DIS: I'm back! Yes, it's true, I am back with the second chapter of 'Home Ec'! I sincerely hope that it will be better than the last (grins eagerly). This chapter will surely be more fun, hehehe...It's when they're married! (snickers) Review responses!
Eternal Eyes: (oO) Why didn't you think you would like it? Because it was about food, babies and marriage? (pause) That is a bad combination.
Kinsunegirl4ever: Yep, I got your letter and replied to it as well. I love chattin' with ya on AOL. And I wouldn't let this fic go if it depended on my life. (o.o) Well, maybe for my life.
Moon'sHope: (Oo) You don't talk much do you? Lol.
horus the bfd lv999: (X.X) I'm starting to think that you type in some random letters for your penname. And the only reason I have so much time for stories is because I have a very, very dull life. Especially when most of your friends are gone at the four corners of the earth. Actually, that's not true, I just never have contact with them. (sweat drop)
Marin M: Thanks! You're the best.
Tormented Inoccence: I'm guessing this is her friend that reviewed with her pen name. Am I right? Glad you liked it!
Angel: No, she isn't saying that Yami and Kaiba re gay. Most of the time with the Home Ec. thing, they often pair the couples up randomly. Girl-girl, boy-boy, yeah.
Monkeyluv4646: (salutes her) Yes ma'am!
DIS: On to the next chapter, then! Enjoy! (snickers)
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Chapter Two, Marriage"I can't believe this," Marik hissed through tightly clenched teeth. "I don't deserve this torture!"
"(-.-) Gee, Marik, I feel really nice now that you've said that," Anzu grumbled pessimistically.
"Shut up, wife."
"Humph!"
"Now," the teacher beamed at them all, "here are the couples for the marriage part of this assignment. For Group One, Yami and Kaiba will be together, as well as Marik and Anzu. Group Two, Jou and Malik and Yuugi and Bakura. Group Three, Kate and Betsy and Jonathan and Mary. For Group Four, Honda and Otogi and Mai and Ryou. Group Five..."
"WHAT? I don't want to be with this goody-goody moron!" Bakura exploded at the end, pointed at Yuugi, who just blinked smiling in confusion. "He'll be raving and ranting about the 'heart of the cards' and how 'friends should stick together always'!"
"Suck it up!" Marik snapped from the other side of the room. "I have to be with Mazaki."
"I'd rather be with her, then this imbecile," Bakura glared at Yuugi, who inched back a little, still smiling – uncertainly, now, however.
"What in the...?" Malik sniffed the air and turned to Jou, who was blushing, discomfited. "Did you just take a piss?"
"N-no," Jou lied, flushing with embarrassment.
"YOU DID! YOU SICK MOTHERFU – "
"All right everyone!" The teacher clapped her hands. "The first thing we'll do is shopping. We shall all go to the grocery store. You all get a list and we'll see which couple cooperates best. You have to be careful to only get what's on the list. Okay, let's go!"
Mai nudged Ryou. "Come on hun, this'll be hella easy," she winked at Ryou, who blushed a little, following her, mumbling something. Honda and Otogi, who had noticed the exchange, stared after the two wide-eyed.
"What...?" They looked at each other, then shrugged.
"Don't be trying anything funny, Honda," Otogi warned him. "You know I don't drift that way."
"What way?"
"The gay way."
"(o.o) I'm not gay!"
"You don't have to admit it aloud, Honda, it's okay. We can get you help."
"(OO) I'm not gay!" Honda exclaimed more insistently.
"It's all right, Honda, you're different, and that's good. Everyone should be different. If everyone was the same, it would indeed be a dull world." Otogi cooed soothingly.
"(OO'') Otogi, I'm not gay!"
"Let's go, Honda, but remember, when we're done, I can get you help. I promise."
"(X.X)..."
X
At the store, we follow Bakura and Yuugi. Yuugi was pushing the cart, beaming. Obviously, he was the woman in marriage.
"So, let's see – " Yuugi heard thumps and saw that Bakura was throwing random things in the cart. "Bakura, those aren't on the list!"
"Who cares, midget?" Tears sprang to Yuugi's eyes and he started bawling in the aisle. Bakura's eyes widened and he turned to Yuugi in surprise. Everyone turned and frowned. "Shut up, little Yuugi!"
"You never care about how I feel, Bakura! You're always insulting my intelligence and my height!"
"(OO) What?"
"Yeah!" One of the other customers agreed, frowning. "What's wrong with you? How rude of you!"
"(X.X) Uh..." Dammit, that stupid midget made a scene...
X
"Um, is this really supposed to be on the list?" Jou asked uncertainly.
"What?"
"T-tampons."
"(OO) What?" Malik ripped the list out of the other blonde's hands and stared at the list. "It's even a brand! Tampax Pearl...What the hell is that?"
"It's a type of tampons, obviously," Jou informed him.
"Don't be a smartass, Katsuya."
"But – "
"You know what? You give us blondes a bad name!"
"(OO) What?"
"EXACTLY!"
"Huh?"
X
"I'm bored."
"Mm hmm, it'll only be awhile, Marik." Anzu told him, scanning the list.
"I'm hungry."
"(o.o) I'm sorry to hear that."
"My feet hurt."
"Well..."
"I'm tired."
"Well, I – "
"I'm thirsty."
"LISTEN MARIK," she snapped, turning to him. "I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHETHER YOU'RE BORED, TIRED OR WHAT, OKAY! NOW JUST SHUT UP!"
"(OO) Fine." Marik sniffed, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Ungrateful wench." She sighed, running a hand through her hair.
"God help me." Marik looked at a box of cookies and picked it up, shoving his hand in it, taking out an Oreo and munching on it.
Crunch, crunch, crunch.
"What are you eating?" She turned and her jaw dropped. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"I told you, I'm hungry."
"So, what, you're just going to eat food you haven't bought?"
"Essentially, that's what you do when you're hungry. You eat, Ms. Anorexic."
"I am not anorexic!" Anzu protested angrily.
"Well – "
"HOW ABOUT THIS?" She took a handful of Oreos and shoved them into his mouth. His eyes bulged and he tried to get her off him. "Hungry, Marik? HUH? HUH!"
(OO)
The other customers inched out of the aisle, staring as Anzu nearly choked Marik with Oreos.
"HOW ABOUT SOME MILK?" She took the carton of milk they had gotten earlier and opened it. Marik's eyes widened as she poured milk over his face.
X
"Have you ever wondered how they get the jelly inside the jelly donuts?" Yami asked Kaiba thoughtfully as he held a balloon and ate his jelly donut. Kaiba twitched.
"No, because I know."
"Really? How?"
"They..."
(What Yami hears...)
"Buddha uses his powers of alienation and then Santa Clause helps by shrinking the aliens and have them transport jelly into the donut. Then, of course, Santa and Buddha crush the aliens, making them a part of the jelly. Then, the alien lord comes and shrinks Santa and Buddha so that they are crushed and made jelly as well. That's why Santa and Buddha no longer are alive. In all truth, this also explains why Earth's atmosphere is made of jelly, because the alien lord smashed all the gods and made them jelly. So that is how you get jelly into the donut."
(What Kaiba really said)
"...use a machine to insert the jelly inside of the donut. The machine's in a factory. And of course, they use normal jelly. I read this on the internet some time earlier." Yami just stared at him in perplexity, his eyes wide with surprise. "You didn't understand a thing I just said, did you?" Silence. Kaiba sighed, moving forward, Yami staring at him through the corner of his eyes while following.
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"Mai, that's not on the list either!" Ryou sputtered as she piled beauty products in the cart.
"It's only a few things, Ryou, calm down!" Ryou stared dubiously at the two carts full of her beauty things.
And we haven't even started on the list yet! Ryou thought in horror, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.
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"I want a divorce," Marik growled, trailing behind Anzu, milk and cookies in his hair on his clothes.
"(-.-) You're not the only one. Why did you have to pour that chocolate syrup on me?"
"Because you're being a bitch today, that's why!" Marik roared with anger.
"Oh, we have to get Tampax Pearl. Come on, we're near that part anyway."
"What the hell is it? A book?"
"No, it's a beauty product." Marik snorted.
"Figures, since the retarded teacher is a woman and – THIS IS NO THE BEAUTY PRODUCT AISLE, MAZAKI."
"Yeah, it is." Anzu turned to him, all innocence.
"THE HELL IF IT IS! This is the women's section."
"Well we're getting tampons, duh."
"(OO) Getting...What?"
"I can't go in dat aisle!" A Yankee accent shrieked.
"YOU WILL AND I'LL MAKE YOU!" Malik roared, furious. "GO GET THE TAMPONS, DAMMIT!"
"NOOOO!" Jou started to cry. "I want Shizuka...(sniff)"
"Oh, you immature brat!" Malik spat at him and stormed down to where Tampax Pearl was and picked it up, throwing it at Jou, who started to cry harder.
"Malik!" Anzu cried, looking shocked. "Stop! Poor Jou, are you okay?"
"No, he's being mean." Jou pointed to Malik, sniffling.
"HELLO EVERYONE!" Yuugi skipped to the tampons he needed and spun around like a ballerina.
"What happened to you?" Malik and Marik both asked. Bakura glared through his black eyes.
"Yuugi...That's what happened. I knew I was going to be punished someday for putting a knife through every Beanie Baby of his collection." Bakura rubbed a bruise on his shoulder and winced. "Damn him." The two blondes looked at each other with raised eyebrows.
"What did he do?"
"Oh, it wasn't him. He started crying when I called him a midget and some rabid fucking shoppers lynched me and started beating me like a damn piñata." Bakura glared at Yuugi as he chatted happily to Jou, Honda, Otogi (who just arrived), and Anzu. "What happened to you, Marik?"
"Anzu attacked me with Oreos and milk," Marik grumbled. "She might look sweet, but when she gets pissed, she's a fuckin' banshee!"
"Like Isis?" Malik inquired, his eyes widening a bit.
"Almost worse." Bakura snickered.
"Glad that I wasn't the only that suffered. What about you, Malik?"
"Katsuya's too stupid and pathetic to try anything. He gives us blondes a bad name." The other two nodded in agreement. "He is hella annoying, though."
"Hey everyone!" Mai chirped, pushing three carts with Ryou pushing two other ones. "We're done!"
(OO)
"Yami, there you are!" Yuugi beamed at his yami, who was smeared with jelly from his donut and was still glancing suspiciously at Kaiba, who was twitching irately. "Where'd you get the balloon?"
"The lady from the bakery gave it to me," Yami announced proudly. "Kaiba didn't get one, cos he's too stuck up."
"Ohhh. Cool! I wanna...(poke) touch it." At that, Yuugi proceeded to happily poke Yami's balloon.
"(-.-) Like abiou, like yami," Bakura muttered. "Though that doesn't go for us. After all, my abiou's weak as hell."
"I'm sexier than Malik," Marik said, shrugging.
"The hell if you are!"
"Why do you think Anzu was groping me today?"
(OO)
Everyone went silent and stared at Anzu and Marik.
"(OO) WHAT LIES ARE YOU MAKING UP, MARIK?" Anzu bleated in horror.
"You were when you were on top of me, shoving cookies in my mouth. Which reminds me, when I passed out, you started to French me."
"The hell if I did! You weren't breathing so I had to give you mouth-to-mouth!"
"That wouldn't have happened if you hadn't shoved Oreos in my mouth and drowned me with milk!"
"WELL YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ACTED LIKE A PRICK!"
"THAT'S IT! I WANT TO GET A DIVORCE! NOW!"
"FINE, I'LL LEND YOU MY LAWYER!"
"GOOD!"
"GOOD!"
The others sighed
"All right everyone – " The teacher began, walking up to them. "Goodness! What happened to you all?"
"This is what marriage does to teenagers," Kaiba muttered irritably.
(oO)
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DIS: There! That's the end of the second chapter! And of course, I have two more chapters, since this is just a shorty. Please leave a review on your way out. Ciao!
