The One With the Couch

Summary: In TOW a Cop, how did Ross' couch get to be cut in half?

A/N: Alright, I am now officially hooked on missing scenes. It's just that in every episode there are so many possibilities!

FYI: This first spoken line is the only part that was in the episode.


Chandler squirmed, trying to pry himself from the wall, to no avail. The couch's back was pinning him too hard. Thinking maybe he did something wrong, he asked Ross, "Oh, you know, what did you mean when you said 'pivot'?" At their disbelieving stares he concluded that he had gotten the definition right – the couch just wouldn't move that way.

Clearing her throat, Rachel shook her hair out of her face, still holding onto the couch. "Ok, what now, Mr. 'I'll-take-it-myself'?"

"Well, I don't think it will go up anymore –" Ross started.

Chandler and Rachel interrupted simultaneously, "No, really?"

Ross rolled his eyes. " – or slide back down, so maybe we should get ourselves untangled first and look at it from a different perspective."

Chandler again attempted to free himself from the couch's clutches. "And how would we do that, Einstein?"

"You know, if you guys have any ideas, you're welcome to speak up," Ross answered, fed up with his friends' uncooperative attitudes. When neither of them responded, he smirked and continued, "As I was saying, Rachel, you let go of the bottom and get out of the way, in case it moves. After she does that, Chandler, you climb over the back of the couch onto the seat and get down from there. I'll, uh…launch myself forward."

Rachel gaped at him. "Ross, are you nuts?"

"Again, Rach, you have any better ideas?" Ross snapped, although he had to admit he was a little afraid that he would break a leg when he got to the landing. "Ok, on the count of three, Rachel, you move, ok?" She nodded, and he started counting, "One…two…you were supposed to wait until 'three'!"

"I'm sorry Ross I got nervous!" Rachel wailed, now all the way down the steps and close to the front door. She had practically jumped out of the way and dashed to her current position. Unfortunately her panic was useless – the couch hadn't budged.

"Alright, your turn, Chandler." Ross pointedly ignored Rachel, for fear that he would bark at her another time and she would get even more upset than she already was. "One…two – " Ross cut himself off as Chandler climbed over the couch, glided across the seat and fell onto the landing. "What is with you people and the inability to wait three seconds?"

"I'm with Rachel – you make me nervous!" Chandler protested, standing next to Rachel near the door.

"I never said that!" Rachel argued.

"You may as well have!"

Ross rolled his eyes. "Alright, calm down. It's done already. I'm going." He took a deep breath, carefully moving his hands so that they were on the arm rest rather than underneath. "Ok, one…two…" He glanced at Chandler and Rachel, clearly showing them that he wasn't going to go a number too soon. "Three!"

What happened next remained a foggy blur in Ross' mind. One minute he was jumping onto the couch, the next Chandler and Rachel were helping him off the floor. Rubbing his head as he stood up, he vaguely wondered, How'd I get to the bottom of the stairs without going down them? "Wha…what happened?"

Chandler held Ross' arm, steadying him. "You, uh, fell."

"Could you be more specific?"

Rachel unconsciously rubbed a new bump on Ross' forehead. "You sort of…slipped and crashed over the railing. And now we have good news and bad news."

Ross raised an eyebrow. "I'll take the good news first."

"Well, it, uh, flew like the wind!" Rachel exclaimed softly, giving him a rather feeble thumbs-up sign.

"And the bad news?"

She hesitated before revealing, "It, um, didn't survive impact."

Ross' forehead creased in confusion. "What?" He ran to the side of the steps and ducked out of his friends' view. "Oh my God!"

Rachel and Chandler rushed to his side, but weren't as shocked, having seen the couch break into two on the railing. Chandler scratched his head. "Well, at least we'll be able to get it up the stairs now."


A/N: Ok, I'll admit, not my best work. But I'm hooked on these missing scenes, hooked I tell ya!