He was currying Delian and asked his Companion if he had any advice. Delian snorted with what sounded suspiciously like equine laughter.
:Why don't you ask the lady herself:
Tantris snorted sarcastically. :How would I do this when every time I try to talk to her, she finds some excuse and leaves, almost like she's trying to get away from me. I can't think of anything I might have done to upset her:
Tantris scratched his head in confusion and resumed currying Delian.
After a little while, Delian spoke again, this time soberly.
:Perhaps she is unsure of your feelings, or her own even. Outlanders are not always familiar with our ways. I still think you should just come right out and ask her:
He turned his sapphire blue eyes on his Chosen.
:You are lifebonded. It will eat at you both until you talk it out. I would suggest you turn me over to the grooms; she is out walking in the Companions' Field at present so she can't escape you should you decide to talk to her:
Tantris was startled.
:She is:
He hurriedly passed the currycomb to one of the grooms and rushed from the stables to catch Llyria before she could get away from him again.
Lyria slipped out of the Healer's Collegium. They'd been allowing her small periods of exercise, but nothing that would tax her strength. She needed to think in a place where there weren't any people around. People made her feel strange, uncertain, and uncomfortable. Looking around, she decided to head in the direction of the woods. She felt safer there than anywhere else. She climbed the fence and entered the field.
About halfway there, she felt the presence she'd been dreading. Tantris.
She'd been avoiding him ever since the night she'd had the dream where
she'd died in Vanyel's arms. Llyria felt awkward around him, even tho she felt
he loved her, and would do anything for her. She knew she'd promised herself
to live in the moment but she rationalised, it was too soon to trust even
Tantris. She'd been weak and ill when she'd let him get close to her. She'd
do her best not make that mistake again.
It hurt her, knowing she was hurting him, but she felt she had no choice.
Llyria had been hurt too much in the past, and couldn't bear to be hurt
again. She pretended to ignore him until he stood in front of her, impeding
her progress.
"Llyria, I know you are avoiding me," he said, determined to make her talk to him.
She continued on her way, steadfastly refusing to acknowledge his words. He walked with her, undaunted.
:Llyria, I know you can hear me: he mindspoke and almost passed her as she stopped.
"What do you want from me?" she asked angrily. "Can't you see I am busy?"
He grabbed her arms and made her face him.
"Llyria, talk to me. Why are you avoiding me? Have I done something to offend or hurt you that I am unaware of? You can't keep doing this. It is tearing me apart, and I can guess it is the same for you." He shook her gently.
"Please, Llyria, I need to know!" he exclaimed in frustration.
Llyria cried out and he instantly felt contrition. He instantly began to apologise when she collapsed into his arms, weeping in frustration and sorrow.
"I'm so sorry. I didn't know what to do. I don't know what a lifebond really
is and I am so afraid. Afraid of being hurt. I didn't want to hurt you either
so I avoided you," she sobbed into his white cambric shirt. "I don't know anyone
here, I don't really know who anyone is, what they want from me, who to trust,
even. I thought I could..."
Tantris put his arms around her carefully. He hated to see a woman cry, much less the woman he loved. "It's all right, Llyria, it's all right," he whispered into her hair, not knowing if she heard him, and not really caring.
He led her to the small temple in the grounds of the Companions' Field where they sat on the stonework steps leading to the entrance. Taking her hands, he waited until she'd gotten herself under control before speaking.
"Now, let's start over again please. Have I done or said anything..." he began but stopped when she put her fingers to his lips.
"Please. I will try to explain," she whispered so he had to strain to hear her.
Taking a deep breath, she said, "As you know, I am not from your country, so I have no idea about your customs, your culture, or anything. I don't even know what your currency is or your way of marking time. All this talking about lifebonds...well I am scared to death. I don't know what any of it means for me, for us. I don't know how your friends or your family will react to me, whether they will cast you out for being with me, an outlander." She sighed and looked close to tears again as she slumped next to him.
"I haven't exactly learned how to trust anyone either. Being kept how we were, we basically kept to ourselves unless the Master wanted us for..." she stopped suddenly, not wanting to go down that path just yet.
Tantris put his finger under her chin, raising her face to his. Smiling at her, he tried to put all his love into his words as he answered her spoken and unspoken questions, despite the roiling of his gut that he knew was a reaction to Llyria's own mixed-up feelings.
"It's all right. Honestly, it is. My family are pretty easy going once you get to know them and you've already met Herald-Mage Vanyel who is one of my best friends, if not THE best friend I have here. Being a Herald does have its advantages," he smiled and went on. "I would like to take you to meet them once you're up to it. I know they'd love to meet you. They've been after me to find a nice girl and settle down for years now and they know that I'd rather have someone who I love than someone they pick for me."
He grinned at the startled expression on her face and gave her a gentle hug in reassurance.
"As for the rest of it, well, being lifebonded is like nothing else in the world, or so others who are lifebonded have told me. Just ask Vanyel. He would know better than I. Although," here Tantris looked thoughtful. "Maybe now would not be the best time to talk to him about that, perhaps some time down the road when he's had more time to come to terms with things. His lifebonded died a few years ago under tragic circumstances..."
Llyria looked sad but nodded. He smiled back at her and continued speaking.
"From what I understand of it, a lifebonding is the conjoining, or reuniting
of 2 souls into one, and that one is never truly complete without the other.
In extreme cases, it can be so strong that one feels what the other is
feeling and vice versa. Vanyel and Tylendel's lifebonding was like that,
and I think that our lifebonding is at least as strong, if not stronger.
Lifebonding is rare in anyone, let alone Heralds..." Tantris looked sidelong
at her.
"Now I can make both myself and my family happy at the same time. I hope to
make you happy as well," he said to her with such an earnest and endearing
expression on his face that Llyria had to smile in response, despite her misgivings.
However, she clearly wasn't convinced. Tantris sighed inwardly. This was not
going to be as easy as he thought.
"What about the rest of my questions?" she asked shyly.
Tantris looked startled. "What questions?"
Here Llyria laughed and he thought he'd never heard such a beautiful sound.
He promised her silently that he would do everything he could to ensure she
laughed all the time and rarely, if ever, cried.
"About your country, silly. What is the currency you use? How do you keep time? What are your customs for things such as this? Are there any other surprises I need to be aware of?" She was content for the moment to let the matter drop. Things were getting too heavy for her liking.
He smiled sheepishly. He'd totally forgotten the rest of it in his rush to explain lifebonding and what it meant. Taking a look at the position of the sun, he got up and held out his hand to her gallantly.
"Why don't we go and get something to eat? By my reckoning, it's well past the noon meal and I don't know about you, but I'm hungry," he grinned and bowed to her as she got up. "We can talk about it later," he finished.
She blushed and agreed with his estimation of the time and their state of hunger. The growling of their stomachs echoed in their ears as they laughed and headed back to the main buildings.
"You must promise to tell me everything," she said as they entered the dining hall.
Tantris nodded and grabbed some plates and cutlery from a passing trainee. Claiming some seats near where a few of his friends were talking amongst themselves in the corner of the hall, they hailed him with hearty pats on the back. A few even made catcalls, causing Llyria to blush and duck her head in embarrassment. Glaring at the miscreants, he helped her seat herself in a chair.
"I'll go get us something to eat," he told her, smiling.
Before he left, he told the others a little about Llyria to get the conversation started, informing them of her hearing impairment and that they had better be nice to her or he'd take it out on them on the obstacle course or in the salle during practice.
They reassured him that they'd take good care of her while he was gone and as soon as he'd left, they began bombard her with questions about where she'd come from and how she'd met Tantris. She'd never met people so inquisitive in her life and it took her back a bit to meet people so openly curious about her. Her feelings of uncertainty and discomfort returned and she didn't know what to do.
As she sat waiting for Tantris to come back and rescue her, a shadow fell across the table and the others looked up and welcomed the newcomer. Delanthis looked down her nose at the girl sitting a little away from the group and nudged one of the others at the table.
"Who's she?" she asked in a bored tone.
"That's Tantris' lifebonded. I think her name is..." her companion thought for a moment, "Llyria or something odd like that." He turned away to chat to someone else for a moment, leaving Delanthis to look measuringly at the new girl.
She didn't really look like Tantris' type, she thought haughtily. So this was why Tantris never came around any more. She looked up bitterly as Tantris appeared and sat down next to the girl. 'Why, she looks like a little mouse,' Delanthis thought, unkindly. 'I don't know what he sees in her. Maybe she's got him under some sort of spell or enchantment.' She looked away, all of a sudden unable to bear the thought of Tantris with anyone else but her.
"I've got stuff to do, I can't sit here swanning about all day," she said almost rudely to the others. She spared Llyria barely a glance as she brushed past, deliberately stepping on the younger girl's foot as she passed. "Oh, sorry. Was that your foot? I didn't meant to step on you." she smiled with a false sweetness as she made her 'apology'.
Llyria looked at the strange Herald with uncertainty. She could have sworn the older woman meant to step on her but with all the different social cues, she couldn't be sure. She just smiled and nodded in acknowledgement, barely hearing what she'd said anyway, but grasping the gist of it. Tantris barely looked up from his conversation at all, merely giving Delanthis a wave by way of greeting. This seemed to irritate the woman even further, as she flushed and hurried away.
'These Heralds are strage people,' she thought to herself as she watched Delanthis'
retreating back. She turned and shrugged to herself, deciding for the moment not to
worry about it. She would just have to be on her guard. Maybe she could trust Tantris,
as well as perhaps the Herald-Mage Vanyel, but she'd keep her own counsel on the
rest of them until they proved themselves, no matter what her lifebonded said.
