Author's Note: Evening all! Here is the next chapter...and I am sorry, but I will have to keep you all hanging for a little while. I will be leaving on Vacation from Fri July 29 to Wed August 3. I will be back for 3 days and then will leave again Sun August 7 to Fri August 12. SO...I hope to get you all another chapter in those three days, but if not I will write and post another soon following the 12th. I am sorry and please have faith in me. :) Love to you all!
Wandering Child, So Lost, So Helpless
I
hadn't slept at all during the night, for fear of the nightmares
that would some without the comfort of Erik's body next to mine. I
knew that I would either be haunted by the image of Erik falling into
the flames and or memories of Christophe and the murder. Oh
Erik, how I need him! What will I do? How can I live? MY ERIK! NO!
He was everything to me, both my rising and my setting sun! How
can the world continue when someone as great as Erik was lost to
it?
Raoul returned the next day, in the early morning. A
guard came with him to open the door, and Raoul grabbed me gently by
the arm, leading me out of the prison. Once outside he told me that
I wasn't going to be killed, but I was going to have to accept a
'life of service'. When I asked him what that meant, he bowed
his head and spoke softly.
"It means, Gabrielle, that you are to be a 'maid' in a wealthy man's home, for no pay…for the rest of your life…"
"Meaning I am to be a slave…" He didn't answer.
A carriage seemed to arrive on cue, and a large, muscular man stepped out onto the ground in front of us. He had a cold and manipulative quality to his square features and his eyes spoke of unending greed. He was intimidating, but given the situation it seemed as I had no option but to go with him.
"Is this the woman?" The sound of his voice terrified me in a way that would have impressed Christophe and enraged Erik. Raoul mumbled a response as the man looked me over without the slightest attempt at modesty. "I see…very well…will she be…troublesome…to me…?" There was a hint of a hidden meaning in that and I looked at Raoul with desperate eyes.
"I believe Philippe that she will do her housework without any difficulty, but she has an independent spirit which should be treated with respect…"
"I see…well, no matter…get into my carriage missy and we shall leave immediately…"
I turned to Raoul and I gave him a swift hug.
"I am sorry…it's all I could do for you…I tried to get them to allow you to serve me, but they saw right through that plea…they knew that I wouldn't treat you 'as you deserved to be treated' which to them was like a criminal. Just know that I am always here if you need me…" I smiled and told him thank you before climbing into Philippe's carriage.
I then found myself alone in a carriage with a complete stranger. He was eyeing me hungrily and I cursed men and their own gluttony within the sanctity of my mind. Erik would have a fit…he would have loved to be unleashed upon a man such as this…
"So, Young Miss, what were you imprisoned for?" He brushed his fingers along my neck as he spoke.
Every muscle within my body tensed and I wanted nothing more than to slap his fingers away, but I knew that a man such as this one would not tolerate any resistance. Instead I continued the conversation. "You took me in without knowing what I have done?"
"I do not think women are strong enough to truly commit a crime worthy of concern…So what is it you did," he sneered.
"I murdered my ex-husband…" My voice was hollow and emotionless.
"I figured it was something similar to that…what did he do to cause you to act in such a way?"
"Nearly killed me…twice…" His fingers were now stroking my throat as he turned my head to face him. His face was now inches from my own and I hated the fact that there was no deformity on the man before me. I cursed his perfect face. It was men like him that caused Erik's existence to experience so much pain.
"I don't care, as long as you do as you are told here, we will not have to repeat past mistakes…!" He leaned in closer, as if to touch his mouth to mine, but I quickly turned my head away with a brutality that seemed to impress him. "So…this is how it's going to be?…very well then, my dear… I love a challenge…"
Luckily for me, we were at his house before anything else could have been said or done. I got out quickly and was greeted by Philippe's wife, children and the rest of the staff. I couldn't help but notice that all of the woman Philippe seemed to hire were beautiful and young, which I assumed was no coincidence.
We all went inside, Philippe with his family and I with the other servants. My 'duties' began immediately. I was helping prepare the meal for the evening when another one of the young women began speaking to me.
"So, has the Master made his intentions clear with you, yet?"
"I assume I am right in thinking that your looks and age do have something to do with being hired here?"
"Quite right, I'm afraid…Master buys us all at auctions or servant trades…none of us chose to be in this house…he makes it quite clear what he wants and when he wants it…I take it he has spoken to you crudely or touched you, if you have already figured out so much about him?…usually he waits until a few days after he buys one of us, to make a move…it's quite sad to watch an energetic, and happy young woman change after he has gotten to them…"
"Yes, well…he wasted no time on me…but I have no choice…I was on death row and I have to remain here or die…"
"So, I take it we wont have to watch a perfectly happy woman be ruined..?"
"No…nothing he could do would ruin me…I killed my first husband who murdered both my parents and attempted to murder me…and then the man who I fell in love with after that…the man who was my entire world, was killed by a house fire…set by police men…I have nothing left in me…so no, I cannot be ruined…" It surprised me how quickly I had opened up to this woman, but I needed someone to hear; to understand; to just listen…
The other woman nodded solemnly. "Some men can be monsters, and others are angels…no one knows at first glance what lies beneath the skin, beast or angel…" I must have been staring at her with an odd expression on my face, because she suddenly became more chipper than before. "Anyway, where are my manners? I am Brigitte…and you are?"
"Gabrielle" I managed to squeak out.
Time seemed to pass fairly quickly after that. Most of my time was spent cleaning with Brigitte or avoiding Philippe. He tried many times to get me alone, but luck seemed to be on my side and I was always able to escape him. The physical labor was a welcome release to the inner pain that consumed my every waking moment. Sometimes, during the day, I would miss Erik so much that I grew nauseous.
Then one day, while working out in the garden, Philippe caught me alone. I looked around anxiously for a way to escape, but found none. He was next to me in a second and I felt completely helpless and sick to my stomach. He didn't say a word as he stared at me and I shifted uneasily. His body was then flush against mine and his mouth, only a few inches from my own. The sensation of his revolting breath on my face, made me feel as if I would be ill. He was about to kiss me, and I couldn't do anything to stop him. The nauseous feeling that I had been feeling more and more frequently lately came to my rescue. I quickly pushed him away and turned around, retching on the ground next to me. I thanked the heavens that he couldn't blame me for this. He seemed somewhat irritated, but went to fetch another maid to assist me. After I had gotten it out of my system and I began to feel somewhat better, I laughed at the blue sky above me. Nice touch Erik, my love…very inventive…but then again…you were a genius beyond compare… Brigitte was soon by my side and she walked me back into the house, laying me down on my bed. I kept telling her I felt fine, but she insisted that I relax and take the rest of the evening off.
"But I still have much work that needs to be done…"
"Not to worry, I will take care of that…but you look quite pale…you need to rest…would you like me to fix you something to eat?"
I then noticed that I was indeed hungry and so she rushed off to fix me something. I ate the plate she brought back and then slept for a few hours.
When I awoke, everyone was still out working. I felt better but was completely starving…What is wrong with me? I NEVER eat this much in a week, let alone one day… I was forging through the kitchen when Brigitte found me.
"What are you doing?"
"Finding something to eat…" I said, blushing slightly.
"Are you sure you feel alright?"
"Yes, I'm sure…" I turned away quickly, so she would not she the blood rushing to my face. The truth was that I didn't feel fine. I had headaches constantly, I was missing Erik so much more that it was almost impossible to bare, and I was relentlessly hungry.
"Gabrielle…!" There was no lying to Brigitte. She had grown to know me extremely well over the last few weeks and I couldn't stand to lie to her; she was my one and only friend in this world. I then broke down, telling her everything from my falling in love with Erik, to how exactly miserable I felt. I began to sob as I reached the end of my tale and she covered her mouth with her hand.
"WHAT!" I asked, outraged at the look of joy that had crossed her face.
"Gabrielle! You are free!"
"Excuse me?" I was completely baffled.
"Do you have any idea what you just told me?"
I was beginning to lose my temper. "What kind of a question is that? And what do you mean, I'm free!"
"Gabrielle…I think you might be pregnant."
I stared at her, all anger and sadness vanished, "What?" I said in a half whisper. I, pregnant? Could I really be carrying Erik's child? It made sense what she told me, but I couldn't believe it. If I got my hopes up and then found that I wasn't, I would be crushed once again, and I didn't think I could survive another tragedy. "No…I…I…I cant be…"
"Are you certain you CANT be?"
"Well, I mean…I COULD be" I blushed again, but somewhat out of joy. "…but…we cant be sure…"
"Not at least for a few months until your belly begins to swell…" She said with a giggle. I couldn't suppress a smile any longer. Simply the thought of carrying a child of Erik's was more than I could ever have hoped for. "I know what this means for me…but what did you mean by 'I'm free'?"
"I mean that, once the Master finds out that you are pregnant he will not want you in his house anymore…it's happened before…he gets very angry, but in the end, the pregnant woman always ends up leaving. Come…we must go tell him…the sooner you get out of here, the better it will be for you…and your baby."
"Brigitte…I have no where to go…and I could never leave you…although I must admit, I would very much like to leave…"
"Don't worry…all will works itself out…God would not have given you a child if it was not meant to be and I'm telling you…allow fate to take hold in this one…God knows what he's doing. And I would rather see you happy, healthy and with child then see you miserable here…Now come with me!"
I had no choice but to follow her to the Master's quarters. He was writing at his desk when Brigitte knocked softly on the door. Philippe called back for us to enter and so we did. When his eyes and mine met, I was trembling and hiding cowardly behind Brigitte.
My outlook on everything had changed the moment the thought of carrying Erik's child came into my mind. Before, I could have cared less if Philippe struck me out of anger, but now, the thought of him doing the same thing to me while I held another life within myself was terrifying. What if, in his fury, he decided to kick me…and he somehow injured Erik's baby…Or worse…what if his abuse caused me to miscarry. Than all of Erik would be lost to me. So, even though my own cowardice ashamed me, I wouldn't trade my pride for a part of Erik; causing me to remain behind the protective form of Brigitte.
"Yes?" He looked at me curiously than at Brigitte expectantly.
"Sir, it has come to our attention that Gabrielle here, might be…well…she is with child…"
Philippe looked at my cowering form then his gaze shot back to Brigitte. "Are you certain!"
"Yes, Sir. We are…"
His face grew quite red, but he seemed to be caging his anger. "Fine…," he said through clenched teeth, "Ms. Brigitte, if you would leave Gabrielle and I for a moment, so I can have a word in private, that would be most appreciated."
I watched in horror as Brigitte exited through the door behind me, leaving me feeling completely exposed and vulnerable. My body began to shake even more than before and I fixed my gaze upon the floor. I could feel Philippe's gaze burning through my skin, but the sensation of absolute fear clenching my heart wouldn't allow my eyes to meet his.
"Why, so much fear of me all of the sudden?" His voice was saturated with an annoyed tone. I remained silent and he got up from his chair and walked toward me. "You know what this means for me…you being pregnant, do you not?"
"Yes, Sir." I squeaked out.
"Do you know what normally happens to women of mine who are found pregnant."
"The other ladies told me that you normally send them away…"
"Yes…or, at least that's what they are told. But, believe me when I say that no woman in this house, other than my wife, has lived to deliver the child they carry. So…may I ask you a simple question?" I wasn't about to answer and he didn't seem to expect one either. "Who's child is it? I know it is not mine, unfortunately…for if it were, I may have allowed you to live, considering you are such a magnificent beauty…but, since it couldn't be, tell me…who's the lucky bastard who got to have his hands on your body?"
I was petrified. He had outwardly told me he was going to kill me and that somehow seemed to scare me more than Christophe's attempts to kill me. I finally lifted my gaze to his. He had insulted me and if I didn't respond, he was bound to insult Erik, and so I did the most logical thing I could think of, and held my tongue.
"What's the matter? Were you raped you in a deserted alley way? A monster, was he? Come, now…you must be able to tell me something about him…no, wait…I know!…you have no idea who the man was do you…sold yourself to so many men that it could be any male over the age of 18 in Paris?"
Let him push me to my boiling point…I am more likely to fight, if he insults all I hold dear…
"Oh, wait…I remember Raoul telling me that you were re-married after you killed your husband…Are you ashamed of that man? Or wasn't he the man you wish he had been? Not as impressive in bed as you had hoped he would be?"
I knew replying calmly would make him even more enraged. "No, sir…I am not ashamed of my husband…I loved him very much and it is his child I carry."
He grew even angrier. "I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT…THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOME FORCED WAY THAT THAT MAN GOT WITH YOU, IF I COULD NOT! AM I NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH FOR YOU? DO YOU TRULY PREFER A MUTILATED FACE TO ONE SUCH AS MINE?" I stilled and stared at those words. "YES, I KNOW WHO IT WAS YOU MARRIED AND WHAT BECAME OF HIM…TELL ME, DID YOU TRULY NOT MIND THE HIDEOUSNESS OF HIS FACE? OR DID YOU GET SOME SICKENING PLEASURE OUT OF CARESSING HIS DEFORMED SKIN?"
The anger in me was growing at an astounding rate, but I harnessed it all and stashed it in the back of my mind. Calmly, I replied, "Sir, my husband and I loved each other thoroughly and there was no 'force' used in any of the time we spent together. My love was more beautiful than an angel straight from heaven, but his beauty was in his heart and soul…something that you wouldn't understand…" I couldn't resist adding that last phrase on with venom in every breath.
"OH REALLY!" He pulled out a shotgun from his inner coat pocket and grabbed me forcefully around my waist, pulling me flush against him. "Allow me to take you now…make love to you until you miscarry…and I will allow you to live…SO KISS ME! NOW! OR DIE!" His hand took hold of my hip and I slapped it away, he stared at me dazedly and I yelled in his face.
"I WOULD RATHER DIE!" I unleashed all my anger and with all my might grabbed the gun from his arm. His grip lessened, but he still held on to it and so I bit down, as hard as I could on his hand. He released both me and the gun simultaneously. I held the gun out in front of me and pointed it at his chest. He was cradling his hand, but his eyes never left the weapon in my hand. I allowed my fluttering heart to calm before speaking.
"Now, you are going to allow me to walk out that door, and you are never going to come looking for me…If you do, I will see to your death, mark my words!" He stared at me as I left the room, walking as briskly as possible.
For a moment I contemplated returning to Erik's lair, but the memories of him dying would come back to haunt me if I stayed there. So I decided to go to the one other person in this world I could trust. Raoul.
