Jealousy

An Alice 19th One-Shot

Tribute to Frey Weilhausen

Rated PG-13 for language

Disclaimer: Alice 19th, its character, et cetera is property of Yuu Watase. Alianne is my own character.

Note: Most of this is true. Alianne and her (brief) story is completely made up, however. This is the end of the sixth book, beginning of the seventh. (The Ida story is slightly… deranged? I mean, what really happened was that she was engaged, and she wanted to marry a fifteen-year-old Frey, but he knew that he couldn't support her et cetera, and she ran away and drowned. Yeah…)


Frey couldn't believe it. His home had been ransacked. The people he loved were dead. It was all Eric's fault. He couldn't believe it. The man had been a brother to him. A fucking brother. Did that matter? Of course not.

Jealousy. The monster that so many souls had fallen to. Darva bathed in it, loved it, cherished it. Because through jealousy he got power. Alice had fallen to jealousy through her sister, but she rose up again. She conquered jealousy through love. Mayura couldn't do that. She fell to jealousy and remained there, with Darva.

He had fallen to jealous once too…

Frey looked away. He couldn't bring himself to recall that incident. He couldn't do it.

Shit. It looked like Eric had fallen to jealousy over Frey. But why? he silently moaned. Why, Eric?

Because you were more powerful than I am. Because you learned too damn quickly. If you hadn't been as bright as you were, I wouldn't have gone over to Darva.

Damn you, Eric. Damn you! If only you had seen the advantages of my abilities! If only you realized that I could help you all! You should never have betrayed the Lotis! What appeal does Maram have, anyway!

I loved you, Eric. My brother, remember? That's how I saw you. After I lost my sister…

His throat closed up. No. He couldn't say think it.

… But he had no choice.

I lost my sister, damn you, Eric. She died. And then Ida, the woman I loved, she died too. Both of them over me, and over jealousy. Alianne died because I was jealous. She had fallen in love. She loved someone other than her big brother, other than me. And I was jealous. I was furious, I threw her out. But I didn't expect her to kill herself over that.

And then Ida… we were in love, and then she wanted to marry me… She went out and drowned… that was my fault too…

Dammit, Eric! I went to you for comfort after they died! When I blamed myself and took comfort in the dark, you showed me the kindness of light! What happened, Eric? Why did you not find comfort in the light too?

… Jealousy. The green monster that can consume anybody and everybody.

… It consumed you.