Who Lies Beneath
Disclaimer: I own nothing, so therefore don't sue me. Gilmore girls belongs to ASP and the WB.
Summary: LL. "There's only one thing that can stop me." She told her best friend... She's made many mistake before, but which one's the mistake this time? The wedding, or the night before?
Authors Note: Okay, so wow! First off thank you guys SO much for the fabulous feedback! That was definitely record-breaking reviews right there! ;) We're really glad that you guys like the story as much as you do! Sorry that it took forever for the update. It took me a while to get started on this chapter but here it finally is, and to quote Annick, "tissies are a must." We hope the next chapter will be up much quicker than this one! So please read and review:)
Enjoy!
Chapter 2: Moving On
It was close to one o'clock by the time they got everything loaded in the car and ready to go. The weather was great for traveling and great for pleasure. Hopefully the weather would be nice in California where they were headed. It was an unusual place for them to be headed but they had a few places they wanted to see in mind. Another part on the more unfortunate side was that Max had a little bit of work he had to do in California. He didn't know he had to until after their wedding was set in stone one hundred percent. So their options were to hold off the honeymoon for about two weeks and go somewhere else or go to California for two weeks and Lorelai liked the going idea more. She had no objections against California whatsoever; as a matter of fact she was more than excited.
"So you're positive you have everything you need?" Max asked yet again.
"I'm positive, and a little irritated to tell you the truth."
"Why are you irritated?" He asked laughing.
"Because you've probably asked me if I have everything I need at least 13 times already."
"So, you're positive you have everything you need?" He said jokingly before getting into the car.
"Drive already." She mumbled. "So, how great is it that we get to say goodbye to my parents for two whole weeks?"
"Well it's not like you see them much anyways. Except for Friday night dinners."
"Which you will now be attending." She said with a wicked laugh.
"And I'm highly looking forward to them as a matter of fact." He said in all seriousness.
"You what?"
"I mean, I'm interested to see what goes on, you only talk about them all the time."
"They treat me like hell, that's what goes on. And if you don't believe me now," she laughed pathetically, "you just wait."
"I guess I'll have to."
Not even 5 minutes into their drive, Lorelai cursed under her breath.
"What's the matter?" Max asked.
"I forgot my coffee at home." She said pouting.
He sighed and gave her an 'I told you so' kind of look. He looked in his mirror to make sure it was safe to turn but Lorelai quickly asked, "What are you doing? You can just go straight and turn left at the corner to get back to the house."
"I know I was just going to go to Luke's instead. You can grab a cup before we leave."
Luke. The name alone scared her half to death. She made sure her cheeks weren't red with nervousness (and a little bit of embarrassment) when he said his name. There was no way she could go to the diner. Especially if Luke is there. Sure she'd have to face him sometime soon but not now, not today, and probably not for a few weeks. She just couldn't face him. And she knew that he couldn't face her. After all, he didn't even show up at the wedding, no matter how much damage he could have or would have done.
"You know what?" She put her hands on the wheels and tried to get him to go straight. "I'm fine. I'll just get coffee at my parent's."
He turned and looked at her to make sure she was fine without her coffee. "You're positive?"
"Definitely. After all, we might as well start that whole good punctuality thing sooner huh?" She laughed nervously.
"All right then, let's go."
The whole ride to the elder Gilmore's, Lorelai's mind was racing with thoughts about Luke. She couldn't concentrate on anything else but him and why he didn't show up. Even if he wasn't there to stop her, he could have at least shown up instead of wallowing in his own sorrow. Wait, she thought to herself, how do I know he's wallowing in his own sorrow? How do I even know he cares at all that I got married? She wondered if he even cared in the first place—about the night they shared. He had too; she convinced herself, remembering the little touches and stares that were shared during the night. He couldn't not care, she realized that if there was any way she could get over it—this thing with her and Luke—she'd have to act as if there was nothing to care about. Perfect, pretend he doesn't care and pretend you don't care either.
That wasn't going to work.
They both cared too much and that was the problem.
"Lorelai? Are you listening?" Max asked, tapping her on the leg.
"Huh, what? Sorry." She said snapping out of it and looking over at Max.
"You okay?" He asked when he noticed how flustered and confused she looked.
"Yeah I'm fine, sorry. What were you saying?"
"Do I turn left here?"
"Oh, uh," she looked around the streets, amazed that they were already almost at their house, "yeah, left here."
They pulled up to the Gilmore mansion and got out of the car, walking towards the door.
"So remember, quick and down to the point." She said pointing to Max.
"Got it."
Lorelai rung the doorbell and turned towards Max.
"Come here, you."
She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss before the maid opened the door.
"Hi, I'm here to see my parents." Lorelai said walking in. It was a new maid she didn't recognize so she figured she wouldn't recognize them either.
"They're straight in the back ma'am." The maid took their coats before the headed towards the back holding hands.
"She called me ma'am." Lorelai whispered into Max's ear. "I hate when people call me ma'am."
"She's just being polite." He suggested.
"Fine, but she makes me feel old. I don't like feeling old."
"We all know you're not old."
"Was that supposed to be dirty?" She said louder than intended as she walked into the living room where Emily, Richard and Rory were staring at them.
"Oh. Hi guys." Lorelai said laughing.
Emily rolled her eyes and sighed before getting up. "There they are!" She said with a kick of an enthusiasm.
"Emily, it's nice to see you." Max said returning the hug that Emily willingly gave him. Lorelai exchanged confused faces with both Max and Rory.
"Max how are you doing?" Richard said getting up from the couch and shaking his hand.
"Great thanks. How are you all?"
"We're great Max." Emily said happily. "We're just so excited to have Rory all to ourselves for two whole weeks."
Lorelai rolled her eyes and laughed. "You know, funniest thing mom, Rory was just telling me she almost couldn't breathe she was so excited."
"Was that supposed to be funny, Lorelai? The image of your daughter not being able to breathe?" Emily asked in all seriousness.
Lorelai couldn't help but laugh. "Wait, you're uh- you're serious aren't you?"
"No, I'm just seeing if you like my act I plan on using at the comedy club next week. Yes I'm serious."
"Sorry." Lorelai said before closing her mouth and pretending to zip it shut.
They all sat down together, talking about the wedding and the events that happened there. They all agreed they had a great time, Max and Lorelai especially, the both of them silently agreeing the events after the wedding we're great too. They told them their plans in California, Emily making sure to give them a list of places to go which Lorelai mentally reminded herself to throw out by the front door garbage oppose to the one in the kitchen.
Emily watched the couple the whole time. She watched how they held hands, how they sat close to each other, how happy Max looked and how occupied her daughter looked. She couldn't help but realize that Lorelai looked a little out of it—sort of like something was on her mind. She could tell she wasn't concentrating so much on Max's ramble about what kind of work he has to do in California. She watched Lorelai from the corner of her eye the whole rest of the time, keeping in mind possible things that could have her so occupied.
She really came up with nothing.
They look like a married couple though, she agreed to herself. They look happy despise what's on Lorelai's mind.
When Lorelai finally snapped out of it and tuned into what part Max was at in his babble, she looked at the wrist on his watch and gasped.
"We have to go."
"One second Lorelai, Max is in the middle of telling me something."
Max looked down at his watch before gasping himself.
"Actually, I hate to have to end here but we're going to be late if we don't leave now."
"Oh well then alright," Richard got up from his seat and walked over to them, "have an excellent time and make sure you go to those places we wrote down for you." He reminded them.
"We will, dad."
While Max said goodbye to Emily and Richard, Lorelai walked over to Rory and gave her a sad smile.
"I'll miss you kid." She said hugging her. "If you feel the need to run…I understand. Just, call me before you do it so I don't get a call from my mother telling me you ran away. I don't like surprises."
Rory laughed. "I won't run away. But if I do, I'll make sure to call you."
"Good." She pulled away and gave her a kiss on her cheek. "You'll think about me?" Lorelai asked pouting.
"I think I can do that. Have fun!"
"We will!"
"Bye mom."
"Bye, kid. I love you." She gave her one last hug, never really liking goodbyes.
"Love you too."
Almost simultaneously, Max walked over to Rory as Lorelai walked over to her parents.
"So, you'll take care of her right?" Rory asked Max.
"I'll try."
"Good. Cause you know, she's a lot to handle on her own."
"Yes, she is." He agreed. "Have fun with your grandparents."
"I will. And have fun in California. Make sure you guys bring me back something good." She said smiling.
"We definitely will. I'm sure your mom already has a list of things she wants to get you."
"Good. Encourage her to take it into consideration."
"I will." He said laughing before giving her a hug.
"Have a good time, Max."
They all said their last goodbyes and finally got out of the door and into the car.
"Man, I thought we'd never leave."
"Good thing you noticed it was getting late or else we would have been late for our flight."
"Well what can I say, punctuality is my strong point." She said winking as he pulled out of the driveway.
x-x-x-x-x
They weren't late to the airport. In fact they were a little early so Lorelai went to the coffee stand in the airport to get her and Max both a cup while he checked them in with the hostess near their terminal. Because of the nice weather, they were due for boarding in about a half an hour so they still had time to mingle.
She walked up to the coffee cart with her head stuck in her purse searching for her wallet.
"Two coffee's to go…" she looked up and her eyes widened when she saw the guy behind the coffee cart, "…please." Wow. She rubbed her eyes with the thought that possibly she was just a little sleepy and envisioning things. Nope, that didn't work.
"Here you go." He said handing her the cups of coffee which almost made her mouth drop. Not only did he look like him but he sounded a little bit like him too.
The attire was different, but nonetheless it looked like a spitting image of him. The eyes, the hair, even the mouth. Scary that she knew what his mouth looked like but it didn't stop her from noticing the resemblance.
"Uh, sorry," she said taking the cups, "thanks a lot." She walked away as quick as she could but turned around one last time before he was out of sight.
She walked up to Max who was reading a book he had in his carry on bag.
"There you are," she said sitting next to him, "this is for you." She handed him his coffee.
"Thanks. Find it okay?"
"Yeah, no problems at all."
"Great, well we're all checked in and we're due to board the plane in about 30 minutes so if you need to go to the bathroom or make a phone call or something, feel free to do that now."
"I'm fine for now." She said slumping back into her chair. "I'm just a little tired right now." She leaned against his shoulder and closed her eyes tightly for a few minutes. He glanced down at her and noticed her tense face.
He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and leaned down to ask her a question. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." She said closing her eyes.
Max noticed something a little different about her. He knew she was happy but it just seemed like something was bugging her. Maybe she really just was tired after all.
Thirty minutes later, Max shook Lorelai awake.
"Come on Lorelai, they're boarding our section now."
Lorelai opened her eyes and looked around confused. "Already?"
"You've been sleeping for the past half hour." He said laughing.
"Oh, yeah." She looked around the airport, still a little groggy from waking up. "I was."
x-x-x-x-x
When the flight finally began Lorelai felt a little sick. She slept for a few hours but right as she woke up Max asked her if she was okay. She barked at him (for caring) a little more than she should have. Wasn't this supposed to be the honeymoon stage? She apologized later during the flight and cuddled against him, trying to fall back asleep.
x-x-x-x-x
"Finally we're here!" Lorelai dropped her bags on the floor as Max lugged the rest into the room. "I thought we'd never make it!"
"Here we are." He dropped the rest of the bags and walked around the room with Lorelai checking everything out.
She went into the bedroom and plopped down onto the bed, closing her eyes for a second. "That plane ride was brutal."
"That's one way of putting it." He laid on the bed next to her. "Are you feeling better now?"
Lorelai rolled over and kissed him on his cheek. "Much better. Sorry again for going off on you, I didn't mean to yell."
"That's okay. Don't worry about it. You didn't look to good on the plane anyways."
"Are you calling me ugly?" Lorelai asked pretending to be mad.
"Yes that's exactly what I'm doing." She hit him playfully and pinned herself over his body holding his wrists down against the bed.
"Say your sorry!" She yelled.
He pretended to be in pain before leaning up and kissing her.
"Hungry?"
"Mmm hmm." She mumbled against his lips.
"Perfect. We already have reservations for dinner so go get ready."
"When did you make reservations?"
"I told you it wasn't already planned." He said smiling as he got off the bed to change. She followed him into the bathroom.
"What should I wear?"
"Nothing too fancy."
"Max, seriously." She said rolling her eyes.
"What?"
"How could you possibly think that's enough information?"
"About what you should wear?" He asked.
She sighed loudly and walked out of the bathroom. "Black or red?" She screamed into the bathroom.
He figured it was better if he just went along with whatever she was asking.
"Black." He shouted back.
x-x-x-x-x
It wasn't until 8 that they showed up for their reservation. Max made sure to make it later in the evening because there flight was certainly a long one. It was a quiet little Italian restaurant. There was a piano player and vocalist in the back playing music. Lorelai's eyes shot over to the dance floor while they took there seats at the table.
"Thank you." Max said to the hostesses. She nodded her head and walked away. Max sat down and realized Lorelai was still standing watching the couples dance.
"Lorelai? Are you going to sit down?"
"Sorry." She said looking at her seat. "Actually, come on." She grabbed him out of his seat and pulled him to the dance floor. "Dance with me."
He wasn't going to object. He knew she loved dancing and he loved dancing with her. She took him to the center before wrapping her arms around him, adjusting herself perfectly.
They softly swayed to the music. Lorelai rested her face near his neck and closed her eyes at one point, enjoying the relaxing dance.
"We didn't dance enough last night." She commented.
"I'm sorry. There was a lot going on."
"It's fine, I'm just saying."
"Well close your eyes and pretend it's our wedding." He said quietly.
Lorelai closed her eyes but couldn't imagine the wedding. "Yeah," she said softly, "our wedding."
As the song came to an end, they walked back to their table and ordered their dinner. They sat there discussing the wedding and how well they thought it went over.
"She was smashed!" Lorelai said laughing.
"I know, I heard her ask the bartender if he'd take her home and make love to her all night."
Lorelai chocked on her wine, laughing. "That's Patty for you."
"Babette wasn't too far behind her either."
"Yes but she had Morey to control her."
"He wasn't too far behind Patty either."
"What can we say? We kill thrower weddings." Lorelai said winking.
"So, you had a great time?"
"I had a wonderful time." Even though Luke was on her mind a lot of the night, she still had more than an amazing time at their wedding. Despite how guilty she felt.
"And how about you? I saw you flirting with Kate from the flower shop."
"Yes that was exactly what I was doing. Flirting when my wife was right next to me watching my every mood." He said smiling.
His words stung her stomach as she innocently smiled. "Man, I'm going to have to get used to that." She said sighing.
"What?"
"Being called a wife, it just sounds so different to me."
"I hadn't thought so."
"Hey, don't mock me mister."
"I'm not mocking you." He said hiding his laughter.
She leaned across the table and held onto his hand for a second before their waiter came.
The enjoyed the rest of the dinner while they talked about plans for the rest of their honeymoon and what was next on their list of things to do. They danced one more time before leaving and going back to their hotel.
"I never thought I'd like the big city." She said as they walked into the bedroom.
"So what's the verdict?"
"Well…from the 4 hours we've been here I'd say I love it already."
"I'm glad to hear it." He took off his shirt and looked around the room for one of his night shirts.
"Oh no, no Max." Lorelai said smiling seductively.
"What?"
"Remember I asked you black or red?"
"Yeah, I said black but you wore a purple dress."
"Right." She said slipping the dress off in one swift movement.
"Oh, I get it." He said grinning while she walked over to him.
x-x-x-x-x
The next morning Max woke Lorelai up with breakfast in bed.
"Wow." She said as she got up and looked around the room. "Nobody has done something quite this movie-like before."
"You like?" He said gesturing to the setup.
"You bet I do." She took a big sip of coffee. "So what's on the agenda for today?"
"Well, I know you want to go shop…" he started but paused when he says Lorelai grinning and nodding her head like a crazy person. "So I thought we could get lunch around town and go shopping a little later. I have to get a few things and I know you can get plenty of things. But the thing is…we're going to have to go soon because I've got something planned for later."
"Sounds devious." She said raising an eyebrow.
"Well I'm going in the shower. Eat your breakfast and when you're ready, let me know."
"Ok, thanks babe." She said smiling.
x-x-x-x-x
It was late afternoon when they finished up with their shopping which was extremely successful. They were on their way to wherever it was Max was taking her. It wasn't exactly supposed to be a surprise since really it was no big deal but somehow he turned into one because he liked annoyed Lorelai.
"Are we almost there?" She whined.
"We'll be there in about 5 minutes." He said calmly.
"No really, where are you taking me?"
"You really can't wait 5 more minutes? You've waited all afternoon."
"I guess…"she mumbled. "Just drive a little faster will you?"
"You know, my intention isn't to bring you down right now but this wasn't going to be a surprise. Somehow it just turned into one."
"Oh." She said lamely.
"That doesn't mean I hope you won't like it though. I know where I'm taking you doesn't scream Lorelai but…" he turned into the parking lot and they looked straight ahead in front of them.
"…I could see why taking to me to a grape field doesn't scream Lorelai?" She raised the end of it into a question.
"A vineyard. California's home for vineyards."
"What do we do here? Pick grapes?"
"Actually we're going to have a wine tasting."
"Oh like on TV?" She asked excitedly.
"I guess. I'm not sure what you've seen on TV."
"Where we get to step in the grapes and make wine and drink tons and tons of wine till we get drunk off our asses and can't walk?"
Max laughed. "That's one way of putting it, although I don't know if they're goal here at the vineyard is to get us uncharacteristically drunk."
"Well what are we waiting for?" She said taking off her seat belt. "Let's go!"
There guide, Lynn, was a great help. When she wasn't listening, Lorelai would whisper in Max's ear to stop flirting. They walked threw the vineyard, made wine like Lorelai thought they would, and drank more than Max imagined. They had dozens of different tastes of wine, all in which they enjoyed more and more as they kept coming.
"This is my favorite." Lorelai said taking a sip.
"You say that about every glass you try." Max pointed out.
"Have not."
"I have to agree with Max on this." Lynn said laughing. "I actually have a list of your favorite's right here." She said hanging Lorelai a small sheet of paper.
"We'll have to take a few bottles back to the hotel." Max commented.
"Are you guys from California?" She asked.
"Actually not at all. We're from Connecticut."
"So what brings you to California?"
"We're on our honeymoon actually." Lorelai said smiling.
"Oh! When was your wedding?" She said excitedly.
"Just two days ago actually."
"Wow, very newlyweds!"
"We are at that."
"How long are you guys in California for?"
"Two weeks. Unfortunately I have to work a bit while we're up here so we're staying a few extra days."
"Well then…I'll be right back." Lynn walked away from their table into the back.
Max and Lorelai both exchanged a 'she's so nice' to each other just before she returned baring 3 bottles of wine.
"Since you guys are newlyweds and here for what seems to be your first time from the impression Lorelai gave me when she was making the wine…"
Lorelai laughed. "Yes, it's our time first."
"Well then here, these are for you."
"Oh no Lynn, that's too much!" Lorelai said trying to get Lynn to take them back. "How much can I give you?"
"No, there from us here at the vineyard to you guys."
"You're too kind. Thank you so much for everything." They both got up out of their seats. Lorelai gave Lynn a hug goodbye as did Max.
"It's been great, really." Max added.
"Well enjoy the rest of your stay. You guys were a pleasure."
"We will. Thanks again for everything."
They left the vineyard and drove back to their hotel. It wasn't until about 7 that they got back to their hotel both completely exhausted and even a little tipsy.
"So are you hungry?" Max asked opening the door to their suite.
"Not at all right now. Are you?"
"Not right now."
"Do you want to watch a movie or something? They've got a lot of choices on TV."
"Sounds good to me." Max walked over to the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water. "So we'll just stay in for the night?"
"I thought so." She said grabbing one of the bottles from him.
"Alright well if you want you can go get changed out of your clothes."
"Perfect. I'll be back soon."
They spent the rest of the night in watching movies on TV. It took them over 20 minutes to decide what to watch because there were too many great ones to choose from. They both went to bed a little bit early, ready for yet another day like this tomorrow and more days to come.
x-x-x-x-x
Unfortunately the next two days were spent in the hotel and really only the hotel. Lorelai had come down with something and wasn't feeling very good. Perhaps it was because Max wouldn't let her drink coffee or maybe it was really because she had fever. Whichever it was, she hated it and wished to be better. This wasn't how their honeymoon was supposed to go.
"Can I get you anything?" Max said coming into the bedroom.
"Yeah, you." She said patting the seat next to her.
Max walked over to the bed and laid down next to Lorelai. "I wanna kiss ya right now for being so kind but I'm afraid I'll get you sick."
He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "Are you feeling any better?"
"A little. I'm so sorry this happened. And in a couple days you've got to do some work. It seems like we haven't gotten to have that romantic honeymoon you always hear about."
"Hey, as long as I'm with you right now, I'm fine. I'm just sorry you don't feel well."
"Yeah me too. Hey maybe when we get back to Stars Hollow we'll have our own little honeymoon. We can call it HM2."
"HM2?" He asked.
"Honeymoon 2…"
"Oh, sounds perfect. You know we should call Rory and your parents."
Lorelai made a rather annoying whining sound and lowered herself in the bed. "But I'm sick!" She complained.
"Fine not now, but when you're feeling better we should make sure to call them. I bet Rory really misses you."
"I'm sure she misses the third stair from the top in our house. I have no doubt in my mind that she's suffering at my parent's house."
"They're crazy about her. I'm sure she's having a great time."
"If by great you mean horrible then yeah, sure."
Max got out of the bed and turned the lights out. "You should get some sleep. It's getting late."
"Max?" She said quietly.
"Yes Lorelai?"
"Come lay down with me?" She asked quietly.
He smiled and closed the door while he walked back to the bed. He got underneath the covers with her and Lorelai instantly rested her head against the crook of his shoulder.
He kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight Lorelai."
"Goodnight Max."
x-x-x-x-x
The next few days Lorelai was still in recovery. It was Monday when she finally felt better. They were leaving Friday and Max had already started working on a few things. He had a couple of meetings to go to and a little bit of paperwork he did at nights. He felt horrible keeping her on her own at the hotel or around the town. He wanted to be with his wife but he knew that he was going to have to do this and she said she was fine with it.
Lorelai took a lot of time figuring things out in her head. She had lots going on in her mind and didn't have time to digest it all. If there was one thing she'd ban her head from thinking about, it would without a doubt be Luke. It was all so confusing. She wanted to know what he was thinking. She wanted to know so many things. Why he didn't come after her, why he didn't say goodbye to her before she left, why didn't he come to the wedding even if his appearance was as innocent as Rory when she was 10. She wanted to know so many things and couldn't figure out a way to find them out.
x-x-x-x-x
On Wednesday afternoon, Max was out at a meeting while Lorelai walked around town a bit. She got a few things for Rory and a few things for her parents and friends. When she got back to the hotel, she flipped on the TV and realized for once, she didn't want to watch anything. She sat in the big arm chair and closed her eyes, lost in thought as if it was her paying job. She concentrated on one question, over and over again. How could she figure it out? The answers have arisen from time to time but something about the thought of figuring out her and Luke's situation scared her. She wanted to know so badly what he was thinking but at the same time was terrified.
She couldn't take it any longer though. She walked over to the bedroom and closed the door making sure to lock it even though she was alone. She went to her purse and searched in the clustered pockets for her cell phone. When she finally found it, she picked it up and scrolled threw her phone book—wow, I know a lot of people with names that start with L, she thought to herself.
She leaned against the bed on the floor and held the phone in her hand staring at the highlighted name on her phone. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, inhaling the fresh air pouring threw her window.
Send. She pressed the button and listened as the toned ring rang, filling her stomach with horrible feelings of nervousness. She was confident he wouldn't answer. And she was confident that she wouldn't leave a message. This was a one time kind of thing. He could either answer and she'd ask her questions or he wouldn't and she'd lose out. Either way, it was directly or not.
This is Luke, leave a message.
Oh god, that voice. Her heart almost stopped beating.
"Luke? Hi, it's me, me Lorelai. I think you might have known that already though. I uh, listen; I'm actually just sitting on the floor of my bedroom in California cause well, I'm here on my honeymoon and I wasn't sure if you knew that cause you didn't show up at the wedding even though you had RSVPed so I had to just pay extra money for a no-show but that's okay, that's really okay because," she rubbed her forehead almost in tears because of how horrible she was being right now, "because, you uh, because you probably had other things to do. And I understand that. So, I guess I'll see you when I get back. I want to talk to—I have to go."
She hung up as quickly as possible. There was nothing more horrible than that message. She'd pray today and tonight and every other day till she got home that he wouldn't hear it. Of course he would though, and he would probably hate her so much for it.
She had to call back.
Don't answer, don't answer, don't answer, she repeated over and over again.
This is Luke, leave a message.
Thank god, she thought.
"Luke, I'm so sorry about that. I just, I don't know where that came from. I didn't mean to sound like a horrible person just now, I just, I didn't know what to say and I still don't. It's just that I'm really upset and confused right now and I know I shouldn't be because, well…I'm sure we all know why I shouldn't be feeling like this now. For God sakes, I'm married. And, I don't even know who I—I just don't know what to think. I'm home on Friday though. I'm conveniently missing the classic Friday night dinners but maybe we can talk or something. I really need to talk to you. I'm just—I don't understand, why didn't you--" And right then and there, she was cut off.
It was supposed to be a one time thing, she thought to herself about several different things. Originally with the message in mind but one thought led to another.
If only she knew how he felt…
August Twelfth
Luke was upstairs in his apartment still looking at the note. He had read it so many times his brain was going to explode. He had looked at it so long he could probably write it the exact same way as Lorelai did. He didn't know what to do.
He had a few options. He could go. He could go and act as if nothing happened between them. Or he could go and do the whole movie thing where the guy comes to rescue the girl at the alter when they ask if anyone opposes to stand. Or, he could just not go.
First he had to figure out what exactly he wanted to do. It would be easier if he knew how to digest the letter correctly. He was never good at looking for subtext. He wanted to badly to go to the wedding and take her away from Max and spend another night with her that night and every night to come. He wanted to be with her more than anything but he knew it wouldn't work like that. She openly gave him permission to stop her, that much he could figure out, but did she really mean it? That was the real question.
He glanced at the clock. How was it already 4:25? The diner was closed for the day on account of everybody would be at the wedding.
The wedding that starts in 35 minutes.
He walked to his window and stared outside into the gazebo which was all set up.
It hit him like a bunch of bricks, what exactly he knew he had to do.
He got in the shower and took a quick shower. He got out and looked for his nice suit. After searching for it threw the back of his closet, he got dressed, fixed his hair, put his shoes on and took a look at the clock.
The wedding starts in 10 minutes.
He got up and looked outside the window.
He saw the one thing he knew if he saw, he'd change his mind.
He took his shoes off and threw his suit somewhere on the floor.
Friday came quicker than expected. The last two days were a little better than the others. They went out to dinner on Thursday night and went to breakfast Friday morning before their flight. Max had a lot of work related issues on his mind while Lorelai still had lots of Luke issues on her mind. He never called her back and she knew that was a bad sign.
They arrived home close to 5:00 pm. Rory was staying with Emily and Richard one last night so that Max and Lorelai could get adjusted on their own. Max had to go home and do some things at his house for a few hours. He took Lorelai home and walked all her stuff inside.
"I'm sorry I've got to go for a bit."
"It's okay; it gives me a chance to unpack."
"Yeah right, like you'd actually unpack the day we get back."
"I know that was weird coming from my mouth." She tried looking down at her own lips and shrugged.
"I'll be back soon though. And we'll do something for dinner."
"Perfect."
He leaned in and gave her a kiss.
"Bye Max." She said waving to him as he left.
When his car pulled out she ran up to her room and crashed into her bed. She closed her eyes for a few minutes before pulling herself out of bed.
She knew she had plenty to do. There was so much to be done but she didn't want to start any of it. All she really wanted right now was Luke's coffee. She could go and see him but that thought alone almost killed her.
But really, she could go see him.
Before she knew what was happening she was driving over to the diner. Unsure of where the idea came from, she needed to go and she needed to go now or else her head would honestly explode.
There were only a few people there. She parked across the street and looked into the diner windows. She didn't see him but she did see Caesar. He was probably in the back, she told herself. Or maybe he was cooking. Whatever it was he was doing, it made him invisible and damn it was pissing her off.
She got out of the car and walked into the diner. If she wasn't insane she would never be doing this. But everyone knows how insane she is. And there was no stopping her now because she had that look in her eye as she walked up to the diner and opened the doors.
The smell. She inhaled the environment of coffee and food, loving the comforting feeling it provided her with.
Luckily nobody she was very friendly with was in the diner. No Babette, no Patty, no Kirk, no nothing. Just a few random customers who had no interest in Lorelai or her honeymoon.
She sat at a stool and just as she looked up, he was in front of her, staring at her like he had never seen such an image. He didn't expect her to be there at the diner. Not after what happened that night, not after those messages, not after...her name was Lorelai. Because everyone knew facing somebody so quickly was not very Lorelai like.
They stared at each other for a long while. Neither new what to say. They probably never would. They were both lost in thought, so many questions they wanted to ask each other but knew they shouldn't.
"Hey Luke." She said lamely. Crap that came out wrong.
"Coffee?" He asked her.
Gosh this is weird. They both thought. They were acting completely normal minus the weird stares and that wasn't how things were supposed to go. They were supposed to be weird, and mean to each other, fighting, or kissing, or apologizing, not normal and asking for coffee.
"Please."
He poured her a cup and handed it to her; their hands both touching each others for a second.
"Thanks."
She took a sip and sighed into the cup.
"I missed this stuff." She said softly.
"Yeah well…it's been a while." He said leaning against the back of the counter acting more normal than ever.
"It has been."
They both shared another mutual eye conversation. He looked the same. Maybe a little different…it seems as though he hadn't shaved in a while. Otherwise he still wore flannel, jeans, and a backwards baseball hat so things looked the same. He noticed she looked different as well. A little worn out, but still beautiful like always.
"Hey Luke?" She asked quietly.
"Yeah?" She was going to ask him if he could talk. She had too.
"Can I have this coffee to go?"
Boy that came out wrong. Luke wordlessly grabbed her cup and poured it into a to-go cup.
"It's on the house." He said before she had the opportunity to take out her money.
"Thanks." She got up and headed towards the door. She placed her hand on the door knob and stayed put for a few seconds before turning around and looking at Luke who was still transfixed on her. "Can you come over tomorrow? Say around 3:00?"
"Sure." He said before he could think.
"Great. See you then."
As soon as she walked outside of the diner, Luke's facial expression changed into one confused face. That wasn't Lorelai, he convinced himself. Lorelai would never come in and talk to him the day she got back. She would never face her problems this soon.
x-x-x-x-x
"So did you do anything tonight?" Max asked crawling under the blankets with her.
"Uh, not really. I wanted to unpack but couldn't so I went to Luke's to get a cup of coffee." Crap, I didn't mean to say that out loud.
"Oh good. I bet you missed his coffee."
"Oh of course. How about you? How's the house?"
"It's ready."
"Good." She said smiling.
"I just wanted to continue working on freeing up the guest bedroom. I moved around a lot of the furniture also."
"You know, it's just Rory and I moving in. Not a basketball team or anything." She said smiling.
"I know but have you seen the amount of stuff you guys have?"
"Ah, good point."
"So, a week and half…are you ready?"
"I'm more than ready." She said before leaning over to turn her bedside light off. "Goodnight, hun." She gave him a quick kiss.
"Goodnight."
x-x-x-x-x
It was almost 3:00 and Lorelai was scared out of her mind. She didn't even know if Luke was going to show up. Max was working, getting ready for the fall classes to begin and Rory was still at her grandparents until after dinner.
She put on her favorite jeans and a cute white shirt. She put her makeup on and right as she finished with that, the doorbell rang. Her stomach dropped to the ground and head started spinning.
Responsible adults, she reminded herself, we talk for a little while about what happened and that is all. When I get my answers, he can leave.
She walked down the stairs and to the door, checking herself one last time in the mirror. With her own self-approval, she opened the door and there he was.
"Hey, come on in." She said opening the door.
"I brought food. I didn't know if you had eaten lunch already or what so I just brought us some."
"Great…how about we go into the TV room? I'll go get some drinks for us."
"Alright."
She walked into the kitchen and almost did a double take. Was that honestly Luke back there? She wondered. He seemed so calm and cool, like nothing had ever happened with them when clearly something happened. Something huge! And he acted as if he was completely dismissing it.
Maybe he didn't care as much as she thought he would. After all, it's not like he stopped her. He had the opportunity too but he didn't. That had to have said something. If only she knew what he was thinking? And to think that this was supposed to be them talking about how what happened scared her. She was starting to believe they'd never talk about it.
She came back a few minutes later, drinks in hand. Luke had set out all the food and thanked her when she brought him his drink. She sat down and they both ate in peace, not once talking about it. They talked about the diner and how it's been doing, they talked about Kirk and how his mother chased him down the street the other night, and they talked about movies and Lorelai mocked him for not seeing quite a few.
When they finished eating, the topic of it was almost off her mind. She was enjoying there time together and was thankful in a strange way that everything seemed to be okay.
"Want to watch TV?" She asked hopefully.
"Sure, I've still got a little time." He said glancing at the clock.
"Great." She looked around for the remote and flipped through the channels. When she came across a baseball game, she glanced at Luke who was already deeply concentrating on the game.
"I assume we have to watch this, huh?" She asked laughing.
"We don't have to." He said kindly.
"It's okay, we can." She put down the remote between their legs. They were sitting unusually close, it was probably unconscious but the fact was they were recognizing it now was what counted.
Normally Lorelai would have put up a fight about the game. She would have forced him to change it, but right now her mind wasn't focused on the TV or what was playing. It was focused on Luke, and how her body reacted to him sitting so closely. She was thinking about how badly she wanted to talk about stuff with Luke but she knew they were both playing around the fence because they simply weren't ready. Either they just didn't want to talk about it, or they didn't know what to say, whatever it was, now wasn't the time and it sure as hell was awkward being so normal. She never imagined things would happen this way in a million years.
She shifted in her seat, resting her hands beside her legs which accidentally brushed across Luke's leg. She kept her hand on the side of her leg, close near his hand which was almost in the same position. After a few not so discrete minutes, Lorelai felt Luke's pinky running across her hand. The instant feeling almost made her dizzy. This certainly wasn't supposed to be happening. Not again. Cause after all, this is how is started the first time. The subtle touches, the casual glances…it wasn't supposed to happen again but it was and there was nothing they could about it.
At one point during the game that they were both so intensely watching, Luke's hand completely covered Lorelai's. There's a chance they would have stayed like that for the rest of their time together but thankfully, Rory called and interrupted them.
"Sorry about that." Lorelai said walking back into the room. "That was Rory. She's on her way home from my parents actually."
"Oh." Luke got up and looked around the room. "I should get going then."
"Oh, well, yeah I guess so. Thanks for bringing the food over."
"Anytime."
"I'm glad we got to…you know, hang out."
"Me too." He said honestly.
"Do you think…maybe you want to do the same thing tomorrow?" And we can actually get some talking done.
"Really?" He asked surprised.
"Really."
"Uh…" he looked at her confused, "sure. Same time?"
"Same place."
"Perfect. So I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tomorrow." He repeated before walking out.
Wow. No coherent thoughts were formulating. It was all a bunch of 'huh's?' floating through her mind. She knew they weren't supposed to be like that today. They were going to be mature, she remembered.
So much for being mature.
She closed the door and leaned back against it, closing her eyes and sighing.
x-x-x-x-x
They spent the next four days together, Luke and Lorelai. Max was always working in the afternoon and Rory was out with Lane most of her afternoons. It was an unspoken agreement that at 3:00 everyday, Luke would come over with food, they'd talk, not once about it, eat, watch TV, and play fake footsie or in most of the cases, handsie even though that wasn't a such thing.
It was Thursday and she knew she had to tell him something. The only thing was she wasn't sure how to approach him. She turned the TV off and turned to face him.
Great, here's the talk. He thought. He had been avoiding it all week. He didn't have answers for her. It wasn't something he could help though.
"So Luke." She said slowly.
"Yeah?"
"I've got some news and…I don't know, I just thought I should share it with you."
"What is it?"
"Well, man, I'm not sure how to say it, I guess I'll just say it as it should be said…I'm moving."
His eyes widened and dropped. "You're what?"
"Rory and I, we're moving in with Max in Hartford."
"How can you do that?" He asked utterly surprised.
"Well, we pack our stuff and one day, we're going to be taking it all over to Max's."
"I know how you move, Lorelai. I just didn't know you were."
"I know you didn't. And I didn't mean to stun you or surprise you. I just didn't want to tell you yet."
"So when are you moving?"
She swallowed hard. "Three days."
Luke shot up from the couch. "Three days?" He asked loudly.
"Yes." She said quietly.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" He asked gesturing wildly with his hands.
"I don't know Luke. We've been having a nice week and well I don't know I didn't want to just drop the bomb on you."
"Well you just did."
"I know, and…I'm starting to think that was stupid."
"Well what do you expect? You should have told me sooner than this, damnit." He paced back and forth through out the room.
"I'm sorry Luke. I didn't know you'd take it so seriously."
"Why do you underestimate yourself so much Lorelai? You know that you're my best friend. I don't know why you think I wouldn't care."
She stayed quiet for a second, not knowing what to say.
"I have emotions too, you know."
Lorelai bit her bottom lip, afraid she'd cry or something she wouldn't want to say would come out of her mouth.
"You know what never mind, I've got to go."
Before she could say something else he was out the door and long gone.
The rest of the day, Luke was on her mind. She wanted to call him or go and see him but she figured that this was his thing. Sure it was wrong of her not to tell him but he was the one who was very upset about it (not saying she wasn't either) and he needed to be the one to cool off.
x-x-x-x-x
The next day, Lorelai went out shopping for things for the house. She knew Luke wasn't going to be over for there regular 3:00 visit so she didn't bother getting home by 3:00. When she finally got home it was close to 4:15. She noticed Luke's truck outside of her house so she walked quickly into her house.
"Hello?" She screamed.
"Up here!" He shouted from upstairs.
She walked up the stairs and found Luke sitting on her floor taping boxes on her floor. "Hey, you weren't here earlier so I came up here to look for you and saw your boxes lying around. So I decided to tape a few of them up for you. I did a few in the kitchen and downstairs bathroom as well."
"Luke you shouldn't have." She said sweetly.
"Why were you not done packing them up?"
"No I was, I just…after yesterday I didn't think you were going to come by."
"Hey, forget about yesterday. Let's just enjoy the time we've got left." She secretly wanted him to say the time they've have left together. She knew she shouldn't still be having these more than friendly feelings for Luke. She's married. Perhaps she was already feeling lonely; she hadn't seen Max much this week. He had been cramming for school to start in the next week and was really busy with all of his work.
"So, I've still got some time. You want to go finish up the bathroom or the kitchen?"
"That sounds perfect."
Close to an hour later they were done with the boxes they had been working on.
"Beer?" Lorelai asked pulling two bottles out.
"Sure, thanks."
"Hey come on; let's go outside for a bit, the weather's great."
She walked outside through the front door and sat down on the steps on the front porch. A few moments later, Luke appeared next to her, sitting down right beside her. They both stared out into the street, not really talking to each other. They stayed quiet for about 5 minutes before Lorelai felt Luke's hand on top of hers.
It was something about the fact that he was doing this even though she was moving in two days. It was something about the fact that had had his chance to be with her before and he didn't take her up on it. Something set her off and she wasn't prepared to bring it up at that specific moment but she did.
"Luke, stop." She took her hand away from his and stood up on the porch. "We can't keep doing this Luke. We can't keep pretending nothing happened!" She said loudly.
"Lorelai--"
"No Luke. I don't know when this got as weird as it did. I've enjoyed this past week with you, I really have, but I feel like after…that night, we ended on a really bad note. I don't know why you even talked to me when I got back from my honeymoon. It was very unlike us to suddenly pretend nothing happened when we both know very well that something big, something really big happened."
"Listen Lorelai. I don't know what to say…I'm just as confused about everything as you are. But if there's one thing that I know about that night, I know it was wrong. The timing couldn't have been any more wrong. I mean, you we're getting married the next day."
"You don't think I don't know that Luke? You don't think that everyday I feel more and guiltier for what I did with you that that night?"
"So it's my fault?"
"I'm not pointing fingers, Luke. It's my fault and it's the beers fault. Hey, I'm not going to lie. It was wrong, but it wasn't a drunken mistake. And, I don't regret it, I really don't, what we had and…have is special and I wouldn't take what we have. It was irresponsible of me and I shouldn't have done it."
They were both silent for a moment. Luke held his head in his hands before standing up.
"I'm sorry that I've been with you constantly this week. I didn't mean to make our innocent visits into something more. And right now, I just…I don't want you to go, Lorelai." He said honestly.
She'd miss him too. Hell, she already was missing him. But she couldn't tell him that the reason she thought it was so good to get away and live in Hartford was because it would mean getting away from him. That would sound rude, inconsiderate and very childish. As if she was running away from all her problems. But truth has its ways and that's the direction her truth took her. Running away from her problems just seemed easier right now.
"I miss you already." She said nodding. They took a second to look at each other before Lorelai leaned in to give him a hug. He held her in his arms for a good few seconds, hugging her tightly trying to keep this feeling locked in his mind, the feeling of her body against his. He began pulling away but she whispered 'not yet' into his ear.
Moments later, they pulled away and Luke handed her his bottle of beer before walking down the steps to his car.
"Hey Luke?" She called out before he opened his door.
He turned around and looked at her.
"I'll come visit."
He nodded his head and smiled before getting into the car.
She watched him drive off and it suddenly hit her that that would be the last time she'd watch him drive out of her driveway in Stars Hollow.
x-x-x-x-x
Early Sunday morning, Rory, Max, and Lorelai were up and ready to leave. They had everything in two cars. Lorelai and Rory were following Max to their house with more stuff in her car. Max was already waiting in his car waiting for the girls to be ready. They both stood in front of the cleaned out house and stared straight ahead.
"So," Lorelai said with a monotonous voice, "you're still okay with this?" She asked.
"I'm still okay with it." Rory repeated confidently.
"Well then, say goodbye."
"Goodbye house." Rory said out loud to the house. She gave her mom a quick kiss on the cheek before walking to the jeep.
When Rory was out of sight, Lorelai whispered, "goodbye house."
x-x-x-x-x
They had arrived at their house a little over 30 minutes later. They were already dragging in boxes labeled "Lorelai's Room" because she needed to find a spare change of clothes and different shoes. She went into the first two boxes with no luck but it wasn't until the third box she opened and found a piece of paper on top of it.
She opened it up and looked at the handwriting, noticing it instantly.
There's only one thing that can stop me.
-Lorelai.
Tears welled to her eyes as she turned it over and noticed something on the back.
The only thing that could have stopped you was yourself.
TBC
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