Gojyo hooked his foot under the rung on the chair, pulling it closer to the bed. His precariously balanced plate of food in one hand and a beer in the other. What he wouldn't give for a cigarette right now, but he remembered Hakkai's ban on smoking in a sickroom and since the sickroom in question was Hakkai's; Gojyo didn't have a problem following the rule. That didn't mean he wasn't itching for one, badly.

The chair scraped across the floor as it moved. Gojyo quickly glanced over to the bed, but Hakkai hadn't even stirred. Earlier when they had first arrived at the inn, Hakkai had insisted he was alright, but even Sanzo had seen through his lie and had practically ordered him to bed. Hakkai had been asleep the instant he lay down.

Why, Gojyo wondered, as he settled himself into the chair, Why is it that things never quite go as we plan? Leaning back, he put his plate in his lap and took a long drink of his beer. The first part of the pass had been longer and tougher than they had expected. Then the ambush and Hakkai getting hurt. Gojyo glanced at his friend. He tried not to think of how close he had come to losing Hakkai. His heart had stopped the minute he saw him lying on the ground, not knowing if he was alive.

Instinct had taken over for most of the battle as he had hurried to Hakkai's side. The relief he had felt when Hakkai had opened his eyes had been unbearable. Gojyo had just wanted to touch him, to reassure himself Hakkai was ok. He had wanted to tell his friend how worried he'd been, but instead he had made a joke about graves and dandelions. Dandelions. Shit, he hadn't thought of them in years. A child's bouquet given with love to mothers, or a weed that grows and chokes the grass, then goes to seed, blowing like snowflakes on a warm summer's day.

After Gojyo had settled Hakkai in the backseat of Jeep next to Goku, he had managed to drive through the rest of the pass, trying to avoid as many bumps as possible, trying to make the ride as smooth as he could for Hakkai. Not an easy job and one he was only slightly successful at. Hakkai had rested his head on Goku's shoulder, Goku placing a protective arm around him. Hakkai tried healing himself using his ki, concentrating on his most serious injury, the concussion. The hike and the injury had depleted too much of his strength though and he hadn't been able to finish before he had passed out from the effort.

Whenever the jeep hit a large bump, Gojyo could hear Hakkai gasp with pain. He knew Hakkai still had one hell of a headache and the bruises had darkened and spread. His strained muscles were cramping from lack of movement.

The town, when they finally found one, was small, but they did have an inn for travelers who managed to survive coming through the pass. That was how the innkeeper had phrased it. If only he knew, Gojyo thought. Hakkai had walked in, limping and practically stumbling with exhaustion.

"I only have one room left," the innkeeper had said, "and it only has a single bed. I can have blankets brought in for you to sleep on the floor if you would like." He took a long look at Hakkai before deciding to add, "We are a small village, but we do have a Doctor available, if you would like me to send for him."

"No thank you." Hakkai had said, smiling. "I just fell while we were on the mountain. I'm fine, really." The innkeeper had looked doubtful, but didn't say another word. Sanzo also took a long, piercing look at Hakkai. The bruises looked all the worse against his unusually pale skin.

"We'll take it." Sanzo had said. "Is there a restaurant nearby?"

"There's one down the road." the innkeeper answered as he handed Sanzo the key. "You can't miss it. It's not fancy but it's clean and the food's good."

Sanzo glanced at Hakkai again. "Hakkai, you take the bed."

"Sanzo," Hakkai interrupted, "I really am fine."

"I'll be the judge of that." Sanzo growled. "Hakkai, you go to bed, to sleep and rest. You are of no use to me as you are right now. Gojyo," he added as he threw the key to me, "make sure he stays in bed. I'll have food sent to the room for you. Let's go Goku."

Without waiting for a reply, Sanzo walked away, expecting total compliance from the both of us. I looked at Hakkai and shrugged. "Shall we?" I asked. "His Lordship has left his commands and we must obey."

Hakkai looked at me and the lie started to form on his lips. "Don't bother." I tell him. "Even if Sanzo-sama hadn't left his damn orders I would have made sure you slept. You're injured and you've over used your Ki. You need sleep."

Hakkai had been asleep the minute his head had touched the pillow.

Sitting in the chair, watching Hakkai as he breathed, flooded Gojyo with too many memories of the first time he had sat at Hakkai's bedside. It scared Gojyo how close he had gotten to Hakkai over the years. At least this time he knew Hakkai would survive, but with time, the ties had grown so much stronger that just the possibility of losing him left him cold with fear

In the beginning, before Gonou had become Hakkai, before Gonou had even regained consciousness, he had just been a visitor. Just someone passing through Gojyo's life, like everyone else always had. Just passing through. It would have saddened Gojyo if he had died, especially after all the work he had done for him, fixing his wound, but it wouldn't have left much of a mark on his life.

The real attachments had started when Gonou woke up. He became a guest in Gojyo's house. A confidant, a confessor, someone who understood guilt and pain. Someone Gojyo chose to protect, even with his life.

Then when Gonou became Hakkai and came to live with him, they had had to start over, setting up new limits to their relationship. Hakkai became a housemate, a partner, a nurse, and a mother. They argued, they yelled, they talked. They learned how to coexist, to be friends, something both of them had never really had. Gojyo treasured that friendship.

Gonou was gone, though part of him still lingered in Hakkai. Hakkai was patient, kind, understanding. He worked very hard to keep his darker side deeply buried; only allowing a small portion of it to slip out when it rained. His smile hid many of his real thoughts, but Gojyo had learned to understand him anyway.

Then the journey had started and somehow, by relying on each other, the four of them had become a family. They each had their roles to play, but underneath, there was the real emotion of caring, feelings that they were all afraid to accept, let alone express.

All Gojyo knew was that he would die for any of the others, shit, even the stinking Monk, not that he'd ever let Sanzo know that. He'd die for them, find a way to come back, and die for them again, if need be.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (Gojyo's POV)

It's been almost two hours since Hakkai fell asleep. Now I sit, and watch, and protect. My food, picked at, but barely eaten. Guess I don't have much of an appetite. I must be missing the noisy monkey. My beer is gone and so are several others. The bedding has been delivered and spread out. Hakkai never stirred.

I yawn and stretch. Goku and Sanzo should be getting back soon. I guess my reward of sake and women will have to wait for another night. Family will always come first. Just wish I had the courage to tell them that.

The End

4