I sneezed six times before I decided to get the hell away from dust. Seriously why even make it? And this stupid feather duster? It makes everything worse. I swear it leapt out of my hand and made more of a mess. It was so ridiculous.
I was just about finished, aka I was sitting in a chair reading a book from a shelf, when a bell rang. I kid you not, a bell. I slammed the book shut and walked out of the room.
"What!" I barked into the house.
"Get in here!" Snape snarled. I rolled my eyes. Finally I found him, you think to make everything easier for me he would give me a tour. But no, hell no. I have to wander aimlessly around and then listen to him bitch when I don't get there quick enough.
I walked back into the study.
"Yes?" I asked rudely.
"I would like for you to make me some toast," Snape said not looking up.
"Seriously?" I asked like he was joking.
"Yes," Snape said angrily now looking up.
"What the hell gives you the impression that I can make toast? Is it the way I 'dust' or my impeccable knowledge of a kitchen? I don't even know what a toaster looks like!" I snapped.
"It is about yay high with two slots in it," Snape said out lining a box in the air.
"Cant you just summon toast?" I asked angrily.
"I could, but that is not why I have a maid," Snape said with a sarcastic smirk. I felt anger bubbling inside of me.
"I am seriously considering killing you tonight," I said with a calm expression. Snape looked at me like he didn't believe me. "What would you like on your toast? Jam, peanut butter, marmalade, rat poison?"
"What was that last one?" Snape said angrily looking up.
"Marmalade?" I asked with an innocent expression.
"I guarantee you kill me now and you will be dead within the hour," Snape said with a vicious smile. "Also when you finish getting me my toast I would like for you to clean my bathroom."
"No way," I snapped.
"You will do as I say," Snape roared.
"No you crazy bastard! I want to write to my mother. Now!" I said stomping my foot.
"No," Snape said. So I did what I did when I was a child. I held my breath, grabbed a hold of my ears, and stomped around until I got my way. My parents used to give in right away to stop me from doing it. I was now stomping around erratically. "What are you doing? Stop it. I mean it stop it this instant!"
I stomped until I almost passed out, and then to my complete disbelief, Snape caved.
"Alright," he snarled shoving past me. I clapped happily. He returned looking livid. "Write your fucking letter I will get my own fucking toast you worthless piece of shit!" he screeched.
"Thanks you big softie!" I said happily. He rushed out of the room. I sat down. And began to write as I spoke out loud. "'Dear Mum,…" I stopped. I really have not had a conversation with my mother in years. I mean obviously I had to make a hidden message. Every letter I needed to make into a message, I put a splotch next to it. Snape returned fifteen minutes later carrying a platter of toast.
"Have some," he said grudgingly shoving some in my face.
"Did you poison it?" I asked jokingly.
"No," Snape said looking like he didn't mean it. "Give me your letter."
"No!" I said covering it up. "Did you ever hear of privacy?"
"You are being held captive!" Snape roared.
"You just gave me toast! I have never, ever heard of a kidnapper to say 'Have some toast!' I would not advise kidnapping anymore people. Really this is like living with my grandfather," I said shaking my head and grabbing some toast.
"Is he dead?" Snape asked viciously.
"Yes," I said sadly.
"Oh," Snape said not looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be," I snapped. "You didn't kill him."
"Who says?" Snape said with a smirk.
"He fell off his fishing boat into the water. He was drunk. I highly doubt that is Death Eater ways," I said shaking my head.
"How old were you when he died?" Snape asked. I frowned. Something was happening. Either he was letting his guard down or I was really just poisoned.
"Sixteen," I said looking over at the picture on the wall.
"What about your parents?" Snape asked quietly.
I snorted. "Honestly, I'll be lucky if they show up to my funeral. You'd have to pull them away from their work. God forbid," I said scathingly.
"So will they notice you missing?" Snape asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Highly doubtful. When I moved out I think it was the happiest day of their life," I said shaking my head.
"Your parents did not like you?" Snape asked looking amused.
"No. My parents had to get married because my mother got pregnant with me. They were miserable my entire life. Blamed me too. Like I told my parents to have premarital sex," I said smiling slightly.
"So who will miss you?" Snape asked frowning.
"No one," I said now sadly. "I have not talked to Harry or Ron in years."
Snape looked panicked. "Really?"
"No, what do you think I'm an idiot? I know you put a truth potion on the toast. I spit it out," I said with a smirk. He looked angry. "I wasn't not the smartest witch in my year for nothing! Now show me to your bathroom."
"Get out of my sight!" Snape said. I thought he was going to leap out and kill me.
"So I don't have to clean your bathroom?" I asked feeling slightly more happy. I barely registered of something flying at my face before it hit me. It was a piece of toast. "You threw toast at me?" I asked snorting. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with a sense of giddiness that I slumped to the floor and held my sides. "So I'm not even good enough for a book?"
Snape got up and picked me up. "I am very close to killing you."
"Really? That's nice. Then can you please move a head and do it. This whole being held captive thing is getting borderline ridiculous," I said shrugging. "Also for your information, my mother will have every police officer in London looking for me when I don't show up. Not to mention what will happen when the Order gets involved."
"It will be too late then," Snape said with a smile.
"What if I just tell Harry not to come and get me? Tell him what is going on?" I asked trying to get his hands off of me.
"Then I will kill you," Snape snarled now inches from my face. I looked into his eyes. I could see my reflection in them.
"Oh my god," I cried horrified.
"I'm glad you finally see the severity of this situation," Snape said satisfied.
"My hair! Look at my hair! It is all over the place! Stay still!" I commanded making him look at me. "Do you have a brush?" I then looked at his hair. "Stupid question. I also guess shampoo is out of the question? I was afraid of that. Alright show me to your bathroom."
A/N Please read and review.
