"Ow!" Sheppard blinked and looked around. He saw the empty chair where Elizabeth had been sitting before turning back to the doctor. "What time is it?"
"It's quite late. I sent Elizabeth to bed more than two hours ago. She was here most of the day, as well as yesterday." As he spoke, Beckett pulled a syringe from the Colonel's arm, swabbed the needle mark with an alcohol wipe and pressed a small bandage on it. He placed the syringe next to three vials of blood on a nearby tray.
Sheppard looked down at the cuts on his left arm, a confused frown on his face. "All day? Yesterday? How long have I been here?"
Beckett signaled his patient to be quiet and placed the head of the stethoscope on his chest. The doctor listened for a few seconds, moving the instrument from one place to another. Finally, he pulled the earpieces out of his ears and flipped the stethoscope around his neck.
"Since yesterday. You're better, and lucky to be so." Beckett picked up a chart and began writing. "How are you feeling?"
Sheppard winced as he moved his left arm. "Worse than last time."
"I'm not surprised."
"When can I get out of here?" Sheppard tried to peak at the chart.
"Not for a couple of days. You can't even sit up on your own yet." Beckett set down the chart and crossed his arms. "Colonel, you're lucky to be alive. The load of abnormal protein in your system should have killed you. Liver function is not back to normal, and you have an infection. This is a lot worse than last time. I need to keep you here a little longer."
Beckett saw Sheppard's face register disappointment. He smiled a little paternally. "I tell you what. We'll get you out of bed in the morning. And, if you're good, I might let you have some visitors."
"Oh, thanks." Sheppard mustered a little sarcasm.
"Rodney? Come in." Sheppard turned his head on the pillow just enough to see McKay hovering near the door. His voice was stronger, and had lost some of the raspy quality. "You're up early."
McKay looked around before walking in and standing next to the bed. "Yeah. Carson has had his staff running everyone off. Except Elizabeth, that is."
"What's been happening?"
"Not much. We only spent four days looking for you on that God forsaken planet. And, all the while knowing you were on the hive ship and probably dead. Then we all spent the next twelve hours wondering if you…you…" McKay's indignation suddenly drained away. He closely studied the man in the bed. It was as if he was seeing him for the first time. The bruises and cuts were vivid and raw. The monitors were still connected, as well as the IV drips and oxygen cannula.
Sheppard watched different emotions cross the physicist's face. "What's wrong?"
"We thought you were dead. We thought you died on that ship, killed by having the life sucked out of you." McKay struggled to keep emotion out of his voice as he dropped into a chair. "How the hell did you get out?"
"I don't know, Rodney. I remember only vague snatches. Beckett thinks more will come back to me. He says I need to be patient." The Colonel carefully rubbed his right temple and winced.
McKay started to stand up, worry on his face. "Are you okay? I'll get Carson."
"No, no, I'm fine. It just feels like I've gone nine rounds with Ronon." Sheppard shifted in the bed and grimaced at the effort. His voice was strained when he spoke. "Anything happen the last few days, besides that?"
"No, no. Everything pretty much came to a standstill while you were gone." McKay watched the Colonel. Except for a small lamp above the head of the bed, the lighting in the infirmary was low, but he could see the Colonel was in pain. "Are you sure you don't want me to get Carson?"
"I'm good, Rodney. Nothing's broken or seriously damaged or anything. Honest." Sheppard's smile only partly relieved McKay's concern. "No-one will tell me what's going on. I heard a couple of teams are off-world. Who, where?"
"Well, Pederson and Smith are on S36-426 with Corrigan and some of the others. They're going through an extensive network of caves that look like an underground installation of some kind. Seems a seasonal monsoon will cause flooding sometime in the next couple of weeks. The ruins are crumbling and might not survive another flood, so we need to survey it now. It's yielding some stuff that might be useful. I just hope they don't…"
"Rodney."
McKay stopped. "Sorry. Who else? Ah, Ronon is off chasing down a lead on some people from his home world."
"Really?" Sheppard raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah. He didn't want anyone to go with him, so Elizabeth let him go alone. He's…a…not the easiest to…" McKay stopped and leaned forward a little. "How do you deal with him?"
"I guess I'm good at dealing with difficult people." The Colonel thought for a moment, frowning. "Where did the intel come from?"
"Actually, some of Col. Caldwell's men heard it on their last mission. Anyway, Elizabeth agreed he should try to find them. He'll be back in a couple of days. Caldwell brought that information back the day after you went missing, while we searching for you. Ronon stayed to help with the search. Then when you came back, he waited until Carson said you were going to be okay." He paused. "You know, just about everyone tried to volunteer to join the search."
Sheppard looked away, his face unreadable, but before he could say anything, Beckett walked up to the bed. Patty and a large orderly followed closely behind.
"Okay, Rodney, I think that's enough for now." The doctor folded his arms across his chest to emphasize his statement. "It's time for my patient to get up for a few minutes and we don't need an audience. Come back in a couple of hours."
"I got him out of bed for a walk earlier, but still can't get him to eat anything." Dr. Beckett stood at the infirmary door with Elizabeth Weir. There was concern in his voice. "He went back to sleep just a few minutes ago."
"He's okay, isn't he?" She almost whispered.
Beckett nodded and smiled at her. "Oh, yes, yes. John's much better. He's probably still a bit nauseous from the abnormal protein in his system. I expect he'll get hungry soon enough."
"Has he remembered anything else?" She asked quietly.
"I think so. He asked for Dr. Heightmeyer. She was here for a little while this early morning."
"Really? Why?" She was disconcerted.
"One of the nurses said she thought he had a nightmare late last night." Beckett frowned thoughtfully. "He asked to talk to Kate, so she came by. She left just before he dozed off."
"You're surprised he asked for her?" She raised an eyebrow.
"I've discovered that John is not an ordinary man. He often surprises me."
"I think he does that to everyone."
They approached the sleeping patient. Elizabeth could see his color was better, even though the monitors and IV were still attached. Beckett automatically checked the monitors and Sheppard's pulse. Elizabeth walked around to her chair. She indicated that she wanted to stay for a while, holding up the data pad she had brought. Beckett nodded and she sat down.
"You really don't need to stay, you know." The doctor spoke softly. She had been here a good deal since the Colonel came through the Gate, but he knew there was no use in arguing.
"I know, but I want to. And, I am actually getting some work done." She smiled at him. "I think there should be a friendly face here when he wakes up."
"I'm sure he would appreciate that, Elizabeth. Call me if you need anything." He smiled indulgently then left. Beckett had watched a solid friendship grow between the two of them. Sheppard was an easy man to like, but the ready smile and charm were deceptive. The Colonel was far more capable and intelligent than his demeanor implied. Beckett also knew he could be absolutely ruthless if need be. And, Elizabeth was an extraordinary woman. The doctor's own respect for her knew no bounds. Sheppard and Elizabeth were an exceptionally good team. Both had great strength and a deep sense of responsibility for the people here. Each was very protective and supportive of the other.
Elizabeth watched Beckett leave then settled back in the chair, data pad forgotten on a table at the head of the bed. She studied Sheppard's face for several minutes. He looked so young, despite the bruises and illness. As she watched, the muscles in his jaw, and his whole body, tightened. She noticed he was breathing faster. He began to sweat, and when she touched his cheek, the skin was cool. One of the monitors showed an increase in his heart rate.
"John?" Her voice was a whisper. She hesitated to wake him, hoping this would last only a moment. But, she became alarmed when his breathing became faster and uneven. The monitor indicated his heart rate was increasing, too. She could see his eyes moving very rapidly under closed lids. It was a nightmare. She leaned over him, grasped his right hand and gently shook his shoulder. She spoke louder, with urgency in her voice. "John, wake up! Wake up!"
Sheppard didn't seem to hear her. His breathing came in gulps between moments when he held his breath. She shook his shoulder and squeezed his hand harder.
"Wake up! John! It's okay, wake up!" Elizabeth looked toward the door. "Carson!"
"What is it?" Beckett ran in. He looked from Sheppard to the monitors to Elizabeth. The heart rate monitor read one hundred fifty. "We need to wake him up."
Elizabeth almost shouted. "John! Please wake up!"
"Colonel!" Beckett rubbed Sheppard's chest with his knuckles. "Come on. Open your eyes!"
Sheppard suddenly sat up. He turned and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, gripping the edge of the mattress tightly and bowing his head low. The monitor leads pulled tight. Elizabeth moved in front of him, placing one hand on his shoulder and another on his chest. She could see he was trying to break free of the nightmare, trying to control his breathing.
Beckett moved around to stand next to Elizabeth. He looked at the monitors. "Come on, son. Lay back down. You're not fit to get up."
They held Sheppard steady for a minute or two, glancing worriedly at each other. When his breathing and heart rate slowed, he straightened a little. He blinked at them then moved to lay on his right side. Beckett and Elizabeth guided him gently down and pulled the blanket up over him, carefully tucking it under his injured arm.
"Damn it." Sheppard spoke softly.
Elizabeth peered closely at his face. She brushed his cheek with her finger tips. "It was just a bad dream, John. Go back to sleep."
Beckett moved back around the bed and studied the monitors again. He put the stethoscope in his ears and held the membrane for a moment to warm it before placing it on the Colonel's back to listen.
Sheppard closed his eyes for a moment before speaking. His voice was so low, they had to strain to hear. "Not really a dream. I remember something. I remember what happened to the humans on the hive ship."
"What happened, John?" Elizabeth asked almost hesitantly. She sat down again and closed her hand around his. She could fell his breath on her hand as he tightened his fingers.
"They were slaughtered by the Wraith." He stared at some point past her shoulder. "I don't know how long I'd been there when Wraith started to run into the cocoon chamber and began feeding. More and more came. There must have been several dozen, and more kept coming. It was as if they couldn't stop themselves. They fed as fast as they could then moved on to the next person. They were pulling humans out of the cocoons, even dead bodies, and fighting over them. Sometimes, I saw two or three of them were trying to feed off a single person."
He stopped for a moment, breathing hard and eyes unfocused. Elizabeth and Beckett realized he was seeing it all over again. They waited patiently, understanding that he needed to get this out. Beckett slowly folded his stethoscope and stuffed it into his lab coat pocket. He automatically checked the monitors again.
"It didn't take long. The ship had been in hibernation for a long time, so there weren't a lot of humans left to feed on. The Wraith started to turn on each other. Then I saw what was happening to them." He fought to control his breathing. "The device was killing them. The Wraith had massive sores everywhere. They were dying. They must have thought feeding would help them. It didn't."
Sheppard exhaled a long, shuddering breath and closed his eyes. "I…couldn't move…didn't do anything. I just watched them die.
"John, there was nothing you could do." Elizabeth bit her lip. She looked up at the doctor who glanced at the monitors one more time, nodded and quietly left them alone.
"I know, I know. They would have died anyway. It's just having to sit there and do nothing while…" Sheppard looked at her. "I hope you never see a Wraith feed."
"I'm sorry, John." She didn't care if he saw the tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry I let you take that weapon with you, that I allowed the mission at all."
"Don't be." He half smiled at her and squeezed her hand a little. "It was worth it. There's one less hive ship out there for us to deal with."
Elizabeth leaned closer. "Do you want anything?"
"Please…water." He glanced toward the bedside table.
She held the glass for him to drink. After a couple swallows, he turned from it and nodded. She set the glass back on the table.
"Thanks." Sheppard closed his eyes for a long moment then turned his head a little and grinned lopsidedly at her. "You know, people are going to start talking if we keep meeting like this."
Elizabeth thought about it and nodded. "Probably."
The next morning, Elizabeth Weir entered the infirmary and was pleased to see Lt. Col. Sheppard sitting on a chair instead of lying in bed. He still had an IV, but his color was closer to normal and the monitor leads were finally gone. A food tray sat on a low table nearby, the remains of a meal on it. He was dressed in hospital scrub pants and a robe. His left arm was out of the sleeve and Dr. Beckett was sitting on a low stool and checking the wounds on his forehead and arm. Beckett saw Sheppard grin at Elizabeth and turned to glance at her and then went back to his examination.
"Ah, Elizabeth. The Colonel here thinks that just because he went for a walk and had something to eat, he's well enough to get out of here." Beckett glowered at his patient.
Sheppard rolled his eyes at Elizabeth as she approached. "Just to my quarters."
"You are going to stay here until I say otherwise." Beckett crossed his arms. "Remember, Colonel, I can ground you."
"He's right, John. You need to stay here until Carson thinks you are well enough to leave." She leaned against the bed, trying not to smile. It was very good to see the returning life in his eyes.
"If you behave yourself and continue to improve, I'll release you tomorrow afternoon. No sooner." The doctor sighed. He picked up a roll of surgical tape and started to close the cuts with it. "John, three days ago, we weren't even sure you'd survive. Please humor me."
Sheppard thought for a moment. "Okay, okay, okay. I'll be a good boy."
"Good. Now, your blood work is getting back to normal. And, these cuts are healing nicely." Beckett smiled. "You'll probably have some scars, but they shouldn't be too noticeable. You can put this on now."
Sheppard gingerly stuck his arm in the sleeve Beckett held up for him. He looked around the infirmary then at the others and sighed deeply.
"It's good to be home. I do remember thinking I might not make it back."
Elizabeth frowned and bit her lip. "Have you remembered anything else?"
"Enough." He looked at her, painful memories evident on his face. "Is the Daedalus due back?"
She nodded. "Tomorrow afternoon, and Col. Caldwell wants a report."
"I don't know if I want allow that." Becket crossed his arms.
His expression darkened. "It's okay, Carson. I need to do it sooner or later."
"Sir?" Ford and Teyla stood at the infirmary door. Teyla carried a neatly folded stack of clothes and Ford held a pair of boots. "We brought the clothes you wanted."
They stopped at Beckett and Weir's suddenly suspicious expressions. Sheppard smiled innocently when they all turned to look at him.
"I asked Ford to bring me some clothes in case the good doctor decided to release me, that's all. I'll need them eventually." The Colonel shrugged.
Beckett gestured to Teyla and Ford to come in. "Give them to me, please. I'll let the Colonel have them when he's fit enough to leave."
"Sir, are you sure you're okay?" Ford glanced at Beckett then back at Sheppard when the latter swayed slightly as he bent over to strap on his sidearm. The Colonel leaned against the infirmary bed to finish.
Teyla hovered nearby. "Dr. Beckett, you have given Col. Sheppard permission to leave the infirmary?"
Beckett sighed. "Yes, but against my better judgment. Immediately after the briefing, he's to go to his quarters. I'm counting on you two to make sure he does."
"Yes, Sir, Dr. Beckett. Glad to be of help." Ford smiled at the Colonel's scowl.
Sheppard glared mockingly at Ford and Teyla. "I'll remember this, traitors."
"We will be happy to be of assistance, Doctor." Teyla half grinned even though her concern was still obvious.
"Fine." Sheppard carefully adjusted the left shoulder of his shirt. He turned to Ford. "I want a MALP prepped to go through the Gate while I'm in the briefing."
"May I ask why, Sir?" Ford looked puzzled.
"I think I remember where I parked the car." Sheppard answered cryptically as pushed away from the bed and started to walk slowly towards the infirmary door.
