and I too listened for what she might be hearing.
The soft baying of hounds echoed far off in the distance. I knew they were too far away as did she, but the eerie sound was disturbing none the less. How could we have forgotten? How could we have shut out the world so effectively and not expected it to come knocking on our door once again? The peaceful world that we had created for ourselves suddenly became very weak and fragile. It was painfully obvious how at any moment, a hound could catch our scent and lead their masters straight to us, destroying our world. I could see it now, this entire universe of ours, broken; crumbling around us and burying us alive in it's ruins. I ran my hand down her shoulder and watched as her hand came up to cover her own mouth. She turned to me slowly, her eyes clouding with tears.
"Oh, Erik! What have we done? Have we not both suffered enough for our sins…? I have killed, yes…but I was nearly killed by the same man…TWICE…was it not right that I spilt his blood…was it not enough that I too became a murderer in order to live? What is right? Why can they not simply leave us be? All I want is you…alone, and this cottage so we can live the rest of our lives together…is there sin in that too?" She spoke brokenly, but the tears remained a simple mist over her eyes. "You suffered you entire life…yes, you killed as well…but were they not justified by your years…decades… of pain? I just don't know what's right anymore, Erik! Why can we not find our happiness and keep it for once?"
The sight of her so broken combined with the words that were coming from her sweet lips nearly ruined me as well. I took a deep breath and then pulled her to me, embracing her shaking frame.
"Hush now…You are not to worry about this any longer! You deserve happiness, that is certain…You were right to have killed Christophe…you have suffered enough for your sins…never fear…you deserve happiness and so, it will be granted to you …What do you say? Would you feel up to a wedding tomorrow?" She smiled and nodded her head. I smiled at her while I silently cursed the hounds for causing our completely perfect morning to fade into the remains of what was going to be the greatest day of my life. The wedding would have to be put off, but only by a day. A day that would no doubt feel like an eternity.
It was obvious that today would be a day for simply enjoying each other's company and appreciating what we had. As much as I appreciated the cottage, it's surroundings and all of my possessions, in truth, there was only one thing that I would be devastated if I lost, and that, of course, was Gabrielle. I kissed her forehead before speaking to her softly.
"Come…let us go inside for breakfast…"
"I'm not hungry…but if you would like something, I would gladly make you whatever your heart desires…"
I laughed softly and made a dismissive gesture with my hand. "No, love…my heart only desires you…" I then led her inside and into our living room. After gently setting her on the couch, I went about lighting candles and the fireplace. Soon, the room was bathed in soft firelight as the world outside began to illuminate itself as well. I then returned to the couch and sat down beside her. She had been watching me move around the room in silence. I gave her a slightly concerned look, but she smiled and lifted my hand to her lips and kissed it.
"Erik…I love you…"
"Yes, I know my sweet…and I, you…"
"I don't know where I'd be if you weren't with me…"
"My darling…You do not have to worry about that…I'm not leaving you…"
She seemed lost in her thoughts because she didn't respond to my words, but instead kept speaking her thoughts out loud. "It wouldn't have mattered…somehow Christophe would have found me…for all I know, I would have still been chained in my parents' tomb at this very moment had you not saved me…" she looked into my eyes deeply, "Without you…I would be dead or no better than dead…and now that we have to live each day in fear of being caught, it is still immensely better than living each day in terror of Christophe or any other man for that matter…you have never laid a hand on me in rage, nor have you ever taken any situation out of my hands…not only do you not harm me, but you also give me nothing but complete love in return…you are an amazing man and I am not deserving of you…I love you so much!"
There was so much I wanted to say in return. I wanted to tell her how she saved me from an eternity of hell…how she erased Christine from my mind…how she gave me a kind of unconditional love that I never dreamed I would experience…and how she was going to allow me to have the one role I would have always been denied as a man…the role of husband. My words failed me and I could not utter a single word in response. She didn't find this odd, or if she did, she made no indication of it. Her eyes were still locked onto my face with nothing but love bonding her eyes to me. I met her cool calm eyes with my own frantic ones, speaking through our gaze.
"I know…it's alright…you don't need to say anything…I know…Our love is complete…"
I slipped my arm around her back and pulled her closer to me. Her scent, sweet and warm, like that of milk and honey, filled my senses completely.
"Oh, my Gabby…You make me want nothing else in this world but you! I cant imagine you not in my life…"
"And I will always be…I will not leave you…never could I…" It was no longer possible for me to avoid the sensation of her touch, her kiss, and I pulled her lips forcefully to meet mine. I kissed her endlessly, not leaving one inch of her exposed skin un-caressed. She pulled away gently breathing raggedly.
"I need you…I need you so very badly…"
"I know, my love…tomorrow we will be wed…then all will be right in the eyes of God…and we will find our happiness." Her dark, heated eyes devoured the sight of me. I barely contained the roar of pure longing that lingered in my throat.
She smiled sweetly. "I thought you once told me you didn't believe in God…"
I silently calmed myself before replying. "I didn't until you came into my life…But I figure that there has to be a God, if an angel such as you walks this earth…"
I couldn't deny how badly I wanted her at that moment. She had grown restless and openly spoke of her desire for me for the first time, and all I could do was tell her to wait. The reason I gave her seemed acceptable, but it was a lie. The truth was, I had no experience in such situations, and I was nervous as to what would happen. I knew that instinct would take over once I began to make love to her, but somehow, the fear of losing her caused me to surrender to my lies. She couldn't read my thoughts and I was glad for that. She merely smiled at me and asked if I was hungry. I lied again and told her I was. She got up and went to the kitchen while I remained on the couch, cursing the treacherous lies I had told her. Honesty! Was that not a main requirement for marriage? After a silent battle within myself, I deemed these lies as just and went to go find her in the kitchen Could tomorrow not come any sooner?
