Author's Note:

This is the second of three preludes that do not particularily add to the plot. Humor for humor's sake, y'know.

Prelude 2: Spinners End

With a loud thump, Ron fell off of his small bed onto his head. Clutching his skull and screaming in agony, he tried to remember the dream he had been having.

It was a strange dream, but Ron recalled that there had been spiders in it. And the spiders had been talking to someone...yes, that was it. The spiders had been talking to someone about killing somebody. They had been plotting to kill him, and were going to kill his father also! Rage like he had never known before overtook Ron as he leapt off his cot, hit his head on the ceiling, and staggered out the door.

Sprinting to the garden, he tripped over his feet and fell flat on his face again. For the third time in less than ten minutes, his head felt like it was splitting open. Slightly disoriented, he vaguely wondered if this was how Harry felt all the time. It would certainly explain some things.

Mentally reminding himself of his quest, he jumped back up and grabbed Fred's broomstick. Seething, he took off for the Forbidden Forest. Aragog and his spidey buddies would pay. The journey stoked Ron's anger, and he vowed that none would survive after he dealt with them.

"Beware, spiders!" he said aloud, "Spiderman Ronny is coming!"

Nothing could stop him now.

A few hours later, Ron dismounted on the outskirts of a shadowy forest. Gathering his anger, he set off determinedly into the trees. Soon, he came upon the realm of the spiders.

"What do you want, small human?" hissed the creepy things in unison.

"You were going to kill my father! I'll kill you!" yelled Ron heroically.

"No...search your feelings. I am your father," intoned Aragog wisely.

"No... NO! That's...that's...that's impossible!"

"Why is it impossible, son?"

"Because you're a spider! And I happen to be a human! It's genetically absurd!"

Sighing, Aragog, defeated, replied, "Well, it worked once before. I suppose it was worth a try."

Throughly confused, but unwilling to show it, Ron bellowed again, "I am going to kill you!"

If he had eyebrows, Aragog would have raised them.

Infuriated by the spider's seeming indifference, Ron leapt into action, roaring. Grabbing a stick in each had, he set about the ambitious task of slaughtering the spiders.

Having been informed that this would happen weeks before by the centaurs, the spiders were not shocked by his rash actions. They had been told that it was written in the sky that they should sit around and do nothing, for, eventually, help would come and they would be hailed as universal heroes.

An hour later, Ron stood in the middle of the clearing with his hand held up in a noble position, surrounded by thousands of slashed-up, eviscerated, and extremely dead spiders. Proudly strutting back to where he had left the broom, he marveled at his talent and bravery. He was indeed a powerful force to be reckoned with.

Having watched the proceedings in silence from the sidelines, the centaurs quietly applauded their ingenuity. After all, they had just eliminated a predator with next to no effort. There was, however, one major flaw that had appeared in their great plan. Bane tossed his head disdainfully, and stated what all of the herd were thinking.

"So...uncivilized."

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Grinning broadly with spider guts down his front, Ron dismounted in front of the Burrow. Met by the rest of his family, he proudly spun the tale of how he had destroyed Aragog and Friends.

Concluding triumphantly, he proclaimed, "They're animals! And I slaughtered them like animals! I HATE THEM!"

Molly wiped tears from her eyes as she wondered at her youngest son's heroics.

"Oh, Ronny...I'm so proud of you!"

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Author's Note: Reviews make the world go 'round. Sometimes.